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It's Saturday night and the bar is open
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🍻 **The Bar Is Open** 🍻
Your friendly bartender is on duty and ready to serve...
Pull up a stool, grab a drink and make yourselves comfortable.
We've got cocktails, cold beer, questionable chat-up lines, a jukebox full of guilty pleasures and enough banter to keep everyone entertained.
Although judging by previous experience, some people seem far more interested in leaning over it than actually playing pool 😏😂
The dress code is somewhere between "making an effort" and "I'll just leave that open to interpretation" 😂
So what are you drinking, what's your poison, and more importantly... who's causing trouble tonight? 😉
Please have fun and don't forget to offer a drink to someone you like😉
🍸🍺🥃 |
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"A crushed ice margarita for me please (and no, that’s not a pizza.)
Max
Max i have you covered, just give me one moment as they send fresh ice and not that frozen rubbish 😉 "
One crushed ice margarita for you, Max — salted rim, proper lime kick, served icy enough to make your teeth question your life choices. |
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"Can I have change for the jukebox please oh and a pint of whatever is coldest and obviously one for yourself. "
You’re speaking my language now 🍻
Right then—jukebox change coming up.
Here’s a handful of coins for it… though if it starts playing sad 90s songs at 2am, I’m denying all involvement.
And for you: one pint of whatever’s coldest on tap — we’re talking “fresh out the cellar, borderline arctic” cold. Probably a crisp lager or a proper chilled pilsner depending on what’s behaving itself tonight.
As for me having one… I’ll take a non-alcoholic staff special—call it The Shift Manager: ice-cold ginger beer with lime. Keeps me sharp enough to deal with whatever chaos the jukebox summons.
Now go on then… what are you putting on first? |
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"Can I have change for the jukebox please oh and a pint of whatever is coldest and obviously one for yourself.
You’re speaking my language now 🍻
Right then—jukebox change coming up.
Here’s a handful of coins for it… though if it starts playing sad 90s songs at 2am, I’m denying all involvement.
And for you: one pint of whatever’s coldest on tap — we’re talking “fresh out the cellar, borderline arctic” cold. Probably a crisp lager or a proper chilled pilsner depending on what’s behaving itself tonight.
As for me having one… I’ll take a non-alcoholic staff special—call it The Shift Manager: ice-cold ginger beer with lime. Keeps me sharp enough to deal with whatever chaos the jukebox summons.
Now go on then… what are you putting on first?"
That pint is going down nicely sir. I thank you.
As it’s a guilty pleasures jukebox, first up is Rio by Duran Duran, followed by Brilliant Mind by Furniture.
I’ve left a few credits in the jukebox for whoever comes in next. |
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"Double Jack and Coke, please
I like your thinking jd and coming right up sir
And followed by lots more please
Not a problem sir, I’ve but the bottle on the bar for you 😉 "
Perfect anyone joining me lol 😂 |
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"Hello and not into much drinking at the mo but as it's you barman and your great establishment, I will have a little paper plane or a boulevardier please. Thank you. "
Great choice 🍸 I’ll get you a Boulevardier on the way — smooth, boozy, and a bit on the classy-dark side. If you change your mind later I can always switch you to a Paper Plane, no problem at all. And fair play on taking it easy tonight too. |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉"
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
|
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
"
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house |
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"Im the boring one. I dont drink. I'll have a mocktail please 😅"
No boring ones allowed in here — only designated drivers of good vibes 😄🍹
Coming right up:
Mocktail for you: I’ll do a Virgin Paper Plane — same citrusy zing and herbal depth, just without the kick. Think fresh lemon, a touch of orange bitterness, and a hint of spice so it still feels like you’re drinking something that knows what it’s doing.
Or if you’d rather:
Berry Spritz Mocktail – fizzy, light, a bit playful
Cucumber & Lime Cooler – crisp, refreshing, very “I’ve got my life together” energy
Ginger Mojito (no rum) – spicy, minty, proper lift
And honestly? Around here, mocktails aren’t a downgrade — they’re just the “I’m still staying for the music and the chaos” option 🍸 |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house "
You're too kind. You'll find us at the pool table 😘😍 |
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"Hello and not into much drinking at the mo but as it's you barman and your great establishment, I will have a little paper plane or a boulevardier please. Thank you.
Great choice 🍸 I’ll get you a Boulevardier on the way — smooth, boozy, and a bit on the classy-dark side. If you change your mind later I can always switch you to a Paper Plane, no problem at all. And fair play on taking it easy tonight too."
Thank you, much appreciated. Classy-dark side it is  |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house
You're too kind. You'll find us at the pool table 😘😍"
Don't you worry I've been waiting for this all week 😘 |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house
You're too kind. You'll find us at the pool table 😘😍
Don't you worry I've been waiting for this all week 😘"
Oh my 🫦  |
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"Hello and not into much drinking at the mo but as it's you barman and your great establishment, I will have a little paper plane or a boulevardier please. Thank you.
Great choice 🍸 I’ll get you a Boulevardier on the way — smooth, boozy, and a bit on the classy-dark side. If you change your mind later I can always switch you to a Paper Plane, no problem at all. And fair play on taking it easy tonight too.
