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Is watching porn cheating?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I saw a post about it and there a woman was upset when she found her man was looking at porn behind her back, she said how they were so happy until she discovered that he looked at it.
That got me thinking, could watching porn behind your partners back be seen as cheating as you get your satisfaction from elsewhere?
I dont think there is a universal answer, more so it depends how you have set up the boundaries in the relationship, but in general I think it is ok to watch it separately, communication is the key.
It would be interesting to see what your view is and if you are you married can you watch it separately or just together, if not, how do you feel about it?  |
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Perhaps a better set of people to ask would be the vanilla community.
When I was younger my husband watched porn and wanked. He never made any advances on me. Never wanted sex with me. Made me feel like a sex pest for keep asking. That was a problem.
I think for women and men it means something different. Women get jealous as they involve emotions. Men watch porn for porn’s sake. (If that makes sense).
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I don't consider it cheating, but it can cause problems if a person consistently chooses wanking to porn over sex with their partner.
I think most people who object to porn do so not because they consider it to be cheating, but because of the questionable ethics of the porn industry.
Everyone has their own boundaries, and it's probably a conversation that needs to be had early on in a relationship. |
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If there is an agreement that porn should not have a place in their relationship,
If there is an agreement that porn is okay but should not be viewed alone
If there is an agreement that certain kinds of porn should not be viewed ...
and then a partner breaks that agreement then the other is bound to feel 'cheated' / lied to , although they may not consider the act of watching porn to be an act of infidelity in itself.
If a partner 'hid' away to view porn of questionable / illegal content , surely their other half would have to reassess them 'psychologically'. For me I do not think I would forgive - if I discovered I was living with a well masked CREEP. They would not be who I thought they were.
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It would be deceiving your partner if the other person was saying they weren’t watching it but did.
If they didn’t want sex because they were watching porn then that would have a detrimental effect on the relationship.
K
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"It would be deceiving your partner if the other person was saying they weren’t watching it but did.
If they didn’t want sex because they were watching porn then that would have a detrimental effect on the relationship.
K
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What if they were watching it for educational reasons, for example how to pull someone free who got themselves stuck loading the tumble dryer ? |
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"It would be deceiving your partner if the other person was saying they weren’t watching it but did.
If they didn’t want sex because they were watching porn then that would have a detrimental effect on the relationship.
K
What if they were watching it for educational reasons, for example how to pull someone free who got themselves stuck loading the tumble dryer ? "
I think that , obviously, because HE would have been telling HER for years that he had no idea how to deal with tumble driers and then she suddenly finds him addicted to rescuing others and 'unloading' himself at the same time ........ she's going to be a bit suspicious |
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"It would be deceiving your partner if the other person was saying they weren’t watching it but did.
If they didn’t want sex because they were watching porn then that would have a detrimental effect on the relationship.
K
What if they were watching it for educational reasons, for example how to pull someone free who got themselves stuck loading the tumble dryer ?
I think that , obviously, because HE would have been telling HER for years that he had no idea how to deal with tumble driers and then she suddenly finds him addicted to rescuing others and 'unloading' himself at the same time ........ she's going to be a bit suspicious"
I guess so. That and the extremely *rounded* Arabic lady that just opened the laundry next door probably has her creating all kinds of narratives. |
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I don't consider it cheating, but as others have said, if they chose to watch porn and have a wank over having sex with me if it is an available option then I would be upset by that. If they chose to watch porn when we aren't together and sex isn't possible then I have no issue. Or just watching it together - fine. |
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"I saw a post about it and there a woman was upset when she found her man was looking at porn behind her back, she said how they were so happy until she discovered that he looked at it.
That got me thinking, could watching porn behind your partners back be seen as cheating as you get your satisfaction from elsewhere?
I dont think there is a universal answer, more so it depends how you have set up the boundaries in the relationship, but in general I think it is ok to watch it separately, communication is the key.
It would be interesting to see what your view is and if you are you married can you watch it separately or just together, if not, how do you feel about it? "
No but if you’re prioritising porn over your Mrs then you need to give your head a wobble |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I wouldn't consider it cheating. We watch porn separately. As long as it doesn't come as a surprise (ie the other person said they'd never watch porn), it's all good. I can't do dishonesty. "
Hi curve, that is good you wouldnt consider it cheating and how you both watch porn separately, yes, as long as it doesnt come as a surprise too |
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By *ee04Man 2 weeks ago
Essex |
I think most men watch porn for a quick wank, woman seem less inclined and use their toys.
I don’t think it’s cheating personally as it is used as escapism for the moment, I’m never involved with the action it’s just a titillation that adds a little extra to the occasion. I’ve never felt I needed to watch it.
Some men I know are what I consider addicted to it personally I’m not. I can get more out of reading an erotic story, is that cheating? How many women read fifty shades of grey and got excited? Is that cheating? |
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Not cheating in the traditional sense in my opinion but can cause a lot of relationship troubles. Happened to me in the past.
I can understand it from the other person's perspective of "you're choosing to watch a person on a screen rather than me etc. etc.". Like most things in life it's never that simple.
Honesty is the best policy here and be open about your use of it so it doesn't come as a shock to your partner etc. - and if you think revealing that information will make things worse, you need to sit and think about what you value more, your relationship or porn use.
Porn use can destroy relationships for many reasons and not always from a "cheating" aspect, some of those have been mentioned above by others.
Porn, like a lot of things can become an addiction that takes over, and it's not until it's too late do you realise what such a negative impact it has had on your relationship, along with many other things that you wouldn't typically associate with porn, such as being more short tempered than usual, weakened attention span, forgetfulness (speaking from experience).
As with many things in life, consume in moderation.
Peace.
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By *wcoMan 2 weeks ago
West Midlands |
"I saw a post about it and there a woman was upset when she found her man was looking at porn behind her back, she said how they were so happy until she discovered that he looked at it.
"
What have I told you about reading mumsnet? |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I don't consider it cheating, but it can cause problems if a person consistently chooses wanking to porn over sex with their partner.
I think most people who object to porn do so not because they consider it to be cheating, but because of the questionable ethics of the porn industry.
Everyone has their own boundaries, and it's probably a conversation that needs to be had early on in a relationship."
That is good you dont consider it cheating, yes, you are right there, everyone have their own boundaries, yes, a converstation is needed early in a relationship too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"If there is an agreement that porn should not have a place in their relationship,
If there is an agreement that porn is okay but should not be viewed alone
If there is an agreement that certain kinds of porn should not be viewed ...
and then a partner breaks that agreement then the other is bound to feel 'cheated' / lied to , although they may not consider the act of watching porn to be an act of infidelity in itself.
If a partner 'hid' away to view porn of questionable / illegal content , surely their other half would have to reassess them 'psychologically'. For me I do not think I would forgive - if I discovered I was living with a well masked CREEP. They would not be who I thought they were.
"
Hi, yes, you are right there, it depends if there is an agreement if porn should not have a place in their relationship, yes, it would be different if the partner hid away porn too |
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By *wcoMan 2 weeks ago
West Midlands |
If a guy isn't switched onto his relationship because he's spending too much time and energy watching porn, then he's cheating.
If he's not careful he'll get into his 50s, will have forgotten how to have a relationship and end up spending his evenings posting wet pantie threads on a forum not far from here. |
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