FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do skin conditions and scars put you off?
Do skin conditions and scars put you off?
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
I suffer with acne and although I've had it for most of my life and used to it, it's still something I'm conscious of. Even getting in the way of meeting people I'm genuinely excited to meet.
Sometimes I feel the need to mention it beforehand like some weird kind of trigger warning, so they don't expect something else.
For those of you with skin conditions, prominent scars, birthmarks or anything else visible, is this something you struggle with too?
And for everyone else, is this something you notice? Something that could put you off? Or doesn't make a difference?
(This isn't a post looking for attention, just a genuine question)
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I have scars all over. A combination of sports injuries, childhood carelessness and the odd incident with a bottle or two when I ran bars years ago.
Plus a major operation one that fucked any chance of ever having a six pack again.
I couldn't care less. 🤷♂️
Obi |
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So glad you posted this! When I was a teenager I used to self harm hence why I now have sleeve tattoos!)
I get so anxious meeting someone new because I think to myself 'can they tell I have scars?' So sometimes I may mention it beforehand. I've never ever been with someone who has been put off by it. Most of the time they wouldn't have even noticed till I pointed it out! |
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By *erdyHollyTV/TS 13 hours ago
In a galaxy far far away |
" birthmarks or anything else visible
"
I have a birthmark in the shape of Africa between one side of my nose and my top lip.
I had a terrible time at school because of bullying, the kids used to call me Rudolph 
I did have laser treatment and it's faded slightly but it's still visible.
I am self conscious about it sometimes, but mostly I forget it's there. Also I can now hide it with makeup for a meet  |
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At the risk of sounding horribly shallow, possibly. It depends where and how much. I have met people with scars or less than perfect skin and it’s had no impact at all. It’s just who they are and they are sexy. But I know myself well enough to admit that if it was very prominent then it might.
I don’t know if I’ve worded this quite right but I’m trying to answer your question honestly. |
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I have, well had very deep stretch marks on shoulders/part of chest and my thighs. I had my shoulders mostly tattooed so they aren't that noticeable now... used to be really self conscious of them when younger. |
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"I suffer with acne and although I've had it for most of my life and used to it, it's still something I'm conscious of. Even getting in the way of meeting people I'm genuinely excited to meet.
Sometimes I feel the need to mention it beforehand like some weird kind of trigger warning, so they don't expect something else.
For those of you with skin conditions, prominent scars, birthmarks or anything else visible, is this something you struggle with too?
And for everyone else, is this something you notice? Something that could put you off? Or doesn't make a difference?
(This isn't a post looking for attention, just a genuine question)
"
If there is a genuine attraction it shouldn’t put anyone off and if it bothers someone that much then maybe they are the problem. If someone is as shallow to knock a meet back because of looks then they are not the person for you! |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"At the risk of sounding horribly shallow, possibly. It depends where and how much. I have met people with scars or less than perfect skin and it’s had no impact at all. It’s just who they are and they are sexy. But I know myself well enough to admit that if it was very prominent then it might.
I don’t know if I’ve worded this quite right but I’m trying to answer your question honestly."
No, I understand what you mean. Even though I have acne and know how self conscious it makes me. If I meet someone who has it, maybe a little worse, it's honestly the first thing I notice. And I can see how something like that can be off putting to others. |
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I actually find a few scars a turn on because it proves she's had an active life!
I work in the medical field and I'm used to seeing self inflicted wounds and some truly stomach churning skin conditions.
Anything on Fab is tame compared to what I'm used to seeing. Everybody, and I mean everybody, has a few skin conditions. |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"So glad you posted this! When I was a teenager I used to self harm hence why I now have sleeve tattoos!)
I get so anxious meeting someone new because I think to myself 'can they tell I have scars?' So sometimes I may mention it beforehand. I've never ever been with someone who has been put off by it. Most of the time they wouldn't have even noticed till I pointed it out! "
If I've read that right, it sounds like you have recovered from that period in your life, which I'm glad of. Sorry you went through that though! It's kinda cool you've reclaimed that part of your body and filled it with tattoos that you (hopefully) enjoy looking at 🖤 |
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I have a really big scar that I used to be quite self conscious about but now I just rock it.
Scars/skin doesn't bother me one bit on others. Confidence is sexy as hell, and self acceptance really does it for me! |
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By *arierWoman 13 hours ago
birmingham |
I’m not put off at all with stuff like that.
