FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Socials
Socials
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"What’s the answer then"
There's one solution fits all to the thorny problem of single men getting meets.
Socials are a great way to meet people and get to know them and could lead to more but it's no guarantee. |
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"I've been to a couple of Manchester ones.
You have to be happy to mingle.
Wallflowers may as well not bother. 
If I remember correctly you were very shy and retiring at the Sussex socials 🤔🤣🤣🤣"
And I remember you turned a lot of heads.  |
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"I've been to a couple of Manchester ones.
You have to be happy to mingle.
Wallflowers may as well not bother. "
Just to say anxious and neurodivergant people are more than welcome at socials.
Not everyone is comfy out the gate. |
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Getting back to your original poster. I think if you attend more group social events you would integrate very well as your verifications show you enjoy a chat. Building up connections via such social events will get you noticed and maybe invites to house parties etc, where there's no pressure on anyone to play but more importantly its to create a positive atmosphere, which you would certainly contribute towards.
Mrs |
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"I've been to a couple of Manchester ones.
You have to be happy to mingle.
Wallflowers may as well not bother.
Just to say anxious and neurodivergant people are more than welcome at socials.
Not everyone is comfy out the gate."
I tried to say hello to most people.
|
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"I've been to a couple of Manchester ones.
You have to be happy to mingle.
Wallflowers may as well not bother.
If I remember correctly you were very shy and retiring at the Sussex socials 🤔🤣🤣🤣
And I remember you turned a lot of heads. "
Like in the exorcist 🥳🤣 |
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I think socials are a great way to determine if you are compatible with someone. Not just physical attraction but mental attraction and connections.
Face to face is always better as there's only so much you can feel via messages and texts. |
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"Getting back to your original poster. I think if you attend more group social events you would integrate very well as your verifications show you enjoy a chat. Building up connections via such social events will get you noticed and maybe invites to house parties etc, where there's no pressure on anyone to play but more importantly its to create a positive atmosphere, which you would certainly contribute towards.
Mrs"
I’ve got a social in few weeks but it’s not local to me and I will not expect any fun |
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"I've been to a couple of Manchester ones.
You have to be happy to mingle.
Wallflowers may as well not bother.
If I remember correctly you were very shy and retiring at the Sussex socials 🤔🤣🤣🤣
And I remember you turned a lot of heads.
Like in the exorcist 🥳🤣"
Like the very attractive lady you are. |
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"I think socials are a great way to determine if you are compatible with someone. Not just physical attraction but mental attraction and connections.
Face to face is always better as there's only so much you can feel via messages and texts."
All I can try and hope |
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"Yes but have no interest from anyone  "
you'll find that most males on Fab get very little interest.... If you're not female or you don't bring a female half with you, then you are among the majority of guys on here, and unless you stand out, it's hard work..... Just keep plugging away, at least you're here making an effort, so you never know 👌🏻 |
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"Yes but have no interest from anyone you'll find that most males on Fab get very little interest.... If you're not female or you don't bring a female half with you, then you are among the majority of guys on here, and unless you stand out, it's hard work..... Just keep plugging away, at least you're here making an effort, so you never know 👌🏻"
I’ve been on here 10+ years. I’m still hopeful for one day in the future my luck will improve |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments "
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay stack |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay
stack"
Plenty of single guys go |
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"Fingers crossed for you pal.
I’ve ignored sex for so many years now paying the price as a virgin
You may not want to use that as a chat up line.
.
On the other hand....."
I don’t have chat up lines and I’ve never chatted up someone |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay
stack
Plenty of single guys go "
Tricky when you work weekends |
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My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country. |
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"My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country."
Problem is I don’t go out as I don’t drink. Also tried all dating apps. I will keep trying |
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"My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country.
Problem is I don’t go out as I don’t drink. Also tried all dating apps. I will keep trying "
You don't have to drink. Just look at what's going on locally. Pop along, meet new people, that sort of thing. |
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"My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country.
Problem is I don’t go out as I don’t drink. Also tried all dating apps. I will keep trying
You don't have to drink. Just look at what's going on locally. Pop along, meet new people, that sort of thing."
Nothing happens locally, I’d have to travel further |
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"My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country.
