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Serious question tonight…
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I think some people just want attention and their ego stroked online instead of an actual in-person meet. There are genuine people on here too. Timing, planning and distance all factor in. And of course, mutual attraction and similar interests. Patience is key 👍🏾☺️ |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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For sure, that's always going to be the case in an anonymous, online environment, but I don't think it's too difficult to tell them apart from those who do want to meet. |
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By *hilloutMan 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Some are. Some aren't.
Some enjoy the online interaction for what it is, but for whatever reason have no intention in actually meeting.
Others, like myself, do have the goal of meeting others in person and work towards it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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There's exceptions of course but in my experience 95% of those who want to chat for ages will never meet. A very high percentage are in another relationship. |
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Some people have questionable motives far beyond my comprehension. Some just like to chat, at best, whilst others suffuse lip service, at worst.
It's the 'breadcrumbers' on a couple of occasions that have irritated me. They lack transparency and are themselves not aware that I can sense I'm lower down their list. I'd rather be off their list entirely so that they can focus on their real interests.
Low effort/Low energy is another cornerstone of these timewasters when it comes to chatting. I'd rather cull the conversation altogether.
The irony isn't lost on the above points when it is •they• who have initiated the contact in the first instance. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly."
I arrange to meet people I like but it is usually months in advance. |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly."
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊 |
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
I arrange to meet people I like but it is usually months in advance. "
Do they actually turn up? I generally assume a meet planned for more than a couple of weeks away won’t happen. People start to flake after that in my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊"
Exactly. If you've connected with someone and there's no practical issue like distance then why wouldn’t you meet reasonably quickly ? Answer is usually a partner! 🤣 |
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
·
I arrange to meet people I like but it is usually months in advance. "
•
Same. I'm a slow burn. Meets happen but I won't expedite them needlessly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊
Exactly. If you've connected with someone and there's no practical issue like distance then why wouldn’t you meet reasonably quickly ? Answer is usually a partner! 🤣"
Or work
Kids
A life that doesn't revolve around sex |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊
Exactly. If you've connected with someone and there's no practical issue like distance then why wouldn’t you meet reasonably quickly ? Answer is usually a partner! 🤣"
If there is distance that cant be figured out then why bother at all 🤷♀️ If you want to figure it out you will...otherwise its a convenient excuse |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
I arrange to meet people I like but it is usually months in advance.
Do they actually turn up? I generally assume a meet planned for more than a couple of weeks away won’t happen. People start to flake after that in my experience."
Yeah, joys of being female I guess. |
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
·
I arrange to meet people I like but it is usually months in advance.
•
Same. I'm a slow burn. Meets happen but I won't expedite them needlessly."
Same, same. If we agree to meet, we'll meet. Worth the wait with the right people. |
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly."
•
Contrary to my previous comment I don't disagree with this either. Perhaps this is just me and some women on the thread reading this will roll their êyês: there is some merit in reinforcing the intention of meeting sooner rather than later. Why? Because in my experience 95% of my meets have been instigated/facilitated by me. The women that I'm engaging with desire to meet in earnest but will do next to nothing in making it happen. The onus (nearly) always falls on me. And if I act upon that 'onus' the meet happens, every time. |
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly."
Sometimes the best connections are built with a bit of time and planning and tend to be the more worth while meets. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊"
I'm the same. Why waste both our times chatting for ages if a coffee meet is possible to see if things click in person.
Different if distance is a factor, but even then I wouldn't be waiting months |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
Sometimes the best connections are built with a bit of time and planning and tend to be the more worth while meets."
Agreed. One of my absolute favourite people, things were delayed significantly because... 2020.
When we met it was explosive, and it remains so. We developed a lovely friendship while we were at it. |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊
I'm the same. Why waste both our times chatting for ages if a coffee meet is possible to see if things click in person.
Different if distance is a factor, but even then I wouldn't be waiting months"
Totalky, I understand that some want to take time and build connection but ive never been able to truly judge if i have chemistry without a physical interaction
Everyone is different but for me...if im interested..im moving it to IRL fairly quickly |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
"
I should expand and say that they go on to remain online daily and have status' changed to "looking for meets" and have veri's added over the next month or so. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
"
Oh that's lower than low |
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"I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
I should expand and say that they go on to remain online daily and have status' changed to "looking for meets" and have veri's added over the next month or so."
Jesus |
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I love to talk here and then cam to establish we’re both real.. a meet could happen after that. But it amazes me how many people then say their cam isn’t working etc.. so yes, I’m afraid there are many time wasters, even before one gets to meeting ! |
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"I hope not. We are new here and cant be dealing with timewasters
We have encountered a few not respectful of us as a couple, which sits badly with us"
It's the internet, sadly. There are people who'll yank your chain. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Talkers talk. They generally don’t meet in my experience. Meets that happen are usually organised pretty fast. Life gets in the way if you don’t do move quickly.
