FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Chat? Feeling quite alone and struggling.

Chat? Feeling quite alone and struggling.

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater

Just could do with some conversation people just moved into my new place struggled with addiction and mental health is taking its toll. It would just be nice to know some people. I’ve currently got no friends and life is frankly the lowest it’s been for me. :/

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *meliacdxTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Here

Keep going. It will get better x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *attieTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Nottingham

Not easy moving to a new place alone, find something you like doing and go out and do it, it's the best way to meet people x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *attieTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Nottingham

Not easy to find the motivation to get out there when you're feeling low but honestly it works

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *offiacoolWoman 3 weeks ago

Alsager

The Mens Shed @ Bridgwater

(10)‧Social club in Bridgwater, England‧

I have heard great things about mens sheds, welcoming, inclusive, non judgemental, supportive of mental health.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *abble-onMan 3 weeks ago

Wheddon

You can do it mate, this feeling won't last forever. Struggled with addiction in the past and it's damn hard work!

Try taking yourself out in nature, it's a hell of a remedy, kayaking, paddleboarding, even just a walk through the woods will help your headspace. Take in the sounds and smells. Stop and sit for a while. Sounds like hippy shit, but it really does help make space for your thoughts and feelings!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater

I do hope so and people in the past have said this. For me it’s been 4 years and I’m still holding on to a life that seems no where in reach.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oxy-RedWoman 3 weeks ago

pink panther territory


"You can do it mate, this feeling won't last forever. Struggled with addiction in the past and it's damn hard work!

Try taking yourself out in nature, it's a hell of a remedy, kayaking, paddleboarding, even just a walk through the woods will help your headspace. Take in the sounds and smells. Stop and sit for a while. Sounds like hippy shit, but it really does help make space for your thoughts and feelings!"

Very good advice I was going to write something similar but you beat me to it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater

Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hinstrapMan 3 weeks ago

sheffield

My inbox is always open bud. Been there a few times. Take time. You stay at it. It will all come good .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"You can do it mate, this feeling won't last forever. Struggled with addiction in the past and it's damn hard work!

Try taking yourself out in nature, it's a hell of a remedy, kayaking, paddleboarding, even just a walk through the woods will help your headspace. Take in the sounds and smells. Stop and sit for a while. Sounds like hippy shit, but it really does help make space for your thoughts and feelings!"

I just don’t want to judged doing these things by myself and sounds stupid but it’s also quite scary? Learning to try enjoy your own company. The loneliness is horrible

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"My inbox is always open bud. Been there a few times. Take time. You stay at it. It will all come good . "
thank you so much that’s some lovely words

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *offiacoolWoman 3 weeks ago

Alsager


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible "

Hit the 'reply & quote' so people know who you are responding to

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ewMan2026Man 3 weeks ago

Chester and Liverpool

Chin up mate, you are allowed to feel sad but keep going. These forums have some lovely people on them so chat here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Effy-Woman 3 weeks ago

Scotland

Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible

Hit the 'reply & quote' so people know who you are responding to "

I’ll keep that in mind apologies I thought just clicking reply would do that. Learn something new everyday.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *abble-onMan 3 weeks ago

Wheddon


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible "

I've only been able to open up in the last year or two, it's the most vulnerable feeling and damn scary to be honest. Try just giving a little. You don't need to open up and spill out everything you're carrying. Even just a little bit here and there will help.

But I stand by getting out into the quiet of the countryside. Even if you are alone, it will feel refreshing.

You've got this!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Chin up mate, you are allowed to feel sad but keep going. These forums have some lovely people on them so chat here "
it’s hard to speak out and thought for that reason I’d start by doing something on these forums not so much pressure when sat behind a phone screen

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible

I've only been able to open up in the last year or two, it's the most vulnerable feeling and damn scary to be honest. Try just giving a little. You don't need to open up and spill out everything you're carrying. Even just a little bit here and there will help.

But I stand by getting out into the quiet of the countryside. Even if you are alone, it will feel refreshing.