I get very self conscious about my stomach, I had a big baby and loose skin with C-section scar. Since attending clubs I’ve started to embrace my imperfections a bit more. |
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It’s true, SOME people may have an issue, some people may be shallow enough to be out off by acne, scars, birthmarks etc
That doesn’t mean that person is bad, they just have something against it or don’t find certain things physically attractive or maybe even have some mental phobia, who knows.
A lot of people won’t have an issue with it, because they see straight past it to the point they barely even notice it.
A lot of people will like you enough that again they probably don’t even see it, they just see YOU and they like you, they want you and they will show that.
A lot of people on here find you super attractive and will totally be on your side to support and show you that hey we all have something we class as a ‘flaw’ but it doesn’t define you.
I can look in the mirror and say 30 different things I don’t like about myself, but actually it’s only me that ever says it about myself.
I hope that all made sense
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"So glad you posted this! When I was a teenager I used to self harm hence why I now have sleeve tattoos!)
I get so anxious meeting someone new because I think to myself 'can they tell I have scars?' So sometimes I may mention it beforehand. I've never ever been with someone who has been put off by it. Most of the time they wouldn't have even noticed till I pointed it out!
If I've read that right, it sounds like you have recovered from that period in your life, which I'm glad of. Sorry you went through that though! It's kinda cool you've reclaimed that part of your body and filled it with tattoos that you (hopefully) enjoy looking at 🖤"
Oh yes definitely overcame it and the tattoos were to make sure I never went down that road again...and I didn't I was young and didnt think of consequences back then! |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"I've recently developed some vitiligo on the underside of my penis and the foreskin near the head. No one has seen it since it started so no idea how any would feel"
This is another that I think a lot of people find fascinating or cool! I can see how the placement of that can knock your confidence though. |
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By *iver78Man 13 hours ago
barton upon humber |
I have a big scar on my neck which is very noticeable when I have just stumbled or clean shave , it does make me a tad paranoid and I do notice people tend to stare , then there's the awkward questions , but I never let it stop me meeting someone , and it nothing ever should , it's all part of us |
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I'm quite understanding, I've had grief in the past and occasionally get flare ups. So know how rough it can feel. I've pretty much cycled through all the creams n medicines. I can share if you're overly interested |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"So glad you posted this! When I was a teenager I used to self harm hence why I now have sleeve tattoos!)
I get so anxious meeting someone new because I think to myself 'can they tell I have scars?' So sometimes I may mention it beforehand. I've never ever been with someone who has been put off by it. Most of the time they wouldn't have even noticed till I pointed it out!
If I've read that right, it sounds like you have recovered from that period in your life, which I'm glad of. Sorry you went through that though! It's kinda cool you've reclaimed that part of your body and filled it with tattoos that you (hopefully) enjoy looking at 🖤
Oh yes definitely overcame it and the tattoos were to make sure I never went down that road again...and I didn't I was young and didnt think of consequences back then!"
You definitely don't want to ruin those tattoos now! |
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It actually annoys me how bothered I used to be about meeting people and being conscious of myself. I have spots, stretch marks, surgery scars and the thought of someone seeing me without make up used to fill me with dread. Ive learnt to embrace myself more now, and I'll be damned if I let anyone make me feel bad about myself. We all have insecure moments but honestly, the right people won't care and the ones that do? Fuck em. |
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By *ellsOMan 13 hours ago
hull |
I had really bad eczema as a kid, I have pock marks across my shoulders, back and chest
I still suffer with my hands and feel self conscious all the time
My wrists are so the pigment means I have white patches when I catch the sun
It's why I work tight neck and long sleeve top for years |
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It's something I'll notice but probably wouldn't bring up as it's essentially their story to tell when they feel comfortable, whether it be scars or any kind of skin condition and it most likely wouldn't put me off if I found them attractive in their personality and physically.
You can probably tell from my photos that I have a bit of a skin condition on my legs and bum that I've had my whole life (that I recently found out was called ichthyosis vulgaris) and it was initially the reason I never took any photos of myself. But it's never been brought up either in messages or during meets so it's not something I've thought to tell someone about. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 13 hours ago
Ankh-Morpork |
I’m going to sound terribly shallow but there’s a chance it might, it would depend how extreme the condition was honestly.
I used to live next door to someone who had neurofibromatosis and was terribly disfigured by it. In extreme situations like this I think it would affect my sexual attraction to them.
Generally though, normal life scars, surgical scarring, acne, psoriasis, stretch marks, missing parts etc don’t bother me in the slightest. I have plenty of those of my own.
