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Socialising as trans
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Tonight was probably one of the worst nights out as trans I’ve had in the last 2 years. I can’t repeat the things that were said to me from several people but you can imagine.
I’m definitely gonna take a break from going out and just stick to online meets with guys. I thought things were getting better and my confidence was growing I’m a bit heartbroken if I’m honest. I think online meets are way better as this brings trans loving men directly to you and you can cut through all the social noise you get in person. |
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I'm so sorry to hear this. 
I really don't understand why people feel the need to be spiteful to someone simply because of their gender. With the way politics and the world is going it feels like we're really regressing as human race.
I hope things get better for you.  |
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Im sorry to hear that as well. No one deserves that.
Some people are just disgusting human beings.
These people get off on demeaning others, usually because they feel inadequate themselves.
They put other people down to make themselves feel better.
Don't let them stop you from going out and having fun.
Unfortunately there will always be a small minority of bigoted racist cunts in this life.
Fuck em all😡
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By *attieTV/TS 3 days ago
Nottingham |
What is wrong with those people?
All you wanna do is go out looking your glamorous best and have a good time and some pathetic small minded shallow thinking morons go and ruin it.
Don't stop being you.
Don't let the haters win.
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 3 days ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Tonight was probably one of the worst nights out as trans I’ve had in the last 2 years. I can’t repeat the things that were said to me from several people but you can imagine.
I’m definitely gonna take a break from going out and just stick to online meets with guys. I thought things were getting better and my confidence was growing I’m a bit heartbroken if I’m honest. I think online meets are way better as this brings trans loving men directly to you and you can cut through all the social noise you get in person. "
This is so horrible. The last thing you need when you're putting yourself out there is for people to be spiteful. I'm sorry it's knocked your confidence. Unfortunately, with the current political and societal trends, more bigots are feeling empowered to do this to those they perceive "don't fit".
I hope your confidence recovers. You're a beautiful person, and I've looked at your pics and thought how nice it must be to look so good. We love you.
🤗❤
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 |
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"Tonight was probably one of the worst nights out as trans I’ve had in the last 2 years. I can’t repeat the things that were said to me from several people but you can imagine.
I’m definitely gonna take a break from going out and just stick to online meets with guys. I thought things were getting better and my confidence was growing I’m a bit heartbroken if I’m honest. I think online meets are way better as this brings trans loving men directly to you and you can cut through all the social noise you get in person. "
Morning Sam,
I wish you hadn't have had to go through what you went through on your night out.
I can't imagine at all what was said to you and it's best I don't as it's all too easy to make up my own stories and come to the wrong conclusions.
I hope you don't give up going out and facing the rough with the smooth as yourself if not least because if you do then who ever made unkind comments has won.
All of us experience unpleasantness at times regardless of gender , age , race , weight, religion , disability , political beliefs , poverty ......... and the rest. I hope the rest of the world doesn't decide to stay in, where will we be then ?
I hope on reflection you will reconsider your reaction. For what it's worth - you really are beautiful.
Certainly , on the outside. I don't know about the inside. You might be a right mare
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Sorry for your bad experience OP.
As a society I personally think we are going backwards, not to get too political but this toxic culture has been driven by certain works leaders sewing hatred and division, add this to online influences and social media driving hatred people seem incapable of individual thoughts these days and follow whatever herd they hitch their wagons to.
As someone who grew up in the 70's and 80's i genuinely believe that was more of a tolerant era.
Whilst yes openly homophonic and racism was rife on telly also at the time with fashion "gender benders " as it was known and previously glam rocks out and about people dressed as they wanted and it was pretty accepted.
We seem to have turned into a very bland and vanilla culture.
I hope your experience hasn't put you off perhaps find out if any local trans wants to get together for socialising?
As a straight 50 plus year old male I have no idea what you are going through but wish you all the best. |
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I’m so sorry this has happened lovely. Everyone deserves the right to live their best life, free of judgement and harassment.
It’s a shame you’re so far away, I was going to say if you ever wanted a mate/s to go out with and give you some extra support or backup- we’d be happy to help!
Mrs xx |
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Sorry to hear this - as someone with very little confidence to begin with, I can empathise how bad nights can be devastating.
Sounds like you have a plan though - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and hope you find happiness |
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Sam im going against the grain a little. As hostile as it can feel out there, the world has never been more open to trans or gay people. It IS kinder, but there are still bigoted idiots. Many many went before you to make that change happen (including me, showing my age now).
You have a choice even if right now it doesn’t feel like it.
