FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Limericks (please add you own)
Limericks (please add you own)
Jump to: Newest in thread
There once was a fella from Dorset.
Shops in Tesco in nothing but a corset.
One day by the freezers.
He encountered three geezers.
Took two but the third had to force it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a lady called Dani
Who had many of man in her fanny
Style of corned beef
Public hair like a leaf
Sucks hard sweets like a Granny. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A man from the Forest of Dean
Invented a wanking machine
On the fortieth stroke
The bloody thing broke
And whipped up his balls into cream. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Bravo, Billabong and seductive 💕 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a woman, Brigitte.
Whose flaps swung down to her feet.
Once walking to work.
She decided to twerk.
And she squirted all over the street. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 09:26:37] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour her tits were a flower
And her fanny was covered in w*eds |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a lady from Kent,
That gave up cock for lent,
Her fanny closed shut,
She grew some nuts
And now he calls himself Brent |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
So she lay on her back
And fingered her crack
Till she squirted all over the ceiling |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a man from Dudley,
That thought he was rather studley,
But his dick was a choad,
And he couldn’t shoot his load,
So now he just accepts that he’s ugly |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a lady from Nantucket,
Who had a fanny the size of a bucket,
As deep as it was wide, no dick touched the sides,
And you needed a missile to fuck it |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
On a roll Billabong. Horny pics as well btw 😈 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Shit Owl. You're a limerick fiend 🤪 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
"Shit Owl. You're a limerick fiend 🤪"
I blame it on hip hop and ADHD |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from china
Who thought he was a good climber
He slipped on a rock
Cut off his cock
Now he has a vagina |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"On a roll Billabong. Horny pics as well btw 😈"
Cheers |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young woman from penzance
Who fell in a tram in a trance
Two passengers fucked her and so did the conductor
And the driver came twice in his pants |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Glad u didn't blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
One I know. Not made up by me
There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one." |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Upon the bridge stood the vicar of buckingham
Twidling his thumbs and sucking em
Watching the stunts of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks who were fucking em |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Harrow to you too Amigos 👋. Nice one |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a vicar from Gibraltar.
Whose libido had started to falter.
So he popped a Viagra.
Shot like the falls of Niagra.
And came all over the altar.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man made of cheese.
From his navel right down to his knees.
When he goes for a wee.
He pees Dairylea.
And he shits gorgonzola with ease. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
Some women have tits that are fat
Whilst others have ones that are flat
But whatever their ilk, I’ll stir up my milk
And over her tits I’ll go splat |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *vaRoseWoman 8 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
There was a young woman called Eva
Who had a remarkable beaver
It handled hard wood
As no other beast could
And left all the onlookers eager
*bows* |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
BrightonSteve was a vag inspector
Who liked to lick lady nectar
One day with a Miss
He said whats this?
She straddled and said ‘a litre of piss’
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
"There was a young woman called Eva
Who had a remarkable beaver
It handled hard wood
As no other beast could
And left all the onlookers eager
*bows*"
Cap well and truly dothed to you 👏 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My own composition:
A Bishop, a Priest and a Vicar,
Met a nun and and they plied her with liquor,
When they'd all had a turn,
They were saddened to learn,
That the Rabbi was longer and thicker. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Had to check out your pics after that Eva.....autobiographical?
Enn+Ell , Steve 🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm the king of the swingers yeh!
My dick swings from knee to knee!
If your Mrs had the chance!
She'd go ape for it, you'll see! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man called King Dong.
His member was ever so long.
He had a big prob.
When he tripped on his knob.
Whilst seeing the sights in Hong Kong.
Also made up a song entitled
"The all goes wrong for King Dong in Hong Kong song" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *r.ZeusMan 8 weeks ago
Basgiath War College |
There once was a trickster named Zeus,
With urges he couldn’t reduce,
He’d shift shape at will,
Give the ladies a thrill
And trust that his charm would seduce |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a fella from Bristol,
Who shot spunk from his cock like a pistol,
After a load to head his wife wound up dead and now he’s got a new girl called Chrystal |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from St Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp.