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"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊"
HS is a bitch! My scars are groin, armpits and under my boobs, all the classic places for HS 🙄
If people don’t like them I don’t care, it’s their problem not mine.
I’m very lucky that Shaggy helps if I have a flare that needs dressing and I can’t reach. He does everything he can to look after me when a flare is bad |
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"I’m going to sound terribly shallow but there’s a chance it might, it would depend how extreme the condition was honestly.
I used to live next door to someone who had neurofibromatosis and was terribly disfigured by it. In extreme situations like this I think it would affect my sexual attraction to them.
Generally though, normal life scars, surgical scarring, acne, psoriasis, stretch marks, missing parts etc don’t bother me in the slightest. I have plenty of those of my own. "
I'm glad you mentioned stretch marks! This is such a common thing that a lot of people feel self conscious about and have seen women wearing some sort of garter belt around their stomach to cover them. I get it if it helps their confidence but I wish they wouldn't as I genuinely find a woman embracing them really sexy. |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"It actually annoys me how bothered I used to be about meeting people and being conscious of myself. I have spots, stretch marks, surgery scars and the thought of someone seeing me without make up used to fill me with dread. Ive learnt to embrace myself more now, and I'll be damned if I let anyone make me feel bad about myself. We all have insecure moments but honestly, the right people won't care and the ones that do? Fuck em."
I get to a point where I think fuck it and it doesn't bother me for a while. Then I'll have a really bad flare up and I'm back to square one again, which is where I am now...
I do aspire to be more confident in my own skin all of the time. I'm glad you've got to that place 🖤 |
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By *ino200Man 12 hours ago
Bournemouth,london and Sienna |
"I suffer with acne and although I've had it for most of my life and used to it, it's still something I'm conscious of. Even getting in the way of meeting people I'm genuinely excited to meet.
Sometimes I feel the need to mention it beforehand like some weird kind of trigger warning, so they don't expect something else.
For those of you with skin conditions, prominent scars, birthmarks or anything else visible, is this something you struggle with too?
And for everyone else, is this something you notice? Something that could put you off? Or doesn't make a difference?
(This isn't a post looking for attention, just a genuine question)
"
Some scars yes they do put me off but i suppose it depends where they are and if i know about them ,you look gorgeous in your pics so dont worry too much . |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I'm quite understanding, I've had grief in the past and occasionally get flare ups. So know how rough it can feel. I've pretty much cycled through all the creams n medicines. I can share if you're overly interested "
I've actually exhausted all treatments the NHS are willing to give me. I recently had a course of Spironolactone as a last ditch effort, which worked so well for a while, but hasn't completely got rid of it. I refuse to take Roaccutane. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 12 hours ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"I’m going to sound terribly shallow but there’s a chance it might, it would depend how extreme the condition was honestly.
I used to live next door to someone who had neurofibromatosis and was terribly disfigured by it. In extreme situations like this I think it would affect my sexual attraction to them.
Generally though, normal life scars, surgical scarring, acne, psoriasis, stretch marks, missing parts etc don’t bother me in the slightest. I have plenty of those of my own.
I'm glad you mentioned stretch marks! This is such a common thing that a lot of people feel self conscious about and have seen women wearing some sort of garter belt around their stomach to cover them. I get it if it helps their confidence but I wish they wouldn't as I genuinely find a woman embracing them really sexy."
Absolutely, I’m more confident in a garter and stockings… not to hide but I think they frame my hips better and with the elasticity changes (weight, stretch marks and scaly lizard skin) having them on is supportive too.
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It doesn't bother me if there are any skin ailments. Obviously if there are extreme seeping wounds happening, that's unlikely to be apparent at a meet in the first place if it did I advise a visit to A n E first.
So far I only met one guy with some skin blocthes at a club we had play in the hot tub and shower area. He said he always feels self conscious about it as it looked worse than it was.
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊"
HS honestly looks so painful. I feel sorry for sufferers and the scar they leave after a flare up is quite shocking. |
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This sort of thing generally doesn't affect my attraction to someone. I don't think there are many people out there that are flawless and I would expect people to have scars, stretch marks, skin conditions etc. As others have said there's potential that there's something that could affect attraction but probably no more so than just not being attracted to someone. |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"It's something I'll notice but probably wouldn't bring up as it's essentially their story to tell when they feel comfortable, whether it be scars or any kind of skin condition and it most likely wouldn't put me off if I found them attractive in their personality and physically.
