FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Want to get the opinion of the ladies.....
Want to get the opinion of the ladies.....
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Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers |
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By *inkShyWoman 6 weeks ago
near Windsor |
Why should the blame be on the woman for deciding enough is enough? Doesn't mean she doesn't "give a fuck", it means a line had been crossed.
I'd walk away, I don't let drugs into my life any sense. |
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"Why should the blame be on the woman for deciding enough is enough? Doesn't mean she doesn't "give a fuck", it means a line had been crossed.
I'd walk away, I don't let drugs into my life any sense."
Spot on  |
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"Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers "
I’d probably leave and only consider returning when he’s actually got help and is sober. A good decent man doesn’t do the drugs. This isn’t on her. |
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I don't think being a "good, decent woman" means standing by a dickhead, whatever form his dick-headery takes.
In your friend's case, maybe she's just had enough and doesn't want to risk a third "mistake". I wouldn't blame her. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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Drug are a different game, nobody has to stand by and ruin their own life for anyone. The person in question is destroying more than one life, they should walk away themselves if they thought anything of this lady. |
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"Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers "
Obviously I’m not a lady but it sounds like you’re trying to minimise and rationalise what you’ve done. You’re angry at yourself for doing it and for crossing a line with your partner but are deflecting onto her reaction.
It isn’t fair to attack her as being not decent. This is on you. Own it. |
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"Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers
Obviously I’m not a lady but it sounds like you’re trying to minimise and rationalise what you’ve done. You’re angry at yourself for doing it and for crossing a line with your partner but are deflecting onto her reaction.
It isn’t fair to attack her as being not decent. This is on you. Own it."
This. Women are expected to put up with all kinds of shit that wouldn’t be tolerated the other way round. |
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"So the fact he's always been there for her when she's needed it when she was on her knees he was the only one who stepped up to help her in her hour of need your all still dropping the guy?
Wow!!
"
You didn’t need to do that either 🤷🏽♀️ |
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I don't think a decent woman would forgive someone for bringing the risks of criminal liability to their house at least twice.
I think a decent woman would stand up for herself, her financial security, her children if she has any, and tell her now ex partner to sort his shit out and get out of her fucking sight. |
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"Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers
Obviously I’m not a lady but it sounds like you’re trying to minimise and rationalise what you’ve done. You’re angry at yourself for doing it and for crossing a line with your partner but are deflecting onto her reaction.
It isn’t fair to attack her as being not decent. This is on you. Own it."
Nothing to do with me PAL I don't have a girlfriend mate so let's get that one straight |
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By *inkShyWoman 6 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"So the fact he's always been there for her when she's needed it when she was on her knees he was the only one who stepped up to help her in her hour of need your all still dropping the guy?
Wow!!
"
Doesn't matter. She isn't beholden to you because you helped her. Did you help her because you are a 'good and decent' man, or did you help her knowing she would owe you in the future and you assumed she'd overlook dickish behaviour?
Your drugs, your problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"So the fact he's always been there for her when she's needed it when she was on her knees he was the only one who stepped up to help her in her hour of need your all still dropping the guy?
Wow!!
"
He hasn't always been there, he has twice ruined her life with these 2 drug incidents. He has no care for her to humiliate her and is manipulative if he brings out the I always support you card. He is nasty and won't change. She needs to get out now. |
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"So the fact he's always been there for her when she's needed it when she was on her knees he was the only one who stepped up to help her in her hour of need your all still dropping the guy?
Wow!!
"
Yup. As a decent woman, as you've put it, I've never brought the risk of criminal liability to my family, let alone twice.
Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you. |
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By *Effy-Woman 6 weeks ago
Scotland |
I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs. I've seen first hand what they do to someone and how that in turn affects the people around them.
Jeopardising your relationship by making the same mistake isn't something a good partner would do.
Choosing to protect yourself and walk away from someone making terrible life choices doesn't make them a bad person at all.
