"Her front door fell off
His back door is jammed 
I have actually had that and hd to stay at home!
He pulled a muscle in his back posing in the bath for a fab forum photo 👀😅
E"
It was bloody awkward to take! |
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"Her front door fell off
His back door is jammed
I have actually had that and hd to stay at home!
He pulled a muscle in his back posing in the bath for a fab forum photo 👀😅
E"
Sorry boss, I cant come to work today, you wont believe it, I've got something stuck in the back of my throat |
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"Her front door fell off
His back door is jammed
I have actually had that and hd to stay at home!
He pulled a muscle in his back posing in the bath for a fab forum photo 👀😅
E
It was bloody awkward to take!"
I can imagine 😂😂😂 fair play to you, though - I could not be arsed!!
E |
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"Her front door fell off
His back door is jammed
I have actually had that and hd to stay at home!
He pulled a muscle in his back posing in the bath for a fab forum photo 👀😅
E
Sorry boss, I cant come to work today, you wont believe it, I've got something stuck in the back of my throat"
Accurate 😅😅
Sorry boss, I’m not going to make it in - I’ve lost the button off my jeans and they keep on slipping down 😬
E |
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By *athomMan 3 hours ago
South Coast |
"I'm loving these 🤣🤣
It’s a full moon and she was out all night ravishing, and has no idea where she left her clothes "
Is in A&E , turns out Dyson ball cleaner is not all it’s cracked up to be 😩 |
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Dear Manager,
Fathom regretfully is unable to attend work today as he has been called back into service by MI6 on a matter of top secret, international security.
You are now bound by the official secrets act to not share this information with anyone…
|
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"I'm loving these 🤣🤣
It’s a full moon and she was out all night ravishing, and has no idea where she left her clothes
Is in A&E , turns out Dyson ball cleaner is not all it’s cracked up to be 😩"
Can't go in today, turns out you can have too much fun, legs don't work!! |
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By *oldmilkMan 2 hours ago
Trouble, apparently… |
"Juicy bookies is unavailable for work as she has been caught in a blender and now only the pith remains."
Mr phooey has semen on his keyboard from a particularly over eager tributing session. |
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"He's tied to a lamppost naked with a stuffed sheep by his side
My fishnets have holes in them, got to sew them all up"
I went to a teddy bear convention and took my favourites from when I was a kid. Unfortunately I was mistaken and shits still dripping down my leg. |
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Can’t come in, you the know, the usual…
An alien ship descended on my house last night, as I leaned out the window to look, their tractor beam sucked me in to their ship. They took me to their home planet uroral where in order to survive they must perform oral on each other hourly. They had different genitalia to me but we made it work, so while I fingered several holes on their backs and a tentacle like ligament sucked me off I coukd see they needed me for survival.
It’s a been a long 12 hours and I reckon I can only do another 12 before my arms falls off and I die from lack of fluids. I’m pretty sure I just ejaculated a puff of dust.
They will bring me home tonight after the grand oralceremony and ahould be fresh to come back tomorrow… yes I know this happened last month too. No I don’t know if this will happen again or not |
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"He's tied to a lamppost naked with a stuffed sheep by his side
My fishnets have holes in them, got to sew them all up
I went to a teddy bear convention and took my favourites from when I was a kid. Unfortunately I was mistaken and shits still dripping down my leg."
Im using this one 🤣 |
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