You can probably tell from my photos that I have a bit of a skin condition on my legs and bum that I've had my whole life (that I recently found out was called ichthyosis vulgaris) and it was initially the reason I never took any photos of myself. But it's never been brought up either in messages or during meets so it's not something I've thought to tell someone about."
That's honestly the first time I've heard you mention it and it doesn't appear overly visible in your pictures at all! But I understand the not wanting to take pictures part. Funnily enough, no one has ever mentioned it to me either. The little voice in the back of my head still tells me that they notice and are too embarrassed to point it out or ask questions though. |
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By *hilloutMan 12 hours ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I feel your pain Op.
I had horrible acne on my back growing up and into my late teens / early 20's. It required a shock treatment of Roaccutane to deal with it. It left scars and blemishes on my back that took years to become comfortable with.
Even now, on occasion my body still thinks it's a teenager and produce some acne which is annoying 🙄
Fortunately, it's not put anyone off. Everyone has their lumps and bumps. |
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"I'm quite understanding, I've had grief in the past and occasionally get flare ups. So know how rough it can feel. I've pretty much cycled through all the creams n medicines. I can share if you're overly interested
I've actually exhausted all treatments the NHS are willing to give me. I recently had a course of Spironolactone as a last ditch effort, which worked so well for a while, but hasn't completely got rid of it. I refuse to take Roaccutane. "
I did the roaccutane(isotretinoin) thing and it was dodgy AF.. you probably know the details. but it kinda worked? Although my issue wasn't directly acne.
Theres a cream called soolantra (ivermectin) which is to treat rosacea, again not directly for acne but works wonders whenever I get blemishes pop up
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By *arierWoman 12 hours ago
birmingham |
"It's something I'll notice but probably wouldn't bring up as it's essentially their story to tell when they feel comfortable, whether it be scars or any kind of skin condition and it most likely wouldn't put me off if I found them attractive in their personality and physically.
You can probably tell from my photos that I have a bit of a skin condition on my legs and bum that I've had my whole life (that I recently found out was called ichthyosis vulgaris) and it was initially the reason I never took any photos of myself. But it's never been brought up either in messages or during meets so it's not something I've thought to tell someone about."
I can honestly say, You have the most perfect peach mr beans 🍑🥵 |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I'm quite understanding, I've had grief in the past and occasionally get flare ups. So know how rough it can feel. I've pretty much cycled through all the creams n medicines. I can share if you're overly interested
I've actually exhausted all treatments the NHS are willing to give me. I recently had a course of Spironolactone as a last ditch effort, which worked so well for a while, but hasn't completely got rid of it. I refuse to take Roaccutane.
I did the roaccutane(isotretinoin) thing and it was dodgy AF.. you probably know the details. but it kinda worked? Although my issue wasn't directly acne.
Theres a cream called soolantra (ivermectin) which is to treat rosacea, again not directly for acne but works wonders whenever I get blemishes pop up
"
The possible side effects and monthly pregnancy and blood tests are wild. They offered me both, but i went with the other option because of that. I know it works absolute wonders for the majority of people, I just didn't want to commit to it after reading up on it. I think i may possibly have had that before, but I'll have a nose. Thank you! |
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One of my ex boyfriends had over a 100 stitches on his left side of his face and down his neck, the sort people would look at but the longer I was with him the less I noticed. Hed gone through a car window screen |
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OP in not sure I can think of anything that would put me off because I think the most important connection is mental... If I'm attracted to your mind then I'll want to pleasure the body, whatever shape, size, colour or condition it is in!
Any one who judges is not worth your time |
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It would definitely be something that I notice, but I don't think it would be something that would put me off.
If it's scars/injuries etc. I would probably ask about them. As long as they are okay with sharing that information of course. |
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Bring a long term psoriasis sufferer. I mention it. Saves the awkwardness. It can cause some awkward reactions but generally it's fine. Can't really do much about it. Unless sone has done magic and I mean magic cream |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I have surgery scars front and back for heart and for skin cancer "
I can see that! I think scars is something that I would slip into a conversation. Not because I find them off putting, but because I'm nosey and want to know how you got it 😅 |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"Bring a long term psoriasis sufferer. I mention it. Saves the awkwardness. It can cause some awkward reactions but generally it's fine. Can't really do much about it. Unless sone has done magic and I mean magic cream "
My husband was covered head to toe in psoriasis when we first got together. It knocked his confidence big time when meeting anyone new, not just fabbers. The cream doesn't work. His has calmed down massively after he quite smoking and got some rounds of UV treatment. |
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I have acne scars, keloids, stretchmarks and scarring from hidradenitis. All pretty prominent. I also have loose skin from having babies. I've just decided not to give a fuck. My body is amazing and has done amazing things. And if anyone is turned off by my skin, then my body is doing its job and filtering out the wrong people 😊. |
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"It's something I'll notice but probably wouldn't bring up as it's essentially their story to tell when they feel comfortable, whether it be scars or any kind of skin condition and it most likely wouldn't put me off if I found them attractive in their personality and physically.