When they asked "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,
But I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet." |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A man called Steve was at work
He was a real life berk
He sneaked on to fab
So he could grab
Some time in the toilets for a jerk |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
She was only the admirals daughter
But her navel was a base for discharged semen. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a woman called Shiela, they called her the wicked revealed, with her tits on a plate she would stand at the gate whistling for her Ozzy blue healer. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a big bollocksed bull.
Who lived in field near Hull.
He saw a fit cow.
He said "That's my Frau (he was born in Heidleberg).
Relieved coz his ball sack was full.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?"
She said ‘can I suck as you blow your muck?’
To the man next to her. How rude! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
When venturing into the dungeon
It's not like a civilised luncheon
There's clamps, whips and chains
And administering pain
Is every Dom's favourite function |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?
She got a bit frisky.
As she sipped on her whisky.
And a shag with the neighbour ensued. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?
She got a bit frisky.
As she sipped on her whisky.
And a shag with the neighbour ensued."
Boom !! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a monk from Siberia,
Whose morals were a little inferior,
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And now she's a Mother Superior.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I said to myself one day "Fuck it!",
My cock's long enough to self suck it,
Wiping cum from my chin,
I thought with a grin,
If my ear was a cunt then I'd fuck it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A right hairy fucker from Bangor.
Did struggle to manage his anger.
Saw his wife with a man.
And the shit hit the fan.
Was her uncle...oops what a clanger. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
There once was a vicar from Preston
Who took out both balls and blessed them,
With a flash and a bang angelic music began as he called over a choir boy to caress them |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young dentist from Billing
Who could do many things for a shilling
With a flick of his wrist
He could have you in bliss
And finish you off with a filling |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady from Rhyll,
Who swallowed a dynamite pill;
Her bum went bang,
Her tits went clang,
And her fanny flew over the hill...
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A wanton young wench from Carlisle,
Practised sex like it was going out of style,
Her men gasped with surprise,
As she looked into their eyes,
And said "You can slide up either aisle!" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a bloke named Jay
Loved a good roll in the hay
Running through fields
Yes it's a big deal
Along with pm Teresa May |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There once was a lady called Dani
Who had many of man in her fanny
Style of corned beef
Public hair like a leaf
Sucks hard sweets like a Granny."
A woman self named as seductive
Decided to get all productive
She blamed Grannies for suckin'
When when we all know they're fuckin
Just blowin' which is counter productive! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady from Portway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway
She said to her man
Come look at me Sam
I think i’ve discovered a new way. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a wink and a stare,
That lingered and hung in the air.
With a kiss and a thrust,
And quite d*unk on lust,
We became quite the scandalous pair. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"BrightonSteve was a vag inspector
Who liked to lick lady nectar
One day with a Miss
He said whats this?
She straddled and said ‘a litre of piss’
"
There was a 'young' Steven from Brighton
Who insisted on leaving the lighton.
His whole plan backfired n
He never got 'sired'
Cos his partner got a huge frighton
His partner said ' Steve, Switch it off'
And galant young Steve gave a cough !
'If you hate how I look, then off you do fook!'
And he pushed her face down in a trough!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A fussy young man from Dundee,
Denied foreplay to his wife to be,
Although he enjoyed a fond kiss,
The problem was this,
Her fanny smelled like mature brie. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A woman who called herself Granny
Stood at the door with her fanny -
Poking out in the street
She thought it looked sweet
And she thought herself terribly canny
Cos each time she had sex
With Wonko or Rex
She stuck her fanwah under a downpour
The neighbours were pleased
To be taunted and teased
And begged Granny C for an encore. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a guy called steve
Granny told him to leave
She didn’t want the hassle
Of him lurking by the castle
Making her stomach heave |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Joe Bloggs had a big shiny car.
And liked driving around in a bra.
While eating a Snickers.
With one hand in his knickers.
