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Limericks (please add you own)
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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There once was a man from Dudley,
That thought he was rather studley,
But his dick was a choad,
And he couldn’t shoot his load,
So now he just accepts that he’s ugly |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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There once was a lady from Nantucket,
Who had a fanny the size of a bucket,
As deep as it was wide, no dick touched the sides,
And you needed a missile to fuck it |
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One I know. Not made up by me
There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one." |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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"There was a young woman called Eva
Who had a remarkable beaver
It handled hard wood
As no other beast could
And left all the onlookers eager
*bows*"
Cap well and truly dothed to you 👏 |
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There once was a man called King Dong.
His member was ever so long.
He had a big prob.
When he tripped on his knob.
Whilst seeing the sights in Hong Kong.
Also made up a song entitled
"The all goes wrong for King Dong in Hong Kong song" |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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There once was a fella from Bristol,
Who shot spunk from his cock like a pistol,
After a load to head his wife wound up dead and now he’s got a new girl called Chrystal |
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"There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?
She got a bit frisky.
As she sipped on her whisky.
And a shag with the neighbour ensued."
Boom !! |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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There once was a vicar from Preston
Who took out both balls and blessed them,
With a flash and a bang angelic music began as he called over a choir boy to caress them |
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"There once was a lady called Dani
Who had many of man in her fanny
Style of corned beef
Public hair like a leaf
Sucks hard sweets like a Granny."
A woman self named as seductive
Decided to get all productive
She blamed Grannies for suckin'
When when we all know they're fuckin
Just blowin' which is counter productive! |
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"BrightonSteve was a vag inspector
Who liked to lick lady nectar
One day with a Miss
He said whats this?
She straddled and said ‘a litre of piss’
"
There was a 'young' Steven from Brighton
Who insisted on leaving the lighton.
His whole plan backfired n
He never got 'sired'
Cos his partner got a huge frighton
His partner said ' Steve, Switch it off'
And galant young Steve gave a cough !
'If you hate how I look, then off you do fook!'
And he pushed her face down in a trough!
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A woman who called herself Granny
Stood at the door with her fanny -
Poking out in the street
She thought it looked sweet
And she thought herself terribly canny
Cos each time she had sex
With Wonko or Rex
She stuck her fanwah under a downpour
The neighbours were pleased
To be taunted and teased
And begged Granny C for an encore. |
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"There once was a guy called steve
Granny told him to leave
She didn’t want the hassle
Of him lurking by the castle
Making her stomach heave "
A Brightonian know only as Steve
Kept a few tricks up his sleeve
When Granny was dry
He's whip out a grease pie
And prepare good ole Gran to recieve |
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"There once was a guy called steve
Granny told him to leave
She didn’t want the hassle
Of him lurking by the castle
Making her stomach heave
A Brightonian know only as Steve
Kept a few tricks up his sleeve
When Granny was dry
He's whip out a grease pie
And prepare good ole Gran to recieve "
A bloke who was as keen as mustard
Used a load of fresh cock custard
To sweeten her foofie
So that his toothy
Wouldn’t be caught off guard |
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Can't believe we didn't see this classic yet...
There was a young man from Devizes,
His testes were two different sizes.
One was so small
It was no ball at all
But the other won several first prizes. |
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A friend told me one many years ago about a policeman who either had a small or flaccid penis, or both ... I don't remember. Nor do I remember the Limerick in toto, perhaps someone can complete it? What I do remember was....
"......
He decieved his wife
Every night of his life
With the judicious use of his truncheon" |
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A Bobby from Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of a constable's truncheon.
Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys |
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"A Bobby from Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of a constable's truncheon.
Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys "
Yes, many thanks! |
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"Have to add my own original:
O limerick, thou noblest of verse,
With the merest five lines 'tis a curse
That your hum'rous levity
Should be hobbled by brevity,
But poor haikus come off even worse."
Self-referential - I like it! |
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"There was a young lady from Bude
Who liked to sunbathe in the nude
…….. anyone feel free to continue?"
There was a young lady from Bude,
Who enjoyed to sunbathe in the nude,
When a guy ran up quick,
And offered his dick,
She refused saying "Don't be so crude"
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"Have to add my own original:
O limerick, thou noblest of verse,
With the merest five lines 'tis a curse
That your hum'rous levity
Should be hobbled by brevity,
But poor haikus come off even worse."
Very well played!! |
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"There was a young man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, wiping cum from his chin
If my face was a fanny I'd fuck it!"
I told you that in confidence and asked you not to tell anyone 🤣 |
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There once was a Fabber from Limerick.
With rhyming words he was ever so quick.
However one fatal day
He totally lost his way
And now he totally can't think of rhyming words to save his life.
Ooops....it's catching
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I once knew a lass call Mary ,
Who’s fanny was big and hairy ,
I fucked her standing , fucked her lying , if she had wings I would have fucked her flying ,
But now she’s dead and forgotten ,
So I dug her up and fucked get rotten |
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