FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is fab for dating or just hookups?
Is fab for dating or just hookups?
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So I’m stuck at home on a Saturday night and as my mind does, I’m wondering….
Do you think fab is a dating site?
I’ll preface this with the last guy I met on fab regularly turned into a 5 year situationship. We used fab as a couple and well here I am again…. Maybe he has a new account but haven’t asked.
Some messages in my inbox have been a bit surprised that I want to know more than how many inches are in their budgue smuggler.
Like I say to many, I’m not interested in meeting with or touching in any way some right wing Tommy/ fuehrer supporter. I’m also not capable of instant panty dropping so there needs to be some to and fro. Does that mean I’m treating it like a dating site? Possibly.
Anyways what’s your opinions peeps?
Entertain me with some discussion on a dreary dull Saturday night. Otherwise I’m going to need to go watch some Wicked.
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I think everyone is looking for something a bit different.
And some people have very strong opinions on what you should or should not be allowed to look for (while asserting that all of their preferences are sacrosanct).
Some people sext here and nothing more. Others get married. Everything in between. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I'm undateable but apparently fuckable.
I can't complain!
"
This is me also 😏 A long term illness turns men off me as a dater. Sex however is a different kettle of fish. |
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Have learnt that for most it is probably neither. Have readjusted expectations and now see it as a place to check through forums, have a laugh and relax. If anything comes from that then great, if not then all is good.
As has already been said, it is many different things to everyone. Best thing for me was realising that
Enjoy! |
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"Why can’t it be both ? We started chatting on fab. Met up at a club and have been in a relationship for 8 years.
Love that! And agree but apparently that’s not the done thing. "
A lot of people here will tell you that the only way is their way, to try to get you to do what they want.
🤷♀️ They can pound sand |
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"is it not a dating site for people looking for sex, i all of it's forms and likes."
Not sure it’s a dating site. In a spectrum of hookups to relationships I’d say it goes:
Fab
Tinder
Plenty of fish
Bumble
Hinge
There’s probably more but less popular. |
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The answer is probably both. No problem with wanting to know a little more even if it’s for a casual hook up. Equally, if it feels right that casual hook up can turn in to a lot more. Doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, it’s what’s right for you and whoever you meet |
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I don't use it for either. I'm not looking for "hook ups" because for me it denotes something that is transient or fleeting, a bonk-and-go arrangement. As for "dating" I think of it as something more solidified between two people, a relationship of sorts, perhaps commitment...
Conversely I use it for 'dates' — the social aspects, a confidante with whom I can do arty things, hang out and engage in sexual trysts. |
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I'm someone who's not interested in casual hookups and swerve all that stuff. But neither am I looking for a trad 24/7 kinda thing. So I fall somewhere in the middle of the dating/relationship spectrum.
In my ideal of an unconventional relationship the sex part is really really key and fab is a site that allows me to discover sexual compatibility right up front.
It's logical and practical and so much more efficient than other ways to find a good match of a person.
Everyone on here uses it in whatever way suits them.
And even if I know I'm not suited to someone I can still have a sexy lil peek and send a jaunty fab or wink and flirt, all cards on the table.
It's a fun place to hang out, if you let yourself enjoy it. |
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L believe it’s for whatever you want it to be and that can also change over time - there are no hard and fast rules though some definitely like to think there are. Usually people who want something different to you and so therefore will tell you you're wrong, you do you and go with your own flow |
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"So I’m stuck at home on a Saturday night and as my mind does, I’m wondering….
Do you think fab is a dating site?
I’ll preface this with the last guy I met on fab regularly turned into a 5 year situationship. We used fab as a couple and well here I am again…. Maybe he has a new account but haven’t asked.
Some messages in my inbox have been a bit surprised that I want to know more than how many inches are in their budgue smuggler.
Like I say to many, I’m not interested in meeting with or touching in any way some right wing Tommy/ fuehrer supporter. I’m also not capable of instant panty dropping so there needs to be some to and fro. Does that mean I’m treating it like a dating site? Possibly.
Anyways what’s your opinions peeps?
Entertain me with some discussion on a dreary dull Saturday night. Otherwise I’m going to need to go watch some Wicked.
"
Neither it’s for swinging |
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"I don't use it for either. I'm not looking for "hook ups" because for me it denotes something that is transient or fleeting, a bonk-and-go arrangement. As for "dating" I think of it as something more solidified between two people, a relationship of sorts, perhaps commitment...
