We struggle with the time and opportunity for this lifestyle. Especially arranging individual meets. We get winks and messages from people/couples we would be intrested in but don't want to start something we can't keep up with or see to the end anytime soon.
We don't want to put people we've intrested in off us or burn bridges but we don't want to lead people down the garden path (metaphorically speaking anyways  ). So genrally we just don't engage or wink back.
Anyone find a similar situation? How do you deal with it? How do show mutual intrest at the same time as saying we're just not in a position to progress this?
Or from the other angle how would you perceive someone not winking back or messaging back? How would you prefer they handled it if they didn't have the time to engage but liked what they saw in your profile? |
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If you don’t have the time for it, then why bother being here?
You could just put on your profile temporarily not meeting.
We reply positively to people that wink or messages as if we like the look of them but we don’t start talking about meeting until the time is right, just read the room often we wanna know about them and what they are like before we would consider meeting.
Single man are the worst first messages often talking about meeting before they’ve even said hello or told us about themselves. Hardly ever replied to them, they could be great, but they are doing it all wrong. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 37 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
Just be honest with them…
As suggested you can put on your profile that you’re not currently meeting others due to real life commitments.
When you do message then just let them know that while you’re happy to chat you don’t expect to have the free time to meet right now… you can give them a rough timescale if you know one or just let them know you’re not sure when things might change.
The ball is in their court then as to whether they want to continue to engage with you or not.
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Make it clear on your profile that you're not currently seeking, and don't feel obliged to respond to every person who ignores that.
People will tell you you're rude for just not saying what they want to hear. Don't let it bother you 💜 |
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If you can’t meet for a while then just tell people. Everyone has a life in the real world and it is not unreasonable to say “We would love to meet but XYZ is happening and can we watch up in a month or so?”
The hard part is always then remembering to reach back out! |
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We have had more interaction since saying that we're not currently meeting. People saying to keep them in mind for the future or just wanting to chat.
Be honest. Tell people you would love to meet them in future and perhaps friend them and make a point of checking in bi monthly or something.
There's more than one way of doing this swinging lark |
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