There's always so much talk about Winks being used or not. Who uses the 'Friends List on Profile' feature?
If it was displayed automatically or if a Friend displayed their list, would you still Friend them?
Would you think longer and harder before Friending on here?
Why? Is it the clashing social circle thing? Is it gatekeeping?
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Personally I don't display veris and wouldn't want friends showing. Because I be private and absolutely am gonna gatekeep my treasure 🤣 these kinda things take a lot of time and effort. Go get your own 😛😂 |
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It's there for a reason I suppose. Lots of people in the fab app development teams must have thought it held value.
But I've never seen it in use.
It'd be the same as friends/followers on social media.
Who do you know, who do I know, am I popular, etc.
Surprisingly not used on fab considering SM use by lots and other platforms. |
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By *eliWoman 2 weeks ago
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Don't know if it's gatekeeping, they're not a commodity. I don't have it displayed, wouldn't use it if it was essential because it's no one else's business bar mine.
I kind of think as friends on here as being not much more than seeing potential private photos. I still talk to people I know from Fab who don't have access to me with a cock down my throat. |
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I've been here five years, or thereabouts, and my friend list has rarely reached double figures. I'm just indifferent about it.
I've disabled it, and haven't fully grasped the point of that feature for others to see who my friends are. |
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"Don't know if it's gatekeeping, they're not a commodity. I don't have it displayed, wouldn't use it if it was essential because it's no one else's business bar mine.
I kind of think as friends on here as being not much more than seeing potential private photos. I still talk to people I know from Fab who don't have access to me with a cock down my throat."
Yes, mainly only use it to keep private pics for friends. I hotlist for those I want to chat and stay in touch with |
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There was a post on one of the other threads on here this weekend that encapsulates why folk should be wary of friends lists and verifications that are published.
Some people you may be aligned with get the hump if you associate with someone else (even in the past) that they don’t like, a different body type, a different sex.
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"There was a post on one of the other threads on here this weekend that encapsulates why folk should be wary of friends lists and verifications that are published.
Some people you may be aligned with get the hump if you associate with someone else (even in the past) that they don’t like, a different body type, a different sex.
"
*******
I think this is 100% true.
I'm conflicted re this part though.
It's a bit of an overlap to the bi debate that is a tough one to navigate also.
In normal (in person) life you'd never know a person's history. So why do we feel we should know it online. But people want to make informed choices. But where's the line between that and privacy...
But, also, I have been turned off people based on who they have history with. It speaks to their likes, preferences, personality, character, choices, etc.
Like a sexual version of 'you are what you eat'. |
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"There was a post on one of the other threads on here this weekend that encapsulates why folk should be wary of friends lists and verifications that are published.
Some people you may be aligned with get the hump if you associate with someone else (even in the past) that they don’t like, a different body type, a different sex.
"
I was thinking of exactly that thread as I read this one.
I think it’s probably about furthering the fostering of a community, as in - we’re friends so check out my friends to see if you also want to be friends (and I’ll do the same and then we can have a 16 person orgy with fluids everywhere).
But I actually do have good friends on fab who are good friends with people I dislike. I don’t begrudge them that but, if I were friends with someone who did begrudge me being friends with someone they themselves didn’t like, that might lead to them not wishing to associate with me anymore. Confused?!
You might well say “Well in that case they’re not true friends”, and you’d have a point. But people are fucken weird.
Anyway, I don’t display my friends list because you can all fuck right off. |
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"There's always so much talk about Winks being used or not. Who uses the 'Friends List on Profile' feature?
If it was displayed automatically or if a Friend displayed their list, would you still Friend them?
Would you think longer and harder before Friending on here?
Why? Is it the clashing social circle thing? Is it gatekeeping?
"
I didn't know the friends list on profile was actually a feature? Is this new?
I only have 4 people on mine anyway and they're people I've spoken to directly over a set time. Usually to discuss and write forum stories rather than anything else |
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I don't display my friends list. A former fwb was jealous of my friends and would go and look at their profiles to see what was going on, and was suspicious if one gave a veri even if it was just a picnic or a meal.
I like my friends and I like platonic friendships with Fabsters. |
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Saw that other thread there. People who mask behaviours eventually reveal their true selves. Lots of bullets dodged for sure.
But also, it's a positive thing to out the bad matches.