Conversely I use it for 'dates' — the social aspects, a confidante with whom I can do arty things, hang out and engage in sexual trysts."
This is kinda my stance only never thought about the arty things. |
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"I'm someone who's not interested in casual hookups and swerve all that stuff. But neither am I looking for a trad 24/7 kinda thing. So I fall somewhere in the middle of the dating/relationship spectrum.
In my ideal of an unconventional relationship the sex part is really really key and fab is a site that allows me to discover sexual compatibility right up front.
It's logical and practical and so much more efficient than other ways to find a good match of a person.
Everyone on here uses it in whatever way suits them.
And even if I know I'm not suited to someone I can still have a sexy lil peek and send a jaunty fab or wink and flirt, all cards on the table.
It's a fun place to hang out, if you let yourself enjoy it."
Absolutely |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
"
Me too… although somehow banned from tinder lol |
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By *enelope2UWoman 26 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I think it matters on honesty..rare at times to find..
I will never fuck instantly.... regardless of where i met someone sex club included..
Does that mean it is dating NOPE
Some people are so upfront you can have a compatability chemistry in 30
minutes some are so closed off/secretive/shelteted it can be years... |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
Me too… although somehow banned from tinder lol "
Ohhh noooo how come?? |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
"
I've never used a dating app! I'm not adverse to a date though... |
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"I don't use it for either. I'm not looking for "hook ups" because for me it denotes something that is transient or fleeting, a bonk-and-go arrangement. As for "dating" I think of it as something more solidified between two people, a relationship of sorts, perhaps commitment...
Conversely I use it for 'dates' — the social aspects, a confidante with whom I can do arty things, hang out and engage in sexual trysts.
·
This is kinda my stance only never thought about the arty things. "
•
Oh, you know, the leisurely brunches, the long drawn lunches, the clandestine dinners for those relentless sinners, the flirts and 'flirtees', and the afternoon teas, the art galleries, the museums and the cultural emporiums, the cocktail sojourns...all these things that come to the fore. Need I say more? |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
I've never used a dating app! I'm not adverse to a date though..."
If you had to use one. I'd recommend more Hinge than Tinder. Tinder is a waste of time x |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
I've never used a dating app! I'm not adverse to a date though...
If you had to use one. I'd recommend more Hinge than Tinder. Tinder is a waste of time x"
Fair enough... |
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By *andM36Couple 26 weeks ago
Gravesend |
"Why can’t it be both ? We started chatting on fab. Met up at a club and have been in a relationship for 8 years.
Love that! And agree but apparently that’s not the done thing. "
Oops I apologise wholeheartedly  I don’t think either of us were looking for a relationship it just happened. I think if it is made clear what someone is looking for, they will find it eventually. Be it a relationship. A FB. A FWB. Or a one night thing. |
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By *andM36Couple 25 weeks ago
Gravesend |
"Why can’t it be both ? We started chatting on fab. Met up at a club and have been in a relationship for 8 years.
Yay, that's awesome! We met on here too, over 6 years ago  "
Congratulations. Another success story. |
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I think if you're clear about what you want then you've more chance of finding it. Personally I find dating apps dire. Can't stand the swipey nature of them. I'm open to dating but not keen on heavy commitment relationships. But some are. I feel that this type of site it is much easier to navigate and tends to cut out some of the bullshit. Personally. |
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By *onx89Man 25 weeks ago
North West |
For me it was hook ups and FWB. I joied years ago thinking I'm too busy for a relationship now, this should be causal and openminded, however I found out that some will say one thing and act differently later, although I was clear from the begninning that I am not looking for a relationship.
You connect with some great minds on here, only to be shouted at and blocked if I logged in a didnt message them, seriously wtf 💀
That aside, I have been blessed with some nice people on here, so mature minded and know what they want with no drama  |
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"I don't use it for either. I'm not looking for "hook ups" because for me it denotes something that is transient or fleeting, a bonk-and-go arrangement. As for "dating" I think of it as something more solidified between two people, a relationship of sorts, perhaps commitment...
Conversely I use it for 'dates' — the social aspects, a confidante with whom I can do arty things, hang out and engage in sexual trysts.
·
This is kinda my stance only never thought about the arty things.
