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Demi/Sapiosexual/connection led meets
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Good evening. I answered someones thread tonight and after i hit enter ive mulled over my answer verses others. Really need others ideas, i want to hear how you approach this space
This is regarding face pics, calls, socials when your demi/sapio/connection led.
I responded that i dont need to reject if a facepic is sent, having usually filtered through convos which are more aesthetic focused, meet now, ons or 'not bothered'.
A facepic swap is putting a name/convo to a face but I genuinely havent often made my mind up about a connection with someone at that point.. Im still diserning if we want similar amounts of time/connection, socials, meet types and styles, similar sexual explorations. Weather our nervious systems will tollerate one another. Convos start off platonic, swap pics after a week or when we are thinking about a call or a social.
Am i dithering? Overcomplicating? Wasting time? By following the approach of chat, facepic, call, social, meet.
Im trying to be safe. I dont want to overshare my facepic with people led by other meet styles. I want to be able to chill with someone before play, so i know after play we can chill.
How do others approach fab when your attraction style isnt determined by someone's aesthetic? When your still considering chemistry or connection?
Im now considering how many folks have felt rejected or convos have leveled out to nothing because ive made little to no fuss or been overly complimentary about facepics.. I hate my own i dont beleive the replies sent about them.
Take ten pics from different angles under different lighting and people look 10 different ways
How i feel while we are talking and when we meet in person matters more to me
When do you send your facepic and ask for one returned?
When do you call or arrange a social?
When do other people 'know' they want to be intimate with someone in particular? |
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By *avidNPMan 23 hours ago
manchester |
Interesting thread. I think it’s very important to have more than just a physical attraction to someone. I know lots just go for that but for me I need connections. I need to feel I can enjoy the other person when we are not playing.
Everyone is different and you’re allowed to be whoever you want in here, that’s the beauty of this place. You do need a thick skin as it’s not always easy on here. But by and large it’s a place I like and the people are mostly really friendly.
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Some people are not photogenic and look much better in real life. Some look better in photos than they do in real life. I don't have the answers. Just try to be open minded and see where it leads.
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Totally agree, as a community on here or in clubs, at events ect largely made up of good people with varying degrees of sexual liberation and expression
I think the other thread just really made me realise how facepic focused this can be. Like make or break
When im focusing on loads of stuff i rarely actually get to discuss in convos anyway.
I need intent beyond 'go with the flow' |
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"Some people are not photogenic and look much better in real life. Some look better in photos than they do in real life. I don't have the answers. Just try to be open minded and see where it leads.
"
This is what i meant with 10 different photos looking different a picture is a freeze frame |
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"I think take a day or two off down the seaside n have an ice cream first x
Fabulous social idea
Do you skip a call then? "
I never skip a call. I'm totally no pics. First move is a DM - then a call - then a video chat - then a decision. Quick n clean ....... then an ice cream. My pic has never left this machine. |
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"I think take a day or two off down the seaside n have an ice cream first x
Fabulous social idea
Do you skip a call then?
I never skip a call. I'm totally no pics. First move is a DM - then a call - then a video chat - then a decision. Quick n clean ....... then an ice cream. My pic has never left this machine."
So how sure are you of your decision when you leave to meet them for an icecream, have you already decided? Locked in, sure.. |
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"I think take a day or two off down the seaside n have an ice cream first x
Fabulous social idea
Do you skip a call then?
I never skip a call. I'm totally no pics. First move is a DM - then a call - then a video chat - then a decision. Quick n clean ....... then an ice cream. My pic has never left this machine.
So how sure are you of your decision when you leave to meet them for an icecream, have you already decided? Locked in, sure.. "
They are a heavy possibility on video and I make my decision on the first meet. Could be sans ice cream could just be coffe. Nothing is ever promised beforehand |
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I always go with the full intention of but F2F can swiftly alter the mind and affect the decision.
It's an acceptance that coffee and company are good enough to leave the house for and sex and human company is even better but requires a greater committment. |
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I usually send my face pictures in the first message. And that’s just to get the initial attraction out of the way. Although for me, a face pic is not really a big deal. I like to get to know someone and build some chemistry before deciding to meet up for a social or get straight to it. It all depends who you’re speaking to I suppose.
Previously I used to be in the chat rooms a lot and will speak to a lot of people on cam. And a lot of my meets and friendships built from there. This time around, I’m not really on the chat rooms match. And that’s only because I’ve got this new MacBook and I don’t know how to use it.
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"I always go with the full intention of but F2F can swiftly alter the mind and affect the decision.
It's an acceptance that coffee and company are good enough to leave the house for and sex and human company is even better but requires a greater committment."
'Nothing is promised ahead of time' i am on board with.
And honestly i do also agree good company and coffee are worth leaving the house for.. Thankyou for sharing you do have calls first before meeting a human for company and acknowledging sex is abit of a committment (even casually) and that desisions can alter on a social
I was feeling alien 😂 |
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"Some people are not photogenic and look much better in real life. Some look better in photos than they do in real life. I don't have the answers. Just try to be open minded and see where it leads.
This is what i meant with 10 different photos looking different a picture is a freeze frame"
Yes, photos may give you a fair idea on attraction, but you could feel different face to face. Also, the chemistry is not always as evident through pictures and messages. It's a fine balancing act. I've got wrong in the past in terms of first impressions, so more focussed on personality than looks to begin with. |
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Yes, photos may give you a fair idea on attraction, but you could feel different face to face. Also, the chemistry is not always as evident through pictures and messages. It's a fine balancing act. I've got wrong in the past in terms of first impressions, so more focussed on personality than looks to begin with. "
I think photos only really show if someone is objectively attractive, media portrayal attractive.
I dont think i have ever looked at a facepic and without knowing them or a conversation thought anything sexual about them.
Its that saying 'dont judge a book by the cover' |
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"I usually send my face pictures in the first message. And that’s just to get the initial attraction out of the way. Although for me, a face pic is not really a big deal. I like to get to know someone and build some chemistry before deciding to meet up for a social or get straight to it. It all depends who you’re speaking to I suppose.
Previously I used to be in the chat rooms a lot and will speak to a lot of people on cam. And a lot of my meets and friendships built from there. This time around, I’m not really on the chat rooms match. And that’s only because I’ve got this new MacBook and I don’t know how to use it.
"
I hope you get to grips with the Macbook soon but find the forums engaging in the meantime 😊 it must be wildly different
There are definitely multiple communities and really a mind boggling amount of preferances, people and lifestyles on this site.
I never feel comfortable sending a face pic immediately. I just think wheres the discretion in that.
When i chat, I have normal platonic conversations mostly
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