You've got this! "

I really appreciate the advice I’d like to give that a go and see what I make of it. I’m really fed up with myself in all this. I’m the issue as I’m not opening up nor leaving the house. I’m getting so stressed as on paper it seems so easy yet it’s such a difficult mindset to get out of and I’ve still yet to take that step

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends. "

I would like to but I feel like i wouldn’t be good enough. I think so much into what other people think? Then I worry about having to socialise as for me I find it quite hard and too many people really play with my head and I struggle to cope. All the noise builds in my head and I struggle to understand people? It’s strange

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *izandpaulCouple 3 weeks ago

merseyside

Don't you find company with your scaffolding mates.

Would keep away from gyms unless you attend a class with others, as they can be quite lonely places.

If there is a local library or community centre you may get a list of places that may help.

If you are interested in animals try a rescue centre if one is local.

Good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ierced22Woman 3 weeks ago

Carlisle

I'm sorry your feeling like this. There should be support groups where you are. We have Andy's man club, not sure if that's available to you or something similar where you are.

Reach out to friends and family. They would much rather hear your struggles and help you through it, than to hear you went through it alone.

Hopefully time will ease your feelings with the new place. Keep your head up. X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hinstrapMan 3 weeks ago

sheffield


"My inbox is always open bud. Been there a few times. Take time. You stay at it. It will all come good . thank you so much that’s some lovely words "

Mate I've been there. It's dark it shit. Nothing but your own head. Shut going through your mind over and over. Somedays I didn't get out bed. I didn't shower for days. Sometime. But I guarantee. It just clicks and you will begin the slow ascent back into having a life. Just small things at first.

I promise you pal. Stick with it. Stand up. Walk tall. Your young. Pretty handsome. (Don't worry I'm not on that bus) You will come good

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Effy-Woman 3 weeks ago

Scotland


"Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends. I would like to but I feel like i wouldn’t be good enough. I think so much into what other people think? Then I worry about having to socialise as for me I find it quite hard and too many people really play with my head and I struggle to cope. All the noise builds in my head and I struggle to understand people? It’s strange "

It's not strange at all. Mental health issues are the devil. It fills your head with all sorts of nonsense. I know it's easier said than done, but you do need to try and push through those thoughts. It's worth while contacting your GP for some help too if you haven't already.

It's a hard road, but things do get better if you put the work in.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eekaboo BellyMan 3 weeks ago

Bradford

You get used to it. Been alone for many years even when living with my mum. Now I love alone and I go the full weekend without using a single word to anyone.

I do get tempted to go out but panic around crowds and social situations so rarely leave for work. But even I can get myself out there sometimes and talk to randoms. They're much more interesting anyway. New things to talk about every time you talk to someone

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eekaboo BellyMan 3 weeks ago

Bradford


"You get used to it. Been alone for many years even when living with my mum. Now I love alone and I go the full weekend without using a single word to anyone.

I do get tempted to go out but panic around crowds and social situations so rarely leave for work. But even I can get myself out there sometimes and talk to randoms. They're much more interesting anyway. New things to talk about every time you talk to someone"

Leave only for work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Don't you find company with your scaffolding mates.

Would keep away from gyms unless you attend a class with others, as they can be quite lonely places.

If there is a local library or community centre you may get a list of places that may help.

If you are interested in animals try a rescue centre if one is local.

Good luck."

For me they aren’t the sort of people I need to be hanging around with outside work. I know I can be better and a start is finding people who match your journey? I find it really hard to chat to people so maybe a social club could be an option then? Just want people to understand me and accept me for me?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lowupdollTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Herts/Leeds

A tip for dealing with intrusive thoughts.

Don’t fight the thought or try not allow them to enter your head. Acknowledge the thought but do not examine it. Like strangers passing you in the street.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"My inbox is always open bud. Been there a few times. Take time. You stay at it. It will all come good . thank you so much that’s some lovely words

Mate I've been there. It's dark it shit. Nothing but your own head. Shut going through your mind over and over. Somedays I didn't get out bed. I didn't shower for days. Sometime. But I guarantee. It just clicks and you will begin the slow ascent back into having a life. Just small things at first.

