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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know this is not an advice site but I also know a lot of you have children and probably encountered what we are going through right now. I wonder if you could help me out and share any advice to the following issue we are experiences. We have 3 children. Two of them, a son of 13 and daughter of nearly 19 are fighting constantly about anything and everything. Even the most insignificant thing. The stress that is caused by this is, is astronomical and they don't seem to care at all who they hurt in the process! I know we are not alone with this problem but can't seem to see a solution to improve the situation. Any idea's to make them see the damage that is being done to the whole family with their constant battles would be welcome please. Husband at work a lot so doesn't see first hand the chaos but to be honest I am getting to the end of my rope now. Thanks for reading and to any advice you can suggest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi, although i do not have a teenage son/daughter, i was one myself haha. Basically my brother and i were always at each others throats claiming we hated each other etc. My mother was always stressed and upset. The only real solution is keep them some what apart. Do they share a room? A girl of 19 and of 13 both feel they need their private space so if one is always with the other it will have an adverse effect. I know easier said than done but no matter how many 'bonding' sessions you will have it wont really help as they are sisters and they do love eachother they are just at precious times in their loves at the moment. If that makes sense? :S sorry i tend to ramble lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry to hear your situation, but your daughter should know better at 19yrs old. Take her out for a one to one. go shopping or have a girly chat. Young lads can be a right pain, but he's still a kid really. Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i know from experience that with all hormones flying round it takes time lol
you could take your eldest to one side and explain that at 19 they are more than an adult and they should perhaps start acting like it , i know my brother and i who are 8 years apart fought like cat and dog and often had my mum in tears and dad in his beer but we are the best of friends now and even go out on a weekend together lol
at 13 its a hormone thing especailly with boys xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The shotgun sounds good but better not eh!! Brought a smile to my face tho so thanks for that. They have their own rooms so that's a help. Our son is going through that Neanderthal period in his life at the moment and grunts a lot!!!LOL That doesn't help either. The daughter should know better I agree but when our son get's right in her face he can be quite intimidating so she just reacts cause he invades her personal space. Daughter has always been a bit of a drama queen so can put it on quite a bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally sypathise with you,ive got a daughter of 18 and a son of 13 and they are the same..
I think its a hormone thing with the 13 yr old and he never speaks just grunts lol and the 18 yr old is a drama queen too,ive learnt not to take sides and to leave the room or even go for a wolk when they start as i found that i was getting that wound up i was making things worse!
Hopefully it wont last for much longer x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for listening guys. Been a help to just type it and get some feedback. Think it's just a case of being a mediator and just wait it out till they all leave home!!LOL I know I will miss them to bits tho when they do fly the nest so when it gets bad I shall try to count my blessings and look forward to when they have their kids!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there is the same age difference with my two and when they were at that age they were just the same the will grow out of it you just have to grin and bear it that's what I did don't get yourself uptight about it. (but do you notice if they are not in the house they will stick up for each other against their friends?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi both.. if its any consolation, when they reach mid twenties they realize and admit they were real little shits!!! lol ...well our 3 did anyway.
And their age range was 2 years between each!! They`re very close now tho, all growed up and responsible pmsl
We do sympathise tho, so hang in there xx  |
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You have both my sympathy and empathy !! I work with teens at the mo too and many of the parents say the same as you .. It helps to share and not feel alone as much as anything else.
A highly recommended website is gotateenager.org.uk which is part of the parentline plus scheme. It has a social networking section and a phone line manned by other parents . No expert telling you what you should be doing but people who've been where you are and can pool experiences to support each other. Might be worth a try ? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just married my daughter off......so maybe that is the answer??
seriously though....it doesn't sound like much fun in your house just now
at 19 she should know better....but if the boy has turned into a "kevin & perry" type of character then you all have my deepest sympathy as whatever you try will meet with a "Why Me" or a "I hate you" tantrum.
Stick in there...be strong...maintain the boundaries...be cosnsistent and good luck |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"have a shotgun you can borrow,
but seriously good luck with it we only have one that lives with us and thats hard enough"
Why waste the cartridges - a rope is as effective, less mess and it's reusable!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been shopping in Cardiff today with a friend. Retail therapy works wonders!!LOL Just an update. Son and daughter apologized to each other and all serenity descended. It started again after school half hour ago between the two boys, the other being 11yrs old. Just locked myself in my bedroom with a big bar of chocolate and my laptop!!!!!!!
Thanks again for all the replies. They have made me smile and the knowledge that I am not alone is a big help. You have rescued a desperate mother from the brink of the mental ward so thanks for that.
Off to tuck into my galaxy bar now and put in my earplugs!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sibling rivalry Lock them in a room and let them sort it out for themselves or get some sumo suits loltry not to take sides and be impartial. I have two daughters 8 and 12 and I am getting a bit at the moment My eldest always snapping at my youngest. I have just bought her a punch bag advice from here thank you and she is releasing her frustration. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not an advice site but I also know a lot of you have children and probably encountered what we are going through right now. I wonder if you could help me out and share any advice to the following issue we are experiences. We have 3 children. Two of them, a son of 13 and daughter of nearly 19 are fighting constantly about anything and everything. Even the most insignificant thing. The stress that is caused by this is, is astronomical and they don't seem to care at all who they hurt in the process! I know we are not alone with this problem but can't seem to see a solution to improve the situation. Any idea's to make them see the damage that is being done to the whole family with their constant battles would be welcome please. Husband at work a lot so doesn't see first hand the chaos but to be honest I am getting to the end of my rope now. Thanks for reading and to any advice you can suggest. "
i have two daughters of 16 and 18 who are the same, problem is as you have already stated they dont care who they hurt, i sometimes get to the point i get my coat on and go out just to get away from them, i dont know if yours are the same but mine will go out their way just to wind each other you to caurse a agrument, theres no point at all trying to reason with them at that age, i have tried, soon as you finish talking they just carry on lol
I find the best thing to do is just walk out the house, i know we shouldnt have to but its better than all 3 of us argueing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Start leaving magazines around the house, subtly inferring that you're planning a life without them. A cottage in Ireland perhaps, a villa in Spain maybe, let them think that you're thinking of fucking off - and when they ask what's going on tell them that they can argue to their heart's content cos you won't be there to pick up the pieces - one day! |
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