Either you let your world get smaller and smaller, question yourself until YOU get smaller and smaller, or lift your head up, shoulders back, and get back out there. You will thrive, in time you’ll understand that you do so not in spite of the hostility but because there is no other way.
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Have no idea what it must be like for anyone to experience any kind of verbal abuse for being true to themselves.
Can only imagine the heartache and pain it causes.
Hopefully you have good friends and family around who will pick you up when you are down and comfort you.
It is sad that there are still people out there who are angered by all the shades of the beautiful that is the human race.
Tonight at a family dinner with young and old present my brother admitted taking kids out of school on the hottest day of year. “they were ONLY going to be doing Pride things”. I commented that my eldest son had earned house points this week because of his eagerness taking part in Pride related activities at his school. And that it was a shame I was away on holiday this year during Pride as I have my boys for that weekend which doesn’t always happen and was hoping to take them.
The look of shock that I would choose to go to Pride, or that I would take my children to Pride was saddening. I had to tell them it was one of the most joyous days to be in the City.
But sadly that’s someone in my generation who can’t think further than the binary. The younger generation are more understanding and more open but there is still sadly a long way to go, and as parents I feel we have a big responsibility to change or adapt our world views from what was drummed into us to make the world a better place for the next generation. |
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By *oobaaMan 3 days ago
Sth Tyne |
Sam, please please do not let these idiots win.
Get that gorgeous little arse of yours in gear and get back out there and show everyone that pretty face and smile you have been blessed with.
You will win. |
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Hey Op, there are so many messages of support pouring in here, and I really hope they wrap around you like a big hug and give you the strength to get through this horrible experience.
I know exactly how you feel—I’ve had some really nasty moments in the past where it all felt too heavy, like it wasn’t worth it for my mental health.
But I also learned that hiding away and avoiding people didn’t make things better either. The light started coming back when I gently pushed myself to stay connected, even in small ways. You’re not alone in this. We’ve got each other, and hopefully brighter days are ahead for you.
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"Have no idea what it must be like for anyone to experience any kind of verbal abuse for being true to themselves.
Can only imagine the heartache and pain it causes.
Hopefully you have good friends and family around who will pick you up when you are down and comfort you.
It is sad that there are still people out there who are angered by all the shades of the beautiful that is the human race.
Tonight at a family dinner with young and old present my brother admitted taking kids out of school on the hottest day of year. “they were ONLY going to be doing Pride things”. I commented that my eldest son had earned house points this week because of his eagerness taking part in Pride related activities at his school. And that it was a shame I was away on holiday this year during Pride as I have my boys for that weekend which doesn’t always happen and was hoping to take them.
The look of shock that I would choose to go to Pride, or that I would take my children to Pride was saddening. I had to tell them it was one of the most joyous days to be in the City.
But sadly that’s someone in my generation who can’t think further than the binary. The younger generation are more understanding and more open but there is still sadly a long way to go, and as parents I feel we have a big responsibility to change or adapt our world views from what was drummed into us to make the world a better place for the next generation."
Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion. |
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How I wish people would just mind their own bloody business and let others be who they want to be. Nobody is going to change their gender or sexual orientation just by reading or hearing about it, if that was true there would be only straight people who remained as their gender assigned at birth. Nobody is genuinely at risk of harm talking to a trans person 🤦unless it's from people who think they shouldn't be doing it.
We saw a person in Tunbridge Wells town centre once, full beard and tache wearing a gorgeous green skirt and jacket suit, just minding their own business. People were outright staring, pointing and laughing, I admired their calm in the face of ridicule and wondered why the pointy, starey people didn't get our and see more of the world |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion. "
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you. |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you."
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them. |
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By *erdyHollyTV/TS 3 days ago
In a galaxy far far away |
"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them. "
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum. |
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Sam it's still raw right now and your mind is all over the place. I know as i went through it myself, My first thoughts was shall i give up dressing then should i only go to clubs. Well after about a week or two thought fuckem 
These kind of things don't happen very often but when they do they bloody hurt. Give yourself time and like Granny say's don't let them win hug xx
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 3 days ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them. "
May I respectfully suggest that if you want to pursue this line of debate, you start a new thread specifically for that topic? No, I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to try to shout you down, or argue with you here.
This thread is to support a person who had an unpleasant experience of prejudice.
Whatever the merits of your line of argument, this isn't the thread for it, and the acrimony that such a contentious debate will engender isn't really fair on the OP of this thread. You'd show your consideration by starting a new thread.
🖤 |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 3 days ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them. "
Rather unpleasant. |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum."
He’s just demonstrated he is the type to kick people when they’re down. Let people show the site who they are. |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum."