This ⏫️⏫️ i have very little patience with the "lets meet...sometime" approach
Do...or do not 😊
I'm the same. Why waste both our times chatting for ages if a coffee meet is possible to see if things click in person.
Different if distance is a factor, but even then I wouldn't be waiting months
Totalky, I understand that some want to take time and build connection but ive never been able to truly judge if i have chemistry without a physical interaction
Everyone is different but for me...if im interested..im moving it to IRL fairly quickly"
Absolutely. I need that face to face, does this translate moment. Partly so I stop overthinking everything as well though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
Oh that's lower than low"
Low doesn't even come close to quantify it.
I find it despicable and absolutely disgusting.
|
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I have encountered quite an amount of timewasters yes.
The worst I've had is when a meet was arranged and the same day (a few hours before the meet) they announced they wouldn't be coming as "they just found out they had cancer"
As excuses go this is absolutely heinous.
I should expand and say that they go on to remain online daily and have status' changed to "looking for meets" and have veri's added over the next month or so.
Jesus"
Exactly that and so much more. |
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There's lots of people on here who don't want to meet because they're already married, they're just on here for a cheap wank.
Add to this the ratio of male to female at around 500:1,
then throw in the perennial fab problem that the person you like is always on the other side of the country. There's your reason why so few meets happen. But frankly fab isn't a good place to pick up women if you're a bloke. |
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Not for me. But I also start with the expectation that I'll speak with many but only a few will be compatible and fewer still will get to meet with me.
It's important to be realistic, even if an optimist |
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I have not found them to be time wasters, I feel that messaging on this site can easily separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ask the right questions and treat messages on this site as an interview and you'll soon get the desired results.
It just need some patience and tweaking of your approach |
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I think this place is like a box of chocolates you start a chat then eventually it fades out, it’s trying to keep who you are talking to engaged in a chat, but if they are getting other pms then they wander off lol, generally after you found out name location marital status bust size lol the chat dies when you try and talk to them normally, if you can keep up a sexually charged chat then you might get a few more lines but then that disappears too lol but every so often you find a nugget and things move outside of here and then things can happen  |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X  "
Yup , in my experience, I've found some , not all , not all , to be ego feeders , they just want guys to tell them how hot , sexy & beautiful they are , l'm always sceptical of those that have no profile pic up or no pics whatsoever, some then are just wine drinking couch surfers, have absolutely no interest in meeting , l know it sounds like a short time but if chatting regularly to someone then l think if arranging a meet isn't mentioned after a week then it's bye bye ( a meet may NOT be able to be had for a certain time but it's mentioned within a week) ..the sad part of it is that a person has to go through the time wasting scene before they realise it...l say this from experience.. especially if chatting on WhatsApp, you know they're not a bit interested when you send a message & they " react" to it |
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There's all sorts on here -
chatters, meeters, fun people, not so fun people, people that use big words but don't actually say anything at all, people of few words who speak volumes!
It's all relative and if you relate it's all good x |
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"I have not found them to be time wasters, I feel that messaging on this site can easily separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ask the right questions and treat messages on this site as an interview and you'll soon get the desired results.
It just need some patience and tweaking of your approach"
I'm intrigued now, what is the right questions for you? |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I have not found them to be time wasters, I feel that messaging on this site can easily separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ask the right questions and treat messages on this site as an interview and you'll soon get the desired results.
It just need some patience and tweaking of your approach
I'm intrigued now, what is the right questions for you?"
Where do you see yourself in 5yrs time? |
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"I think the saddest ones are guys that hide pretending they’re a couple and when I call them out, they disappear that’s truly pathetic"
Totally agree with the ⬆️ , plenty of these caught 2 out in the last few weeks . Sad people unfortunately |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X "
I've never had anyone not turn up, but then I've talked to people and built relationship before we ever arrange to meet. |
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By *eliWoman 26 weeks ago
. |
I've never experienced time wasting or ghosting. Or been let down by someone last minute. Abuse in my inbox. All the Fabailments.
And I'm one of those who much prefers to talk to someone before meeting them. Months. Even the odd year. I have a busy life and it takes me time to organise things, find someone I like enough to want to actually meet. Even then I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had sex with someone that first time.
It works for me. Really well. Maybe it's not so much about the length of time as it is the people involved? |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X "
If people would actually chat and get to know each other, there might be a better chance of something happening. Not everyone wants to meet straight away and fuck just to have another notch on the bed post!
I also find that some people need to lower their expectations and live in the real world and not disregard us ugly ones lol😂😂 |
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Being a single bi woman my experience is most couples fantasise about meeting, but for the vast majority it never goes any further.
