Do you remember those adverts you put in certain papers and magazines saying a bit about you and what you were looking for? Go on then, do one and post here and see who replies. Write to create interest. Obviously they can only reply directly to you if filters allow. If not, they can also post their reply here and then you decide what to do with it.  |
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Petite lady, 50, wants to meet London gentleman, 60+ for dining, dancing, travel and much more
Must have some vices like swearing, smoking, drinking or football. Prefer a multi-millionaire for lasting relationship. Will answer all. |
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A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
hia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 & 5. |
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By *wcoMan 13 hours ago
West Midlands |
Male, late 50s, going through a bit of a stressy time so can't really be fvkkin bothered with people. Happily married but not that happy that me Mrs won't be totally pissed if she catches me at it, so your place or yours, either is fine be me.
I'm not one for giving gifts, making much effort or showing absolutely any sign that I'm bothered if you meet me or not. I spend most of my time being selfish and/or miserable and don't do meals out, meals in or smiling at people. Apply within for fun times.
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By *wcoMan 13 hours ago
West Midlands |
"Woman, 30 something. Seeks rich man in the later stages of life. An ongoing heart condition and no written will is preferable. Please get in touch. "
Dear Effy,
I do have a written will but I'm not sure all my houses are included in it. I don't have an ongoing heart condition (that I know of) but I can pant when I climb stairs, for effect...if that helps? |
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Petite brunette 55, bit of a munter, well past her best and totally shit craic would like to meet a gentleman of a similar age that has a drab outlook on life, no get up and go, who is the blandest of vanilla, who will pull my nightie down when he's finished and sleep in the wet patch ..... 😈 |
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*About me:*
Chatty, flirty, feisty. glam, sarcastic with a GSOH
If you can match my wit, keep up with my energy, and don’t take yourself too seriously... let’s talk.
I’m the friend you can’t shut up, the flirt who doesn’t play dumb, and the glam one who’ll roast you with a smile. Feisty? Only if you’re fun. Sarcastic? Always. GSOH? Bring yours.
No time wasters, no head games. Just good company and better banter.
 |
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By *Effy-Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"Woman, 30 something. Seeks rich man in the later stages of life. An ongoing heart condition and no written will is preferable. Please get in touch.
Dear Effy,
I do have a written will but I'm not sure all my houses are included in it. I don't have an ongoing heart condition (that I know of) but I can pant when I climb stairs, for effect...if that helps? "
How's your balance? |
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"Male, late 50s, going through a bit of a stressy time so can't really be fvkkin bothered with people. Happily married but not that happy that me Mrs won't be totally pissed if she catches me at it, so your place or yours, either is fine be me.
I'm not one for giving gifts, making much effort or showing absolutely any sign that I'm bothered if you meet me or not. I spend most of my time being selfish and/or miserable and don't do meals out, meals in or smiling at people. Apply within for fun times.
"
Dear reader, unfortunately your advert has been rejected as it has exceeded the maximum length of 50 words which is clearly stated in the original post and is part of terms and conditions for publication. You can resubmit your advert with no more than 50 words if you wish. |
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Slightly sarcastic, reasonably house-trained, and an expert at making bad decisions sound like good ideas. Looking for someone who enjoys laughs, cheeky flirting, takeaways, and blaming me when the sat nav gets us lost.
Must have a sense of humour. Good looks are optional... you'll need your eyes testing to fancy me anyway. |
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By *wcoMan 13 hours ago
West Midlands |
"Woman, 30 something. Seeks rich man in the later stages of life. An ongoing heart condition and no written will is preferable. Please get in touch.
Dear Effy,
I do have a written will but I'm not sure all my houses are included in it. I don't have an ongoing heart condition (that I know of) but I can pant when I climb stairs, for effect...if that helps?
How's your balance? "
Not noted on my medical records so be careful not to leave any evidence. |
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Male, 39, greying dark hair, blue eyes, 6ft tall, alive, medium build, frequently gets diarrhoea but has good handle on it, loves meat and cheese, willing to learn french or sign language.
Seeking woman. Must be at least slightly alive, human, damn run out of words |
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 |
By *Effy-Woman 13 hours ago
Scotland |
"Woman, 30 something. Seeks rich man in the later stages of life. An ongoing heart condition and no written will is preferable. Please get in touch.