Made a right mess in his new Jaguar. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There once was a guy called steve
Granny told him to leave
She didn’t want the hassle
Of him lurking by the castle
Making her stomach heave "
A Brightonian know only as Steve
Kept a few tricks up his sleeve
When Granny was dry
He's whip out a grease pie
And prepare good ole Gran to recieve |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm enjoying this way more than is healthy! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There once was a guy called steve
Granny told him to leave
She didn’t want the hassle
Of him lurking by the castle
Making her stomach heave
A Brightonian know only as Steve
Kept a few tricks up his sleeve
When Granny was dry
He's whip out a grease pie
And prepare good ole Gran to recieve "
A bloke who was as keen as mustard
Used a load of fresh cock custard
To sweeten her foofie
So that his toothy
Wouldn’t be caught off guard |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Can't believe we didn't see this classic yet...
There was a young man from Devizes,
His testes were two different sizes.
One was so small
It was no ball at all
But the other won several first prizes. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A friend told me one many years ago about a policeman who either had a small or flaccid penis, or both ... I don't remember. Nor do I remember the Limerick in toto, perhaps someone can complete it? What I do remember was....
"......
He decieved his wife
Every night of his life
With the judicious use of his truncheon" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A Bobby from Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of a constable's truncheon.
Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The sailor stood on the burning deck
Eating red hot scallops
One fell down his trouser leg
And burnt him on his ankle |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rAitchMan 8 weeks ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
There once was a nun from Madras
Who rolled with a monk in the grass
She lifted his smock
And tickled his cock
Till it foamed like a bottle of Bass |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rAitchMan 8 weeks ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in a lake
A bloke in a punt
Shoved his pole up her nose
And said "you can't swim here, it's private" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man on fab.
Who thought he’d get a quick shag.
After no replies.
He had tears in his eyes.
And thinks all woman are slags.
The mr |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *olo180Man 8 weeks ago
Greater London |
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10000 volts went up it’s arse
And turned its wool to nylon |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 18:38:55] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A Bobby from Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of a constable's truncheon.
Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys "
Yes, many thanks! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Most guys on fab seem quite alone,
Always sending dick picks from their phone,
With a fab and a wink,
And a quick little think,
They’d prefer to pull their own bone.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *alm_one4Man 8 weeks ago
Close To The Edge, Down Bi The River |
Roses are Red
I think your crackers
Bend over the table
And I’ll empty me knackers |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There are sad little twats on fabswingers,
Thinking it’s fun to call all women mingers,
If they don’t get their way,
Or a roll in the hay,
They must be Incel right-wingers.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a bloke on Fab
Whose cock was obscured by his flab.
He went to the gym
To try and get thin
But he gave up and got a kebab. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Another one of my own:
A cheeky young fella named Quentin,
Took a girl to the flat he was rentin'
He gave one solid push,
Of his knob, near her bush,
And before they both knew it, it went in. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Have to add my own original:
O limerick, thou noblest of verse,
With the merest five lines 'tis a curse
That your hum'rous levity
Should be hobbled by brevity,
But poor haikus come off even worse. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Have to add my own original:
O limerick, thou noblest of verse,
With the merest five lines 'tis a curse
That your hum'rous levity
Should be hobbled by brevity,
But poor haikus come off even worse."
Self-referential - I like it! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?"
There was a young lady from Bude,
Who enjoyed to sunbathe in the nude,
When a guy ran up quick,
And offered his dick,
She refused saying "Don't be so crude"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 21:20:56] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from Dundee,
Who had a cock right down to his knee.
When ever he whipped it out,
The ladies would scream and shout,
and say you are not using that thing on me.
Mr. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a girl from Australia,
Who tattooed her ass with a Dahlia,
But while tuppence a smell,
Went very well,
Thruppence a lick was a failure. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *wcoMan 8 weeks ago
West Midlands |
Joe signed up on Fab as a straight
And soon found a peculiar mate
He suffered a shock
When she showed him her cock
But he still ended up as her date
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Wow been a good day. Got enough for a book. Britain really has got talent. Keep them coming guys, been pissing myself at some if them 🤣🤪 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man called Bob
He was really proud of his knob
He showed it to a woman called Jill
Just to give her a thrill
She gave it a lick and a slob. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Have to add my own original:
O limerick, thou noblest of verse,
With the merest five lines 'tis a curse
That your hum'rous levity
Should be hobbled by brevity,
But poor haikus come off even worse."