I have a number of screening methods but they aren't fool proof and I often get my time wasted by couples where there is interest on both sides. Even by those who are well verified.
It's like a bingo card they all start by assuring me they are genuine, won't waste my time and are keen to meet etc 
I've actually not had a meet with a couple through here since August 2024 (not a typo).
Unfortunately clubs are largely inaccessible so that route isn't open to me, and while I'm active at group socials I don't get a huge amount of interest from couples. |
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Just to add, I've not (yet) been stood up in person, but I do insist on confirming a meet is going ahead on the day.
Without that confirmation I don't turn up.
Have had at least a half dozen meets with couples fall apart at that stage. |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X "
I think that people often label others as time wasters because they don't want to meet "them". To me the whole point of the messaging & chat is to work out whether you want to meet them or not.
Ultimately, if you spent a couple of nights chatting to someone and concluded that they weren't what you were looking for,would that make YOU a time waster?
Cal |
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"Just to add, I've not (yet) been stood up in person, but I do insist on confirming a meet is going ahead on the day.
Without that confirmation I don't turn up.
Have had at least a half dozen meets with couples fall apart at that stage. "
Unfortunately I've had let downs at the last minute and confirmation on the day and still no show or go quiet just before,I will never get why they can't just drop a message to say sorry but I won't make it 🤷♀️ |
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This site is full to the brim with time wasters! Mostly men that are trying to cheat too! Shouldn't even be on this site, if youre not happy then talk to the other half, me and my gf get so annoyed on here |
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I've been guilty of talking and not actually meeting, usually because I don't get chance to meet often, and trying to find a time we're both available isn't easy. The chat peters out before the chance arises.
Sometimes of course you find that the more you chat the less you've got in common so you don't really want to meet. There was also one lass I was talking to when I first signed up who was lovely, and we were talking about meeting but then I bottled it and said I couldn't. She quite rightly then blocked me, and I regret it to this day. |
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Sure …. Some just like the chase , some just window shop ….some just like chat ….. we’re all on here for different reasons and all of us wear masks due to the nature of this site ….its a diverse place and can be a lot of fun …. It’s what you make it OP ….. just respect others decisions and choices |
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By *exy-SashCouple 26 weeks ago
Milton Keynes |
I’m a talker I like to talk sex,i like to talk utter shite and have a laugh and banter.
For me it’s important to form that connection and vibe to someone you’re possibly going to share your body with. But I make it very clear in the first instance. I think that’s the difference that people do string people along unnecessarily |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X
I think that people often label others as time wasters because they don't want to meet "them". To me the whole point of the messaging & chat is to work out whether you want to meet them or not.
Ultimately, if you spent a couple of nights chatting to someone and concluded that they weren't what you were looking for,would that make YOU a time waster?
Cal"
I would add that a time waster to me, is someone who doesn't turn up to a prearranged meet.
In over 10 years on the site this has never happened to us. I think the fact we always insist on a social first and don't engage in sex chat s out the time wasters.
However, we mostly meet in clubs which completely removes the issue.
Nita |
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"I have not found them to be time wasters, I feel that messaging on this site can easily separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ask the right questions and treat messages on this site as an interview and you'll soon get the desired results.
It just need some patience and tweaking of your approach
I'm intrigued now, what is the right questions for you?
Where do you see yourself in 5yrs time?"
Erm... On here masturbating in the cam room whilst a big woman tucks into a Victoria sponge and custard.
Is that the correct answer?  |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X "
Unfortunately yes, from our experience. Lots of fantasists, then when it comes to meeting they are gone like a good dream when the alarm goes off. |
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"I have not found them to be time wasters, I feel that messaging on this site can easily separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ask the right questions and treat messages on this site as an interview and you'll soon get the desired results.
It just need some patience and tweaking of your approach
I'm intrigued now, what is the right questions for you?
Where do you see yourself in 5yrs time?
Erm... On here masturbating in the cam room whilst a big woman tucks into a Victoria sponge and custard.
Is that the correct answer? "
Vicky Sponge and Custard?! That's criminal. |
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Not in our experience.
I guess it depends on your definition of time wasters though. To us time wasters are those that don’t turn up to meets, if we’ve been chatting and they disappear it’s not really time wasting.
In general though we meet people through clubs and organised events, we rarely organise through fab |
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"Serious one now guys.
Do you find that people are more time wasters on here and all talk than actually likely to meet up? I’m intrigued in other peoples opinions…
X "
Not really if you do your due diligence well but even that can’t guarantee things |
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It's hard to tell attraction online. Getting more detail of the physical or of the person behind the profile, revealed in bits and bobs, it can mean it takes a while to know if I'm truly attracted to someone.
I'm always up front about that.
But it can mean a chat fizzles out over time or after a while. |
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