Problem is I don’t go out as I don’t drink. Also tried all dating apps. I will keep trying
You don't have to drink. Just look at what's going on locally. Pop along, meet new people, that sort of thing.
Nothing happens locally, I’d have to travel further "
You have your location as Carmathen
A quick forum search brought up this.
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/wales/1718983 |
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Have you popped in the Wales forum OP? There are quite a few socials local to you. I can highly recommend Filth Club Swansea as being a really friendly bunch, especially if you are new to socials. |
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I'm a little confused OP
Have you just started to use the forums because you said you are new but then said you've been here 10+ years?
Is there something in your life that you feel confident in? Maybe think of that to give you a boost because you cone across to me as a little unsure.
You had some good advice from the other thread. Did you read it |
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"I'm a little confused OP
Have you just started to use the forums because you said you are new but then said you've been here 10+ years?
Is there something in your life that you feel confident in? Maybe think of that to give you a boost because you cone across to me as a little unsure.
You had some good advice from the other thread. Did you read it"
I’ve been on and off for 10 years with no luck with meets. Thinking of trying socials as they seem to work going from the comments |
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"My advice would be to get off here. Meet people naturally and organically. Or at least maybe try some dating apps. There are also like 'speed dating' type events that are held in lots of locations across the country.
Problem is I don’t go out as I don’t drink. Also tried all dating apps. I will keep trying
You don't have to drink. Just look at what's going on locally. Pop along, meet new people, that sort of thing.
Nothing happens locally, I’d have to travel further
You have your location as Carmathen
A quick forum search brought up this.
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/wales/1718983"
I did look at that but I’m most likely going to be working that weekend |
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"You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
But it's easier to just keep posting a new thread. 🤭"
Or sending DM’s |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested. "
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them. |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them. "
I am starting to think you’re correct. |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them. "
That’s not what I’m expecting at all. Just struggling a lot. I do take everything on board |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them.
That’s not what I’m expecting at all. Just struggling a lot. I do take everything on board "
There is taking it on board and then there is putting it into practice. |
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"You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
But it's easier to just keep posting a new thread. 🤭
Or sending DM’s "
Your so wrong |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them.
That’s not what I’m expecting at all. Just struggling a lot. I do take everything on board
There is taking it on board and then there is putting it into practice."
I will promise u that |
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"You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
But it's easier to just keep posting a new thread. 🤭
Or sending DM’s
Your so wrong "
You literally sent me DM after DM! |
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"You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
But it's easier to just keep posting a new thread. 🤭
Or sending DM’s
Your so wrong
You literally sent me DM after DM! "
No one talks to me on here sorry |
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"You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
But it's easier to just keep posting a new thread. 🤭
Or sending DM’s
Your so wrong
You literally sent me DM after DM! "
I’m so sorry |
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I'm still confused, OP has 3 veris from socials saying how he was a great fit and was chatty and friendly, so he clearly has broken the seal and done a minimum of one and knows the score.
Whats the real issue OP? |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them.
That’s not what I’m expecting at all. Just struggling a lot. I do take everything on board "
Good luck and all the best with your journey on here |
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"I'm still confused, OP has 3 veris from socials saying how he was a great fit and was chatty and friendly, so he clearly has broken the seal and done a minimum of one and knows the score.
Whats the real issue OP?"
Nerves and confidence |
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"Any advice for socials
You’ve been given lots of advice on several threads and I even answered your DM’s. Go back and read everything people have suggested.
Sometimes, I think people just do these threads to get women to DM them.
That’s not what I’m expecting at all. Just struggling a lot. I do take everything on board
Good luck and all the best with your journey on here "
I don’t have a journey |
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"Well this escalated quickly!
On a side note - we've decided socials are the way forward for us. Would love to see some of you at one! "
I’m not up north. I’m just trying to meet people and make friends |
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"I’m so sorry everyone
There's nothing to be sorry for. You're in Wales. Have you tried posting on the Wales forum section to see if there's any social events near where you live?"
Big issue at moment is fitting social around crazy work schedule. There are a few that I can go tom |
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OP. do yourself a favour
Look at the green arrow, (it's by the side of your name in any box that shows your comment if you didn't know)
It lists the threads that you've started or posted in.