•
Oh, you know, the leisurely brunches, the long drawn lunches, the clandestine dinners for those relentless sinners, the flirts and 'flirtees', and the afternoon teas, the art galleries, the museums and the cultural emporiums, the cocktail sojourns...all these things that come to the fore. Need I say more?"
You found art gallery buddies on fab? Darn I’ve been missing out! |
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"Fab is whatever you want it to be. I am open to dating however. I will say this though, I've had more success on here than I ever did on Hinge or Tinder.
Me too… although somehow banned from tinder lol
Ohhh noooo how come?? "
No idea but think it was a jilted rejectee… |
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Fundamentally it's for swinging, which as a term started off being couples-focussed. Since couples are already, well, coupled, the emphasis is on casual hookups.
With singles in the mix, I don't think the nature of that changes. |
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My intentions are to get to know people and eventually find either a couple or a single person to be more intimate with every now and again as i don't the idea of it just being a ONS and the whole "now" mentality of a meeting as i prefer to have a social meeting and get to know them |
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By *ANiCURETV/TS 25 weeks ago
Winchester |
I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough? |
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By *sWyldWoman 25 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?"
I don't think thats it at all (maybe sometimes) but I'd assume its much more about shared experiences. An additional twist |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?"
I'm not in a couple, but if I was I would get off on watching him being with other women. I guess lots like to share experiences.
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By *ANiCURETV/TS 25 weeks ago
Winchester |
"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?
I'm not in a couple, but if I was I would get off on watching him being with other women. I guess lots like to share experiences.
"
But you can share experiences with an fwb too. They not like an average new couple on here who signed up together, they been here for years separately b4 the relationship, they know the rules. |
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By *sWyldWoman 25 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?
I'm not in a couple, but if I was I would get off on watching him being with other women. I guess lots like to share experiences.
But you can share experiences with an fwb too. They not like an average new couple on here who signed up together, they been here for years separately b4 the relationship, they know the rules."
So, I have signed up with a fwb and its not about stopping each other doing our own things, its about finding things together too. Its not about not being enough . |
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By *im le2Man 25 weeks ago
AYLESTONE |
I'm only after sex I do have mates that I regularly meet but again it's just for sex one mate I met 15 years ago and we still meet twice a month just for sex.
This is a swingers site for ppl that want to meet other couples for sex. |
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"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?
I'm not in a couple, but if I was I would get off on watching him being with other women. I guess lots like to share experiences.
But you can share experiences with an fwb too. They not like an average new couple on here who signed up together, they been here for years separately b4 the relationship, they know the rules.
So, I have signed up with a fwb and its not about stopping each other doing our own things, its about finding things together too. Its not about not being enough ."
this  |
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There is someone for everyone on here, it's just a case of hard graft searching.
I've found dates, fwb, fb, subs, platonic friends, club buddies, social acquaintances.
I do believe it's a right place right time kind of place though, as life invariably gets in the way. |
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I'm of the opinion it's for whatever you want it to be. There's so many people here, there'll likely be others seeking the same as you, whatever that might be.
A frustration I have though is a disconnect between what some men consider casual sex vs what I do. A recent example is a man ranting at me (various insults thrown in too) because me wanting a little conversation to establish mutual interests is apparently me "looking for love", and the classic "this isn't a dating site". Err no I just want to know if we like the same stuff 😬 |
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"I'm of the opinion it's for whatever you want it to be. There's so many people here, there'll likely be others seeking the same as you, whatever that might be.
A frustration I have though is a disconnect between what some men consider casual sex vs what I do. A recent example is a man ranting at me (various insults thrown in too) because me wanting a little conversation to establish mutual interests is apparently me "looking for love", and the classic "this isn't a dating site". Err no I just want to know if we like the same stuff 😬 "
Yeah. I'd like to feel that I'm a human rather than a fleshlight. I, too, am told this means I expect marriage 🤣 |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 25 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I think it's whatever you want it to be and whatever those you meet want it to be.
I find as Trans most people who message me want it to be a hook up site and hardly any want it to be a dating site.
Personally, I quite like the idea of going on a date |
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"I'm of the opinion it's for whatever you want it to be. There's so many people here, there'll likely be others seeking the same as you, whatever that might be.
