I was wondering, if there are many doms out there who live the whole thing.. ie not just pleasure doms in the bedroom or alpha males, or guys who just like rough sex and call it domming.. i mean the ones who on a day to day basis with their relationships. Not just revolving around sex.
Like the guys who notice their partner/sub hasnt eaten for a while and instead of asking them are you hungry, what do you want to eat.. just fixes them something without asking but just knowing they need something.?
A guy who notices things and solves the problem without a song and dance, or argument. Do these doms exist? Where are you?
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Thats more of a kind thoughtful person.
Doms tend to be driven by there own desires more than that of the other person, therefore tend to be a little to selfish to do what you suggest they could do. |
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"Thats more of a kind thoughtful person.
Doms tend to be driven by there own desires more than that of the other person, therefore tend to be a little to selfish to do what you suggest they could do."
It needs to be a bit of both i think! I knew a dom near ellesmere port many moons ago. He managed to be both, a wonderful man but was snapped up by a beautiful lady already. |
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"I’m sure they do exist, being a Dom really is misunderstood! …there’s a guy I follow on Facebook who has some real good writing around this area- Kane cross.  "
I follow kane, thats what made mepost this and wish there were guys in uk like him. Such an insightful guy! |
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By *rs.MinxWoman 5 days ago
somewhere nearby |
"I’m sure they do exist, being a Dom really is misunderstood! …there’s a guy I follow on Facebook who has some real good writing around this area- Kane cross.
I follow kane, thats what made mepost this and wish there were guys in uk like him. Such an insightful guy!"
This was what I had alwaasy believed Dominant to be, not simply the guy who like to be in charege and control, but someoen who creates the space and desire to be led. I am sure they are like gold dust! |
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"I’m sure they do exist, being a Dom really is misunderstood! …there’s a guy I follow on Facebook who has some real good writing around this area- Kane cross.
I follow kane, thats what made mepost this and wish there were guys in uk like him. Such an insightful guy!
This was what I had alwaasy believed Dominant to be, not simply the guy who like to be in charege and control, but someoen who creates the space and desire to be led. I am sure they are like gold dust! "
It sure feels like it. 99 percent of doms i have spoken to its purely about controlling ad sometimes violent sex... not really whati had in mind! |
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"I’m sure they do exist, being a Dom really is misunderstood! …there’s a guy I follow on Facebook who has some real good writing around this area- Kane cross.
I follow kane, thats what made mepost this and wish there were guys in uk like him. Such an insightful guy!"
Will take a look.
A dominant person is also always very aware of their sub’s welfare, totally agree with that. |
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I think the characteristics of a Dom is whatever the sub requires to submit. I take the view that the phrase "D/s relationship" has 2 parts. It has the "D/s" part, in whatever form works for both parties. It also has the "relationship" bit follows whatever the parties want in terms of a relationship.
Therefore each D/s relationship is individual, and is not cookie cutter.
I find that when people talk about what lifestyle dominance should be they either try to impose romantic ideas about Dom/mes or try to impose strict irrelevant ethical rules on them.
I think each party (D/s) should do the hard work to work out what they are looking for in terms of a relationship and in terms of D/s and see if they match. There was a great article on the other site with the title "Not Every ‘Good’ Dominant is the ‘Right’ Dominant".
This is because Dominants have different styles and it is a question of what fits the particular sub.
Apart from a style of dominance that matches the submission, the key things about Dominant is that they should be ethical, genuinely knowledgeable in the areas they hold themselves out to be knowledgeable. The rest is personal preference.
The best book on Dominance that I have read is "The Heart of Dominance" by Anton Fulman.
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