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Types of Dick
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"Love to read the Forums as some can be entertaining, some informative and the majority have started to become darn right annoying. The thread that's been beaten to death is anything to do with a Cock. However I came across this so thought why not, at least its adds a little humour to the subject. Number 10 is surprising, and definitely against the majority of replies we get to the numerous cock size threads. The 10 Different Types Of Dicks 1. The Bat This dick is so big, TOO big, even for people who love a nice big dick. A bat dick is fat and moderately to extremely long, and when faced with the reality of this dick you either feel joy or a sense of impending doom, like “Oh god what am I doing.” Your guy probably either feels really confident about his bat dick or he’s really self-conscious about it and public boners are a real source of anxiety/embarrassment for him. Most importantly, guys with bat dicks need to know what to do with them. 2. The Boomerang You’re making out with a hot new guy and everything’s going well and then you get down to his dick and…wait what? It curves to the side or has some other type of irregular positioning and you start to wonder whether sex is even feasible with this type of dick. But luckily your guy has lived with this dick all his life, and if he knows what he’s doing he can work with his angles and make it feel amazing. 3. The Late Bloomer A late bloomer is the kind of dick you pull out and it looks small, like really small, and you’re like thinking that this is going to be the worst sex ever. Then he gets harder. And it grows bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And then you have a full slab of meat in your hands or in your mouth or wherever you are putting it. 4. The Guy You Can’t Believe Is So Huge There are all sorts of ways people try to guess whether a guy is going to be hung or not: shoe size, hand size, height, the length of his fingers. But the reality is that you can never know how big a guy’s dick is until you see it for real. Photographic evidence can be doctored, so don’t trust it. It’s one of the surprises I love most when I’m about to sleep with someone new: reaching my hand down there to feel what he’s got to work with. 5. Eew Dick I think there’s a thing going around where some guys don’t wash their dicks, or they don’t wash them all the way, or I don’t even know. There is no excuse for a dick that makes you go Eew. NONE. 6. A Hooded Dick This guy has so much freaking foreskin that it’s all a lot to handle. The hardest thing about uncircumcised dicks is that most guys in America are cut, so the odds are that most of the dicks you’ll play with in your lifetime are going to be cut. Every guy likes something different done to his thing, but I always feel weird when faced with an uncircumcised dick, like I don’t really know what to do with it. Am I supposed to play with the skin? Do I pull it all the way back? 7. A REALLY Sensitive Dick Like I haven’t even taken my panties off yet and you already creamed your pants? 8. A Mood Stabilizing Dick You’re into some guy and he tells you that while he’s really into you he’s got some mood issues and because of the Zoloft, well, he might not have a sex drive for a while / his penis might actually just go limp at any moment during sexual congress. OH OKAY. 9. A Dick That Is Shorter And Fatter Than It Is Long What even is this? 10. A Small-To-Average Dick That Works You Like No One Else, Ever This is the best kind of dick actually, because it’s small and you think the sex isn’t going to be good BUT OH MY GOD he takes care of you like no other guy you’ve ever been with ever has. Just goes to show you it doesn’t matter how big or small you are. What matters is how you work what you’ve got and how you adjust for your shortcomings." Love this listing by the way  | |||
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"Smelly cock, smelly cock Why aren't they cleaning you. Smelly cock, smelly cock, It's not your fault! Sorry just had to put my brain fart out there "I liked it | |||
"Smelly cock, smelly cock Why aren't they cleaning you. Smelly cock, smelly cock, It's not your fault! Sorry just had to put my brain fart out there " | |||
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"Wonder where mine fits in "It looks curvy so a no 2 for me | |||
"I like. I'd like to add Moby to the list. That works in 2 ways, too. "That's the one you have a whale of a time with | |||
"Wonder where mine fits in
It looks curvy so a no 2 for me "Yes, there's a slight curve...i'll ake it | |||
"Love to read the Forums as some can be entertaining, some informative and the majority have started to become darn right annoying. The thread that's been beaten to death is anything to do with a Cock. However I came across this so thought why not, at least its adds a little humour to the subject. Number 10 is surprising, and definitely against the majority of replies we get to the numerous cock size threads. The 10 Different Types Of Dicks 1. The Bat This dick is so big, TOO big, even for people who love a nice big dick. A bat dick is fat and moderately to extremely long, and when faced with the reality of this dick you either feel joy or a sense of impending doom, like “Oh god what am I doing.” Your guy probably either feels really confident about his bat dick or he’s really self-conscious about it and public boners are a real source of anxiety/embarrassment for him. Most importantly, guys with bat dicks need to know what to do with them. 2. The Boomerang You’re making out with a hot new guy and everything’s going well and then you get down to his dick and…wait what? It curves to the side or has some other type of irregular positioning and you start to wonder whether sex is even feasible with this type of dick. But luckily your guy has lived with this dick all his life, and if he knows what he’s doing he can work with his angles and make it feel amazing. 3. The Late Bloomer A late bloomer is the kind of dick you pull out and it looks small, like really small, and you’re like thinking that this is going to be the worst sex ever. Then he gets harder. And it grows bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And then you have a full slab of meat in your hands or in your mouth or wherever you are putting it. 4. The Guy You Can’t Believe Is So Huge There are all sorts of ways people try to guess whether a guy is going to be hung or not: shoe size, hand size, height, the length of his fingers. But the reality is that you can never know how big a guy’s dick is until you see it for real. Photographic evidence can be doctored, so don’t trust it. It’s one of the surprises I love most when I’m about to sleep with someone new: reaching my hand down there to feel what he’s got to work with. 5. Eew Dick I think there’s a thing going around where some guys don’t wash their dicks, or they don’t wash them all the way, or I don’t even know. There is no excuse for a dick that makes you go Eew. NONE. 6. A Hooded Dick This guy has so much freaking foreskin that it’s all a lot to handle. The hardest thing about uncircumcised dicks is that most guys in America are cut, so the odds are that most of the dicks you’ll play with in your lifetime are going to be cut. Every guy likes something different done to his thing, but I always feel weird when faced with an uncircumcised dick, like I don’t really know what to do with it. Am I supposed to play with the skin? Do I pull it all the way back? 7. A REALLY Sensitive Dick Like I haven’t even taken my panties off yet and you already creamed your pants? 8. A Mood Stabilizing Dick You’re into some guy and he tells you that while he’s really into you he’s got some mood issues and because of the Zoloft, well, he might not have a sex drive for a while / his penis might actually just go limp at any moment during sexual congress. OH OKAY. 9. A Dick That Is Shorter And Fatter Than It Is Long What even is this? 10. A Small-To-Average Dick That Works You Like No One Else, Ever This is the best kind of dick actually, because it’s small and you think the sex isn’t going to be good BUT OH MY GOD he takes care of you like no other guy you’ve ever been with ever has. Just goes to show you it doesn’t matter how big or small you are. What matters is how you work what you’ve got and how you adjust for your shortcomings." I reckon I've had all of the above, just not on the same day!   | |||
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"Wonder where mine fits in
It looks curvy so a no 2 for me
Yes, there's a slight curve...i'll ake it "I would if you were nearer | |||
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"Wonder where mine fits in
It looks curvy so a no 2 for me
Yes, there's a slight curve...i'll ake it
I would if you were nearer " damn the irish sea | |||
"Hilarious! I've always wanted to try a bat dick.. I've yet to find one though "I've just seen one on here! (as well as about 200 various sites all over the net - most of which were gay/twink porn sites!) Gotta love google reverse! 
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