Take a look, take some time out to read all the posts, there's been some good but repetitive advice as you ask very similar questions.
You've encountered some people that may be honest but that shouldn't be a reason to close a thread. Maybe learn from it all
Or
Continue as you are and always get blunt feedback |
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It is another way to meet people, but not the panacea to meeting people for sex if you’ve not been successful on the site.
Being ND and an introvert at heart, I’ve had to mask my shyness/insecurities all my life-especially because I’ve worked in customer-facing roles all my career.  so for me socials are hard as I find it extremely difficult to approach people to say hello. I usually wait for people to come to say hello to me. so a bit of a reverse effect than on here, where I am highly successful as I feel much more confident and I can pour my heart and brain out on messages and take things at my pace.
But I still push boundaries and go to socials- have met amazing people there, including my best friend forever and some really hot people to have fun with 😮💨 🔥 would have never met them had I not gone! 💘 |
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"Are socials the key to finding someone?
As someone who organised the Bradford socials, yes they can help, but it's not guaranteed "
Nothing is guaranteed in life. I go to social just to talk and never sex |
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"Are socials the key to finding someone?
As someone who organised the Bradford socials, yes they can help, but it's not guaranteed
Nothing is guaranteed in life. I go to social just to talk and never sex"
Then you already know the answer to your post |
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"It is another way to meet people, but not the panacea to meeting people for sex if you’ve not been successful on the site.
Being ND and an introvert at heart, I’ve had to mask my shyness/insecurities all my life-especially because I’ve worked in customer-facing roles all my career. so for me socials are hard as I find it extremely difficult to approach people to say hello. I usually wait for people to come to say hello to me. so a bit of a reverse effect than on here, where I am highly successful as I feel much more confident and I can pour my heart and brain out on messages and take things at my pace.
But I still push boundaries and go to socials- have met amazing people there, including my best friend forever and some really hot people to have fun with 😮💨 🔥 would have never met them had I not gone! 💘 "
Oh, I never message strangers these days as usually get deleted. Social are my only choice to talk to people |
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"All the advice is good. Just worry that things won’t work out "
OP, nobody can help with your confidence but you. I get that sometimes everything seems very dark and there appears to be no hope, but negative attitude is not going to get you far in life.
Take the advice onboard, decide what events you can get to, and just go? Also, you post on public forum, you can't get offended when some people post comments you don't like. |
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"It is another way to meet people, but not the panacea to meeting people for sex if you’ve not been successful on the site.
Being ND and an introvert at heart, I’ve had to mask my shyness/insecurities all my life-especially because I’ve worked in customer-facing roles all my career. so for me socials are hard as I find it extremely difficult to approach people to say hello. I usually wait for people to come to say hello to me. so a bit of a reverse effect than on here, where I am highly successful as I feel much more confident and I can pour my heart and brain out on messages and take things at my pace.
But I still push boundaries and go to socials- have met amazing people there, including my best friend forever and some really hot people to have fun with 😮💨 🔥 would have never met them had I not gone! 💘
Oh, I never message strangers these days as usually get deleted. Social are my only choice to talk to people "
Well, get going then. Message the hosts and tell them it is your first social. The first socials I attended the hostesses made a point of introducing me to everyone and that was so good… it really helped my confidence. I thonk nowadays it’s more of a “upon request”basis as I think there are more people attending but if you ask they’ll be happy to. |
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"All the advice is good. Just worry that things won’t work out
OP, nobody can help with your confidence but you. I get that sometimes everything seems very dark and there appears to be no hope, but negative attitude is not going to get you far in life.
Take the advice onboard, decide what events you can get to, and just go? Also, you post on public forum, you can't get offended when some people post comments you don't like."
Difficult to find events suitable for me |
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"Are socials the key to finding someone?"
Socials are a great way of getting out of the house, chatting to other open-minded sexy people and making life better generally.
You may click, share details etc. it’s a chance for your real personality to shine and be taken at face value not judged by profile cock pics. For guys , couples, single women starting out in the scene or have not had any success with Fab messages, socials and clubs are key |
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"Are socials the key to finding someone?
Socials are a great way of getting out of the house, chatting to other open-minded sexy people and making life better generally.