Very well played!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A pissed up guy in Nantucket.
Saw a sheep and thought I'd sure like to fuck it.
All day he'd been drinking.
And then he got thinking.
Could someone please pass me a bucket. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Einstein, Hawkin and Babbage.
We're tasked to experiment on a cabbage.
Einstein found numbers prime.
Hawkin discoverd warped time.
And Babbage said "Guys! It's just a fuckin cabbage" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a Fab farmer from Shrule.
Unhappy with the price of fuel.
He blocked up the streets.
Missed out on some meets.
Now he's feeling a terrible fool.
⛽️🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜⛽️ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man called Toast.
His voice was of much to boast.
Along came Clem fandango.
With glasses the shade of mango.
And "Can you hear me?" Echoed like a ghost. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Hi Clem. I see you more of a Portia? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Whilst Titian mixed his rose madder
His model posed nude on a ladder
This position to Titian suggested coition
So he nipped up the ladder and had her |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Her tight gorgeous body
Her firm perfect tit's
She's walking round naked, giving me fits
Driving me wild, I can hardly cope
I really should throw away this damp telescope....... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Out of the blue, come bookmarking hits
Why do they need, all of these shits
Simples follow a thread
Use the brain in your head
Just dumping bookmarks is deffo the pits
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I once fucked a girl in a cab.
So fat, I felt like Captain Ahab.
As I went down to lick her.
Now I'm not a nit picker.
But her cunt smelt like a donner kebab |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Limericks are best when they’re funny
A good laugh is right on the money.
It’s good when they’re rude
No need to be crude
So give it your best shot dear bunny. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a guy from Porthmadog.
Who had an affair with a haddock.
The wife didn't mind.
And in the end I did find.
That she'd been shagging a horse in the paddock. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a lad with no winky.
He’d lost it when too much to drink, he
Put it in a machine,
Ripped his manhood off clean.
Thats the last time he did something kinky |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A randy young man from Bombay
Fashioned a fanny from clay
The heat from his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And chafed all his foreskin away |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This is a crack that never heals
The more you rub it
The better it feels |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man named Ronin,
Whose hobbies were oddly well-known in
A fondness, for he
Liked t-shirts soaked in the sea,
Which left him grinning while sticking his bone in.
💦👕 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Once dated a woman with no teeth.
Quite strangely her first name was Keith.
We went straight to bed.
And the back of her head.
Looked just like a map of Broadheath. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rAitchMan 8 weeks ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
There once was a young woman called Grace
Whose corsets would no longer lace
Her mother, Nellie
Said "there's more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
On a website known as Fabswingers
A question determinedly lingers:
Shaved, trimmed or bush?
It gets asked so much
It's hard to believe anyone ever gets fingered! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oxy-RedWoman 8 weeks ago
pink panther territory |
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the window sill
To see if they would fuck  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Foxy Red had a lamb and a duck.
She wondered if they wanted to fuck.
She waited for years.
Had to hold back the tears.
When in the oven went the lamb and the duck. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oxy-RedWoman 8 weeks ago
pink panther territory |
"Foxy Red had a lamb and a duck.
She wondered if they wanted to fuck.
She waited for years.
Had to hold back the tears.
When in the oven went the lamb and the duck."
😆😆,love it |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, wiping cum from his chin
If my face was a fanny I'd fuck it! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I once had a girl friend called Angie.
Who thought I was rather Randy.
My name was Pete
So she called me sweet
And we didn't tell Andy Pandy |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I often saw her little lamb
But never saw her bare |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a young man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, wiping cum from his chin
If my face was a fanny I'd fuck it!"
I told you that in confidence and asked you not to tell anyone 🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young woman named White,
Found herself in a terrible plight,
A mucker named Tucker
He struck her, the f*cker
The bugger the bastard the shite! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Not a limerick, but!