Understood. In the spirit of fairness can you also give the same advice to the person who commented saying their child got house points for pride activities at school and that parents need to change their world views to make the world a better place? |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum."
Are you the thread monitor? Isn't it for the contributors to decide what they contribute, or do we all have to check with first? |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum.
He’s just demonstrated he is the type to kick people when they’re down. Let people show the site who they are."
I think he's just the type of person who his his own opinion. That may not be your opinion. But you'll have to live with that |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
Rather unpleasant."
Oh the irony |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
May I respectfully suggest that if you want to pursue this line of debate, you start a new thread specifically for that topic? No, I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to try to shout you down, or argue with you here.
This thread is to support a person who had an unpleasant experience of prejudice.
Whatever the merits of your line of argument, this isn't the thread for it, and the acrimony that such a contentious debate will engender isn't really fair on the OP of this thread. You'd show your consideration by starting a new thread.
🖤"
May I respectively suggest, you post what you want and he posts what he wants. It's called a forum for a reason. You are most certainly not here to decide what others post x |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 3 days ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
May I respectfully suggest that if you want to pursue this line of debate, you start a new thread specifically for that topic? No, I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to try to shout you down, or argue with you here.
This thread is to support a person who had an unpleasant experience of prejudice.
Whatever the merits of your line of argument, this isn't the thread for it, and the acrimony that such a contentious debate will engender isn't really fair on the OP of this thread. You'd show your consideration by starting a new thread.
🖤
May I respectively suggest, you post what you want and he posts what he wants. It's called a forum for a reason. You are most certainly not here to decide what others post x"
Sigh. Thank you for making my point.
I didn't tell him to shut up, or that he wasn't allowed to post it. I made a suggestion, in the interests of trying to keep the thread from degenerating, off-topic, into this sort of "you can't tell me what to say" slanging match. It is a forum, and if it doesn't break the forum rules, you're perfectly entitled to post what you like. And I'm perfectly entitled to politely ask for some consideration for the OP on the thread they started. I'm sorry if you're somehow offended by that, but I really wasn't rude, nor did I try to dictate what can be posted. I just suggested a separate thread for it might be more appropriate.
Was that unreasonable? |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
May I respectfully suggest that if you want to pursue this line of debate, you start a new thread specifically for that topic? No, I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to try to shout you down, or argue with you here.
This thread is to support a person who had an unpleasant experience of prejudice.
Whatever the merits of your line of argument, this isn't the thread for it, and the acrimony that such a contentious debate will engender isn't really fair on the OP of this thread. You'd show your consideration by starting a new thread.
🖤
May I respectively suggest, you post what you want and he posts what he wants. It's called a forum for a reason. You are most certainly not here to decide what others post x
Sigh. Thank you for making my point.
I didn't tell him to shut up, or that he wasn't allowed to post it. I made a suggestion, in the interests of trying to keep the thread from degenerating, off-topic, into this sort of "you can't tell me what to say" slanging match. It is a forum, and if it doesn't break the forum rules, you're perfectly entitled to post what you like. And I'm perfectly entitled to politely ask for some consideration for the OP on the thread they started. I'm sorry if you're somehow offended by that, but I really wasn't rude, nor did I try to dictate what can be posted. I just suggested a separate thread for it might be more appropriate.
Was that unreasonable? "
You were very polite indeed, when Trying to dictate what he was allowed to post. He was also very polite in what he posted. You both get 10/10 for polite posting. He still gets to post whatever he wants even if you haven't approved it first, no matter how polite you both are |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum.
He’s just demonstrated he is the type to kick people when they’re down. Let people show the site who they are.
I think he's just the type of person who his his own opinion. That may not be your opinion. But you'll have to live with that"
It’s zero about his opinion (which he is absolutely entitled to) it’s about time and place to express it.
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Really sorry to hear this Sam. Your a very attractive woman. Please dont let this one bad experience put you off, go out and get them.
Ignore the unpleasant people on this thread they should start their own thread |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum.
He’s just demonstrated he is the type to kick people when they’re down. Let people show the site who they are.
I think he's just the type of person who his his own opinion. That may not be your opinion. But you'll have to live with that
It’s zero about his opinion (which he is absolutely entitled to) it’s about time and place to express it.
"
And its for you to decide the time and the place? How very important you must be. How does everyone find out in advance the pre approved time and the place? We would all hate to make the same mistake he made. X |
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"Tonight was probably one of the worst nights out as trans I’ve had in the last 2 years. I can’t repeat the things that were said to me from several people but you can imagine.
