Why is it so important to some? Do you think people who crave it see it as a form of acceltance or is it actually an ego trip or perhaps the result of some underlying inadequacy? The lengths to which people go to achieve that, often forgeting decency norms on the way, is a rather worrying trend don't you think? You notice it in everyday life in general, work and even in here. |
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By *Effy-Woman 10 hours ago
Scotland |
Building up and maintaining your own self esteem is a difficult thing for some to do. Instead they look outward and seek that validation from the people around them.
For some it's an ego thing.
For others they're just likeable people and that can sometimes be misinterpreted as attention seeking. |
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Good question.
I think genuinely popular people (of above school age) don't really try, they're just the kind of person people are drawn to.
The ones who chase popularity maybe draw their self esteem from the approbation of others.
We do live in a world now where 'likes' and 'followers ' are seen as a measure of worth |
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I think it can be a combination of all those things.
People want to be part of something, to feel connected to others.
But whether that becomes healthy or unhealthy totally depends on the persons nature.
Some people let it go straight to their head... |
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Some of us don't want or need to be popular. Its nice to be known and liked though.
I do find it strange how so many want to be centre of attention. It does often appear as if they're compensating for something. |
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"I’ve got a box of I ❤️ Glow badges if anyone wants one, can’t seem to give em away.
I cpuld point to someone who will strike the name off and add their own but I am resisting  "
Someone has irritated you I assume MB? |
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Being popular isn't a negative but I can see how it can make an unpopular person who craves popularity , jealous or cause them to feel inadequate
Getting attention isn't the same as popularity.
Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin. |
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"I’ve got a box of I ❤️ Glow badges if anyone wants one, can’t seem to give em away.
I cpuld point to someone who will strike the name off and add their own but I am resisting
Someone has irritated you I assume MB? "
Not particularly. Just observing the world around me  |
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By *Effy-Woman 10 hours ago
Scotland |
"Being popular isn't a negative but I can see how it can make an unpopular person who craves popularity , jealous or cause them to feel inadequate
Getting attention isn't the same as popularity.
Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin. "
I agree with the first part. Feeling like you're peering through the other side of a window watching the party going on inside isn't a nice feeling. And I think for some, that feeling creates some resentment towards those that they consider popular. |
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I like this from above so copying it again, in quotation marks of course.
"Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin." |
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"I like this from above so copying it again, in quotation marks of course.
"Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin.""
Try getting all that on a badge though.. |
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I see plenty of YouTube channels (mostly American) and they have the camera focused on themselves with almost nothing about the topic shown. Same with reaction videos. People actually pay just to watch other people watching content. Even video gamers streaming a full walkthrough will have a tiny window at the corner of the screen showing their reaction as they just stare at the screen for 3 hours playing the game or watching the film. I never follow the herd mentality or popular trends. If I see everyone go to the left, then I deliberately go to the right. If they all go right, then I go left. I was rarely noticed at school or college because I never craved any attention, never bought into any trends or used modern slang. I still have no idea what "67" means. |
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"I see plenty of YouTube channels (mostly American) and they have the camera focused on themselves with almost nothing about the topic shown. Same with reaction videos. People actually pay just to watch other people watching content. Even video gamers streaming a full walkthrough will have a tiny window at the corner of the screen showing their reaction as they just stare at the screen for 3 hours playing the game or watching the film. I never follow the herd mentality or popular trends. If I see everyone go to the left, then I deliberately go to the right. If they all go right, then I go left. I was rarely noticed at school or college because I never craved any attention, never bought into any trends or used modern slang. I still have no idea what "67" means."
67 means something is fine, it’s good, it’s ok.
I hate that I know this. |
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"Being popular isn't a negative but I can see how it can make an unpopular person who craves popularity , jealous or cause them to feel inadequate
Getting attention isn't the same as popularity.
Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin.