A frustration I have though is a disconnect between what some men consider casual sex vs what I do. A recent example is a man ranting at me (various insults thrown in too) because me wanting a little conversation to establish mutual interests is apparently me "looking for love", and the classic "this isn't a dating site". Err no I just want to know if we like the same stuff 😬
Yeah. I'd like to feel that I'm a human rather than a fleshlight. I, too, am told this means I expect marriage 🤣"
This this this. I have no interest in marriage but I do want to know some basics other than just who’s free and got some blue pills tonight… |
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"I have a question for the couples who met here? Why are you back here?cuz deep down you know that you wouldn't be enough for each other? I mean there's thousands of naked profiles, you could have sex with thousands of people but instead you found each other, which means there must be something special about both of you to get together.... but it's just not enough?"
Originally joined here as a single, met a guy, he wanted to be exclusive so I agreed. Wanted to explore, fulfil fantasies, some involved other people so used fab to meet them. When we checked everything off the list, we both stopped using fab. Only back because although we were sexually compatible, we were not in too many other ways. Tried dating sites and just don’t love the pussy footing around, being direct gets you blocked lol |
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"I'm of the opinion it's for whatever you want it to be. There's so many people here, there'll likely be others seeking the same as you, whatever that might be.
A frustration I have though is a disconnect between what some men consider casual sex vs what I do. A recent example is a man ranting at me (various insults thrown in too) because me wanting a little conversation to establish mutual interests is apparently me "looking for love", and the classic "this isn't a dating site". Err no I just want to know if we like the same stuff 😬
Yeah. I'd like to feel that I'm a human rather than a fleshlight. I, too, am told this means I expect marriage 🤣
This this this. I have no interest in marriage but I do want to know some basics other than just who’s free and got some blue pills tonight… "
I've also had some instances where I've been getting along famously with someone and then they turn around and tell me some unhinged view of theirs ("we" got Brexit done features pretty heavily, along with "we" now get to kick all the foreigners out. I am not part of this we, and I was not born in this country!). I'd really like that to never happen again, and the easiest way to do that is to filter out people who believe that kind of crap. |
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OP the experience for a single woman is different on here from a single guy like me.
Originally I joined fab like most men thinking it was a way to get hookups.
Over the years I've realised it's more an arena for open thoughts, wonderfully naughty humour that you wouldn't easily find elsewhere and an interesting study on the human experience. I've met many wonderful people, even hosted my own socials.
I enjoy the freedom here, the open minded people. It's not an easy place to meet women. But that's just a plus when it happens. The main focus for me is the social aspect. |
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"I'm of the opinion it's for whatever you want it to be. There's so many people here, there'll likely be others seeking the same as you, whatever that might be.
A frustration I have though is a disconnect between what some men consider casual sex vs what I do. A recent example is a man ranting at me (various insults thrown in too) because me wanting a little conversation to establish mutual interests is apparently me "looking for love", and the classic "this isn't a dating site". Err no I just want to know if we like the same stuff 😬 "
Some guys arrive with their own emotional baggage. They balk if a woman dares reject them, because they are deeply insecure. It's not you, it's them. 🤷🏽♂️ |
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By *otshot14Woman 25 weeks ago
tunbridge wells |
Glad you ask that because I think I was thinking what is this apart from hook up for sex and yeah fwb and maybe a relationship if I get that out of this.
For me personally it's the connection and that is way more harder to find.
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I'm guessing most people join this site looking for hookups, FB or FWB. Whether that be single people that don't want the emotional bagage that comes with a relationship or couples that are looking to to add to what they already have.
Life is never straight forward though and you can never predict what will happen. So whilst not joining the site looking for a relationship, (there are far better sites for that), it's quite conceivable that a FB becomes a FWB and that develops into a relationship.
Personally my preference would be to find that elusive FWB or even two. Having just come out of a relationship, I'm not looking for another. I just want to find someone that I can occasionally enjoy mutual interests, followed by great sex. But like I said, you never know how life will turn out. |
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Speaking from a single guy profile; Fab is THE ONLY ‘contact’ site on the interweb where I am able to read, and send messages free of charge. Why would I not use this site, for EITHER dating, OR hookups?
Whatever comes your way, make the most of it, and enjoy it, I say 🙂 |
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"I'm here looking for a very rich, very old, man to marry. Who will leave me all his money 💰 in his will.
I then buy a yacht and sail the Caribbean. "
Can I suggest you look for a guy in his 80s with a heart problem |
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By *orcsmatMan 25 weeks ago
Kidderminster |
"I'm undateable but apparently fuckable.
I can't complain!