I’m definitely gonna take a break from going out and just stick to online meets with guys. I thought things were getting better and my confidence was growing I’m a bit heartbroken if I’m honest. I think online meets are way better as this brings trans loving men directly to you and you can cut through all the social noise you get in person. "
Sorry you experienced that abuse, particularly as it’s my local area and I lived up there for a while. I always considered NE folk to be friendly and welcoming so disappointed to hear some folk are hateful |
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By *erdyHollyTV/TS 3 days ago
In a galaxy far far away |
"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum.
Are you the thread monitor? Isn't it for the contributors to decide what they contribute, or do we all have to check with first?"
Give it a rest.
If you can't see what he posted was wrong on a thread like this, then there's something wrong with you. |
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"Drumming new views into kids is not good if these new views compromise a child's mental health and natural development; for example, telling a male child that they can become a female. Making the world a better place does not happen through lies and accepting delusion.
You are right of course. It happens when there are less people like you.
Because I won't play along with another person's delusion? It's not helping a person by telling them their delusion is real, it's harming them.
This is not the thread to talk about like this.
Have some decorum.
Are you the thread monitor? Isn't it for the contributors to decide what they contribute, or do we all have to check with first?
Give it a rest.
If you can't see what he posted was wrong on a thread like this, then there's something wrong with you."
So not happy with deciding what he is allowed to post, you are now deciding what I'm allowed to post. How very important you must think you are. X |
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My word. Somebody shares their vulnerability and abuse and their humanity gets ignored because it's more important to use "correctly" categorise their genitals. Absolutely bizarre to me that people have to share the world their views than bite their tongue. Hey ho
Sorry for your experience OP |
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To the OP, I'm genuinely sorry that you had that experience, it's a shame that people still behave that way and that you have suffered because of it. Unfortunately, suffering is a by-product of our existence and we must do our best to educate those that choose to cause suffering, and where we can't, we must learn to suffer well.
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"To the OP, I'm genuinely sorry that you had that experience, it's a shame that people still behave that way and that you have suffered because of it. Unfortunately, suffering is a by-product of our existence and we must do our best to educate those that choose to cause suffering, and where we can't, we must learn to suffer well.
"
Earlier on this thread you called transgender a delusion. |
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"To the OP, I'm genuinely sorry that you had that experience, it's a shame that people still behave that way and that you have suffered because of it. Unfortunately, suffering is a by-product of our existence and we must do our best to educate those that choose to cause suffering, and where we can't, we must learn to suffer well.
Earlier on this thread you called transgender a delusion. "
This is correct, it's unfortunate, but that's reality for you. A male cannot become a female, and the opposite is also true. It's rubbish that the OP has had this experience. My initial reference to delusional was relating to pride events at schools; let's not damage children by lying to them please. |
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I don't think SpankingNorfolk gave enough details about what the Pride related activities were to come to the conclusion it was anything about trans people. Even if it was the world these children are growing up in is incredibly diverse. Excluding these topics from the classroom doesn't stop children from interacting with, or even being, trans people; it only prevents them from having the vocabulary to understand the world as it actually is. Providing age-appropriate, factual information helps students navigate society with curiosity and maturity, rather than fear. |
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Absolutely no one has the right to make you feel this way. And I am so sorry that someone has made you feel this way.
Everyone should be like "you do you and I will do me, and let's just respect each others choices."
Let's not be dicks to each other, is fundamental to a decent society, where you can be and live as you want.
And to the other poster:
Pride at schools is nothing to do with brainwashing children. It is about them understanding the struggle that other people in previous generations have had in order to be free from prejudice.
It allows them to be aware that what they feel is not wrong, whether straight, gay, lesbian, or whether they want to live as a male or female.
I grew up wanting to know I wasn't a freak for being attracted to boys and girls; there was no support at schools then, or later in the Army where it was illegal. Kids in school have support to be who they want to be.
I think that we live in enlightened times, but there's so much more to be done in order to normalise what should be celebrated.
Fuck the haters
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"I don't think SpankingNorfolk gave enough details about what the Pride related activities were to come to the conclusion it was anything about trans people. Even if it was the world these children are growing up in is incredibly diverse. Excluding these topics from the classroom doesn't stop children from interacting with, or even being, trans people; it only prevents them from having the vocabulary to understand the world as it actually is. Providing age-appropriate, factual information helps students navigate society with curiosity and maturity, rather than fear. "
Age-appropriate factual information is given to children in biology lessons where they learn that humans are either male or female and that the human species needs one of each sex to reproduce, without medical intervention, and that the sex of a human cannot be changed. |
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