So maybe friend lists would be beneficial in that way 🤔
Pros and cons |
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I think it's partly about respecting your freinds privacy. Even if your ok with displaying your freinds list maybe not all your freinds are ok being shown on it.
Also displaying your freinds makes it feel a bit like a territorial pissing contest.
For us keeping our freinds list private feels more appropriate. |
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We think there is no right or wrong with regard to publicly displaying friends list or verifications. Couples / individuals have their own legitimate reasons for doing or not doing so. It’s not an issue for us either way. We don’t get hung about who does and doesn’t display friends / veris. If we decide to meet a couple it will be based on our own assessment as to whether or not they are a good match ( no doubt couples we show an initial interest in take the same approach). Basically treat the friends lists and veris with a pinch of salt.
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"Haven't been on much so missed that thread. Might have to go recce it 🙂
It was eye opening!
I missed this too
Me too, like to know what thread it was. "
I think it may have been this one about 'ruining your chances on Fab'
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https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1788541#message_43871253 |
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"Haven't been on much so missed that thread. Might have to go recce it 🙂
It was eye opening!
I missed this too
Me too, like to know what thread it was.
I think it may have been this one about 'ruining your chances on Fab'
.
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1788541#message_43871253"
Thanks  |
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"I think it's partly about respecting your freinds privacy. Even if your ok with displaying your freinds list maybe not all your freinds are ok being shown on it.
Also displaying your freinds makes it feel a bit like a territorial pissing contest.
For us keeping our freinds list private feels more appropriate."
It would be a bit of a sticking point for lots of folks. But if you see they display it, the worst that would happen would be declining a friend invite. I suppose you could add a permission to display on things like shared pics, veris too. |
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I keep my friends list private. And veris too, put of total respect, been on and off here for years, def not a competition, and saves my friends etc being bombarded with messages , from mostly timeeasters |
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By *oyoteUglyWoman 2 weeks ago
Somewhere dark and gloomy |
"There's always so much talk about Winks being used or not. Who uses the 'Friends List on Profile' feature?
If it was displayed automatically or if a Friend displayed their list, would you still Friend them?
Would you think longer and harder before Friending on here?
Why? Is it the clashing social circle thing? Is it gatekeeping?
"
I never had more than 10 friends anyway. And they are all hot so I wouldn't care so much if people saw it. But then again I only friend people I've met or have plans to meet. So I maybe would care, as people on here are nosey as fuck! |
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I dont display friends list or verifications.
I have displayed verifications in the past and my stalker ex created a fake profile using my pictures (whilst I was unlos from the site) and contacted everyone that had been on my veri list. Wanting to discuss what we had done etc. Luckily a couple of them found it strange and got in touch with me. Who I've met and who I'm talking to is nobody's business but mine  as it should be for everyone imo. |
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"Personally I don't display veris and wouldn't want friends showing. Because I be private and absolutely am gonna gatekeep my treasure 🤣 these kinda things take a lot of time and effort. Go get your own 😛😂"
Your whole profile is totally hidden most of the time, complete gate keeping! Lol
Mrs x |
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"I dont display friends list or verifications.
I have displayed verifications in the past and my stalker ex created a fake profile using my pictures (whilst I was unlos from the site) and contacted everyone that had been on my veri list. Wanting to discuss what we had done etc. Luckily a couple of them found it strange and got in touch with me. Who I've met and who I'm talking to is nobody's business but mine as it should be for everyone imo."
Omw unstable exs are such a torturous rag nail of a melt.
🫶
I hear you on the privacy 💯 |
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"Personally I don't display veris and wouldn't want friends showing. Because I be private and absolutely am gonna gatekeep my treasure 🤣 these kinda things take a lot of time and effort. Go get your own 😛😂
Your whole profile is totally hidden most of the time, complete gate keeping! Lol
Mrs x"
Me? WYM? I don't go in private hardly at all. I don't have veris up tho it's true.
Maybe you have me confused with some other sexy totty 😁😁😂😂😂 |
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"Personally I don't display veris and wouldn't want friends showing. Because I be private and absolutely am gonna gatekeep my treasure 🤣 these kinda things take a lot of time and effort. Go get your own 😛😂
Your whole profile is totally hidden most of the time, complete gate keeping! Lol
Mrs x
Me? WYM? I don't go in private hardly at all. I don't have veris up tho it's true.
Maybe you have me confused with some other sexy totty 😁😁😂😂😂"
🤣😂 |
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