"
But that's debatable. Most of the guys on here are married so not looking for a divorce. I've seen you pics, you obviously are a decent shape so, What's the barrier?
Better on a dating site
However, I've met and fucked more women that way than a sex hookup site. |
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"I'm undateable but apparently fuckable.
I can't complain!
But that's debatable. Most of the guys on here are married so not looking for a divorce. I've seen you pics, you obviously are a decent shape so, What's the barrier?
Better on a dating site
However, I've met and fucked more women that way than a sex hookup site. "
The simple fact is; there are more women using dating apps, than here, or other swinging sites.
My experience of ‘dating’ apps is mostly women looking for quick hook ups, or bunny-boilers looking to snag a husband….🤪
Fab is a refuge a single guy profile can hang out in, and use, completely free of charge. What’s not to like? |
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I simple meeting years ago on here turned into a relationship lasting 5 ISH years eventually we both still wanted to play with others and didn't think being in a relationship and being on fab as a couple worked so we parted ways in terms of relationships stayed friends and continue to chat we're both still on fab as singles but kinda support eachother |
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"I think everyone is looking for something a bit different.
And some people have very strong opinions on what you should or should not be allowed to look for (while asserting that all of their preferences are sacrosanct).
Some people sext here and nothing more. Others get married. Everything in between."
At last someone with a sensible perspective |
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Fab is like me a large screwdriver in a toolbox. Some people use them for screwing in screws, others as a chisel, others use them as a pry bar and some use the handle as a hammer!
Fab is just a tool, use it how it works for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
I think it depends. I’ve always used here as a single woman to look for a fwb type situation. We’re all different in what we look for and there’s nothing wrong with that. If that’s how you use the site, no one can tell you it’s wrong.
This site should be a judgement free zone, we’re all adults at the end of the day 🫶🏻
C |
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"I think it depends. I’ve always used here as a single woman to look for a fwb type situation. We’re all different in what we look for and there’s nothing wrong with that. If that’s how you use the site, no one can tell you it’s wrong.
This site should be a judgement free zone, we’re all adults at the end of the day 🫶🏻
100%
C"
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I come from a slightly different background from a swinger. But those in the bdsm point of view will tell me that I am a swinger.
I have got changed in a toilet at a club that regularly have trans ladies and Cross dressers in. Does any of them ogle me? No everyone wants to have some fun and get dressed and out playing.
Indeed once at a pub, I noticed a really tall lady chatting to a man and I got trans vibes, maybe they were maybe they weren’t. How knows |
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"I'd love to find fwb situations but I always, without fail, pick the wrong guys. Sigh. I guess the common denominator is me. That's a bitter pill to swallow."
Me too. Maybe we're thinking with our small heads? |
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"I'd love to find fwb situations but I always, without fail, pick the wrong guys. Sigh. I guess the common denominator is me. That's a bitter pill to swallow.
Me too. Maybe we're thinking with our small heads?"
Honestly, out of about 40,000 guys, I only manage to find attached guys or those that end up going back to their exes. Is it me or fab? I can't tell!?? Maybe I'm too non committal? Sigh. It's hard work for something seemingly relatively simple that's for sure. |
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By *sWyldWoman 24 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"I'd love to find fwb situations but I always, without fail, pick the wrong guys. Sigh. I guess the common denominator is me. That's a bitter pill to swallow.
Me too. Maybe we're thinking with our small heads?
Honestly, out of about 40,000 guys, I only manage to find attached guys or those that end up going back to their exes. Is it me or fab? I can't tell!?? Maybe I'm too non committal? Sigh. It's hard work for something seemingly relatively simple that's for sure. "
I felt like this about dating. I was the like the dog foster home. All the care and training for someone else to keep!
I gave up!! |
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"I'd love to find fwb situations but I always, without fail, pick the wrong guys. Sigh. I guess the common denominator is me. That's a bitter pill to swallow.
Me too. Maybe we're thinking with our small heads?
Honestly, out of about 40,000 guys, I only manage to find attached guys or those that end up going back to their exes. Is it me or fab? I can't tell!?? Maybe I'm too non committal? Sigh. It's hard work for something seemingly relatively simple that's for sure.
I felt like this about dating. I was the like the dog foster home. All the care and training for someone else to keep!
I gave up!!"
Sigh. I don't even do dating because of this. I thought fab would be easier. You live and learn. |
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