We faked it until we made it.
Both still very shy, but as soon as anyone speaks to us, we relax and go with the flow now.
Perhaps bring reenactors helps, but we hide behind characters to a degree. |
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By *sWyld OP Woman 5 hours ago
Edinburgh |
In trying to fix a typo I've ended up with a 2nd thread!!
Here's the question...
I see lots of people doing lots of things. Clubs, groups, multiple people , fulfilling fantasies.
They all appear to be so carefree, brave,bold and confident.
I envy that. I'm a perpetual overthinker, lacking confidence and rarely brave enough to do the things I'd love to .
So, how do you get there? |
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A few thoughts from myself. In various quotes aspects, but I'm sure you get my point of view.
1. What's the worst thing that can happen.
2. If you don't ask you don't get.
3. No point in having a life full of regrets
4. Will the result of saying yes to an adventure far outweigh the safety of saying no when you look back in a years time.
5. You miss all the shots you don't take.
Sometimes we feel programmed (maybe from parents and life) not to take risks.
Feel the fear and do it anyway, think of nerves as excitement.
Good luck |
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I used to be terrible for overthinking. What helped me was to flip it - instead of thinking forwards (what is this, that happens, what if this goes wrong etc) I started thinking (very generally) if if all goes wrong am I still ok, can I deal with it, do I trust myself to manage whatever goes wrong? Incredibly my thinking went from overthinking to a sense check on whether I’m reasonably confident I can deal with things going Pete tong. It helped me enormously. |
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By *eliWoman 5 hours ago
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Op, have you ever been to club nights/parties/groups etc before?
I think sometimes there's a reason behind lack of "bravery" like MrsNice posted above. Going with someone can help, someone who helps you relax.
And sometimes it's a case of accepting you're going to overthink and doing it anyway. Saying fuck it. If you really go for it you have little time to overthink. |
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I go to parties and see how comfortable I feel. It's nerve wracking at times. I also overthink and I get sensory overload. Too many smells and loud noises put me off.
Sometimes I just end up dancing or making out with someone. Still a good time 😂
Figure it out and go with people you trust. |
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I used to think like this. The first time I went to a club I was trembling and thought I was gonna pass out at the start  but then I ended up having a really great time.
If you'd asked me 5 years ago would I ever do some of the things I've done since I'd have thought you were mad. For me it was a case of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and saying "what's the worst that could happen" quite a bit. And then incrementally getting more and more brave and confident. |
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I don't think we all need to try everything just to feel brave
In fact, I think bravery is sometimes just not putting yourself in certain situations because the level of risk just doesn't sit well |
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Im naturally shy but the club i go to most of their events have a group chat so you can get to know people before you get there, which help alot, now im fine and have a very happy social side of things. |
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