You can probably tell from my photos that I have a bit of a skin condition on my legs and bum that I've had my whole life (that I recently found out was called ichthyosis vulgaris) and it was initially the reason I never took any photos of myself. But it's never been brought up either in messages or during meets so it's not something I've thought to tell someone about.
That's honestly the first time I've heard you mention it and it doesn't appear overly visible in your pictures at all! But I understand the not wanting to take pictures part. Funnily enough, no one has ever mentioned it to me either. The little voice in the back of my head still tells me that they notice and are too embarrassed to point it out or ask questions though. "
I think the hairy legs help with hiding it a bit 😂 but I get what you mean about that little voice even though they probably pay it no mind on the count of you being fucking gorgeous anyway 😘 |
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"It's something I'll notice but probably wouldn't bring up as it's essentially their story to tell when they feel comfortable, whether it be scars or any kind of skin condition and it most likely wouldn't put me off if I found them attractive in their personality and physically.
You can probably tell from my photos that I have a bit of a skin condition on my legs and bum that I've had my whole life (that I recently found out was called ichthyosis vulgaris) and it was initially the reason I never took any photos of myself. But it's never been brought up either in messages or during meets so it's not something I've thought to tell someone about.
I can honestly say, You have the most perfect peach mr beans 🍑🥵"
You're far too kind. I noticed that people actually liked my thighs and bum so the good far outweighs the bad 😉 |
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I have quite bad acne scarring mainly under my chin and down my neck that I can be quite self conscious about. I do wear fake tan so that helps and at worse I hope people think it’s just patchy tan! Xx 😘
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"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊"
Me too!! Sometimes I'm worried they'll be mistaken for an STD lol. I'm sorry you're suffering with it too. Such an ugly condition. I have fewer flare ups since I completely cut out dairy. Maybe it'll help you too. |
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I have scars around my eye and nose but most people don't notice them I think I see them more than others.
Stretch marks and a few other scars ive one on my leg but that only bothers me too.
I tend to tell people I have diastema as thats what bothers me most my tooth gap but it's never going anywhere I think we are our own worst enemies with stuff like this.
But I can honestly say its never put me off anyone so I don't get why we do it to ourselves,if someone likes you they like you scars n all x |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I have quite bad acne scarring mainly under my chin and down my neck that I can be quite self conscious about. I do wear fake tan so that helps and at worse I hope people think it’s just patchy tan! Xx 😘 "
My acne is hormonal so mainly on the lower part of my face also. I have a lot of scaring around my jaw and chin. I do have a face full of freckles which helps because its difficult to distinguish what's a scar and what's a freckle  |
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"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊
HS is a bitch! My scars are groin, armpits and under my boobs, all the classic places for HS 🙄
If people don’t like them I don’t care, it’s their problem not mine.
I’m very lucky that Shaggy helps if I have a flare that needs dressing and I can’t reach. He does everything he can to look after me when a flare is bad"
I've got scars in all the same places. Also on my face. Cutting out dairy and switching to organic paste deodorant massively reduced my flare ups. Wish I'd figured it out before the scarring. Can send you the deodorant I use if you like. Having had armpit flares in years. |
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"I have quite bad acne scarring mainly under my chin and down my neck that I can be quite self conscious about. I do wear fake tan so that helps and at worse I hope people think it’s just patchy tan! Xx 😘
My acne is hormonal so mainly on the lower part of my face also. I have a lot of scaring around my jaw and chin. I do have a face full of freckles which helps because its difficult to distinguish what's a scar and what's a freckle "
Mines the same, my acne from my teens and twenties didn’t scar too bad but I had severe hormonal acne in my early forties that left the scarring! Xx 😘 |
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"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊
HS is a bitch! My scars are groin, armpits and under my boobs, all the classic places for HS 🙄
If people don’t like them I don’t care, it’s their problem not mine.