Your "friend" is the only one who can help himself if thats what he truly wants. No one can put their recovery on the shoulders of someone else.
|
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By *viatrixWoman 6 weeks ago
Back in Surrey, Dahlings! |
I have zero tolerance for the use of any drugs or addictions. From something as simple as smoking tobacco to other kinds of addiction.
So I wouldn’t even have given a first chance. Sorry. |
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"I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs. I've seen first hand what they do to someone and how that in turn affects the people around them.
Jeopardising your relationship by making the same mistake isn't something a good partner would do.
Choosing to protect yourself and walk away from someone making terrible life choices doesn't make them a bad person at all.
Your "friend" is the only one who can help himself if thats what he truly wants. No one can put their recovery on the shoulders of someone else.
"
Agreed. Enabling someone in their addiction might make things worse in the long run. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 6 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
Let’s get this right
It’s 2 times he’s been caught, not 2 times that he’s used.
No I wouldn’t support him, in fact the best support he could get is to be given professional help away from the environment that was supporting his lies and habit |
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So many red flags here.
Substance abuse is an issue. The way the post is written as it's her fault and the passive aggressive tone is worrying. Not liking being told what to think either.
I believe this guy has got a lot of work on him to do and should respect that that's something he's got to do. |
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Why would a woman only be considered 'decent' if she stood by a man who was clearly not 'decent' and couldn't learn his lesson the first time around.
His actions have probably impacted everyone he claims to care about, yet he had no thought for them when carrying out those actions. So I don't understand what justification he would have for expecting someone he doesn't care about, to give a flying fuck about him.
That said, if the woman was foolish enough to still care, I think a 'decent' woman - i.e. one who cares as much about her own wellbeing as her partner's - would apply some tough love, by walking away but being prepared to return once his actions have borne out his desire to change and prove he actually does care about her. |
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By *Effy-Woman 6 weeks ago
Scotland |
"I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs. I've seen first hand what they do to someone and how that in turn affects the people around them.
Jeopardising your relationship by making the same mistake isn't something a good partner would do.
Choosing to protect yourself and walk away from someone making terrible life choices doesn't make them a bad person at all.
Your "friend" is the only one who can help himself if thats what he truly wants. No one can put their recovery on the shoulders of someone else.
Agreed. Enabling someone in their addiction might make things worse in the long run."
100% and that's why people shouldn't be made to feel guilty for distancing themselves from it.
You can care about someone and still recognise that their choices aren't something you have to live with or support. |
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Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there. |
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"Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there."
she knew of his problem when they got together and never had a problem then!! All of a sudden it is now? Never has she said he needs to give up or she's off she never had no problem with it at the beginning he never lied to her or hid it |
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"So if it's not you, why ask? Do you think this is an ethics class?"
Because it's a public(ish) forum, the lounge is specifically to talk about all kinds of shit. Regardless of the content of the post it's actually a refreshing change of thread to the usual crop of threads.
Again, somebody makes a somewhat unique thread/topic and it's shit on for being just that.
Far better than the "user above" slop repeated for the endless time. |
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"Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there.
she knew of his problem when they got together and never had a problem then!! All of a sudden it is now? Never has she said he needs to give up or she's off she never had no problem with it at the beginning he never lied to her or hid it"
You're adding information we didn't have.
Assuming what you're saying is true - you've got a lot of information for someone who isn't in the relationship - someone is entitled to change their mind and decide that enough is enough. Particularly for a problem that could result in criminal liability and serious health consequences. |
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By *inkShyWoman 6 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"Thanks for all of your input people, I just wanted to get opinions and iv got that now thanks all have a good evening "
I'm quite invested in this. Is it real, or just a hypothetical question? |
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"So if it's not you, why ask? Do you think this is an ethics class?
Because it's a public(ish) forum, the lounge is specifically to talk about all kinds of shit. Regardless of the content of the post it's actually a refreshing change of thread to the usual crop of threads.
Again, somebody makes a somewhat unique thread/topic and it's shit on for being just that.