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
Every time the lamb got out
The sheepdog tried to catch it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a pussy
I often saw her little lamb
But never saw her pussy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a girl from Australia,
Who tattoo'd her ass with a Dahlia,
While tuppence a smell
Went very well,
Thruppence a lick was a failure. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I just came up with this...
A swinger who loved sucking dicks
Once managed a hundred and six
They all had a race
To shoot over her face
You can see it on page one of hot pics |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You're on a roll _partharmony. Keep em cumming x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Pussy,pussy,pussy
Yum,yum,yum
In out, in out
Cum,cum,cum |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young guy from Ghent
Whose cock was at right angles bent
To save himself trouble
He stuffed it in double
And instead of cumming he went. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I live in Limerick beat that 😁🟢⚪ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a Fabber from Limerick.
With rhyming words he was ever so quick.
However one fatal day
He totally lost his way
And now he totally can't think of rhyming words to save his life.
Ooops....it's catching
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I once had a wank in the sea.
Forgot about it for 2 months or 3.
Then from the waves it walked out.
Half human half trout.
And fuck did it look just like me. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *DAndieTV/TS 8 weeks ago
Kingussie |
There was a man from Dundee
Who came home as d*unk as could be
He wound up the clock with the end of his cock
And buggered his wife with the key |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
She asked me to kiss her, I had to assist her, one thing lead to another now I'm deep in her shitter! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a lady from Morton
Who had a big tit and a short one
To make up this loss
Shed a big hairy doss
And a fart like a 500 Norton
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Old mother hubbard
Went to her cupboard
To fetch poor rover a bone
As she bent over
Up popped rover
And gave her a bone of his own.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
And in stormy weather
They'd both clang together
Causing sparks to fly out of his arse |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I once knew a lass call Mary ,
Who’s fanny was big and hairy ,
I fucked her standing , fucked her lying , if she had wings I would have fucked her flying ,
But now she’s dead and forgotten ,
So I dug her up and fucked get rotten |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from Southwick.
Who had an exceptionally large, girthy dick.
Whoever he was shaggin.
Started invariably naggin.
And would have to beat him off with a stick. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
And in stormy weather
They'd both clang together
Causing sparks to fly out of his arse"
" 🤣🤣🤣 brilliant "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour her tits were a flower
And her fanny was covered in w*eds"
😂😂😂😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a runner named Dwight Who could speed even faster than light. He set out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
So Stanners he lives in the sticks And he loved to compose limericks But he failed at his sport They were always too short... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a woman named Jill, who swallowed an exploding pill.
They found her vagina, in North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I once had sex with a minor.
We hooked up in a cheap roadside diner.
And while we were frigging.
He could only talk about digging.
Ooops, must really learn how to spell miner.
(He was 36 btw) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young witch called Mabel,
who's periods were tremendously stable,
with the aid of a spoon,
by the light of the moon,
she drank herself under the table. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady called Mabel
Who had grand cock milking table
Many guys through her door
Much more than a score
The income she made was a fable
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Poor young Billy had a four foot willy
And he showed to the ladies next door
They thought it was a snake
So they hit it with a rake
And now it’s only one foot four. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Whenever I visit Fabswingers
I'm often confronted by mingers
But not in the Forum
There's always a quorum
Of bona fide ring-a-ding dingers! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"So Stanners he lives in the sticks And he loved to compose limericks But he failed at his sport They were always too short..."
He has to get out of this fix |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Whenever I visit fabswingers
I am often confronted with mingers
Not just on this forum
There’s always a moron
I’m tempted to stick up two fingers!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oxy-RedWoman 8 weeks ago
pink panther territory |
You put your willy in
You pull your willy out
And then you shake it all about
She gets on her knees
And you moan yes please
And that's what it's all about |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Oh Hokey Cokey y,
We all love a good pokey,
Put you right tit out
Your left tit out
Friction can make it smokey. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *adboys2Couple (MM) 7 weeks ago
North |
There was a young man surnamed Carter
Who played with his young ladies garter
She said, I don’t mind
But higher you’ll find
The place of my pisser and farter! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour her tits were a flower
And her fanny was covered in w*eds"
Classic..😆 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a guy from Madras.
