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High expectations, minimum effort
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So a woman on here who I've met and am in contact with both here and away from here has blocked single guys because, like a lot of women and couples, she's getting 150 messages a day.....mainly dick pics and various one word rubbish.
A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him. Baring in mind that this chap has been on the site 12 hours, no photos, no bio, no photo verification etc I duly said "on your bike". Cue the verbal abuse...followed by a block.
Is it getting more and more where guys are wrongly using this as a guaranteed shag and therefore putting no effort into conversation.
Rant over.  |
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Men can act very entitled on here and assume that they will get sex and that women don't have preferences or choices.
Also that us ladies were born to do as they wish and don't have wants of our own. |
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I think that the short answer is that a high percentage of new or joining members don't appreciate what swinging actually is.
They view Fabswingers as being a sex site, not a swingers site and that every site member they approach does so also. Which to them means that they absolutely must want to have guaranteed sex with anyone who approaches them. |
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Oh there’s definitely a certain type of man who’s clearly been told this is some kind of bargain basement shortcut to sex or cheating, and they’ve fully bought into it. The entitlement is almost impressive...firing off low effort messages, blank profiles, and the occasional unsolicited dick pic, then acting shocked when women don’t respond like they’ve just received a prize.
The ‘meet now?’ or ‘send more pics’ crowd seem to think we’re all just sat here waiting to help fill their wank bank, which is… optimistic, to say the least.
Thankfully, most women on here have excellent filters and an even better radar for spotting men who behave like absolute muppets. Which makes it all the more entertaining when the same guys pop up in the forum crying that no one replies or they can’t get meets… as if it’s some great mystery |
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Edited for typos
There's a level of high expectation and minimum effort from many on fab not just single men. It's just that there are loads more men so it appears more prevalent.
It's rare to see a guy's profile say things like 'make your first message interesting' or 'one liners will be deleted' |
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By *4bimMan 7 hours ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
All the op is trying to do is get all the man haters on side by starting this thread.
And guess what...the same old crowd jump straight on it. Just can't help themselves.
Yet if this was a woman or couple all the white knights would be out in force defending her/their honour. It's like only men behave badly. Pathetic |
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Sadly in recent years a lot of guys joining really think it is a free sex site & have actually messaged say I want to fuck your brain out! And when we have responded say the message was no acceptable they have said get over yourself this is a sex site and block us!
Many guys on here don't read profile & actually feel offended if they get no replies.
Thing have definitely changed & gone down lots in recent times. |
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"All the op is trying to do is get all the man haters on side by starting this thread.
And guess what...the same old crowd jump straight on it. Just can't help themselves.
Yet if this was a woman or couple all the white knights would be out in force defending her/their honour. It's like only men behave badly. Pathetic "
I agree with all of this wholeheartedly. Both the man haters and the white knights/pick me’s are the two biggest groups on this site I detest the most. |
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"So a woman on here who I've met and am in contact with both here and away from here has blocked single guys because, like a lot of women and couples, she's getting 150 messages a day.....mainly dick pics and various one word rubbish.
A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him. Baring in mind that this chap has been on the site 12 hours, no photos, no bio, no photo verification etc I duly said "on your bike". Cue the verbal abuse...followed by a block.
Is it getting more and more where guys are wrongly using this as a guaranteed shag and therefore putting no effort into conversation.
Rant over. "
Personally I wouldn't even have replied. I'd have just deleted and blocked.
And if more women and couples used message filters better the odds are that they'd get less crap messages.
You'll never stop a crass message all the time. But it takes seconds to deal with and prevent the sender from doing it again. 🤷♂️
It's never worth worrying about the behaviour of anyone but yourself.
Obi |
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"A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him..."
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I would have strung him along for the sake of perversity and inane entertainment, and then dismissed him when I got bored. 😉 |
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There is another thread running at this time about ‘popularity ‘ .
Plus looking at forums for a long time. Profile yes mainly females, couples say about amount of messages they get . Yet I have looked sometimes at those profiles. Then think why do they not alter a some filters . Inbox mail would be reduced substantially . Is it due wanting to be ‘ popular’ ? |
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By *essTTWoman 5 hours ago
Birmingham |
"So a woman on here who I've met and am in contact with both here and away from here has blocked single guys because, like a lot of women and couples, she's getting 150 messages a day.....mainly dick pics and various one word rubbish.
A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him. Baring in mind that this chap has been on the site 12 hours, no photos, no bio, no photo verification etc I duly said "on your bike". Cue the verbal abuse...followed by a block.
Is it getting more and more where guys are wrongly using this as a guaranteed shag and therefore putting no effort into conversation.
Rant over. "
I don't understand why people do this is so weird and the main reason I'm wary about showing verifications |
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There are some oddballs on here.
I’ve had bi/gay guys message me saying they’ll verify my profile if I send them a wank video.
The video bit doesn’t bother me, what concerns me more is the clear intention to circumvent the verification process in place on FAB to protect other users just so they’ve got someone to pull their pud to.
Reported them each time for it but still very concerning. |
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"Yes it's fairly common, but I would be interested to see how much effort women and couples put into messaging, as it does seem like all the guys take the flack.