You may click, share details etc. it’s a chance for your real personality to shine and be taken at face value not judged by profile cock pics. For guys , couples, single women starting out in the scene or have not had any success with Fab messages, socials and clubs are key"
Very helpful |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay
stack
Plenty of single guys go
Tricky when you work weekends "
I worked weekends. I booked one weekend off a month to go to a swingers club.
I also live in London, so there is a swinger event here every night of the week.
Once the regulars at clubs get to know you, it will be easier to have sexual play. |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay
stack
Plenty of single guys go
Tricky when you work weekends
I worked weekends. I booked one weekend off a month to go to a swingers club.
I also live in London, so there is a swinger event here every night of the week.
Once the regulars at clubs get to know you, it will be easier to have sexual play."
My local club is 70-100 miles away. So takes a lot of planning . I’ve booked weekends till October
|
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"All the advice is good. Just worry that things won’t work out
OP, nobody can help with your confidence but you. I get that sometimes everything seems very dark and there appears to be no hope, but negative attitude is not going to get you far in life.
Take the advice onboard, decide what events you can get to, and just go? Also, you post on public forum, you can't get offended when some people post comments you don't like.
Difficult to find events suitable for me"
Why are events not suitable for you?
Too far away?
Disability?
Too expensive?
I rotate between my 3 nearest clubs and once I got to meet people, I went with them to clubs further away.
I'm neurodivergent and I have some perimenopausal symptoms that makes travelling alone scary. I teased one of my playmates and told him he's my carer. Lol! But he knows how to look after me and he's put me in the recovery position before.
I'm on a low income, and many of my playmates are not well-off, but we tend to split the bills on things if we need to.
I've been to clubs and events with many people with physical seen and hidden disabilities and we all just find support and community. It's a bit like where there's a will there's a way.
You might have to put more effort into this lifestyle than you are currently but that doesn't mean that you have to completely give up all your other solo hobbies forever.
Hope that helps.
Sidenote, if you are not that interested in pursuing sex, have you ever thought that you might be asexual or aromantic? It's more common than people think. |
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"All the advice is good. Just worry that things won’t work out
OP, nobody can help with your confidence but you. I get that sometimes everything seems very dark and there appears to be no hope, but negative attitude is not going to get you far in life.
Take the advice onboard, decide what events you can get to, and just go? Also, you post on public forum, you can't get offended when some people post comments you don't like.
Difficult to find events suitable for me
Why are events not suitable for you?
Too far away?
Disability?
Too expensive?
I rotate between my 3 nearest clubs and once I got to meet people, I went with them to clubs further away.
I'm neurodivergent and I have some perimenopausal symptoms that makes travelling alone scary. I teased one of my playmates and told him he's my carer. Lol! But he knows how to look after me and he's put me in the recovery position before.
I'm on a low income, and many of my playmates are not well-off, but we tend to split the bills on things if we need to.
I've been to clubs and events with many people with physical seen and hidden disabilities and we all just find support and community. It's a bit like where there's a will there's a way.
You might have to put more effort into this lifestyle than you are currently but that doesn't mean that you have to completely give up all your other solo hobbies forever.
Hope that helps.
Sidenote, if you are not that interested in pursuing sex, have you ever thought that you might be asexual or aromantic? It's more common than people think."
Emphasis on fun at some events. I have to travel to clubs as there are no local clubs near me. Usually by train as currently not allowed to drive. I do struggle a lot with walking. When I go to a club, I’d have to book a hotel due to it being far way |
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"We've just started going to group socials and they are really good fun and i think they are alot easier than 1-1 socials or us as a couple meeting one other person no awkward moments
It seems easier for couples on here. I’m like a needle in a hay
stack
Plenty of single guys go
Tricky when you work weekends
I worked weekends. I booked one weekend off a month to go to a swingers club.
I also live in London, so there is a swinger event here every night of the week.
Once the regulars at clubs get to know you, it will be easier to have sexual play.