TV remote got stuck right up his ass.
Now he's been boasing for weeks.
When he clenches his cheeks.
He can flick through the channels en masse.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a hot lady from Devon,
Who's body was absolute heaven,
With creme eggs galore,
We're left wanting mare,
And I'd give her an inch or seven. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Whenever I visit fabswingers
I am often confronted with mingers
Not just on this forum
There’s always a moron
I’m tempted to stick up two fingers!
"
An old bloke called George once said Mingers
The insult, like a bad smell, still lingers
He now stands no chance
In his maroon underpants
He needs more thought about voicing his zingers!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Whenever I visit Fabswingers
I'm often confronted by mingers
But not in the Forum
There's always a quorum
Of bona fide ring-a-ding dingers!"
A bloke known as Li-ai-son-seeker
Was known as an internet peeker
He liked what he saw
And hung round for more
Till he became ,a world champ, tit tweeker! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a hot lady from Devon,
Who's body was absolute heaven,
With creme eggs galore,
We're left wanting mare,
And I'd give her an inch or seven."
  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The thing about mingers you know
They crop up where ever you go
When they get upset
It’s a pretty fair bet
They know what l mean in this flow. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
If Fab was restricted to women
It would cause major indecision
Who'd tribute the hotwives
- Who've devoted their whole lives -
To cuckoldry as their main mission? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronical ball
The cube of its weight
Times the square root
Plus 8
Was 4/5th’s of 3/8th’s
Of f**k all |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Therw was a young chap in the forum
Whose cock was spectacularly awesome
You could see it from space
So imagine his face
When the women told him that it bored them |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a bloke from Bombay.
One day his own balls he did weigh.
The scales went and broke.
And they started to smoke.
So he had to buy a new one next pay day. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a man in Dundee
He went into the woods for a pee
Slipped in his hurry
His sporran got mucky
And shite all up to his knee |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a young lady called Heather.
Who had a vagina like leather.
She attracted the boys.
By making a noise.
By slapping the edges together. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *tms1xCouple 5 weeks ago
Chelmsford |
There was a young man from swaffam
Who took out his balls to wash em
His mother said “Jack”
If you don’t put them back
I’ll tread on the fuckers and squash em |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was an old woman from Crewe who got stuck in the outside loo.
She pushed and she shoved,
And from heaven above,
The doors opened whilst having a poo
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was an old woman from Crewe who got stuck in the outside loo.
She pushed and she shoved,
And from heaven above,
The doors opened whilst having a poo
"
"
A gorgeous Tgirl called Stella.
Met a well hung athletic fit fella.
She had a bit of a shock.
When he put on her frock.
And said hi there...my name's Nigella "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A lovely old lady from Dover
Wanted to find a good lover
She tried them, all sizes
From Kent to Devizes
Best of them all was her brother. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a girl from Caerphilly
Who loved playing and teasing a willy
So many to choose
Nothing to lose
But willies do shrink when it’s chilly |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There once was a man from Leeds
A fan of his wife he let's breed
Big cream pies
and a glint in her eyes
His job is to wipe jizz from her knees. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was and old geezer from Kent
Who loved having sex in a tent
Camping is fun
When you find the right one
And you both end up being content |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *AJMLKTV/TS 3 weeks ago
Burley |
A fat hairy guy on Fab,
decided to learn how to dab.
To impress a fat chick
to ride on his dick
And wobble her boobies and flab. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You can tell such a lot from a rhyme
How people might feel at that time
Some rhymers are crude
Other less rude
But it’s better than having a whine.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You can spot a good rhymer from go
Balancing syllables makes it flow
just getting it right
Might take you all night
But getting it wrong is a blow.
That’s something for sure that l know! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
As we come to the end, of the limerick thread
We’ll miss it no doubt, it gets in yer head
Enough is enough, some folks might say
Save all your rhymes, they’ll keep for today
So night night dear rhymers it’s soon time for bed
The thought of yet more, just fills us with dread. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *erdyHollyTV/TS 3 weeks ago
In a galaxy far far away |
There once was a man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
Wiping spunk off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
