FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies messaging guys first
Ladies messaging guys first
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I just hear so often that the inbox is full with tens/hundreds of messages. It sounds like a logistical challenge to read your inbox and then continue to scroll and search yourself "
It's quite easy. Menu- delete all.
Search.
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"I just hear so often that the inbox is full with tens/hundreds of messages. It sounds like a logistical challenge to read your inbox and then continue to scroll and search yourself "
Yes, women can be bombarded.
However, when a majority of messages are wildly unsuitable, deleting them doesn't take a huge amount of time.
It can be difficult to filter to adequately filter out those you don't want and include those you do want.
My solution is radical - I've had men and couples blocked for five years. |
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"I just hear so often that the inbox is full with tens/hundreds of messages. It sounds like a logistical challenge to read your inbox and then continue to scroll and search yourself
It's quite easy. Menu- delete all.
Search.
"
Brutal  |
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By *CExeCouple 26 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Had a good few girlies mesage first when I was on as a singleton. It made a refreshing change from the predatory and inappropriate guys messaging who clearly couldn't read a profile or respect sexual preferences. |
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I don't really read my messages unless the profile pic catches my eye. I prefer to message first that way I can ignore most of my inbox. The fellas hate it mind. They start threads over such behaviour. |
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"I just hear so often that the inbox is full with tens/hundreds of messages. It sounds like a logistical challenge to read your inbox and then continue to scroll and search yourself
Yes, women can be bombarded.
However, when a majority of messages are wildly unsuitable, deleting them doesn't take a huge amount of time.
It can be difficult to filter to adequately filter out those you don't want and include those you do want.
My solution is radical - I've had men and couples blocked for five years."
And most women. I got a time out from wanting to ask you something on my last profile |
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"I don't really read my messages unless the profile pic catches my eye. I prefer to message first that way I can ignore most of my inbox. The fellas hate it mind. They start threads over such behaviour. "
I do this or mass delete |
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I would genuinely encourage women to do this more often.
From conversations I've had it can make fab a whole different experience.
Don't think about rejection, just start a conversation and who knows where it could lead. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
I mean the only thing that’s less effort than Hi is sending an emoji or a wink, so…. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
Genuine answer, I would ignore any first message that just said hi regardless of who sent it. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
Dunno. I message how I want to be messaged. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
I mean the only thing that’s less effort than Hi is sending an emoji or a wink, so…. "
Yeah. If someone messages me, I want to know that they've chosen to message me and have read my profile. So I do the same when I'm messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
I send more than hi. If they are really hot they get a good evening.
Though sometimes I try to be funny and I get blocked. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
I send more than hi. If they are really hot they get a good evening.
Though sometimes I try to be funny and I get blocked. "
Glad to know it's not just me who has that effect! 😂
Freyja x |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
I send more than hi. If they are really hot they get a good evening.
Though sometimes I try to be funny and I get blocked.
Glad to know it's not just me who has that effect! 😂
Freyja x"
I should learn not to go straight in with the sarcasm.
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
I would definitely say more than Hi,i would probably put something about what it was that made me message.
And I don't always look at everyone who messages me so maybe,maybe not |
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"I would genuinely encourage women to do this more often.
From conversations I've had it can make fab a whole different experience.
Don't think about rejection, just start a conversation and who knows where it could lead. "
I agree. I get why they don't do it because if enough men come to them, it's bound to feel better than risking sending the first message and being rejected based on lack of attraction. But I'd like people to get out the mindset that the guy must make the first move. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Yes, ive messaged Gents directly and from the forums.
Ive had my best meets by messaging direct.
"
I would seriously love to see a message from you in my inbox.
That would be the perfect way to say goodbye to 2025, |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
I send more than hi. If they are really hot they get a good evening.
Though sometimes I try to be funny and I get blocked.
Glad to know it's not just me who has that effect! 😂
Freyja x"
Yes, sometimes I thought I was being witty, and it was not taken well |
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By *hilloutMan 26 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys? "
Can't speak for others, but it's very rarely happened in my case. 95% of the time the initiative has been mine. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
I send more than hi. If they are really hot they get a good evening.
Though sometimes I try to be funny and I get blocked.
Glad to know it's not just me who has that effect! 😂
Freyja x
I should learn not to go straight in with the sarcasm.
