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Where do you meet people these days
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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This is a where would you meet someone to date question, for something long term, rather than for swinging.
Online isn’t working for me at all, yep, it’s my face! I’ve always done okay in real life but I’m nothing special in a profile, I'm told it’s because I’m very funny and a nice guy (now I sound boring) but that doesn’t translate online where it’s more about instant attraction.
So, I’m trying to turn my attention to the real world but where do you meet people these days? I sense approaching people in a bar like the old days might get you flagged as a weirdo.
So, where do you go? Does anyone have any real life experience? My last three relationships have been through work but that’s proved messy and not something I’d consider now.
Help!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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"I’d look at something more meaningful not based on a sex site like fab.
Hobby groups / fitness classes / social activities "
Thanks, yep, that’s the plan I just need some ideas and hopefully some real world experiences to let me know it’s actually possible. I’m despairing slightly (must be a New Year thing). |
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I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty |
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"I’d look at something more meaningful not based on a sex site like fab.
Hobby groups / fitness classes / social activities "
This ^
I think too many people on here just think of the sex and forget that there is a real person behind the sex. If you enjoy people as people, the rest will follow if the chemistry is right. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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"I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty"
Thanks for the advice. The prospect of trying to meet someone at my age feels like you’re on the edge of a very big cliff!
Meeting people at work was more comforting but it’s just a no go for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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"I’d look at something more meaningful not based on a sex site like fab.
Hobby groups / fitness classes / social activities This ^
I think too many people on here just think of the sex and forget that there is a real person behind the sex. If you enjoy people as people, the rest will follow if the chemistry is right."
Cheers, I’m definitely looking for the right person, sex is absolutely not the priority, it’s the cherry on the cake. |
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"I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty
Thanks for the advice. The prospect of trying to meet someone at my age feels like you’re on the edge of a very big cliff!
Meeting people at work was more comforting but it’s just a no go for me."
Well I met my husband at work and over 40 years later he's still trying to shake me off 🤣.
Is it really a big no to approach people and start a conversation with a view to getting their number? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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"I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty
Thanks for the advice. The prospect of trying to meet someone at my age feels like you’re on the edge of a very big cliff!
Meeting people at work was more comforting but it’s just a no go for me.
Well I met my husband at work and over 40 years later he's still trying to shake me off 🤣.
Is it really a big no to approach people and start a conversation with a view to getting their number? "
As far as approaching people I’m not sure it’s me at my best, I’ve always been at my best when I’m around people regularly, I guess I grow on people, I have always punched above my weight but pretty much every partner has said until they got to know me I wasn’t their type, probably why it’s never lasted! |
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I don't do any of these myself but I know there has been a resurgence of in-person dating groups that arrange socials.
Running groups, walking groups, crafts, classes on things like wine/ cheese/ cooking, other activities that involve new people with a purpose that takes the pressure away from 'it's a date' scenario.
The local community noticeboards tend to post invitations to next events. |
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I met my partner here 10 years ago, when I wasn't looking for it.
So I have no recent experience of dating. But, when I was single, I got asked out through work or on nights out.
I once got chatted up on a train.
You could look at volunteering or meet people through shared interests /hobbies.
Good luck op. |
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"I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty
Thanks for the advice. The prospect of trying to meet someone at my age feels like you’re on the edge of a very big cliff!
Meeting people at work was more comforting but it’s just a no go for me."
You are still young! I met my partner when I was about your age. I was very happy single and not looking for a relationship but met online when I commented on a post she had made, fell in love, had two kids bought a house. It can happen, normally when you least expect it. |
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"I have no personal experience because when I was dating people approached me in bars, pubs, on public transport, at bus stops etc.
The people I know who do date have met through mutual friends, at evening class, by going to various hobby type clubs and through volunteering. I think you need to be out there, talking and getting to know a wide variety of people. Go to the same places regularly that sort of thing.
I'm so glad I'm not dating it must be fraught with difficulty
Thanks for the advice. The prospect of trying to meet someone at my age feels like you’re on the edge of a very big cliff!
Meeting people at work was more comforting but it’s just a no go for me.
Well I met my husband at work and over 40 years later he's still trying to shake me off 🤣.
Is it really a big no to approach people and start a conversation with a view to getting their number? "
I can’t agree more with this. With the modern attitude towards men approaching women being labelled as predatory and creepy, it makes me wonder how anyone would ever meet! |
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There are tons of sites and apps for meeting people. It seems a lost art now, meeting people socially out of the blue.
I wouldn't be expecting anything from this site, people tend to know what they want and that is all they are expecting.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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Thanks everyone, I think I just need to get out there and see what happens, join a few clubs seems the way to go, maybe it’s then a case of meeting a friend of a friend. |
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By *AYENCouple 26 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
Depending on your cicumstances you could either rent some rooms out or rent a room in a house share.
After my second divorce I rented out a couple of rooms and met my now wife. My previous wife was my next door neighbour and the one before that I met in a house share - so it definitely works  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago
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"Im going start going to dating social groups. I prefer face to face chat rather than online.
"
If someone could invent a group where the people that go to gigs I like attend that would be perfect. |
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I'd also love to find out how to actually meet people. Online is horrible but I get panic attacks in crowded places and struggle to leave the house. Feel like I'll never find anyone. These suggestions that have been made, I have no idea where groups even meet or anything like that. Like "go join a walking group" where would I even find a walking group? |
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"I'd also love to find out how to actually meet people. Online is horrible but I get panic attacks in crowded places and struggle to leave the house. Feel like I'll never find anyone. These suggestions that have been made, I have no idea where groups even meet or anything like that. Like "go join a walking group" where would I even find a walking group? "
Facebook, the local community centre, the information pages of your local authority, google 'walking groups in my area'. |
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"in my day it was always face to face in a pub or nightclub .. i miss those days "
In the late early 80s my friend's brother met and married his wife via 'computer dating '. They kept it very secret because it was seen as a bit of a joke.
Nobody is laughing now! |
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By *ib.Man 26 weeks ago
Hampshire |
"in my day it was always face to face in a pub or nightclub .. i miss those days "
Nights out is how I met most of my girlfriends.
I don't really go out anymore though and live in a small town now.  |
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By *avexxMan 26 weeks ago
cheshire |
"in my day it was always face to face in a pub or nightclub .. i miss those days
In the late early 80s my friend's brother met and married his wife via 'computer dating '. They kept it very secret because it was seen as a bit of a joke.
Nobody is laughing now!"
,,, im not laughing ... laughing at myself i miss those days |
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