Thank you, much appreciated. Classy-dark side it is "
Not a problem my good sir |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house
You're too kind. You'll find us at the pool table 😘😍
Don't you worry I've been waiting for this all week 😘
Oh my 🫦 "
Now please bend over we want to see that sexy bum 😍😘 |
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"Where have you been 💔
My sexy couple 😍
Working hard and now im back.
What would like to drink?
And can we play pool again please 😉
I will have a sauvignon spritzer please, and have one for yourself.
I'll set the balls up 😍
You always make me smile. Its definitely on the house
You're too kind. You'll find us at the pool table 😘😍
Don't you worry I've been waiting for this all week 😘
Oh my 🫦
Now please bend over we want to see that sexy bum 😍😘"
You're wish is my command bar tender 😘😘 |
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"Is the football on in this bar… should I watch the England or Scotland game?
Oi.. can you turn it on to the Wales game just for starters  "
We have a special room just for that my good sir, the key is on the bar |
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By *reoXMan 6 days ago
Between your legs |
"Rum and please
Save some rum for me good sir and the woman 🤣"
Okay okay water it down with some dark coloured carbonated fizzy drink that apparently I'm not allowed to say in here |
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"Rum and please
Save some rum for me good sir and the woman 🤣
Okay okay water it down with some dark coloured carbonated fizzy drink that apparently I'm not allowed to say in here "
Rum reserved behind the bar under strict supervision 🥃😎
In the meantime, here's a tall glass of that mysterious dark fizzy beverage we're apparently not allowed to mention. Completely legal, completely refreshing, and absolutely not the reason everyone's bouncing off the walls 😆 |
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"If I said pool table to the F in the couple she knows EXACTLY what I mean!
But it's been a long hard week so a large Pinot and a double really good malt please. "
😂 Say no more! The moment "pool table" gets mentioned, I can see the look already...
After a long hard week, you've earned it. One large Pinot coming right up, and a double of the good malt — not the stuff we keep for emergencies, the really good stuff from the top shelf. 🥃🍷
Pull up a chair, put your feet up, and let's pretend Monday is somebody else's problem for a while. |
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"Can I trouble you for a long island iced tea please handsome? I'm pushing the boat out tonight 😘
I’d love to buy that drink for the gorgeous lady "
First drink for the lovely _olvesxcouple.
I hope you enjoy 😉 😊 |
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"Why is the rum under lock n key? "
The rum's under lock and key because every time I leave it unattended, it mysteriously evaporates... and somehow the usual suspects all start looking far too cheerful. 🤔🥃
Purely a health and safety measure, you understand. We can't have the bar running out before the pirates, pool sharks, and professional storytellers have had their share! 😄 |
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"Can I trouble you for a long island iced tea please handsome? I'm pushing the boat out tonight 😘
I’d love to buy that drink for the gorgeous lady
First drink for the lovely _olvesxcouple.
I hope you enjoy 😉 😊 "
Thank you. I can taste the love |
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"Can I trouble you for a long island iced tea please handsome? I'm pushing the boat out tonight 😘
I’d love to buy that drink for the gorgeous lady
Why thank you lovely. Cheers 🍹"
The pleasure is all mine |
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"Im the boring one. I dont drink. I'll have a mocktail please 😅
No boring ones allowed in here — only designated drivers of good vibes 😄🍹
Coming right up:
Mocktail for you: I’ll do a Virgin Paper Plane — same citrusy zing and herbal depth, just without the kick. Think fresh lemon, a touch of orange bitterness, and a hint of spice so it still feels like you’re drinking something that knows what it’s doing.
Or if you’d rather:
Berry Spritz Mocktail – fizzy, light, a bit playful
Cucumber & Lime Cooler – crisp, refreshing, very “I’ve got my life together” energy
Ginger Mojito (no rum) – spicy, minty, proper lift
And honestly? Around here, mocktails aren’t a downgrade — they’re just the “I’m still staying for the music and the chaos” option 🍸"
They all sound delicious 😋
I'll try the virgin paper plane and the berry spritz please 😊 |
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"Im the boring one. I dont drink. I'll have a mocktail please 😅
No boring ones allowed in here — only designated drivers of good vibes 😄🍹
Coming right up:
Mocktail for you: I’ll do a Virgin Paper Plane — same citrusy zing and herbal depth, just without the kick. Think fresh lemon, a touch of orange bitterness, and a hint of spice so it still feels like you’re drinking something that knows what it’s doing.
Or if you’d rather:
Berry Spritz Mocktail – fizzy, light, a bit playful
Cucumber & Lime Cooler – crisp, refreshing, very “I’ve got my life together” energy
Ginger Mojito (no rum) – spicy, minty, proper lift
And honestly? Around here, mocktails aren’t a downgrade — they’re just the “I’m still staying for the music and the chaos” option 🍸
They all sound delicious 😋
I'll try the virgin paper plane and the berry spritz please 😊"
You can have anything you want 😉 |
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"I fancy a cocktail please but not one with rum. Surprise me "
A surprise cocktail? Excellent choice. 🍸
I've got just the thing: something chilled, slightly dangerous, and mixed with enough skill that you'll immediately ask for the recipe and I'll immediately refuse to give it to you. 😏
Slides mysterious cocktail across the bar.