I’m very lucky that Shaggy helps if I have a flare that needs dressing and I can’t reach. He does everything he can to look after me when a flare is bad
I've got scars in all the same places. Also on my face. Cutting out dairy and switching to organic paste deodorant massively reduced my flare ups. Wish I'd figured it out before the scarring. Can send you the deodorant I use if you like. Having had armpit flares in years. "
*Haven't |
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"I’m going to sound terribly shallow but there’s a chance it might, it would depend how extreme the condition was honestly.
I used to live next door to someone who had neurofibromatosis and was terribly disfigured by it. In extreme situations like this I think it would affect my sexual attraction to them.
Generally though, normal life scars, surgical scarring, acne, psoriasis, stretch marks, missing parts etc don’t bother me in the slightest. I have plenty of those of my own.
I'm glad you mentioned stretch marks! This is such a common thing that a lot of people feel self conscious about and have seen women wearing some sort of garter belt around their stomach to cover them. I get it if it helps their confidence but I wish they wouldn't as I genuinely find a woman embracing them really sexy."
My ex told me that my stretch marks remind him of sunlight shining off a rippling body of water, and I've been in love with my tiger stripes ever since. |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"I have scars around my eye and nose but most people don't notice them I think I see them more than others.
Stretch marks and a few other scars ive one on my leg but that only bothers me too.
I tend to tell people I have diastema as thats what bothers me most my tooth gap but it's never going anywhere I think we are our own worst enemies with stuff like this.
But I can honestly say its never put me off anyone so I don't get why we do it to ourselves,if someone likes you they like you scars n all x"
Tooth gaps!! My friend has one. She's gorgeous, but her little tooth gap just makes her look so unique and even more beautiful 😍 |
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By *arierWoman 12 hours ago
birmingham |
"I have scars around my eye and nose but most people don't notice them I think I see them more than others.
Stretch marks and a few other scars ive one on my leg but that only bothers me too.
I tend to tell people I have diastema as thats what bothers me most my tooth gap but it's never going anywhere I think we are our own worst enemies with stuff like this.
But I can honestly say its never put me off anyone so I don't get why we do it to ourselves,if someone likes you they like you scars n all x
Tooth gaps!! My friend has one. She's gorgeous, but her little tooth gap just makes her look so unique and even more beautiful 😍"
Omg yes tooth gaps are so sexy 🥵 |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 12 hours ago
Scotland |
"Absolutely wouldn't put me off. I'm not that shallow, depends on the person themselves and how they are before something like that "
To be honest I don't think being put off by things like that is shallow. Being visually attracted to someone is a big thing for most people. If there is something that stands out and distracts you from that, I can totally understand it. |
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By *viatrixWoman 12 hours ago
Back in Surrey, Dahlings! |
I suffered from severe acne until I gave birth to my first child aged 31 and then it disappeared.  it used to make me feel so self conscious. I have lots of scarring but nowadays no one has ever said anything to me. When I was younger I used to hear “why don’t you go to a dermatologist?” Yeah, thanks, why didn’t I think of that?? 🙄🙄🙄 or “you’d be so pretty if your face was clear….” Almost every day. Cheers!!! 🙄🙄🙄
I have some scars on my right foot from the surgeries I had when I broke my ankle but no one has seen them or asked about them. I do feel very self conscious about my feet. 
I was once with a guy who’d had open heart surgery and had a massive scar. I wasn’t put off by it. I don’t think I would be. |
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"So glad you posted this! When I was a teenager I used to self harm hence why I now have sleeve tattoos!)
I get so anxious meeting someone new because I think to myself 'can they tell I have scars?' So sometimes I may mention it beforehand. I've never ever been with someone who has been put off by it. Most of the time they wouldn't have even noticed till I pointed it out! "
This is so important to talk about. Thank you for being open . |
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No they part of life part of our story
I have a very large scar from a full abdominal incision and a circular scar next to it where u had to have a temporary bag wile it all healed, I actually like them, people often ask but in a curious way nobody has ever spoke negatively of them |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 11 hours ago
Scotland |
"I suffered from severe acne until I gave birth to my first child aged 31 and then it disappeared. it used to make me feel so self conscious. I have lots of scarring but nowadays no one has ever said anything to me. When I was younger I used to hear “why don’t you go to a dermatologist?” Yeah, thanks, why didn’t I think of that?? 🙄🙄🙄 or “you’d be so pretty if your face was clear….” Almost every day. Cheers!!! 🙄🙄🙄
I have some scars on my right foot from the surgeries I had when I broke my ankle but no one has seen them or asked about them. I do feel very self conscious about my feet.