"
There's always room for a bit of sarcasm, and any one who blocks you for it isnt worth the time you spent on them anyway. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there "
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi? |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi? "
I just imagine that’s contact initiated. Instinct takes over and the rest will follow, men have less messages to read so will be naturally more inquisitive to see where it leads, if anywher |
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By *r.ZeusMan 26 weeks ago
Basgiath War College |
"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys? "
Yes they do. I’ve even had a few FAF messages which I’ve had to turn down as I’m not meeting anyone. If only I could donate meets. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi?
I just imagine that’s contact initiated. Instinct takes over and the rest will follow, men have less messages to read so will be naturally more inquisitive to see where it leads, if anywher"
Any woman expecting a man to carry the load of the conversation isn't worth talking to in the first place. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi?
I just imagine that’s contact initiated. Instinct takes over and the rest will follow, men have less messages to read so will be naturally more inquisitive to see where it leads, if anywher
Any woman expecting a man to carry the load of the conversation isn't worth talking to in the first place. "
Quite. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 26 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi? "
To my shame one of the first messages I sent was just two words. 
Worked too 🤣 |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi?
To my shame one of the first messages I sent was just two words.
Worked too 🤣"
😂🤭 |
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"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys?
Yes they do. I’ve even had a few FAF messages which I’ve had to turn down as I’m not meeting anyone. If only I could donate meets. "
Nice boast there🤣 |
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"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys? "
Yes i got some messages from few users. It was good communication. Just have to be respectful snd reply on specific topic approached. And keep the communication going |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi?
I just imagine that’s contact initiated. Instinct takes over and the rest will follow, men have less messages to read so will be naturally more inquisitive to see where it leads, if anywher"
Well, it’s certainly not my approach. I’m looking to initiate conversations and get to know someone, not just make myself known for them to do all the heavy lifting. |
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"When you message as a woman to a single man, do you have to say much more than ‘hi’.
Genuine question, I mean if you’ve messaged them, they will look at your profile right and crack on from there
What’s the point if all you’re messaging is hi?
I just imagine that’s contact initiated. Instinct takes over and the rest will follow, men have less messages to read so will be naturally more inquisitive to see where it leads, if anywher
Any woman expecting a man to carry the load of the conversation isn't worth talking to in the first place. "
Exactly this! |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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I did when I had my single profile. I preferred it to being messaged, tbh.
It was usually off the back of a forum thread and never just "hi", and rarely because I thought "phwoar". Those thoughts maybe came a bit later after having a bit of a chit chat.
N |
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Yes, they do. In all the years I've been here I would say 90% of my dates on Fab have been on the back of women sending the first message.
I would be lying if I said I don't instigate initial contact. I do, but it's seldom.
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I've had a couple, one from a barely out of teens and the conversation was stilted to say the least (generally monosyllabic responses to my questions) so I rapidly came to the conclusion they were fantasists or a bloke masquerading as a women. One though definitely progressed to a more fulfilling encounter  |
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"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys?
Can't speak for others, but it's very rarely happened in my case. 95% of the time the initiative has been mine. "
For me, it's closer to 99% that has been initiated by me. |
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"Yes, they do. In all the years I've been here I would say 90% of my dates on Fab have been on the back of women sending the first message.
I would be lying if I said I don't instigate initial contact. I do, but it's seldom.
"
I'll add to my previous comment ⬆️ that in the grand scheme of things women are way too reticent when it comes to sending the first message, which is a shame.
On a few occasions, on threads that I've created, I've enquired why. Only a handful of women gave a response within the thread, most were reluctant to be open and only gave their responses via a direct message: lack of confidence, fear of rejection, apathy, 'limiting' themselves to a perfunctory wink or just focusing on the messages that they received ("I shouldn't have to; I get enough in my inbox anyway!"). |
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Some women have sent the first message which has been great. Personally, I've stated in my profile that if they were interested, then to send a wink and I hope that would accomplish a couple of things. Firstly, it means that they can perform an action without pressure on their side and secondly, it means that I can send the first message knowing that there's interest on their side.
It works quite well, even though I found that sometimes they still don't message back even though they've sent the wink but I suppose it's not a foolproof way of doing things. |
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"Hi all.
I’m curious as to whether many single ladies send the first message to single guys?
Yes they do. I’ve even had a few FAF messages which I’ve had to turn down as I’m not meeting anyone. If only I could donate meets. "
That answers my next question  |
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