Dear Effy,
I do have a written will but I'm not sure all my houses are included in it. I don't have an ongoing heart condition (that I know of) but I can pant when I climb stairs, for effect...if that helps?
How's your balance?
Not noted on my medical records so be careful not to leave any evidence. "
Yep ✍️ |
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By *wcoMan 13 hours ago
West Midlands |
"
Petite brunette 55, bit of a munter, well past her best and totally shit craic would like to meet a gentleman of a similar age that has a drab outlook on life, no get up and go, who is the blandest of vanilla, who will pull my nightie down when he's finished and sleep in the wet patch ..... 😈"
Dear Kitty,
Sorry, too lackluster to be a gentleman so bland comes naturally. Not so bothered what ice cream flavor you've got but I am impressed that you're sympathetic towards my incontinence.
|
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By *wcoMan 13 hours ago
West Midlands |
"Male, late 50s, going through a bit of a stressy time so can't really be fvkkin bothered with people. Happily married but not that happy that me Mrs won't be totally pissed if she catches me at it, so your place or yours, either is fine be me.
I'm not one for giving gifts, making much effort or showing absolutely any sign that I'm bothered if you meet me or not. I spend most of my time being selfish and/or miserable and don't do meals out, meals in or smiling at people. Apply within for fun times.
Dear reader, unfortunately your advert has been rejected as it has exceeded the maximum length of 50 words which is clearly stated in the original post and is part of terms and conditions for publication. You can resubmit your advert with no more than 50 words if you wish. "
Can I not just pay twice? |
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"Petite lady, 50, wants to meet London gentleman, 60+ for dining, dancing, travel and much more
Must have some vices like swearing, smoking, drinking or football. Prefer a multi-millionaire for lasting relationship. Will answer all."
Oh what a shame 😕
I'm just your basic millionaire, not a multi-millionaire 😂 |
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By *wcoMan 12 hours ago
West Midlands |
"
*About me:*
Chatty, flirty, feisty. glam, sarcastic with a GSOH
If you can match my wit, keep up with my energy, and don’t take yourself too seriously... let’s talk.
I’m the friend you can’t shut up, the flirt who doesn’t play dumb, and the glam one who’ll roast you with a smile. Feisty? Only if you’re fun. Sarcastic? Always. GSOH? Bring yours.
No time wasters, no head games. Just good company and better banter.
"
Dear Poly,
To be honest, I'm a bit scared.
Bye. |
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"
*About me:*
Chatty, flirty, feisty. glam, sarcastic with a GSOH
If you can match my wit, keep up with my energy, and don’t take yourself too seriously... let’s talk.
I’m the friend you can’t shut up, the flirt who doesn’t play dumb, and the glam one who’ll roast you with a smile. Feisty? Only if you’re fun. Sarcastic? Always. GSOH? Bring yours.
No time wasters, no head games. Just good company and better banter.
Dear Poly,
To be honest, I'm a bit scared.
Bye. "
Then don't apply  |
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"SWF 49 seeks male with a bit of a sadistic streak.
Must have good taste in music and films and make good coffee.
Own teeth essential.
Can coffee ever be changed to Tea? "
Absolutely not thats too sadistic  |
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"Do you remember those adverts you put in certain papers and magazines saying a bit about you and what you were looking for? Go on then, do one and post here and see who replies. Write to create interest. Obviously they can only reply directly to you if filters allow. If not, they can also post their reply here and then you decide what to do with it. " more reliable than Fab, brilliant if you worked away |
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Single, 51yo F seeks regular, assertive M for chemistry, consistency and a little kinky chaos. Must be confident, sarcastic-friendly, and able to manage occasional back chat without running for the door. Bonus points if you know how to handle rope. |
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Some great adverts here. Hopefully some will match and reply. As I will no longer be doing my 'You match' thread for reasons I could not possibly comment on, this is a good alternative and reminiscent of the old times. Enjoy  |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 9 hours ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Late 50s (1850s) Mistress of the Night with a bit extra, seeks her Dark Prince. Must enjoy full moons, graveyards at dusk, incense and black candles. Meet only after sundown at my crypt to share a goblet of red wine, and see what else we can get our teeth into... |
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Fun, cute, willing to please, all rounder seeks leather/latex clad female evil genius to continue the world domination goal. Great with my hands, can build anything, can be rough or gentle, very vivid imagination.
GSOH required, evil laugh is a must, non negotiable. |
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