"
Valid point, I (f) don’t put a lot of effort in a first message but I feel a quick hello & 1 line is enough for them to take a look at our profile. Then if they like us we can chat more and write messages with more substance.
I guess guys don’t get away with that because there’s so many of them, so need to write something to stick out. Unfair but such is life 🤷🏼♀️
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By *vaRoseWoman 5 hours ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"If they put no effort in, they won't meet. Whether or not there are third parties witnessing it.
And yes, throwing their toys out of their prams is very normal."
This
Often newbies join assuming fab is insta shag and the key to the valley of unlimited pussy. When they find out it’s not, they either step up or they sulk, strop, rant and leave. |
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By *sm265Woman 4 hours ago
Perthshire |
"Yes it's fairly common, but I would be interested to see how much effort women and couples put into messaging, as it does seem like all the guys take the flack.
"
On the rare occasion someone captures my interest I will send a message introducing myself and highlighting what it was about their profile that inspired me to message. The vast majority of my meets from this site have resulted from me messaging first.
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"Yes it's fairly common, but I would be interested to see how much effort women and couples put into messaging, as it does seem like all the guys take the flack. "
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Relatively speaking...very little. They expect the man to carry the weight, effort and momentum of some conversations. The irony isn't lost when their profiles mention "...looking to chat extensively with articulate conversation before meeting". |
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"Yes it's fairly common, but I would be interested to see how much effort women and couples put into messaging, as it does seem like all the guys take the flack.
"
From my experience, it’s very minimal to none at all. I’ll find myself always steering the conversation asking open ended questions to which I simply just get a “response” with nothing asked to, or about me in return.
Appreciate it’s most likely either message fatigue from the sheer volume they’re receiving or their juggling multiple conversations at the same time. |
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"Yes it's fairly common, but I would be interested to see how much effort women and couples put into messaging, as it does seem like all the guys take the flack.
"
The one thing I’ve come to appreciate and respect since joining is the amount of messages couples and especially single women receive alone in a single day. So I can somewhat understand that the effort they have to give back is lower than what a single guy has to show but in the end both parties have to put effort in to get somewhere and yes I’ve had conversations which the opposite end have mostly been single women who haven’t put even some effort into messaging.
Just my forte, don’t rinse me cause I’m a single guy saying it 😅 |
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The reality is if you use maximum message filters then you can drastically reduce the number of low effort messages you have to sift through.
I only allow messages from single men, who are the age I am looking for, verified, not newbies, have public photos on their profile and also site supporters.
So I've had 5 today .... 1 from someone too far away, 1 whose message was fine but profile did not appeal. 1 v low effort and 1 that sent 🍆🍆 pics.
I also had 1, nice short message and nice profile. I replied, short chat, not compatible for a number of reasons but nice enough person, wished them luck finding what they are looking for.
I don't hate men. I do dislike low effort entitled people. |
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By *essTTWoman 3 hours ago
Birmingham |
"The reality is if you use maximum message filters then you can drastically reduce the number of low effort messages you have to sift through.
I only allow messages from single men, who are the age I am looking for, verified, not newbies, have public photos on their profile and also site supporters.
So I've had 5 today .... 1 from someone too far away, 1 whose message was fine but profile did not appeal. 1 v low effort and 1 that sent 🍆🍆 pics.
I also had 1, nice short message and nice profile. I replied, short chat, not compatible for a number of reasons but nice enough person, wished them luck finding what they are looking for.
I don't hate men. I do dislike low effort entitled people. "
Yes this is the way to do it.
I have my filters all the way up so at least then I know anyone who messages me could be a potentional |
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"I think that the short answer is that a high percentage of new or joining members don't appreciate what swinging actually is.
They view Fabswingers as being a sex site, not a swingers site and that every site member they approach does so also. Which to them means that they absolutely must want to have guaranteed sex with anyone who approaches them. "
This
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By *wcoMan 60 minutes ago
West Midlands |
"So a woman on here who I've met and am in contact with both here and away from here has blocked single guys because, like a lot of women and couples, she's getting 150 messages a day.....mainly dick pics and various one word rubbish.
A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him. Baring in mind that this chap has been on the site 12 hours, no photos, no bio, no photo verification etc I duly said "on your bike". Cue the verbal abuse...followed by a block.
Is it getting more and more where guys are wrongly using this as a guaranteed shag and therefore putting no effort into conversation.
Rant over. "
Why did he come to you, how did he know that you knew her? |
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By *essTTWoman 55 minutes ago
Birmingham |
"So a woman on here who I've met and am in contact with both here and away from here has blocked single guys because, like a lot of women and couples, she's getting 150 messages a day.....mainly dick pics and various one word rubbish.
A guy has then taken it upon himself to try and use me as a conduit to get said female to message him. Baring in mind that this chap has been on the site 12 hours, no photos, no bio, no photo verification etc I duly said "on your bike". Cue the verbal abuse...followed by a block.
Is it getting more and more where guys are wrongly using this as a guaranteed shag and therefore putting no effort into conversation.
Rant over.
Why did he come to you, how did he know that you knew her? "
Verifications probably |
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