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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just do a chart and everyday hes good at school put a star up. everyday he plays up take a star off. then at the end of the week/month what ever you can manage as a reward. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just do a chart and everyday hes good at school put a star up. everyday he plays up take a star off. then at the end of the week/month what ever you can manage as a reward."
15....pass on that thought then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please..."
Without being rude, how old is your son?
If he is of the younger age you can get reward charts, that way he can't moan you don't reward him fairly in his eyes, they also work for when they are naughty too.
But for rewards, what are his interested? If its football perhaps take him to a game if the team he supports is local, clothes? Video games? Movies? Taking to do things he enjoys or eat where he likes?
Some of the ways I was rewarded when I was young - Wait for the joke of he's only 19 does he still get rewards. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please...
Without being rude, how old is your son?
If he is of the younger age you can get reward charts, that way he can't moan you don't reward him fairly in his eyes, they also work for when they are naughty too.
But for rewards, what are his interested? If its football perhaps take him to a game if the team he supports is local, clothes? Video games? Movies? Taking to do things he enjoys or eat where he likes?
Some of the ways I was rewarded when I was young - Wait for the joke of he's only 19 does he still get rewards."
he maybe 15 but, I am aware I am quick enough to nag when he is not doing so well as I know he can. So would like to reward him more in different ways than well done.
When he is not doing so well I am aware I give punishments and that is his argument. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please...
Without being rude, how old is your son?
If he is of the younger age you can get reward charts, that way he can't moan you don't reward him fairly in his eyes, they also work for when they are naughty too.
But for rewards, what are his interested? If its football perhaps take him to a game if the team he supports is local, clothes? Video games? Movies? Taking to do things he enjoys or eat where he likes?
Some of the ways I was rewarded when I was young - Wait for the joke of he's only 19 does he still get rewards. he maybe 15 but, I am aware I am quick enough to nag when he is not doing so well as I know he can. So would like to reward him more in different ways than well done.
When he is not doing so well I am aware I give punishments and that is his argument."
Seems fair enough ...rewarding good behaviour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was always brought up and told you don't get rewarded for good behaviour it's what you should do anyway.
rewards I think now and then can be motivating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please...
Without being rude, how old is your son?
If he is of the younger age you can get reward charts, that way he can't moan you don't reward him fairly in his eyes, they also work for when they are naughty too.
But for rewards, what are his interested? If its football perhaps take him to a game if the team he supports is local, clothes? Video games? Movies? Taking to do things he enjoys or eat where he likes?
Some of the ways I was rewarded when I was young - Wait for the joke of he's only 19 does he still get rewards. he maybe 15 but, I am aware I am quick enough to nag when he is not doing so well as I know he can. So would like to reward him more in different ways than well done.
When he is not doing so well I am aware I give punishments and that is his argument.
Seems fair enough ...rewarding good behaviour "
I can only suggest that you talk to him and discuss this with him.
What kind of rewards does he want, if he is aware then he must have thoughts on the matter.
Would he like one special thing a month, not necessarily monetary.
Teach him the power of negotiation and bargaining.
And utilise his contact book to balance how many good to bad reports as a starting point.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please...
Without being rude, how old is your son?
If he is of the younger age you can get reward charts, that way he can't moan you don't reward him fairly in his eyes, they also work for when they are naughty too.
But for rewards, what are his interested? If its football perhaps take him to a game if the team he supports is local, clothes? Video games? Movies? Taking to do things he enjoys or eat where he likes?
Some of the ways I was rewarded when I was young - Wait for the joke of he's only 19 does he still get rewards. he maybe 15 but, I am aware I am quick enough to nag when he is not doing so well as I know he can. So would like to reward him more in different ways than well done.
When he is not doing so well I am aware I give punishments and that is his argument.
Seems fair enough ...rewarding good behaviour
I can only suggest that you talk to him and discuss this with him.
What kind of rewards does he want, if he is aware then he must have thoughts on the matter.
Would he like one special thing a month, not necessarily monetary.
