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Men humans only .........
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This is the thread where you all share your pearls of wisdom about the female body , arousal and orgasm .....
It's nice to share. Let us all know how womens bits work and what it is that women want. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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My entire knowledge of the female orgasm derives from the famous Chelsea football song:
'Celery, Celery!
If she don't come
I'll tickle her bum
With a bunch of Celery!'
🎶 |
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"what it is that women want.
Now genuinely if I truly knew the answer to that wouldn’t I be on a book tour or presenting my own podcast 😳"
No. You'd be on This Morning telling everyone that the fallopians isn't a mountain range in Italy |
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I have learnt from the ancient Greek theories, that the uterus is a small, separate animal with a mind of its own that moves around the body, causing chaos by pressing on the liver or spleen. If the uterus gets too stressed, it can wander up to the neck to cause a headache. Such an occurrence then inevitably results in the male penis wondering away from home  |
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Moving on from my pearls of wisdom about human anatomy, I now offer my understanding of what women want.
Contrary to popular belief, women do not want to communicate their needs. They want men to possess the telepathic ability to know exactly what they want without speaking, while also being angry that the poor sap doesn't know. |
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"Moving on from my pearls of wisdom about human anatomy, I now offer my understanding of what women want.
Contrary to popular belief, women do not want to communicate their needs. They want men to possess the telepathic ability to know exactly what they want without speaking, while also being angry that the poor sap doesn't know."
Phooey .......... correct absolutely correct .. with that woman you know.
I have the opposite. Men taking umbrage when I tactfully point out room for improvements...... what is the matter with them ? |
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Hmmmm, I've always started with lots of sensual kisses... around neck, ear lobs, down arms and wrists.. then back to neck.... would slowly work my down and kiss/lick breasts, under the crease.... then kiss down to thighs, licking and kissing inside the thigh area.... then gently kiss her pussy, treating as if gently kissing her on the facial lips.... anything after that is dependent on reaction ....  |
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"The most effective method of clitoral stimulation is with two fingers, or the offer of a Greggs Steak Bake."
I'm not being judgey but they are a bit flakey for a clit session doncha think... crumbs everywhere and the grease ..... |
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"
I have the opposite. Men taking umbrage when I tactfully point out room for improvements...... what is the matter with them ?"
LET ME EXPLAIN, your problem is that you have misunderstood 'mansplaining' - you have it arse over face.  |
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"
I have the opposite. Men taking umbrage when I tactfully point out room for improvements...... what is the matter with them ?
LET ME EXPLAIN, your problem is that you have misunderstood 'mansplaining' - you have it arse over face. "
The audacity of me ...... the very cheek of me..... pfffft |
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All wimmin’ can be placated via the medium of cake; it’s a scientifically irrefutable fact.
Therefore by logic, gently rubbing said cake over her erogenous zones will cause her to have the world’s most powerful orgasm 👍🏻
Use caution when utilising this magical technique on a woman though, for too much cake can cause an orgasm so powerful that she may spontaneously combust. |
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"All wimmin’ can be placated via the medium of cake; it’s a scientifically irrefutable fact.
Therefore by logic, gently rubbing said cake over her erogenous zones will cause her to have the world’s most powerful orgasm 👍🏻
Use caution when utilising this magical technique on a woman though, for too much cake can cause an orgasm so powerful that she may spontaneously combust."
You've totally ignored flavour and size........ not one mention of cream |
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"All wimmin’ can be placated via the medium of cake; it’s a scientifically irrefutable fact.
Therefore by logic, gently rubbing said cake over her erogenous zones will cause her to have the world’s most powerful orgasm 👍🏻
Use caution when utilising this magical technique on a woman though, for too much cake can cause an orgasm so powerful that she may spontaneously combust.
You've totally ignored flavour and size........ not one mention of cream"
My goodness! Added cream is akin to unstable Sentex explosives when rubbing it over a woman’s bits and bobs. I’m just not that brave, Granny! 😜
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What Women Want...
For a man to actually listen when a woman is making the effort to tell him what she wants and needs; instead of pretending to listen, and thinking he knows better!
[Thankfully, this is no longer an issue in my life 😊] |
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By *lynJMan 4 weeks ago
Morden |
"The most effective method of clitoral stimulation is with two fingers, or the offer of a Greggs Steak Bake.
I'm not being judgey but they are a bit flakey for a clit session doncha think... crumbs everywhere and the grease ....."
But what about the steak bake? |
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"...what it is that women want."
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They want to be...
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...kept in suspense. |
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