I promise you pal. Stick with it. Stand up. Walk tall. Your young. Pretty handsome. (Don't worry I'm not on that bus) You will come good "

It’s really reassuring thank you. I think I just need to know I can do it. It’s not always enough on your own especially when you let yourself down and others around you constantly. You don’t even trust yourself by the end of it all

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends. I would like to but I feel like i wouldn’t be good enough. I think so much into what other people think? Then I worry about having to socialise as for me I find it quite hard and too many people really play with my head and I struggle to cope. All the noise builds in my head and I struggle to understand people? It’s strange

It's not strange at all. Mental health issues are the devil. It fills your head with all sorts of nonsense. I know it's easier said than done, but you do need to try and push through those thoughts. It's worth while contacting your GP for some help too if you haven't already.

It's a hard road, but things do get better if you put the work in. "

I’ve got myself a doctors booked. But dreading talking as I’m scared of breaking down infront of the gp. Then I listen to myself and it’s actually so sad that I feel like this. And that I don’t feel comftorble infront of people showing these emotions

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"A tip for dealing with intrusive thoughts.

Don’t fight the thought or try not allow them to enter your head. Acknowledge the thought but do not examine it. Like strangers passing you in the street. "

Thank you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hamallamadingdongMan 3 weeks ago

London

Be kind to yourself, mate. Being alone is a skill. It takes time to learn and adjust, and enjoy your own company. Find some hobbies to keep yourself busy. Search for social events, if any interest you. Nothing wrong with going to the local pub/bar or even the market/shops and just hanging out. Definitely get in touch with nature. Fresh air does wonders.

I walk every day. I have a playlist, I get fresh air, exercise and I'm not overwhelmed by other sounds or even people.

Eventually you will find your people. It takes time. For now, focus on yourself, your work, your hobbies and get a simple routine you can stick to. You've got this 💪🏾😊

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Effy-Woman 3 weeks ago

Scotland


"Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends. I would like to but I feel like i wouldn’t be good enough. I think so much into what other people think? Then I worry about having to socialise as for me I find it quite hard and too many people really play with my head and I struggle to cope. All the noise builds in my head and I struggle to understand people? It’s strange

It's not strange at all. Mental health issues are the devil. It fills your head with all sorts of nonsense. I know it's easier said than done, but you do need to try and push through those thoughts. It's worth while contacting your GP for some help too if you haven't already.

It's a hard road, but things do get better if you put the work in.

I’ve got myself a doctors booked. But dreading talking as I’m scared of breaking down infront of the gp. Then I listen to myself and it’s actually so sad that I feel like this. And that I don’t feel comftorble infront of people showing these emotions"

That's their job. You won't be the first or the last person to break down in front of them I promise you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *offiacoolWoman 3 weeks ago

Alsager


"Don't you find company with your scaffolding mates.

Would keep away from gyms unless you attend a class with others, as they can be quite lonely places.

If there is a local library or community centre you may get a list of places that may help.

If you are interested in animals try a rescue centre if one is local.

Good luck.

For me they aren’t the sort of people I need to be hanging around with outside work. I know I can be better and a start is finding people who match your journey? I find it really hard to chat to people so maybe a social club could be an option then? Just want people to understand me and accept me for me?"

I have listed a mens shed in your area further up the thread. Google it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Be kind to yourself, mate. Being alone is a skill. It takes time to learn and adjust, and enjoy your own company. Find some hobbies to keep yourself busy. Search for social events, if any interest you. Nothing wrong with going to the local pub/bar or even the market/shops and just hanging out. Definitely get in touch with nature. Fresh air does wonders.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart honestly. It’s so nice to see people who are putting time out of their day to help. I do appreciate what you said and I will definitely be taking what I can from it if it’s works for me. And I hope I start smiling again

I walk every day. I have a playlist, I get fresh air, exercise and I'm not overwhelmed by other sounds or even people.

Eventually you will find your people. It takes time. For now, focus on yourself, your work, your hobbies and get a simple routine you can stick to. You've got this 💪🏾😊"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Don't you find company with your scaffolding mates.