Far better than the "user above" slop repeated for the endless time. "
Exactly this thank you my friend |
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"Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there.
she knew of his problem when they got together and never had a problem then!! All of a sudden it is now? Never has she said he needs to give up or she's off she never had no problem with it at the beginning he never lied to her or hid it"
Ah, the slow drip feed of information. It doesn’t make people’s earlier opinions based on what you originally said wrong. |
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To be honest op for you to day he was found with drugs in his system seems to say he is going against his work rules or some kind of bail conditions
People dont just "find,,"drugs in the system so.more fool.them |
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By *CExeCouple 6 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Sounds like a selfish loser who only thinks of himself and is now seeing himself as a victim and trying to emotionally manipulate the woman into staying, despite having made the exact same mistake before. Fool me once and all that. I have zero tolerance for drugs or people playing the victim instead of taking accountability for their actions. |
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"He sounds like a fucking loser.
Drop-kick him off a cliff.
•
 My dear Ele', your eloquence sometimes disappears, never to be seen again, like Edmond Dantès' dispatch to the Château d'If ! "
Eventually it will reappear then. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"He sounds like a fucking loser.
Drop-kick him off a cliff.
•
My dear Ele', your eloquence sometimes disappears, never to be seen again, like Edmond Dantès' dispatch to the Château d'If ! "
He deserves no eloquence, no regard, and no respect. It's the behaviour of a weak man with no self-control. |
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By *Effy-Woman 6 weeks ago
Scotland |
"Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there.
she knew of his problem when they got together and never had a problem then!! All of a sudden it is now? Never has she said he needs to give up or she's off she never had no problem with it at the beginning he never lied to her or hid it"
From the information given, it sounds like the drug taking is becoming a bigger issue than it once was. Possibly interfering with work or something similar.
Everyone has a breaking point. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?"
This is more new information.
If true - it might be too little, too late. People have breaking points, and "partner being caught with drugs twice" is eminently reasonable. |
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"Relationships are complicated. Drugs are a dangerous game, whatever type they may be. The person with the addiction should take accountability and get themselves the help they need. As for the other person in the relationship, it's their choice to stay or go. And that choice has to be respected. Even if it's the choice your friend doesn't want/like. Some people are ride or die. Everyone has a line that they won't tolerate being crossed. If this is one of them, it's been crossed twice. Support is important in every relationship, so are healthy boundaries. It's up to the two adults in the relationship to make a decision and go from there.
she knew of his problem when they got together and never had a problem then!! All of a sudden it is now? Never has she said he needs to give up or she's off she never had no problem with it at the beginning he never lied to her or hid it
Ah, the slow drip feed of information. It doesn’t make people’s earlier opinions based on what you originally said wrong."
OP your words are coming across as very angry/emotional. I suggest taking a few deep breaths. It's not you, it's your friend, remember?
It's up to your friend and his partner to make a decision together. If they disagree, then they part ways. That's a part of life. Sometimes a peron has had enough and wants to walk away. The other party has to respect that.
Life is complicated and we as humans change our opinions/minds throughout our lives. They need to have a serious conversation about this. Maybe even seek professional help as others have suggested. Maybe couples therapy too as well as private help for your friend to overcome his addiction.You can support your friend by being there for him. If you want to. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance"
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion |
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I feel like she gave him a chance first time. Maybe he'll learn that actions have consequences and maybe her leaving him will give him the kick up the backside he really needs. No way I'd stick by someone willing to take such risks. Life is hard enough without having a partner like that. That's me being kind and decent to myself and my family. |
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By *Effy-Woman 6 weeks ago
Scotland |
"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
You're not wrong for needing support, but the other person isn't obliged to provide it. |
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By *inkShyWoman 6 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
And what happens when the drugs cause a further problem, a medical episode, and he ends up needing care for life. She would be trapped because if she ever left she'd be 'cruel', but he would have shit on her future for being an idiot drug user. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
No one is acting perfect. But people are allowed to draw boundaries - she didn’t need to warn him beforehand. She has drawn a boundary due to his behaviour. She’s entitled to do that. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has weaknesses, flaws and issues. It's how we deal with them that counts. Supporting someone through a difficult time is a noble thing. However, it's not obligatory. Loyalty is not a given these days. Addiction is a dangerous game. Everyone has a breaking point. Be there for your friend and support him. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
Why should she warn him? Did he not think taking dru*s was a stupid thing to do that might jeopardise his relationship?
