FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Mental Breakdowns
Mental Breakdowns
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"Right this is probably a way to totally drag everyone down on a Sunday night. But fuck it I can't be the only one feeling or experiencing this on here. Essentially I had a complete breakdown 6 weeks ago, and trying somehow to rebuild and get going again. Caused by a number of things Essentially how others see me in a physical sense, crap job and being totally invisible at times being just a few. Tried the apps, exercise, reading but probably the only thing I've not done is speak about it which is what I probably need more than anything. Totally ruined my evening fun with myself too unsurprisingly as if the rest wasn't bad enough haha! If anyone out there can relate then I feel for you so much as its been the darkest 6 weeks I've ever experienced " NHS have a talking therapy service. It's basically CBT and mostly phone or video based sessions. You can self refer. The waiting list depends where you live but average around six weeks Google NHS talking therapies. It's not easy to reach out but you have taken the first step already by typing that out x | |||
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"Right this is probably a way to totally drag everyone down on a Sunday night. But fuck it I can't be the only one feeling or experiencing this on here. Essentially I had a complete breakdown 6 weeks ago, and trying somehow to rebuild and get going again. Caused by a number of things Essentially how others see me in a physical sense, crap job and being totally invisible at times being just a few. Tried the apps, exercise, reading but probably the only thing I've not done is speak about it which is what I probably need more than anything. Totally ruined my evening fun with myself too unsurprisingly as if the rest wasn't bad enough haha! If anyone out there can relate then I feel for you so much as its been the darkest 6 weeks I've ever experienced " I use BetterHelp for a therapist and one support group once a week online. What really saved my ass and continues to save my ass is going and doing group activities outside....in person!! Stop doing shit alone....that includes, sex, porn, wanking, reading, exercising, For the love of OuR Lord God Jesus Christ (I'm spiritual) and the Powers That Be get off the f-ing apps. Being Chronically online is a sure-fire way to fuck your central nervous system up, your physical health and your psychological health. You like sex? Go to a swinger club or join a sex work shop or pay a sex worker or go get a happy ending massage at least 1-4 times a month. One of my friends comes to the swingers club and has a quiet wank while watching couples at an appropriate distance. ( unless I corner him) He gets out and socialises and gets to relax with people who like him, just as a person not a sex object. You like reading? Join a book club that meets in person or go to one of those cool spoken word places with writers. You like exercising? I joined a woman's football group, a women's menopause group and I see a personal trainer outside in all weathers twice a month. During the pandemic, the isolation was so bad I saw my outdoor trainer twice a week outside in the snow during the second lockdown!! One of my poly partners go to a triathlon group every week. They swim, run and cycle together all year round. I'm currently unemployed but I'm learning rope bondage and hope to transfer that into becoming a body worker for men who clearly spend too much time on their own and in their own head and never get touched. It's not easy. I've fallen off the wagon this weekend due to perimenopausal uterine problems but tomorrow I'm going to my NHS mental health support group in person and my rope group in person! The last time I went to see the rope group in the pub, one of the trans women, massaged my tense shoulders, arms and hands. It was very nice, intimate and non-sexual. I'm neurodivergent and spend far too much time in my own head so I often actual have to go and socialise for my own good. 3 days indoors, not talking to, touching or seeing anyone and I get cabin fever....cabin fever is the beginning of a mental health crisis for me. Please do not do this alone, especially if you have had a breakdown. My breakdowns ended up with me on section in a secure psychiatric ward so I had to figure out how to nip that in the bud before it ever get to that level again. | |||
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"It's alright bruv... We're men our job is to keep moving forward no matter what... I truly respect your honesty and the courage it took to speak up... You're a real one. Wishing you the best of luck... and strength for the battles you can’t talk about.... " I'd prefer if men stopped thinking that it was their job to keep moving forward no matter what. It's harmful in a multitude of ways. No only to men themselves but to all those around them. AS others have said... 1. GP. 2. Andy's club https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ 3.C.A.L.M. https://www.thecalmzone.net/ Campaign Against Living Miserably. 4. https://www.bupa.co.uk/business/health-horizons/tackling-the-crisis-in-mens-mental-health 5. https://uk.movember.com/mens-health/mental-health - Movember is coming up. There will be lot of men's events and men-only events! And many will be free! 6. https://mentalhealth-uk.org/mens-mental-health/ Absolutely do not bottle it up, stuff it down, suppress it and/or repress it. | |||
"I feel you bud. Felt like you for over a year and not been able to enjoy anything I like. I've pretty much totally given up with everything and everyone. But wish you well and good luck rebuilding yourself. " Oh dear. That's very sad to hear! And you live near some of the best swinger clubs in the UK!! | |||
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"Firstly, I’m sorry to hear you feel like that, but well done for reaching out on here and being open. There isn’t an Andy’s Man club in Moray as far as I’m aware. There is Moray Men Talk based in Elgin, and Mikeysline is based in Inverness but have a base in Elgin. There are also national groups such as SAMH, Breathing Space. I help run a support group in Ellon, I know it’s not 5 minutes away, but you’d be made very welcome. Please reach out and speak to someone. Just getting your fears and concerns out of your head can make such a difference. I’m not sure whether I’m allowed to post links to the websites for the groups above - drop me a message if you’d like them. Remember. It’s ok not to be ok. You’re not alone " Wow! Thanks for this! And running a men's group. Women have groups, LGBTQIA people have groups. Men should have men's groups to go to!! Even on the kink scene we have groups to go to for support!! Hell my local leisure centre started a menopause group because we feel like we are losing our minds! I advocate for no one to do this tough stuff alone. | |||