Would keep away from gyms unless you attend a class with others, as they can be quite lonely places.

If there is a local library or community centre you may get a list of places that may help.

If you are interested in animals try a rescue centre if one is local.

Good luck.

For me they aren’t the sort of people I need to be hanging around with outside work. I know I can be better and a start is finding people who match your journey? I find it really hard to chat to people so maybe a social club could be an option then? Just want people to understand me and accept me for me?

I have listed a mens shed in your area further up the thread. Google it."

Thank you for taking the time to do that for me. I do appreciate it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Do you enjoy playing any sports, OP?

Maybe you could find something local to you that you can join to get you out the house and making friends. I would like to but I feel like i wouldn’t be good enough. I think so much into what other people think? Then I worry about having to socialise as for me I find it quite hard and too many people really play with my head and I struggle to cope. All the noise builds in my head and I struggle to understand people? It’s strange

It's not strange at all. Mental health issues are the devil. It fills your head with all sorts of nonsense. I know it's easier said than done, but you do need to try and push through those thoughts. It's worth while contacting your GP for some help too if you haven't already.

It's a hard road, but things do get better if you put the work in.

I’ve got myself a doctors booked. But dreading talking as I’m scared of breaking down infront of the gp. Then I listen to myself and it’s actually so sad that I feel like this. And that I don’t feel comftorble infront of people showing these emotions

That's their job. You won't be the first or the last person to break down in front of them I promise you. "

yeah I thought the same I think I just feel so u comftorble with it all just gotta go in there and boss it by the sounds of it. Thank you for taking time to talk to me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible "

Every journey begins with a single step. And avoidance feeds anxiety.

Take one step towards talking to people. Then reflect - it wasn't a disaster (because it almost never is). Then take two steps.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

"

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible

Every journey begins with a single step. And avoidance feeds anxiety.

Take one step towards talking to people. Then reflect - it wasn't a disaster (because it almost never is). Then take two steps."

Thank you for the reassurance. It’s really that simple when you brake it down huh?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged . "

A recovery group is a non-judgemental space OP. You will be absolutely fine.

Connection can be really important.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged .

A recovery group is a non-judgemental space OP. You will be absolutely fine.

Connection can be really important.

"

I think for me yes it’s important as it’s what I’m so sad about all the time the fact I have no friends at all. And no one wants to know me for me. But again I’m probably making it quite difficult when I bury my head. It’s a really tough one

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Maybe it’s worth the shot i guess it’s just getting myself to go. It’s really difficult to bring myself to even talk to People I’ve managed to isolate and bury my feelings for so long talking just seems so alien. And the anxiety is horrible

Every journey begins with a single step. And avoidance feeds anxiety.

Take one step towards talking to people. Then reflect - it wasn't a disaster (because it almost never is). Then take two steps.

Thank you for the reassurance. It’s really that simple when you brake it down huh?"

It's simple, but it's not easy. I speak from experience.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *onin25Man 3 weeks ago

Durham

It can be nerve-wracking to speak to strangers but if you're friendly and respectful to people you'll find the vast majority of people will be friendly and respectful back to you. And if you don't know what to say either just smile, laugh or be honest and say that you don't know what to say.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adyBugsWoman 3 weeks ago

not local even if it says I am

Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eekaboo BellyMan 3 weeks ago

Bradford

Just deal with it it really isn't hard when you get used to it. Don't focus on "I'm so lonely" don't chase companionship cos people are cunts and are extremely selfish, they care for no one but themselves. That's literally everyone. Just talk to random people in person it's much better talking to people you don't know. All sorts of stories from different sources

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago

I feel for you. Im going through the same at the moment. But things do get better. Keep possitive.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"It can be nerve-wracking to speak to strangers but if you're friendly and respectful to people you'll find the vast majority of people will be friendly and respectful back to you. And if you don't know what to say either just smile, laugh or be honest and say that you don't know what to say. "

Yeah most people are nice it’s just the odd few that seem to not stop when u say ur not interested etc. but I’m always up for a chat with either gender it just doesn’t always have to be sexual which blokes do tend to slide on that side of things more

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"I feel for you. Im going through the same at the moment. But things do get better. Keep possitive."