I agree with the first part. Feeling like you're peering through the other side of a window watching the party going on inside isn't a nice feeling. And I think for some, that feeling creates some resentment towards those that they consider popular. "
That's a good analogy Effe . I particularly agree with 'resentment' and your statement that some 'consider' others to be popular or to be seen as popular. Maybe that's a feeling of inadequacy within themselves.
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Nothing wrong with being popular and many achieve this in an understated way or ways that makes them worthy of their popularity. I was mainly referring to those with the misguided hunger to do so and the means by which they go to achieve it. |
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By *Effy-Woman 9 hours ago
Scotland |
"Nothing wrong with being popular and many achieve this in an understated way or ways that makes them worthy of their popularity. I was mainly referring to those with the misguided hunger to do so and the means by which they go to achieve it. "
You'll find that people who alter their personality to appear more likeable to others slip up eventually. It's not something you can maintain for very long. I wouldn't pay much mind to it. |
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You can see it a mile off in the forums on this site. The lengths some men will go to, to look popular is quite funny. No names mentioning, but there are a few regular forum members who, I'd say, write things in order to fit in. Obviously this is fine if it's the angle you're going for, but to me it looks a bit cringy. |
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By *reya73Woman 9 hours ago
Whitley Bay |
Having a sense of belonging is a beautiful, natural part of being human. There is so much comparison and judgement set up everywhere. In our education systems we are not encouraged to value people for their natural gifts .. only for their achievements.
We seek validation because various systems (family, relationships, education, culture) have let us down one way or another. Co regulation is ever more discounted because of media and convenience yet it's a super necessary part of building inner resilience and less jumping about to be seen.
Craving or seeking popularity is probably looking for validation.
There's a nice Carl Jung quote, something like ..
'those who only look outside remain dreamers, those who look within, awaken' .. but I think we need a bit of both, at different times.
Aww bless us all daft complex cute broken and beautiful stupid awesome ridiculous epic humans |
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I definitely think there are people out there that crave the attention but equally people that just stand out and naturally get the attention, do people try to hard absolutely, people like to feel important but everyone should just be who they are and not have to put that much effort into being liked. |
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I met a man a few years ago who had retired as a teacher and careers advisor.
He said he knew it was time to go when instead of students answering the age old question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" with an actual profession, they would reply by saying that they wanted to be famous.
This was just before the genesis of the internet and online influencers.
I've seen some people over the years stoop to levels I didn't think were possible to try and get others to take notice of them, mostly in work scenarios.
Since joining fab I've become cynical because I've witnessed how disposable some people can be to others, all in the name of popularity.
The need to remain relevant in an online "community", the validation fix and the manipulation all of the above requires all lead me to ask many fab users......
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" |
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"I met a man a few years ago who had retired as a teacher and careers advisor.
He said he knew it was time to go when instead of students answering the age old question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" with an actual profession, they would reply by saying that they wanted to be famous.
This was just before the genesis of the internet and online influencers.
I've seen some people over the years stoop to levels I didn't think were possible to try and get others to take notice of them, mostly in work scenarios.
Since joining fab I've become cynical because I've witnessed how disposable some people can be to others, all in the name of popularity.
The need to remain relevant in an online "community", the validation fix and the manipulation all of the above requires all lead me to ask many fab users......
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "
A kid again…… |
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"I met a man a few years ago who had retired as a teacher and careers advisor.
He said he knew it was time to go when instead of students answering the age old question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" with an actual profession, they would reply by saying that they wanted to be famous.
This was just before the genesis of the internet and online influencers.
I've seen some people over the years stoop to levels I didn't think were possible to try and get others to take notice of them, mostly in work scenarios.
Since joining fab I've become cynical because I've witnessed how disposable some people can be to others, all in the name of popularity.
The need to remain relevant in an online "community", the validation fix and the manipulation all of the above requires all lead me to ask many fab users......