You seem very invested in this hypothetical situation. I'm sorry the hypothetical person is struggling. I'd suggest they seek professional help if they really want to get clean, but not look to pass the blame to their ex girlfriend for making what seems like a sensible choice for her. It's her life, she can choose to live it however she wants, with whoever she wants. She owes the hypothetical person nothing, I'm afraid. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
He's been caught with drugs in his system twice, putting his health at risk and himself at risk of prosecution and all the problems that come with that.
By definition, he has not done everything a man should do for their partner - keeping themselves safe and out of legal trouble is an important thing a person should do for their partner.
I agree people should have support in hard times. Support does not mean a guaranteed relationship. I hope he gets the rehabilitative help he needs, and she has support from the hard time of discovering that her ex isn't getting his shit together. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion "
Is his partner a professional addiction counsellor? Is she qualified in any way to deal with what he's been doing?
Your friend needs specialist support.
You are not in their relationship. You don't know whether he was all the things you say he was/is. Are you sure his actions have not had a negative effect?
Until you get her side of the story, this is coming across as very biased.
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight "
Good for him. I wish him well.
Tell him to let his ex go and get himself sorted. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion
Is his partner a professional addiction counsellor? Is she qualified in any way to deal with what he's been doing?
Your friend needs specialist support.
You are not in their relationship. You don't know whether he was all the things you say he was/is. Are you sure his actions have not had a negative effect?
Until you get her side of the story, this is coming across as very biased.
"
Even if his partner is an addiction counsellor, there are usually pretty strict rules saying you shouldn't get involved with people you're close to, because you can't be objective.
She can't possibly have signed up for this - and even if she did, there's no way to sign up permanently. She could well have had enough.
I'm stunned that "serious health consequences" and "potential prosecution" are made ok by... kindness?
I don't care how kind someone has been - risking the kinds of things drugs risks, no kindness overrides that. |
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight "
You keep saying goodnight. You can put your phone down if you want to, you don't need our permission. |
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I know both of them very very well they're both my freinds so not biased at all iv known them both same amount of time so he's no more a mate of mine than she is....
Need to go bed now gotta stop coming back to read more comments haha |
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight "
Try 'reply and quote' so it's clear as to which post you are responding. |
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"Is not him making huge efforts to now get himself sorted not taking accountability?He should of got sorted the first time, she gave him one chance
But she never warned him if he got caught again she's off she just went along with him carrying on and never batted an eyelid still took all his kindness and love and support she always gets from him.... what he does never had a negative impact he works he does all the things he should do as a man should for his woman, everyone on here acting like their perfect is a joke no one is and I belive ppl need support when their in tough times that's my opinion
Is his partner a professional addiction counsellor? Is she qualified in any way to deal with what he's been doing?
Your friend needs specialist support.
You are not in their relationship. You don't know whether he was all the things you say he was/is. Are you sure his actions have not had a negative effect?
Until you get her side of the story, this is coming across as very biased.
Even if his partner is an addiction counsellor, there are usually pretty strict rules saying you shouldn't get involved with people you're close to, because you can't be objective.
She can't possibly have signed up for this - and even if she did, there's no way to sign up permanently. She could well have had enough.
I'm stunned that "serious health consequences" and "potential prosecution" are made ok by... kindness?
I don't care how kind someone has been - risking the kinds of things drugs risks, no kindness overrides that."
I agree, it would be unethical to support someone known to us in a professional capacity. It was more to make the point that none of us are equipped to deal with situations of this nature in our private lives.
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"I know both of them very very well they're both my freinds so not biased at all iv known them both same amount of time so he's no more a mate of mine than she is....
Need to go bed now gotta stop coming back to read more comments haha"
So why only present his side? What's her perspective on the whole situation? |
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By *essTTWoman 6 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Ladies...