Thank you mate good luck with yourself also man take some of the comments in here for yourself is what I can say… may be something in here you can relate to?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged .

A recovery group is a non-judgemental space OP. You will be absolutely fine.

Connection can be really important.

I think for me yes it’s important as it’s what I’m so sad about all the time the fact I have no friends at all. And no one wants to know me for me. But again I’m probably making it quite difficult when I bury my head. It’s a really tough one"

It might be as easy as being brave and stepping thru a door for the first time. You can 100% do that.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days "

Yeah I think being somewhere social is a good one. And I do agree I want to be able to sit there and not have to talk but have the option to do so. I just feel that if I’m put in a situation where I have to talk I’d feel I uncomfortable especially when I’m a lot further behind then a lot of people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ormalfornorfolkMan 3 weeks ago

Norwich

You look like a fit lad. Like someone else suggested, sports can help. Not gym, they can be miserable places, but team or other competitive sport. Martial arts can be brilliant because you don’t do it alone. You don’t have to fight if you don’t want to, but train in a group.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged .

A recovery group is a non-judgemental space OP. You will be absolutely fine.

Connection can be really important.

I think for me yes it’s important as it’s what I’m so sad about all the time the fact I have no friends at all. And no one wants to know me for me. But again I’m probably making it quite difficult when I bury my head. It’s a really tough one

It might be as easy as being brave and stepping thru a door for the first time. You can 100% do that.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? "

That is true. And I think this a lot. You just feel sorry for yourself and it’s making that step to go and make a change I guess

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"You look like a fit lad. Like someone else suggested, sports can help. Not gym, they can be miserable places, but team or other competitive sport. Martial arts can be brilliant because you don’t do it alone. You don’t have to fight if you don’t want to, but train in a group."
thank you I’ll be sure to take a look

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ubcuckpupMan 3 weeks ago

Manchester

It's hard man. Got to keep strong and get social

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lowupdollTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Herts/Leeds


"Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days

Yeah I think being somewhere social is a good one. And I do agree I want to be able to sit there and not have to talk but have the option to do so. I just feel that if I’m put in a situation where I have to talk I’d feel I uncomfortable especially when I’m a lot further behind then a lot of people"

Something I learned about social situs. We assume to talk to someone we have to be interesting or funny or whatever. We don’t. Just say SOMETHING. ‘I usually get Stella but this Kronenburg is quite nice actually’. That’s literally all it takes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman 3 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"I'm a sober person too and I find it really helpful being with people that understand what it's like.

I suggest Smart recovery and see if there's a group near you. They're peer led and lovely people.

Different topic, Andy's Man Club are a national mens support group. They're also highly regarded.

Connection with different groups of people, who have 0 expectations of you. Can maybe help you.

Good luck OP.

Thank you I think a social club by the sounds could really help me make a first step getting out the house. As a big worry is being in an environment where you feel judged .

A recovery group is a non-judgemental space OP. You will be absolutely fine.

Connection can be really important.

I think for me yes it’s important as it’s what I’m so sad about all the time the fact I have no friends at all. And no one wants to know me for me. But again I’m probably making it quite difficult when I bury my head. It’s a really tough one

It might be as easy as being brave and stepping thru a door for the first time. You can 100% do that.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

That is true. And I think this a lot. You just feel sorry for yourself and it’s making that step to go and make a change I guess"

Check out Andys Man Club & Smart Recovery online.

Find their meeting(s) near you.

Talk to the organisers so they expect you.

Get out your front door and go.

