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I only wanted to floss my teeth
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While looking for the floss I accidentally cleaned out the ottoman I keep it in, as it was hiding at the bottom.
That led to me cleaning out a little storage basket I keep reading glasses, perfume and other odds and sods in, as I put some stuff from the ottoman in it.
Which led me to the kitchen to get a cloth and cleaning spray to clean the bottom of the ottoman.
While I had the spray in my hand I thought I'd give the cooker a quick spray. Then picked up the bleach to take to the bathroom. Where I gave the toilet a quick clean.
Then I remembered the teeth needed flossing so went back to the living room to find the floss.
Which I'd put down amongst the hair stuff, medications, dog claw clippers, beauty products and rubbish I was throwing away, and couldn't find it.
By the time I'd found it the piece of food that was stuck in my teeth had gone.
But, my ottoman was clean and tidy.
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"The takeaway from this is that Bad Nana uses beauty products, I never thought she would need them. "
I exaggerated a bit. I meant a battery-powered sander for my feet, a lady shaver thing,a heat protection spray for my hair and a tube of Nivea cream. |
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"While looking for the floss I accidentally cleaned out the ottoman I keep it in, as it was hiding at the bottom.
That led to me cleaning out a little storage basket I keep reading glasses, perfume and other odds and sods in, as I put some stuff from the ottoman in it.
Which led me to the kitchen to get a cloth and cleaning spray to clean the bottom of the ottoman.
While I had the spray in my hand I thought I'd give the cooker a quick spray. Then picked up the bleach to take to the bathroom. Where I gave the toilet a quick clean.
Then I remembered the teeth needed flossing so went back to the living room to find the floss.
Which I'd put down amongst the hair stuff, medications, dog claw clippers, beauty products and rubbish I was throwing away, and couldn't find it.
By the time I'd found it the piece of food that was stuck in my teeth had gone.
...So 👓..'It was hiding in the bottom of the ottoman...? (Insp Clouseu )
But, my ottoman was clean and tidy.
"
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"The takeaway from this is that Bad Nana uses beauty products, I never thought she would need them. "
The other takeaway is that BN has an Ottoman in their bathroom. That is sublimely chic and decadent ! I love it  |
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"I do the same except start everyday and then just move on to the next thing.
Are you for hire?
I can offer snacks and shit jokes.
How shit?
You know me - absolutely fucking awful."
Am I allowed naps? |
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"The takeaway from this is that Bad Nana uses beauty products, I never thought she would need them.
The other takeaway is that BN has an Ottoman in their bathroom. That is sublimely chic and decadent ! I love it "
It's in my living room |
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"While looking for the floss I accidentally cleaned out the ottoman I keep it in, as it was hiding at the bottom.
That led to me cleaning out a little storage basket I keep reading glasses, perfume and other odds and sods in, as I put some stuff from the ottoman in it.
Which led me to the kitchen to get a cloth and cleaning spray to clean the bottom of the ottoman.
While I had the spray in my hand I thought I'd give the cooker a quick spray. Then picked up the bleach to take to the bathroom. Where I gave the toilet a quick clean.
Then I remembered the teeth needed flossing so went back to the living room to find the floss.
Which I'd put down amongst the hair stuff, medications, dog claw clippers, beauty products and rubbish I was throwing away, and couldn't find it.
By the time I'd found it the piece of food that was stuck in my teeth had gone.
...So 👓..'It was hiding in the bottom of the ottoman...? (Insp Clouseu )
But, my ottoman was clean and tidy.
"
I cleaned it while I was looking for the floss...Sherlock 🤣 |
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"
The other takeaway is that BN has an Ottoman in their bathroom. That is sublimely chic and decadent ! I love it
It's in my living room "
That's even more decadent ! I have a mental image of an Art Deco-inspired chaise lounge alongside it now ! |
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"
The other takeaway is that BN has an Ottoman in their bathroom. That is sublimely chic and decadent ! I love it
It's in my living room
That's even more decadent ! I have a mental image of an Art Deco-inspired chaise lounge alongside it now !"
