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How does it all work?
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"Please explain in your own words how this sex thing is mean to work
It's all very confusing with all the parts and positions.
Much appreciated"
Shall I play to stereotype and describe missionary ? |
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The female lays flat on her back, she feels exposed whilst waiting in anticipation. The male licks his lips, tension grows, he can't wait any longer. She gasps as his wet, glistening pinky finger enters her left ear.
For fuck's sake, Barry  |
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"Please explain in your own words how this sex thing is mean to work
It's all very confusing with all the parts and positions.
Much appreciated
Shall I play to stereotype and describe missionary ?"
Fuck it. As you are not answering, I will play the part of a Gen Z couple with stratospheric hots for each other
Him/Her/They : Smile, Puts arm around her/his/theirs shoulders and whispers "chicken wings or pizza"
He/She/It : giggles and they walk to the chicken shop
They eat the chicken staring while they stare at the floor.
Their little fingers touch accidentally
He/She/It/They/Them/Those screams ... you fucking abuser I'm traumatised. I'll be a life time in therapy !
Sequel to follow .... |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"There's a pokey thing & a hole, you poke it in 3 times then wipe it on the curtains when you leave.
It's an issue if there are Venetian blinds"
How do you make a Venetian blind ?
Wipe your cock on his eyes ! |
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"There's a pokey thing & a hole, you poke it in 3 times then wipe it on the curtains when you leave.
It's an issue if there are Venetian blinds
How do you make a Venetian blind ?
Wipe your cock on his eyes !"
🤣😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"The female lays flat on her back, she feels exposed whilst waiting in anticipation. The male licks his lips, tension grows, he can't wait any longer. She gasps as his wet, glistening pinky finger enters her left ear.
For fuck's sake, Barry "
Aural sex ?  |
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"You + me - our clothes ÷ your legs and × (multiply)
A maths sex joke for those old enough to remember.
No socks allowed?
I like socks 🧦 😉 "
Exceptions can be made for knee length socks if you have incredible legs* |
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Inserting a 9-iron into my enchilada of love got me spritzing flange custard faster than a greased weasel shit. The mixture of Mr. Hanky and love mayonnaise in my shit winker created the delicious porthole pudding that he was so fond of. If I don't dial the rotary phone to get my spaff draining from my one slice toaster, his womb ferret is going to leave my spam castanets resembling a hippo's yawn. It was bliss having his skin flute stuffed inside me again; stuffing my smush mitten with a barbie doll just didn't get my cum dumpster spouting like it used to. The unrelenting orgasms from his love muscle plowing my Quimcy, M.E. made me come so hard, I began sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown. |
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That's gonna be stuck un my head now ffs.