You've got this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days

Yeah I think being somewhere social is a good one. And I do agree I want to be able to sit there and not have to talk but have the option to do so. I just feel that if I’m put in a situation where I have to talk I’d feel I uncomfortable especially when I’m a lot further behind then a lot of people

Something I learned about social situs. We assume to talk to someone we have to be interesting or funny or whatever. We don’t. Just say SOMETHING. ‘I usually get Stella but this Kronenburg is quite nice actually’. That’s literally all it takes. "

Yeah I guess so and I’ll be sure to try and do something different I think at this point I just need to switch up how I used to do everything. As it clearly doesn’t work I thought I had my beginning of life figured but my ex fiance really tripped me up in that journey it’s been 4 years since and still ask the question why? I tend to beat myself up thinking it’s my fault the way things went and why she went off with someone else. But again it’s my fault for dwelling in it and never moving on and accepting the way I feel and making a change I guess?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lowupdollTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Herts/Leeds


"Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days

Yeah I think being somewhere social is a good one. And I do agree I want to be able to sit there and not have to talk but have the option to do so. I just feel that if I’m put in a situation where I have to talk I’d feel I uncomfortable especially when I’m a lot further behind then a lot of people

Something I learned about social situs. We assume to talk to someone we have to be interesting or funny or whatever. We don’t. Just say SOMETHING. ‘I usually get Stella but this Kronenburg is quite nice actually’. That’s literally all it takes.

Yeah I guess so and I’ll be sure to try and do something different I think at this point I just need to switch up how I used to do everything. As it clearly doesn’t work I thought I had my beginning of life figured but my ex fiance really tripped me up in that journey it’s been 4 years since and still ask the question why? I tend to beat myself up thinking it’s my fault the way things went and why she went off with someone else. But again it’s my fault for dwelling in it and never moving on and accepting the way I feel and making a change I guess?"

It’s not wrong to feel the way you do. But that which hurt you will not heal you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eryBaldy78Man 3 weeks ago

Workington


"Just could do with some conversation people just moved into my new place struggled with addiction and mental health is taking its toll. It would just be nice to know some people. I’ve currently got no friends and life is frankly the lowest it’s been for me. :/ "

Hello pal...well done for doing this, it's not easy. Have you tried Andys Man Club. They meet every Monday at various locations. Their website will show you the nearest club to you. They also do an online session too, if you can't make it to a physical group.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Hey dude, moving is one of the most stressful things to do in life. It’s so hard adjusting to life in a new location and must be especially hard for you who is already adjusting to a new life over all.

I found going to the library or cinema helps not feel so lonely sometimes, being around people without pressure to interact with them. Or just sitting in a coffee shop with a book. I suffered for a really long time with anxiety and depression but getting out definitely helps. And finding a hobby to keep your mind busy helps. Unfortunately my hobby is gigs and it gets expensive these days

Yeah I think being somewhere social is a good one. And I do agree I want to be able to sit there and not have to talk but have the option to do so. I just feel that if I’m put in a situation where I have to talk I’d feel I uncomfortable especially when I’m a lot further behind then a lot of people

Something I learned about social situs. We assume to talk to someone we have to be interesting or funny or whatever. We don’t. Just say SOMETHING. ‘I usually get Stella but this Kronenburg is quite nice actually’. That’s literally all it takes.

Yeah I guess so and I’ll be sure to try and do something different I think at this point I just need to switch up how I used to do everything. As it clearly doesn’t work I thought I had my beginning of life figured but my ex fiance really tripped me up in that journey it’s been 4 years since and still ask the question why? I tend to beat myself up thinking it’s my fault the way things went and why she went off with someone else. But again it’s my fault for dwelling in it and never moving on and accepting the way I feel and making a change I guess?

It’s not wrong to feel the way you do. But that which hurt you will not heal you."

No I agree of course not and I don’t miss her I miss the feeling of being with someone the excitement the whole rollocoaster of feelings in what makes up a relationship. I just miss the feeling of companionship

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *igA101 OP   Man 3 weeks ago

bridgwater


"Just could do with some conversation people just moved into my new place struggled with addiction and mental health is taking its toll. It would just be nice to know some people. I’ve currently got no friends and life is frankly the lowest it’s been for me. :/

Hello pal...well done for doing this, it's not easy. Have you tried Andys Man Club. They meet every Monday at various locations. Their website will show you the nearest club to you. They also do an online session too, if you can't make it to a physical group. "

thank you I will take a look a few people mentioned this one

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0937

0