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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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I have spoken about this before not long ago.... yes i do Sometimes and it's awful.... luckily good at getting myself out of that mind set quickly though.
How about you op? |
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By *oydykeTV/TS 32 weeks ago
Hampshire (they/them) |
Yes! I often feel very very lonely. But I spend my days doing crafts or working or reading and it feels a little less lonely. The books I read help me feel less lonely, like I’m part of their world. |
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Not at all but saying that maybe one time a long time ago
I do things differently, I don’t waste money on crap or stuff, I save it to do great things that I enjoy.
Lots of travelling, new hobbies, meeting new people in as many countries as I can
This world is massive and I not scared to do it alone as I do most of the time |
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It's normal to feel lonely sometimes. Keep yourself busy. Find activities that make you happy, try to socialise if you can. I work out and explore the city.
Remember, you are not alone. If you need help there are plenty of charities you can call. The community on here seems pretty decent too. Be kind to yourself. Positive self-talk. |
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The only time I ever speak to other people is at work or the petrol station. I spend every Christmas and birthday alone. Need to learn to be happy alone because if you rely on others to be happy then you won't be happy with a specific other just their company if that makes sense |
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Sorry to hear you feeling a bit lonely fella , no consolation in saying this but i think everybody gets that at some stage ... focus on things that interest you give you a purpose.. and are a feel good factor to you i know that's easy for me to say. Give it a go small steps dont stop moving forward |
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By *aven RedWoman 21 weeks ago
who knows, but it's not raining x |
Sometimes yes. I think it's hard not to when you live alone. My dog keeps me sane. At least when I'm talking to the TV I can say it's to the dog and can hold off on the neighbours thinking I'm crazy for a little bit longer. I think we are social creatures so need some human contact now and again x |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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I’ve always been a shy /introvert type if I’m in a group where I don’t know people and struggle to start conversations and am far happier when people talk first.
Once I’ve made friends it’s different and I open up..
Since splitting up 6 years ago I’ve been single and being older my friendship group from school with who I partied with during teenage and 20s and now married for the first/second time and settled in middle age, so it’s rare that we meet up or even text ..
For me I felt that I was beneath them as they have their heads on and knew that in life it wasn’t going to be the same as our 20s
Whereas I kept on partying if possible with other people..
I message a few friends I met from jobs and go out once a month with an old friend of 30+ years and chat weekly with a mate I met at work but we never go out socialising.
So the only people I speak with are my son and parents and work colleagues.. I’m in a new job and it involves sharing a car and working with that person for a week and then a different person the next week…
The job involves a certain amount of interaction with people and I’ve found it has helped me to be more positive and i don’t have the time I had in previous jobs to dwell and ruminate over things.
I would say that I am lonely on certain levels but I’m okay with it because that’s what I’ve always been like…
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"I go through it in phases
video games keep me occupied, going to work and chatting to people about anything is good
But then there’s the days I feel lonely and just have to get through it"
So true…
As a fairly miserable person and my jobs never helped as I wasn’t doing what I wanted or at least made my day bearable … I would walk around with a face like thunder if someone/thing annoyed me but would change if chatting with someone I liked..
But what I’ve never understood about people, are the people who appear happy all the time and full of life..
Also I think about people who have learning difficulties and how they go through life without worrying and being overwhelmed by their thoughts…
I’ve asked people if they would rather be like those people and somehow just be happy in life without stress of work/family..
What is going through their head all day long?
It’s not the same thoughts that I’ve experienced in my life and become totally distraught over it and taking extreme action to get peace in my mind |
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By *aven RedWoman 21 weeks ago
who knows, but it's not raining x |
"I go through it in phases
video games keep me occupied, going to work and chatting to people about anything is good
But then there’s the days I feel lonely and just have to get through it
So true…
As a fairly miserable person and my jobs never helped as I wasn’t doing what I wanted or at least made my day bearable … I would walk around with a face like thunder if someone/thing annoyed me but would change if chatting with someone I liked..
But what I’ve never understood about people, are the people who appear happy all the time and full of life..
Also I think about people who have learning difficulties and how they go through life without worrying and being overwhelmed by their thoughts…
I’ve asked people if they would rather be like those people and somehow just be happy in life without stress of work/family..
What is going through their head all day long?
It’s not the same thoughts that I’ve experienced in my life and become totally distraught over it and taking extreme action to get peace in my mind "
Sometimes the ones who look or act the happiest are the saddest or lonliest. Fake it till you make it x 🤷♀️ |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Yes but how do they stay happy in front of people? It’s gotta be so hard if they are unhappy?
We are all a variety of people mental wellbeing, and most of my friends from school are what I call normal people… and whilst they have been through difficult situations they are still able to function..
In my various shitty jobs the range of people is limited by their mental capacity and so I believe that I’m better than them!! Even though I’m in the same job😦
But I know that I am in the wrong place and will never be happy, whereas they are perfectly fine in life…
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Yes fairly often
I would say I'm have connection but not deep.
I left a almost 7 yr relationship where I constantly felt lonely this yr, instantly that feeling left.
The problem is I have very shallow connections around me and a small grp of friendships that I don't feel dont know me very well which feeds my loneliness. I do things solo but it would be nice to find my tribe
I've been single for 6 months, I have a FWB but I need to find better for myself or maybe it's being content but I still feel lonely lol |
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"I go through it in phases
video games keep me occupied, going to work and chatting to people about anything is good
But then there’s the days I feel lonely and just have to get through it
So true…
As a fairly miserable person and my jobs never helped as I wasn’t doing what I wanted or at least made my day bearable … I would walk around with a face like thunder if someone/thing annoyed me but would change if chatting with someone I liked..
But what I’ve never understood about people, are the people who appear happy all the time and full of life..
Also I think about people who have learning difficulties and how they go through life without worrying and being overwhelmed by their thoughts…
I’ve asked people if they would rather be like those people and somehow just be happy in life without stress of work/family..
What is going through their head all day long?
It’s not the same thoughts that I’ve experienced in my life and become totally distraught over it and taking extreme action to get peace in my mind
Sometimes the ones who look or act the happiest are the saddest or lonliest. Fake it till you make it x 🤷♀️"
So true about the happiest are sometimes the loneliest, put you're mask on in public |
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There is no trick to getting out of this, often what your brain will do is find comfort in things which ultimately are not rewarding thus compounding the problem so you need to spot those and avoid, needy people will drain you whilst tricking you into believing they are valuable to you, after all they stop you being lonely.
I know it sounds cliche but do things for you, get yourself out in nature, it will heal you, even if the weather is against you being out in it is what it is to be human
Also cliched is exercise, as that asks alot of internal questions and that’s where the loneliness lives, inside of you so rather than trying to wrestle with it just give it a different set of questions
Oh and write stuff down, good or bad, just let it flow into the page, I don’t look back on my journals but what I do know is when you write stuff down things start to happen |
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I do get lonely, my family live 400 miles from me, I have one or two good friends and my FWB. My FWB works off shore for 3 weeks at a time, so that time can be the loneliest for me. I do try to remain positive, however that can be difficult.
I do enjoy my own company most of the time and I am able to keep myself content. Loneliest still creeps in when I least expect it. Hugs OP 🫂 |
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