Give it a sip and tell me if you can identify all the ingredients. Nobody's managed it yet... |
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"X 2 double vodkas please x
2? You can have 4 on the house 🤫
Ohh you trying to get us tipsy
Only the best for you two in here
Thankyou they went down nicely x
Anything else 😊"
Some nuts would go down well 🤭 |
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"X 2 double vodkas please x
2? You can have 4 on the house 🤫
Ohh you trying to get us tipsy
Only the best for you two in here
Thankyou they went down nicely x
Anything else 😊
Some nuts would go down well 🤭"
Just look around plenty of them in here 😊 |
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"X 2 double vodkas please x
2? You can have 4 on the house 🤫
Ohh you trying to get us tipsy
Only the best for you two in here
Thankyou they went down nicely x
Anything else 😊
Some nuts would go down well 🤭
Just look around plenty of them in here 😊"
🤣🤣 |
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"Can you send a couple of drinks over to Leggy Sue and Out of the Blue please and stick some Slayer on the jukebox for the metal heads in the corner there. Oh and one in the till for yourself. "
Absolutely! 🍻
A couple of drinks are on their way over to Leggy Sue and Out of the Blue, courtesy of your good self. The metal heads in the corner have just been treated to some Slayer on the jukebox, so if the headbanging starts rattling the optics behind the bar, we know who to blame. 🤘😆
And thank you kindly for the one in the till. It's much appreciated and will be invested wisely... probably in emergency rum security and jukebox maintenance. 🍺 |
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"Just a cup of tea for me today, ta 
Only Yorkshire tea??
As long as it doesn't taste like arse, it's all good
Its the best bag you will ever have 😂🥰
I will have to take your word for that "
Trust the bartender 🥰 |
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"Can I have a raspberry absolute with raspberry lemonade please
You can have anything you like, have the first drink on the house ☺️"
Well thank you and can I please have another one but a double this time x |
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"Can I have a raspberry absolute with raspberry lemonade please
You can have anything you like, have the first drink on the house ☺️
Well thank you and can I please have another one but a double this time x"
You can have double of anything 🥰 |
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"I fancy a cocktail please but not one with rum. Surprise me
A surprise cocktail? Excellent choice. 🍸
I've got just the thing: something chilled, slightly dangerous, and mixed with enough skill that you'll immediately ask for the recipe and I'll immediately refuse to give it to you. 😏
Slides mysterious cocktail across the bar.
Give it a sip and tell me if you can identify all the ingredients. Nobody's managed it yet..."
Oh I’m not sure but I think I’ve just had a screaming orgasm |
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"I fancy a cocktail please but not one with rum. Surprise me
A surprise cocktail? Excellent choice. 🍸
I've got just the thing: something chilled, slightly dangerous, and mixed with enough skill that you'll immediately ask for the recipe and I'll immediately refuse to give it to you. 😏
Slides mysterious cocktail across the bar.
Give it a sip and tell me if you can identify all the ingredients. Nobody's managed it yet...
Oh I’m not sure but I think I’ve just had a screaming orgasm "
Only the best for you in this bar lovely 😍 |
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"Have you got any snacks please bartender?"
Of course! 😄
Let's see what's behind the bar...
🥜 Salted peanuts 🥔 Crisps in flavours ranging from "perfectly normal" to "who approved this?" 🧀 Cheese and onion rolls 🌭 Sausage rolls fresh from the warmer 🍕 Questionable bar pizza that's somehow always better after 9pm 🍫 A secret stash of chocolate that I'm definitely not supposed to be telling customers about
Help yourself, but be quick with the sausage rolls—word gets around when they're fresh! 🍻 |
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"Have you got any snacks please bartender?
Of course! 😄
Let's see what's behind the bar...
🥜 Salted peanuts 🥔 Crisps in flavours ranging from "perfectly normal" to "who approved this?" 🧀 Cheese and onion rolls 🌭 Sausage rolls fresh from the warmer 🍕 Questionable bar pizza that's somehow always better after 9pm 🍫 A secret stash of chocolate that I'm definitely not supposed to be telling customers about
Help yourself, but be quick with the sausage rolls—word gets around when they're fresh! 🍻"
This is the best bar ever! |
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"Have you got any snacks please bartender?
Of course! 😄
Let's see what's behind the bar...
🥜 Salted peanuts 🥔 Crisps in flavours ranging from "perfectly normal" to "who approved this?" 🧀 Cheese and onion rolls 🌭 Sausage rolls fresh from the warmer 🍕 Questionable bar pizza that's somehow always better after 9pm 🍫 A secret stash of chocolate that I'm definitely not supposed to be telling customers about
Help yourself, but be quick with the sausage rolls—word gets around when they're fresh! 🍻
This is the best bar ever!"
Only the best for you lovely 😍 |
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