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "
Not sure i'll ever grow up 
But yes I agree, the aspiration to be famous is rife amoungst the younger generations. Influencers, tiktok famous etc, many see it as easy. Ask anyone with even a half succesful page on any platform (even OFans) and they will tell you exactly how hard it is to maintain the constant stream of content required to keep their page relavant and appealing. |
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By *eliWoman 3 hours ago
. |
"Being popular isn't a negative but I can see how it can make an unpopular person who craves popularity , jealous or cause them to feel inadequate
Getting attention isn't the same as popularity.
Truly popular people don't really try. Others are drawn to them for various reasons. They don't generally seek others approval and are quite comfortable in their own skin. "
^ This.
Also.... let's say Person A who I see as being desperate to be popular because they keep mentioning how they're "not like others" in a pick me fashion.
Another person might think "wow, they're so smart and whatever". It doesn't mean that they are desperate for validation, that they have all this crap attached, it's two people with their own biases and experiences judging.
People who are actually chasing fame and popularity? Not the same. |
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Maybe it's just me but for as long as I can remember I've had the attitude that if I had to work to get attention or be accepted then those people weren't my people anyway.
I've never had a desire to be popular and have ended many friendships or had them ended over the years because I wouldn't pander to them or do things just because everyone else was doing them.
People gravitate towards me because they are comfortable in my presence and feel they can trust me rather than because I'm in with the in crowd. |
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I don’t really seek or crave popularity, if I’m honest. I’m not into social media, chasing followers, or waiting on notifications to tell me how many likes I’ve got for posting some rose‑tinted version of my life. Same on here with fabs on photos, it just doesn’t do much for me… I’d probably forget to check them anyway.
What I actually value is peace, contentment, and my close circle of friends in real life. That’s what matters.
On here, I’m just looking for a bit of connection and some fun along the way… not building an influencer empire 😄 |
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Most people I know who appear popular, both in real life and in the land of Fab, are disliked for some reason by just as many people.
Maybe because of that perception of popularity, maybe because of something different. 🤷♂️
Chasing popularity has always seemed pointless to me. There'll always be someone new and shiny along soon. Best to find your people and live a happy life.
Obi |
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I blame the parents. If you regularly tell children how great they are, compliment them on how they look, or how clever they 'are', rather than what they earn, try hard at, achieve, then they will expect the same validation from others. And when they don't get it, they will go looking for it, it becomes a deep rooted need to compensate their insecurity |
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By *wcoMan 1 hour ago
West Midlands |
Nobody comes on here and wants to be ignored so in some small way, everybody seeks some level of popularity. Some go a step further by posting endless pics and videos (thank you), provocative thread titles or coming up with daft games. It's all harmless really.
In real life, I see the opposite; people going out of their way to be completely obtuse and awkward. |
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"Most people I know who appear popular, both in real life and in the land of Fab, are disliked for some reason by just as many people.
"
I think that's very true, especially on here, where popularity is not as genuine as in real life, based on boobs and whether you think you might have a chance of sex by praising them publicly.
There's a couple of exceptions, there are people that are genuinely nice people on and off-line, and so they are liked by people here for who they are & by people that know them off-line, interestingly, some of the online-only popular people dislike them 🤔
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Guys - it doesn’t mean anything... no one should sideline themselves or create some nonsensical category.
Just be kind, be there for your people don’t take yourself too seriously and focus on the good traits the people around you have. All the rest will fall into place. Show the good side and we’ll all be drawn towards you OP. |
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Some people are just naturally nice people who you warm to. It's nice to be liked for the person you are, and not in an ego stroking 'look at me, I'm the dogs bollocks' kind of way. And in terms of the forums, it's definitely nice to feel included and part of the community. They would be no fun otherwise. |
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"Guys - it doesn’t mean anything... no one should sideline themselves or create some nonsensical category.
Just be kind, be there for your people don’t take yourself too seriously and focus on the good traits the people around you have. All the rest will fall into place. Show the good side and we’ll all be drawn towards you OP. "
I like this answer. |
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