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"Right this is probably a way to totally drag everyone down on a Sunday night. But fuck it I can't be the only one feeling or experiencing this on here. Essentially I had a complete breakdown 6 weeks ago, and trying somehow to rebuild and get going again. Caused by a number of things Essentially how others see me in a physical sense, crap job and being totally invisible at times being just a few. Tried the apps, exercise, reading but probably the only thing I've not done is speak about it which is what I probably need more than anything. Totally ruined my evening fun with myself too unsurprisingly as if the rest wasn't bad enough haha! If anyone out there can relate then I feel for you so much as its been the darkest 6 weeks I've ever experienced NHS have a talking therapy service. It's basically CBT and mostly phone or video based sessions. You can self refer. The waiting list depends where you live but average around six weeks Google NHS talking therapies. It's not easy to reach out but you have taken the first step already by typing that out x" Yup first step acknowledging that there's a problem. I had to do that with my low libido. I'm not quite ready to pack up my sexuality in my 40s!! Not when 70-year-olds are running around having fun!!   | |||
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"Talk to your GP. Take any therapy offered. There are a huge amount of recourses out there. Personally, meds are a life vest. They help you keep your head above water. But you need to be able to swim back to shore. Sadly no-one can do that for you. Someone mentioned Andy Man’s club (they are great), there is also Man Down. Reach out. You aren’t alone. " Just Googled "Man Down" looks good and there's one group in Inverness if OP can travel. | |||
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"Absolutely blown away by the responses and replies here. Can't thank everyone enough and I've definitely found some good and new advice that I've badly needed. The loneliness has really driven me mad. The few things I enjoyed like writing, reading, listening to music have all stopped but I'm doing all I can to get these back and going. Anyone out there ever needs someone to speak with I'm only ever a message away. Sure I'm definitely nothing worth looking at but one thing I know for sure is that I'm a great listener " You are welcome to the resources here and other places. Now as for nothing to look at: 1. You have chest hair that I'd like to rub my pussy on. 2. You have thick thighs that I'd like to rub my thick thighs on. That's quite a lot for me to look at and wank over.
P.S There is a Rope kink group in Glasgow and I find rope people to be a lovely caring bunch because we are dealing with people's bodies and touching them. We love all bodies. | |||
"When I'm in a bad place, I find it takes me some time to warm up to things like reading again. It's worth persisting." Since I'm bat shit bonkers ( and perimenopausal) when I'm in a bad place it's : " Red Alert, All hands to battle stations, lay in a course, engage warp nine" Yes I was a Trekky as a kid. I need a short, sharp shock to snap out of it otherwise I can slip too far down....and...then I get sectioned...oops. Lol! Having a nice Commander Riker-type to help me snap out of it helps a lot too. Lol! Definitely had the hots for him as a teen. Maybe that's where my beard fetish comes from...and Sean Connery ( with white beard). | |||
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"Sorry to hear that OP. I had a breakdown when I was 20 and it was due to my job. I got signed off and then handed my notice in while I was on sick leave and never looked back. I worked with animals and the animals were suffering. Keep good habits in your day-to-day and week-to-week routine. Try and be self-aware. Reach out and get support where you can and know that things will get better and if they don't, medication might be helpful as well. Lot's of people can relate 🥰" Oh my....I hate when that happens to young people. Glad you got out of it. Just had to make my last job fire me. DWP are actually supportive that it wasn't right for me. Think I'm going self employed. I think the DWP will help me set up as a massage therapist. ( they don't need to know if I give a happy ending Lol!) | |||
"Highly recommend Andy’s Club if there’s one in your area. Consider your getting help from your GP and an Employee Assistance Provider if your work has one. " 👍🏻👌🏻Yep they're good starting points, and really helpful too,I've used them myself, and can vouch for them | |||
"Bit of a rogue suggestion (pun somewhat intended), but have you thought about playing Dungeons and Dragons? I play with a bunch of blokes in our 30s and 40s, and it is honestly so good for our mental health. Most of them had never played it before, but now we have a great Monday night routine where we can get together and talk about anything. Nothing takes the stress away quite like pummeling some goblins!" I love it! I think I took out my fustrations before by kicking some footballs but now I'm trying a gentler approach with rope. Lol!  I still peddle like a mad woman in London traffic. You have to be slightly nuts to cycle in London anyway. | |||
"So sorry you're experiencing this, OP. I've also had a breakdown in the past and I agree with a previous comment about taking it one step at a time; don't feel rushed to get back to "normal". " I haven't been normal circa 1985....So I think it's overrated... | |||
"Absolutely blown away by the responses and replies here. Can't thank everyone enough and I've definitely found some good and new advice that I've badly needed. The loneliness has really driven me mad. The few things I enjoyed like writing, reading, listening to music have all stopped but I'm doing all I can to get these back and going. Anyone out there ever needs someone to speak with I'm only ever a message away. Sure I'm definitely nothing worth looking at but one thing I know for sure is that I'm a great listener You are welcome to the resources here and other places. Now as for nothing to look at: 1. You have chest hair that I'd like to rub my pussy on. 2. You have thick thighs that I'd like to rub my thick thighs on. That's quite a lot for me to look at and wank over.