I was once with a guy who’d had open heart surgery and had a massive scar. I wasn’t put off by it. I don’t think I would be. "
My ex used to go on and on about how pretty I would be if my face wasn't covered in acne. I think that's where the self consciousness stems from to be honest. |
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"Bring a long term psoriasis sufferer. I mention it. Saves the awkwardness. It can cause some awkward reactions but generally it's fine. Can't really do much about it. Unless sone has done magic and I mean magic cream
My husband was covered head to toe in psoriasis when we first got together. It knocked his confidence big time when meeting anyone new, not just fabbers. The cream doesn't work. His has calmed down massively after he quite smoking and got some rounds of UV treatment. "
Great to hear.  |
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Why would it be considered shallow to reject someone due to a skin condition but a preference if you reject them due to their height, weight or skin colour?
Women worry too much about stretch marks, c- section scars and such as it really doesn't bother the vast majority of men. |
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Its who we are and for some theres nothing they can do to prevent, change or mask them.
I'd never judge anyone for anything like this and it wouldn't stop me meeting them.
For example you could be the most hygienic person, but still have acne, you can't help that |
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Scars, birth marks etc make a person unique for me and often attractive.
However skin conditions can be off putting me. Not always but in certain cases/severities.
However I can suggest a great product for helping many skin conditions if anyone wants to PM me. |
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Have met up with a certain Fabster who is a below the knee amputee. I can, hand on heart, say that even a loss of a limb doesn’t put me off.
No one is perfect, each of us has our battle scars that we need to wear with pride. Those scars that can’t be seen often cause more pain.
OP, you are beautiful. Please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise x |
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"I've got some cracking groin scars due to Hidradenitis suppurativa. They just get lived with 😊
HS is a bitch! My scars are groin, armpits and under my boobs, all the classic places for HS 🙄
If people don’t like them I don’t care, it’s their problem not mine.
I’m very lucky that Shaggy helps if I have a flare that needs dressing and I can’t reach. He does everything he can to look after me when a flare is bad
I've got scars in all the same places. Also on my face. Cutting out dairy and switching to organic paste deodorant massively reduced my flare ups. Wish I'd figured it out before the scarring. Can send you the deodorant I use if you like. Having had armpit flares in years. "
I don’t have food triggers, mine is mainly triggered by hormones. When I hit perimenopause it went even more bonkers, but now I’m out the other side it’s calmed down a lot |
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I have a scold scar on my shoulder, up my neck and down the back of my shoulder, it's faded a lot over the years, stands out more with a natural tan. It used to really bother me but not any more, it's me and it makes me unique |
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I have some fairly substantial self inflicted scarring on my arms.
Tbh, it's old and from a different time in my life a long time ago and I pretty much forget about it.
This is making me wonder whether I should actually give people a heads up, it feels different to scarring from (physical) illness or ops (although arguably I was really quite unwell back then)
I have cellulite and stretch marks on my legs. If someone's bothered by that though they can get lost. |
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I forgot to say I have a scar from.my pubic area right up to my tummy button. It's one of those that has staples so very obvious
It was to sort out a perforated bowl
.It was done as an emergency surgery I knew nothing about it. It saved my life if someone was put off by it. It's on them not me |
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By *Effy- OP Woman 10 hours ago
Scotland |
"I have some fairly substantial self inflicted scarring on my arms.
Tbh, it's old and from a different time in my life a long time ago and I pretty much forget about it.
This is making me wonder whether I should actually give people a heads up, it feels different to scarring from (physical) illness or ops (although arguably I was really quite unwell back then)
I have cellulite and stretch marks on my legs. If someone's bothered by that though they can get lost."
No don't do that. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, It's just my silly brain. |
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"I have some fairly substantial self inflicted scarring on my arms.
Tbh, it's old and from a different time in my life a long time ago and I pretty much forget about it.
This is making me wonder whether I should actually give people a heads up, it feels different to scarring from (physical) illness or ops (although arguably I was really quite unwell back then)
I have cellulite and stretch marks on my legs. If someone's bothered by that though they can get lost.
No don't do that. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, It's just my silly brain. "
 |
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By *viatrixWoman 9 hours ago
Back in Surrey, Dahlings! |
"I suffered from severe acne until I gave birth to my first child aged 31 and then it disappeared. it used to make me feel so self conscious. I have lots of scarring but nowadays no one has ever said anything to me. When I was younger I used to hear “why don’t you go to a dermatologist?” Yeah, thanks, why didn’t I think of that?? 🙄🙄🙄 or “you’d be so pretty if your face was clear….” Almost every day. Cheers!!! 🙄🙄🙄
I have some scars on my right foot from the surgeries I had when I broke my ankle but no one has seen them or asked about them. I do feel very self conscious about my feet.