My local club is 70-100 miles away. So takes a lot of planning. I’ve booked weekends till October
"
I've been going to the same club now for 2.5 years. It's not easy to get to but I go once a month for the social. Others come from that far away too and they book hotels and take taxis or drive. 2 or 3 hours just to attend and then 2 or 3 hours driving back after!! I've met people in London who have come from Glasgow, Leeds and Newcastle just for one social, event or club night. I'm sure they don't do it every weekend but once enough is enough and you end up meeting the same people even if it's only once a month.
Most of the time, we (the regulars) just lounge around and chat. |
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"All the advice is good. Just worry that things won’t work out
OP, nobody can help with your confidence but you. I get that sometimes everything seems very dark and there appears to be no hope, but negative attitude is not going to get you far in life.
Take the advice onboard, decide what events you can get to, and just go? Also, you post on public forum, you can't get offended when some people post comments you don't like.
Difficult to find events suitable for me
Why are events not suitable for you?
Too far away?
Disability?
Too expensive?
I rotate between my 3 nearest clubs and once I got to meet people, I went with them to clubs further away.
I'm neurodivergent and I have some perimenopausal symptoms that makes travelling alone scary. I teased one of my playmates and told him he's my carer. Lol! But he knows how to look after me and he's put me in the recovery position before.
I'm on a low income, and many of my playmates are not well-off, but we tend to split the bills on things if we need to.
I've been to clubs and events with many people with physical seen and hidden disabilities and we all just find support and community. It's a bit like where there's a will there's a way.
You might have to put more effort into this lifestyle than you are currently but that doesn't mean that you have to completely give up all your other solo hobbies forever.
Hope that helps.
Sidenote, if you are not that interested in pursuing sex, have you ever thought that you might be asexual or aromantic? It's more common than people think.
Emphasis on fun at some events. I have to travel to clubs as there are no local clubs near me. Usually by train as currently not allowed to drive. I do struggle a lot with walking. When I go to a club, I’d have to book a hotel due to it being far way"
Sex won't come right away, especially as a virgin. I joined after 2 years of celibacy, a low libido and struggling to connect to my body and others.
My first time attending clubs, I didn't have sex because I wasn't confident enough and I think people can tell when you are not relaxed and not confident so they won't want to have sex with you if that is the case.
I can't advise anyone to jump in the deep end in this lifestyle because you need a certain level of social, physical and psychological skills to cope with it all.
Quite a few clubs have gloryholes but I'm not sure how that would work with your mobility.
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Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one. |
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"Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one."
How come you got blocked? We all are just trying to help him by giving him tips. |
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"Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one."
Did I , did by mistake |
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"Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one."
Reason why I don't use my phone for this. Lol! I speed type on a computer and I press the wrong buttons all the time on my phone. Lol!
I'm autistic and I can't even stand my therapy on my phone. I hate the phone interface...or rather, my brain doesn't like it. |
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"Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one.
Reason why I don't use my phone for this. Lol! I speed type on a computer and I press the wrong buttons all the time on my phone. Lol!
I'm autistic and I can't even stand my therapy on my phone. I hate the phone interface...or rather, my brain doesn't like it."
Adhd and Asd here as well. |
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"Ok then.
OP took it upon himself to message us and then block us mid conversation for whatever reason.
OP you aren't helping yourself and I hope you took the friendly advice that we offered to you.
Have a good one."
I had him message me a lot, I ended up having to block him as he clearly wasn’t taking the advice he was given and was asking the same thing over and over. I was genuinely trying to help but there is only so many time I can say the same thing. |
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I hope you find this post very helpful OP
As there has been a lot of really great advice shared. Swinging isn’t easy or for everyone but by taking the advice you have been given here it might help you. Just remember that this is not a guaranteed way of getting sexual with anyone.
I do wish you luck |
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"I hope you find this post very helpful OP
As there has been a lot of really great advice shared. Swinging isn’t easy or for everyone but by taking the advice you have been given here it might help you. Just remember that this is not a guaranteed way of getting sexual with anyone.
I do wish you luck "
We echo this sentiment, we really do OP |
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"I hope you find this post very helpful OP
As there has been a lot of really great advice shared. Swinging isn’t easy or for everyone but by taking the advice you have been given here it might help you. Just remember that this is not a guaranteed way of getting sexual with anyone.
I do wish you luck
We echo this sentiment, we really do OP"
I’m not ignoring just find it hard to put advice into action |
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