P.S There is a Rope kink group in Glasgow and I find rope people to be a lovely caring bunch because we are dealing with people's bodies and touching them. We love all bodies. "Wow there's something I didn't ever think id read! Honestly amazed but thankyou definitely stirred something in me id long since forgotten about | |||
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"Wow there's something I didn't ever think id read! Honestly amazed but thankyou definitely stirred something in me id long since forgotten about " Hurray you are alive! Now we have to just grab life by balls...um not the pussy...I mean if that's their kink..with consent..can't yuk their yum...
Now when my libido disappeared, I thought it was dead but I decided to go find out....the short, sharp, shock way. I went to a nudist/naturist spa, here in London. Well, being surrounded by so much cock in various stages of flaccid, erect, semi-erect, cut, uncut. Big small. definitely stirred something and then I went to a swingers club and very much enjoyed seeing cocks going in other women.
So in my case I think it was a use it or lose it scenario. It might be the same case for you.
Also I don't date. Dating is very trashy nowadays. I'd rather go to a group somewhere and hit it off with people naturally.
But first self-care and seeking mental health professionals and mental health peers. That's a good foundation to have for whatever else swinger life or kink life throws at you. Or vanilla life. | |||
"Highly recommend Andy’s Club if there’s one in your area. Consider your getting help from your GP and an Employee Assistance Provider if your work has one. " 100% find a local Andy’s Mend Club. Also give professional counselling a go👍 | |||
"Right this is probably a way to totally drag everyone down on a Sunday night. But fuck it I can't be the only one feeling or experiencing this on here. Essentially I had a complete breakdown 6 weeks ago, and trying somehow to rebuild and get going again. Caused by a number of things Essentially how others see me in a physical sense, crap job and being totally invisible at times being just a few. Tried the apps, exercise, reading but probably the only thing I've not done is speak about it which is what I probably need more than anything. Totally ruined my evening fun with myself too unsurprisingly as if the rest wasn't bad enough haha! If anyone out there can relate then I feel for you so much as its been the darkest 6 weeks I've ever experienced " Hey mate, hope you're ok👊🏻.I know how you will be feeling, I've been there myself, it's a dark grim place, there's lots of avenues you can go down, but try not to go down too many at once.I think your best starting points are,as advised already, ring your GP,and employee support, they'll get you going,and you'll also be talking too.its great to have people around you, but everyone will give you different pieces of advice, which are all well and good, but you can end up stood in the middle of a circle spinning,not knowing which advice to take,and getting overwhelmed by it, trying to appease everyone. One thing that is a must though is,surround yourself with good people, with positive attitude towards you. If you'd like to chat anytime in private, don't hesitate to DM me,I don't mind letting you in on why I broke down,and how I've managed to get back up again, hopefully it'll give you some sort of positive. Remember one thing though.... there's nothing that can't be sorted, with the right tools,and there is light at the end of the tunnel, just keep walking, you'll find it 💙 | |||
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"Honestly folks I wish there was a like option for comments on posts here. Not sure i could face messaging everyone thats commented as every time I try to speak I end up telling up and breaking down again. What a fantastic group of people you all are. Ive always found it easier if someone gets in touch with me so your welcome to message. Always a slight introvert probably explains alot about my mental and sexual life "Tried messaging you, but your filter is on,so won't let me pal👍🏻 | |||
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