I was once with a guy who’d had open heart surgery and had a massive scar. I wasn’t put off by it. I don’t think I would be.
My ex used to go on and on about how pretty I would be if my face wasn't covered in acne. I think that's where the self consciousness stems from to be honest. "
One exFWB who I was madly in love with, said to me “if only you were slimmer and your face was clear, I’d make you my proper girlfriend and take you home to meet my parents …”  🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fast forward 27 years and we bumped into each other in Chicago. I am looking fabulous, he is really overweight, after being super slim in his youth, haggard, and just… not looking great. He apologised for his behaviour. And he looked at me longingly while I left for the airport in my uniform, haha.
But yeah- people should connect their brain to their mouths before they say anything. My parents took me to so many dermatologists- I had cryotherapy, hormone therapy, the most expensive skincare… the only thing I was not given, despite me begging for it, was Accutane. That was a last resort. So when people said “you should go to a dermatologist….” i wanted to smack them haha x |
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I had keratosis pilaris all over my thighs, bum and arms and still have a small amount of it now. It stopped my having sex or taking my clothes off in front of anyone for the best part of a decade I'm so annoyed with myself now I allowed it to consume me and cause me so much hatred of my body. I spent thousands getting rid of as much as possible but know it can come back again at any time. I regret allowing it to control me. Those years I rejected all intimacy I'll never get back. Saturday gone I had a boudoir/kink photo session and it was beyond liberating. Easier said then done but love the skin your in and no it would never stop me meeting someone that I liked. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 hours ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
I have extensive psoriasis on my lower legs, arms and lower back.
It flares up periodically. It looks horrible. I control it with corticosteroid cream.
I decided, at school, that I wasn't going to hide from life because of it. If anyone asked, I gave them detailed information about it. They usually didn't ask again. I played rugby, sailed, canoed, served in the army, got an amazing girlfriend who I married, and have never let it stop me.
On here, I keep my cream, wear dark stockings, and put my pics up. I'm regularly told my legs are my best physical attribute.
It's not my problem if someone is put off, it's theirs.
🧛🏻♀️ |
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"I suffer with acne and although I've had it for most of my life and used to it, it's still something I'm conscious of. Even getting in the way of meeting people I'm genuinely excited to meet.
Sometimes I feel the need to mention it beforehand like some weird kind of trigger warning, so they don't expect something else.
For those of you with skin conditions, prominent scars, birthmarks or anything else visible, is this something you struggle with too?
And for everyone else, is this something you notice? Something that could put you off? Or doesn't make a difference?
(This isn't a post looking for attention, just a genuine question)
"
Effy... You are genuinely beautiful. Stunning. I know it's not easy sometimes but look after yourself and love yourself and you'll see. |
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Had psoriasis most of my life nothing I can really do about it used to use a scrubbing brush in the bath to remove skin then take a shower straight away to clean myself. Always been super conscious of it to the extent I wouldn't go swimming or partake in any event where any part of my skin would be on show. On some really strong drugs now as had all the light therapy you are allowed . The psoriasis has all but gone but the side effects are evil. Didn't wear shorts or short sleeves till I went on these drugs now thankfully summer isn't as bad for the clothes I feel I can wear but the one thing it truly did to me was knock my confidence so much that I find it really hard to approach people as when most was learning to take rejection and how to approach with silly conversations I was hiding inside already talking through the likelihood of if I actually found that one they would eventually see my skin. Long story short it isn't just the physical sometimes it's the lack of confidence due to the whispers and looks that are always in your mind long after the treatment has worked.........
Hope that makes sense not really ever put into words how it's effected myself and due to my own experience I see beyond marks scars or skin conditions but I do get why others can't . |
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By *sWyldWoman 5 hours ago
Edinburgh |
My stomach is a mess after 3 children. Covered in stretch marks, the shelf and the fact its a lot bigger than my photos suggest. I also have other things I worry might put people off when they meet the reality of me.
However, no one has ever been yet. It doesn't stop my fears or doubts though. |
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Everyone has things they are self conscious about, but whatever it is, it always looks worse to themselves than to others. (Something I read, that I believe rings true)
Our physical attraction to someone is strongly swayed by their personality. |
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