Teach him the power of negotiation and bargaining.
And utilise his contact book to balance how many good to bad reports as a starting point.
Good luck"
Thankyou... We are close and talk a lot, every day I ask how school was. Sometimes he does not always tell me everything and find out via a letter or a phone call. A monthly reward such as a meal somewhere I think he would like  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Day out at a theme park. Something he'd enjoy but both of you together to spend some time. Might be easier to chat to him then too. "
This would be awesome but, unfortunately I can go on most of the rides with him...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trip to the cinema maybe. There are a few indoor climbing centres springing up if he's sporty, or outdoor adventure places when the weather improves. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's often said the best thing you can give your kids is your time "
I know.. He is 15 and all for hanging with mates. When he is home he is often in his bedroom on his phone. Wednesday evenings we make a point of eating together and talking. I work evenings so not possible every night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surprise him every now and then after a period of doing good stuff, it won't make him dependent on rewards to work hard but will make him see that you appreciate him and his efforts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about a ticket for either yourself and him, or himself and a mate, depending on what he's into, pictures, ice skating, bowling, a meal somewhere?? The skies the limit good luck I found the thing my lad found most valuable was time... From me ... Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surprise him every now and then after a period of doing good stuff, it won't make him dependent on rewards to work hard but will make him see that you appreciate him and his efforts. "
Excellent idea... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How about a ticket for either yourself and him, or himself and a mate, depending on what he's into, pictures, ice skating, bowling, a meal somewhere?? The skies the limit good luck I found the thing my lad found most valuable was time... From me ... Good luck "
good ideas again.. As I said above he likes to go out with mates and when we are home together he stays in his room watching tv and social networking on phone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about a ticket for either yourself and him, or himself and a mate, depending on what he's into, pictures, ice skating, bowling, a meal somewhere?? The skies the limit good luck I found the thing my lad found most valuable was time... From me ... Good luck good ideas again.. As I said above he likes to go out with mates and when we are home together he stays in his room watching tv and social networking on phone. "
He's getting to the stage when they turn nocturnal and studies have shown that it's a phase they go through so will grow out of but time together even if it's finding a recipe and cooking dinner together is great |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How about a ticket for either yourself and him, or himself and a mate, depending on what he's into, pictures, ice skating, bowling, a meal somewhere?? The skies the limit good luck I found the thing my lad found most valuable was time... From me ... Good luck good ideas again.. As I said above he likes to go out with mates and when we are home together he stays in his room watching tv and social networking on phone.
He's getting to the stage when they turn nocturnal and studies have shown that it's a phase they go through so will grow out of but time together even if it's finding a recipe and cooking dinner together is great "
I'm doing one of his friends (girl) nails next week so I have asked him to cook for us he can't wait! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Give him a night off from doing the washing up when he gets a good report. But give him more chores if he misbehaves.
My children reacted well from being given time off from housework, I found it motivated them to work harder at school. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Give him a night off from doing the washing up when he gets a good report. But give him more chores if he misbehaves.
My children reacted well from being given time off from housework, I found it motivated them to work harder at school. "
his only chores are... Tidy his bedroom, take the bin out and put away dishes sometimes. |
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please..."
If you are on a budget, why not try putting a pound in a money box every time he's good, take one out if he's not, at the end of the month let him choose his own reward out of the money in the box. If he wants an xbox/play station game he can carry it over to the next month. He can learn to budget his reward money, it won't cost you a fortune and he will have a say in what his reward is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My son often says I don't reward him enough for being good at school (I always say well done) but, quick enough to moan when he is not being good at school (nothing serious, his school is quite strict on behaviour)
So I would be grateful for ideas of realistic rewards on a budget please...
If you are on a budget, why not try putting a pound in a money box every time he's good, take one out if he's not, at the end of the month let him choose his own reward out of the money in the box. If he wants an xbox/play station game he can carry it over to the next month. He can learn to budget his reward money, it won't cost you a fortune and he will have a say in what his reward is. "
good idea! |
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