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Sex- Nope now a relationship
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Anyone on here or dating apps matched/messaged, told the person what you are looking for (sex in this topics case) and they say yes they want the same.
You converse for a while, maybe days, then right at the last minute they say “So is sex all you want?” Yes…
“Oh no I want more than that, I’m looking for dates and a relationship” which contradicts the entire conversations leading up to that point.
Like you are both looking for exactly the same thing, FWB etc you both like all the same things sexually, there is no discussion about dating or relationships at all, right until the day you are meant to meet.
Or does this just happen to me… seemingly a lot |
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Just wanting sex (meaning hook-ups when you're horny), and wanting FWB type relationship are two different things, in my opinion. I think you may need to be clearer with explaining that. Maybe you should say that you're looking for "ethical non-monogamy" (I think that's the catch phrase nowadays), meaning you don't want to be exclusive with just one person, and you're not expecting them to be. It can still include going on dates, just without the baggage of a monogamous relationship. |
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I thought this may happen.
To clarify, in these conversations I make it abundantly clear what I am looking for and ask what they are looking for, if it’s different good kuck on your search. If it’s the same we carry on chatting and figure out how well we get on.
In the latter situations, they also make it clear they just want a guy to come round and have a great night when required, which suits me perfectly.
It’s not until the day comes they chsnge their mind and say no they don’t want that, they want to go on dates in the hopes it leads to a relationship |
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"Every women I've known has been well good at reading. Chances are it's a exit stage left scenario "
Exit stage left is often my thinking. Of course I will never really know but it does seem that way… or they were never really ip for meeting |
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"Every women I've known has been well good at reading. Chances are it's a exit stage left scenario
Exit stage left is often my thinking. Of course I will never really know but it does seem that way… or they were never really ip for meeting"
Can lead a horse to water, can't make em drink it 🤷🏻♂️ |
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"Anyone on here or dating apps matched/messaged, told the person what you are looking for (sex in this topics case) and they say yes they want the same.
You converse for a while, maybe days, then right at the last minute they say “So is sex all you want?” Yes…
“Oh no I want more than that, I’m looking for dates and a relationship” which contradicts the entire conversations leading up to that point.
Like you are both looking for exactly the same thing, FWB etc you both like all the same things sexually, there is no discussion about dating or relationships at all, right until the day you are meant to meet.
Or does this just happen to me… seemingly a lot"
What I’ve learned is that if you talk to anyone for days they build a deeper connection and sometimes become attached. Especially if they’re feeling lonely.
If it’s just sex then keep it as just sex, and don’t be someone’s companion. |
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I think a lot of people advertise themselves as what they think others want to hear. So those looking for a relationship say they want sex and hope to snare people into more - and vice versa.
It's very frustrating, and it's hard to take people at their word. |
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Without sounding too snowflakey, is anyone actually really looking for just sex. We might think that we are, especially if we’re going through a baron patch, but it has to be about the company too? The tease, the build up, the relaxing and chatting between rounds? Otherwise, would it not feel very odd and even uncomfortable? |
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"Anyone on here or dating apps matched/messaged, told the person what you are looking for (sex in this topics case) and they say yes they want the same.
You converse for a while, maybe days, then right at the last minute they say “So is sex all you want?” Yes…
“Oh no I want more than that, I’m looking for dates and a relationship” which contradicts the entire conversations leading up to that point.
Like you are both looking for exactly the same thing, FWB etc you both like all the same things sexually, there is no discussion about dating or relationships at all, right until the day you are meant to meet.
Or does this just happen to me… seemingly a lot"
As your profile says you would kike to find someone for long term Id suggest that you are not really being as straightforwards as you claim 🤷♀️ |
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If you list everything that makes a connection a relationship but won't call it that then it's a recipe for disaster and miscommunication.
Be blunt on your profile. And maybe call it a fb rather than a fwb.
Use the words up top.
*LOOKING SEX ONLY*
NOT INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP OR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION OF ANY KIND.
WILL NOT GO ON DATES.
ONLY LOOKING TO MEET FUCK & GO.
WILL NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITH YOU.
I think that would help avoid any more confusion.
But maybe they decided they didn't want to fk after all and used the 'relationship' stuff as an exit. It's not you it's me....
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By *iver78Man 4 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
When I did use tinder , my profile was clear that I was looking fun - casual , and actually got more meets , dates that way ,
I never lied about what I was looking for ,
In all honesty for a hook up tinder and badoo work better than this site , I just find a lot of the time the women are actually looking to date |
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Maybe they chat, think the chemistry is off the charts, wonder if you feel the same, think MAYBE it could lead to more.
Until you say “nah, it’s just the sex I’m after, thanks!”
Sometimes folk get carried away. |
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"Without sounding too snowflakey, is anyone actually really looking for just sex. We might think that we are, especially if we’re going through a baron patch, but it has to be about the company too? The tease, the build up, the relaxing and chatting between rounds? Otherwise, would it not feel very odd and even uncomfortable? "
Yes, yes, we are.
Not looking for anything more.
I've got a fabulous husband.
Don't want a new one abd certainly don't want to meet you for a coffee when Paul's away. Couldn't think of anything worse.
Got lots of lovely vanilla friends.
Don't need any more.
Don't have any grief, problems, drama or issues.
Don't want anyone to share theirs.
We just ask you to read our profile, show up, can string a sentence together, understand why soap, deodorant and toothpaste were invented.
It's really, really easy if you want it to be.
Good luck, have fun. |
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Tinder is the worst for that to be honest...
and the major of the men on there are on here to...
Home I'm not looking for a full on relationship either but I would love for a guy to at least take me out and not just sex |
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"Tinder is the worst for that to be honest...
and the major of the men on there are on here to...
Home I'm not looking for a full on relationship either but I would love for a guy to at least take me out and not just sex"
Exactly this !! Make an evening of it FFS. We’re lonely, but want to be alone 90% of the time, but you would need to be superman to fill the 10% with actual sex. |
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I mentioned the ‘who actually read it’ part because some of the replies are just straight opinions targeting me but ignoring things I have written.
Such as saying maybe you should make it clear… I did, literally word for word clear, meeting for sex.
Someone saying pay for a call girl, grim. I would never ever do that, I don’t even like the idea of strip clubs.
A mention of my orofile says long term.. yes as in I do not want a one night stand, boring. I want regular sex with that one person, Which I have found on dating apps several times over the years. I have found it on here several times over the years.
This year though I have just found people 100% agreeing with a situation then changing their mind.
These forums can be exhausting
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