Just a corduroy corner suite |
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I've had to Google an ottoman as I thought it was a lift up bed... I couldn't understand why you'd keep dental floss under your mattress, now I'm questioning if it should be in the living room... I suppose I should be in the kitchen! |
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"I've had to Google an ottoman as I thought it was a lift up bed... I couldn't understand why you'd keep dental floss under your mattress, now I'm questioning if it should be in the living room... I suppose I should be in the kitchen! "
Let's call it a large storage footstool. I have a storage ottoman in my bedroom that is big enough for a small man to sleep in. |
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"I've had to Google an ottoman as I thought it was a lift up bed... I couldn't understand why you'd keep dental floss under your mattress, now I'm questioning if it should be in the living room... I suppose I should be in the kitchen!
Let's call it a large storage footstool. I have a storage ottoman in my bedroom that is big enough for a small man to sleep in."
So long as the floss is kept to the lounge 😅 |
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"I've had to Google an ottoman as I thought it was a lift up bed... I couldn't understand why you'd keep dental floss under your mattress, now I'm questioning if it should be in the living room... I suppose I should be in the kitchen!
Let's call it a large storage footstool. I have a storage ottoman in my bedroom that is big enough for a small man to sleep in.
So long as the floss is kept to the lounge 😅 "
I don't have bathroom storage 😢 |
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"They should make this a movie x"
It's definitely heading that way, isn't it ?
.
Emma Stone plays "Bad Nanna". She is a fabulously elegant socialite. Her home is fully decorated in Art Deco art and furnishings.
.
Bad Nanna recently ordered an exclusive Art Deco Chaise Lounge.
.
Danny Devito plays "Eric". Eric is a mature delivery driver for an upmarket antiques dealer. Eric and his younger accomplice "Luke" arrive to deliver the expected Art Deco Chaise Lounge.
.
The two deliverymen carry the heavily wrapped and obscured chaise lounge in to the living room. Eric tells Luke to go and wait in the van whilst he sorts out the paperwork with Bad Nanna.
.
Eric removes the packing material and a corduroy corner suite is revealed. Bad Nanna explains that the order is clearly wrong and it has to go back. Eric refuses. Bad Nanna says, "Well, if it cannot go back, then neither can you" and she pushes him backwards in to an open Ottoman (that she had been searching earlier for some flossers). Eric falls backwards and Bad Nanna slams down the lid and sits on it.
.
tap...tap..tap from the Ottoman.
(muffled voice)
Eric : "Madam?"
Bad Nanna : "Yes ?"
Eric : "Would you mind opening this?"
Bad Nanna : "Would you mind taking the sofa back?"
Pause
Eric : "It's a corner suite".
.
I think from here, it's going to turn in to a black comedy/farce.
.
Danny DeVito is going to spent most of the movie in the Ottoman. Luke is going to return looking for him, until Bad Nanna comes clean that Eric is in the Ottoman. Luke comes clean that the antique dealer is running a scam. Clients pay for genuine antiques but get delivered something else. However the antique dealer forges the client's signature on a fresh delivery note and the client is stuck with whatever the dealer sends them. Luke admits it's terrible and he wants to help Bad Nanna.
.
So they hatch a plan to do a night-time furniture heist in the antique warehouse.
.
Emma Stone in immaculate evening wear sitting in the passenger seat of a battered delivery van, Luke driving, the corduroy corner suite wedged in the back and an Art Deco ottoman containing an increasingly irate Danny DeVito, on their way to do a midnight caper.
.
With 1920's swing time music thrown in for good measure. (Or for a contemporary take, Electro Swing would work well. A track by Alice Francis - Shoot Him down!. It describes what Bad Nanna will do when she catches up with the big bad boss of the antique store. |
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