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How comfortable are you saying "no"??
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Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?
Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. |
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Depends on the context. I used to really struggle as I hate being mean to people who don't deserve it. I hate break ups etc. But if it's a case of advocating for myself and saying no, I've got much better at that. |
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I'm terrible at it. Running my own business was a disaster. I ended up working into the early hours way too often. Glad I ditched that. But still I'm a soft touch, get screwed over at work. Did again this morning! And every time. People seem to know what to say to make me give in...😡
Not just at work I'd say 🙈 |
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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It's situational; the more I care about someone, the nicer they are the trickier I find it. If someone has been a bit of a dick or I don't really know them/care for them it's a lot easier. I'm getting better at it. |
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Used to be a people pleaser but eventually realised I was doing everything for everyone for nothing, started saying no or not offering to help, not loan tools, not do jobs that I didn't want to do.
Its an easier life now, some people just take take take. |
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I very much used to be a people pleaser, but once I realised - through personal experience - how much people take advantage of that, it's become very easy to say No (often with a silent 'fuck off' to follow up) |
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"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?
Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "
Same here used to find it difficult to say no, but there are so many idiots I come across doing my job its second nature to say no now more than yes, think it’s my age filter kicking in |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Used to be awful at it, particularly at work as people knew they could rely on me to get things done, but slowly realised I wasn’t thought any more of and it was affecting my work life balance more and more. Learned to keep my mouth shut.
I’ve learned to say no to friends in more creative ways but with the honesty they deserve |
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"I'm terrible at it. Running my own business was a disaster. I ended up working into the early hours way too often. Glad I ditched that. But still I'm a soft touch, get screwed over at work. Did again this morning! And every time. People seem to know what to say to make me give in...😡
Not just at work I'd say 🙈"
They're taking advantage of your good nature, you need to learn to fight your own corner, no one will do it for you. My ex wife had the same issue.
It helps if you try to learn the necessary skills to defend yourself verbally. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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After a lifetime of being a people pleaser, I now find it easy to say no. If someone feels a certain way if I say no to them, im okay with them sitting in that uncomfortably because if I say no, its with good reason. |
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"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?
Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "
It very much depends who or what I'm saying no to , I've always been a bit of a push over but I'm slowly learning to say no.. it's only taken almost half a century 🤣🤣 |
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"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?
Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "
I'm much more comfortable now.
I think going through a major operation a few years ago, I soon learnt. I couldn't and still can't do things that I used to, so at first it was tricky saying no (I am a people pleaser) especially to friends and family. But I soon got used to it. Now I can do it easier, but depending on what it is, I still angst over it before giving my answer. |
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I have no qualms in saying no. I try to be polite and courteous but I prefer clarity over skirting around something. I have no issues with someone saying no to me either if that is the best option/decision. |
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People on here are just weird, everyone acts like it's normal it is not a of men just actin how they want. No one will say anything i wonder why 🤔🤔🤔😗🤪🤪🤪🤪 i mean we all know why? Shit ill watch l say before I get banned 🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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"People on here are just weird, everyone acts like it's normal it is not a of men just actin how they want. No one will say anything i wonder why 🤔🤔🤔😗🤪🤪🤪🤪 i mean we all know why? Shit ill watch l say before I get banned 🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Yeah especially on the forums... I've been on the naughty step several times 🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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I've spent a life time trying to please other people. There's probably a reason for that, that a professional would tell me about.
Since I've been on my own I told myself to be unapologetically me. I'm much better at it now, and also feel happier, more positive and more empowered. |
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I’m better at saying no in a work situation, but in my personal life I’m not great.
Having said that, it’s good to help others and you never know how much courage it’s taken for them to ask, so I respect that. Being taken advantage of stinks though  |
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"As I've gotten older I have found it easier to day no to something I don't want to do. When I was younger I found it difficult and people took advantage of that. "
It is sadly the world we live in especially with people taking advantage. |
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"I’m a massive soft touch. Any time I try to say no to something, I’ll feel so guilty I’ll twist myself in knots and have to force myself not to go back and say “actually… that’s ok…” "
Is this for work or just in general? |
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"I’m a massive soft touch. Any time I try to say no to something, I’ll feel so guilty I’ll twist myself in knots and have to force myself not to go back and say “actually… that’s ok…”
Is this for work or just in general?"
In general. I’m better at saying No at work than I am in my personal life. |
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very comferble in saying it and reciving i dont understand people who cant say it or recieve it ..
this is a scene where you do things for you/and partner you seek those that fit you and what you want consent is everything no is no yet i know a few who feel they cant say no and instantl regret swinging is a jigsaw where most pieces dont fit ... |
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"very comferble in saying it and reciving i dont understand people who cant say it or recieve it ..
this is a scene where you do things for you/and partner you seek those that fit you and what you want consent is everything no is no yet i know a few who feel they cant say no and instantl regret swinging is a jigsaw where most pieces dont fit ..."
100% |
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"Do you find it easy to say no? "
Far easier than some people seem willing to accept that "no" is actually an answer.
Which is why "no" often ends up being followed by "fuck off" or something broadly similar. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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It really depends on the circumstances and who’s asking and why?
But in general, those two letters NO are incredibly powerful. I think as you get older, it’s easier to say no . As one lady pointed out when you work within a company is often very difficult because one needs to be seen to be doing sometimes more than your fair share…. For a number of reasons.
In relationships, it can be very difficult
Generally, I find it easy to say no but what’s important is sticking to it - especially with children!  |
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By *asha86Couple 37 weeks ago
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I used to be a constant people pleaser but realised it was to the detriment of my own happiness so have started saying no and realising it's their problem not mine if they're not happy with that response xT |
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