You have a partner who's a very good guy he works hard he treats you well he's always there if u need him he's a good man.
But he's been in trouble once for having certain drugs in his system and now he's been caught again after getting let off last time and now he is in real trouble, off course you would give him a good pasting about why he never learned his lesson the 1st time but now he really wants to get it sorted because the 2nd time has hit him hard and now he really wants to sort himself out....
Ladies are you supporting him in his efforts or are you just blasting him and dropping him and telling him you don't give a fuck and leave him to deal with it on his own when clearly he's struggling?
My opinion is any good decent woman would stick by him, just want to know what Ladies would really think
Cheers "
A 'decent woman' would stick by him but a 'decent man' wouldn't mess around with drugs in the first place surely?
I guess I'm indecent cause I wouldn't be involved with someone who took drugs in the first place never mind put my life on hold while he goes to prison for it
Eff that |
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight
You keep saying goodnight. You can put your phone down if you want to, you don't need our permission.
"
Bore off please you obviously don't know how to comment respectfully
We can all have our views without getting rude |
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By *inkShyWoman 6 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"I know both of them very very well they're both my freinds so not biased at all iv known them both same amount of time so he's no more a mate of mine than she is....
Need to go bed now gotta stop coming back to read more comments haha"
If you aren't biased can we please have her side of the story? |
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight
You keep saying goodnight. You can put your phone down if you want to, you don't need our permission.
Bore off please you obviously don't know how to comment respectfully
We can all have our views without getting rude "
I'm not being rude.
If you want to go to bed, go to bed. No one is stopping you.
I've presented my view perfectly politely. |
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"Ahh but he is he's taken steps already to sort himself out i personally think that is him taking accountability and doing something about it...
But that's my opinion
Goodnight
You keep saying goodnight. You can put your phone down if you want to, you don't need our permission.
Bore off please you obviously don't know how to comment respectfully
We can all have our views without getting rude
I'm not being rude.
If you want to go to bed, go to bed. No one is stopping you.
I've presented my view perfectly politely."
If that's your polite wow!!
Don't come across very polite to me tbh
Listen im gonna leave u all to debate amongst yourselves now I'm up at 3am for work if I could close the thread I would but I can't
Good luck all |
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I'd need to know more, including why I've not been communicated with fully, what he's learned or didn't from the 1st time, what has been behind this repetition and the full details.
Trust must be earned and just having a man who does the absolute minimum of what he should do, isn't enough |
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I had similar situation with my first wife ,but it was her that had the problem ,there was no way I would not try to help her ,the mother of our children ,it was very hard but I stood by her ,luckily she got better ,a few times relapsed ,now how she was before addiction ,we still good friends |
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As someone who has lost a sibling due to drugs. He loved his wife and kids . Never cheated . Sole provider worked everyday. Nobody knew because he hid it . Embarrassed disgusted ostracised thats how he felt so had to hide it. Fuckin wish I could talk to him now about it and not have the poor lad dealing with it on his own.
In regards to ops comment. Its horses for courses. You love who you love. Certain degrees.
Think there was. Comment to kick him op guy of a cliff.
To be fair depends what cliff and what drug 😝 |
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Unconditional love and support will only allow them to avoid the consequences of their irresponsible actions.
It's never going to be an easy decision but sometimes in order to be kind we have to be cruel, if that makes any sense...! |
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I am a recovering drug addict (cocaine).
I lost everything and everyone while I was using.
I didn't choose to be an addict,
I thought i could control it but failed.
It's not easy tryin to get clean from drigs,
I relapsed loads of times.
And stil to this day after 2 years of been clean, I still think about the shit. But stay strong and walk away.
I had no 1 to help me fight the disease I done it by my self.
My personal opinion is he is better off been away from the partner and start his recovery again with out any distraction from any 1 that includes family and friends.
Then when he is confident he ok again then he should go and rebuild the broken bridge that he damaged.
It's hard but it's got to be done. |
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lol
