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🛫 🚔 Airport Security Snafu 🚔🛫
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard  |
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Had a 9am flight from Cyprus. Went out clubbing with my cousin the night before. Ending up taking lsd back at a house party at 4am for some Unkown reason. Bad idea.
Walking through security at the airport like an actual spaceman was an interesting experience I have to say. |
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Years ago they didn't swab children's hands and feet and last few times my sons have been,which is awful really as they must have had a rise in people using children as mules.
I've only ever been pulled for a random security check once. |
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"No reason, probably just wanted to frisk me  "
I get patted down virtually every time. The most recent time annoyed me. I asked if I should take my boots off to go through the scanners as that's what they normally want me to do. They said no only to then pull me aside, pat me down, make me stick my feet in a machine and then go back to put my boots through the scanner. I didn't even ask on the return flight, just took them off. |
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I was paranoid about it as I had toys and lube in my hand luggage, at Heathrow it all went through ok, and the same at Gibraltar. However, the fun started when the flight home was diverted via Malaga and they went through my bag. Luckily they didn’t pull anything out but it was a nervous moment. |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard "
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 26 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
As a long haired, bearded, leather jacketed twentysomething, I flew to Germany via Lisbon (mess-up with my ticket). Going through baggage check at Lisbon, my camping stove and nested pots showed up as a metal cylinder about the size of a small limpet mine. The first I realised was when the security operator asked me to open my bag, and I realised I was flanked by three more security personnel with submachine guns! 😳 |
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It wasnt airport but it was security to get on eurostar.
We put our bags through, next thing we are surrounded by security and a dog. They made me empty my bag there and then.
In the bag was a toy sword and pistol id bought my son and that's what showed up on the xray |
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
"
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂 |
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"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂"
Nah mate, I just have 10 dicks |
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂
Nah mate, I just have 10 dicks"
Sexual Hydra 😂😂 |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂"
Did you wink back 🤔🤣 |
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂
Did you wink back 🤔🤣"
I grinned and replied "yehaaaa like John Wick" 😁😂😂 |
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Most embarrassing was when myself and a lady friend were returning from a trip to France where I'd been competing in a clay pigeon shooting contest. I was stopped while they checked my case and gunbag as I expected to be and they also searched my lady friend. I'd forgotten that in her bag she had the black leather strap on she pegs me with and a few other items of a sexual nature and when the guard removed it from it's bag his face was a picture. He fixed me with a knowing look and apparently I looked like a rabbit in the headlights as I tried to look unassuming like this was a normal occurrence |
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By *tormQueenWoman 26 weeks ago
All over the place |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂
Did you wink back 🤔🤣
I grinned and replied "yehaaaa like John Wick" 😁😂😂"
More like teenwolf 🤣🤣 |
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Having just passed through airport security it dawned on me....
What's the funniest or most embarrassing reason for being pulled aside by security for a bag check? 😅
Answers on a postcard
If you have never experienced the embarrassment of explaining to airport security that yes you have packed your own case, and yes one of the items you packed is indeed a sex toy then have you ever really lived??
You certainly havent flown to meet a fab friend for a filthy weekend with hand luggage only 😈
I did get pulled once for an unrelated reason, but the staff, who was a young lad mentioned in a low voice I was packing a lot of condoms. He winked and said "one of those weekends?" 😂😂
Did you wink back 🤔🤣
I grinned and replied "yehaaaa like John Wick" 😁😂😂
More like teenwolf 🤣🤣"
Oh ffs....yeaaaah and not yehaaaaa😅😂 |
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Left the UK last year with a small bag containing £10,000 in cash, six packs of bagels , 3 kg of cheese & a load of better than sex mascara to sell on the market , ( it's renamed better than love in Dubai) everything got through Birmingham okay but the mascara was confiscated in Dubai |
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A few years ago when I set off the metal detector I thought I was still wearing my cock ring. Luckily I wasn't. Imagine the embarrassment of being told to remove it in front of them.  . I did get pulled by security last week at Manchester airport. One of the wrapped presents in my hand luggage was a clay ornament for a relative. I guess the x-ray couldn't scan through it or something. Can't even take a snow globe in hand luggage these days.
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Peppermint chocolate fudge and electronics in hand luggage
I didn't know that fudge showed up the same density as C4 in the early 2000s x-ray machines"
No security detail on hand for the check? 😅 |
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Returning from S.Africa (1990) and going through check in at Sofia for the last leg. With a very large & heavy hand luggage bag whose zip had broken but I'd managed to bodge it so it wouldn't open. Bag contained engineering tools. Micrometers, vernier and several Jacob Chucks.
As the bag was going through the x-ray m/c the operator said
'Grenade!' 'Stick Grenade.'
'Let me have a look.'
(To be fair the 3 or 4 chucks did look like stick grenades.)
I then had to open the bag, I didn't want to and show the guy. All was legit.
Another time again in S.Africa. I was queuing to get through security with a pot plant for a couple who were very much into practical jokes. The thought that entered my brain was I wonder what a cannabis plant looks like?.....They wouldn't would they? |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Peppermint chocolate fudge and electronics in hand luggage
I didn't know that fudge showed up the same density as C4 in the early 2000s x-ray machines
No security detail on hand for the check? 😅"
had to eat a piece to prove what it was. Don't think it helped that it was three weeks after 9/11 |
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Tripped coming out the scanner, put my arms out to hold onto the computer stand. Turns out I didnt grab the stand, instead grabbed the legs of the security bloke, ripped his trouser leg off, knocked him over, followed by the computer.
In the end, caused a grand worth of damage and the security bloke needed new trousers. That scanner was apparently closed off for a few weeks too. 1st aiders come and everyone was ok, police were happy it was an accident, but nearly missed my flight, so had to run to the gate.
Got to the gate and instead of following the taped lanes, decided to jump one and ended up face planting the floor. |
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We used to love a nice vibrating bag.
Having to come to the check in desk at the departure gate, open your bag and have to sort out what ever is vibrating. Usually it was a razor, but on a few occassions, it was a vibrator |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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I was working in Oz, on a local flight out to the mines the security wand you down, I had to go to the bath room and remove a sensitive piercing as they didnt want.to look at it in situ 😂😂😂😂😂 |
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By *hillout OP Man 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"My dad's friend used to work in Saudi Arabia and almost got arrested bringing in fake tan from home for a friend because it had pictures of women in bikinis on the packaging."
The heresy! 😅😳 |
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"My dad's friend used to work in Saudi Arabia and almost got arrested bringing in fake tan from home for a friend because it had pictures of women in bikinis on the packaging."
I grew up in Saudi as a kid. Later went to boarding school and flew back one Christmas with a load of presents from my grandparents - mainly chocolates as my mum loves Cadburys. Customs ate every single one of them to make sure they “didn’t have alcohol in them”. Just left me with wrapping paper and empty boxes. |
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