FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Polite verifications...why
Polite verifications...why
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Why do members leave polite verifications for people the have met, weren't keen on and would never meet them again? Surely this is pointless and just midleads other users.
I can understand to a point if they have actually turned up and it just didn't work out but I have heard from some people who have told me not to meet x or y but they have verified them non the less????
Do people feel obliged to have to leave one to get one back?
At the same time I think there should be a name and shame for those who don't turn up or are time wasters or how else do you let others know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Varifications must be honest. We have gladly left a good verify for people we have met, but for what ever reason we didn't get on with.
If there was something wrong we would just not say anythingand not leave a verify.
We have ahad a few cases of some in the group just didnt find any 'chemistry' and although we all had a good time, it was just not 'going to happen'
We feel very comfortable in those circumstances leaving a pos feedback.
Everyone is not everyone elses 'cup of tea' but that doesnt mean either is not a good couple.
But yes just leaving a verify to get one is wrong.
We are always honest in ours
A&S |
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I may be wrong on this, but if you had a bad experience and left a bad, but truthful ( in your opinion ), verification wouldn't the other party just be able to blcok it from site view. If so, what is the point? Why not just decline to make one? |
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There is no name and shame policy on here as it would easily be open to abuse.
As for verifications, i take notice of them to the extent i know that the person im intending to meet will turn up and look like they say even though i always check.
Apart from that i dont take any notice as what one person finds good in a person another may not. Surely the best way is to take time to get to know someone before you arrange to meet and be the judge yourself instead of relying on other peoples information |
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"There is no name and shame policy on here as it would easily be open to abuse.
As for verifications, i take notice of them to the extent i know that the person im intending to meet will turn up and look like they say even though i always check.
Apart from that i dont take any notice as what one person finds good in a person another may not. Surely the best way is to take time to get to know someone before you arrange to meet and be the judge yourself instead of relying on other peoples information"
couldn't agree with you more. what time are you expecting me? lol |
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"There is no name and shame policy on here as it would easily be open to abuse.
As for verifications, i take notice of them to the extent i know that the person im intending to meet will turn up and look like they say even though i always check.
Apart from that i dont take any notice as what one person finds good in a person another may not. Surely the best way is to take time to get to know someone before you arrange to meet and be the judge yourself instead of relying on other peoples information
couldn't agree with you more. what time are you expecting me? lol"
10 minutes ago, your late you timewaster
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"There is no name and shame policy on here as it would easily be open to abuse.
As for verifications, i take notice of them to the extent i know that the person im intending to meet will turn up and look like they say even though i always check.
Apart from that i dont take any notice as what one person finds good in a person another may not. Surely the best way is to take time to get to know someone before you arrange to meet and be the judge yourself instead of relying on other peoples information
couldn't agree with you more. what time are you expecting me? lol
10 minutes ago, your late you timewaster
"
says you when it's your go at the song contest. |
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"There is no name and shame policy on here as it would easily be open to abuse.
As for verifications, i take notice of them to the extent i know that the person im intending to meet will turn up and look like they say even though i always check.
Apart from that i dont take any notice as what one person finds good in a person another may not. Surely the best way is to take time to get to know someone before you arrange to meet and be the judge yourself instead of relying on other peoples information
couldn't agree with you more. what time are you expecting me? lol
10 minutes ago, your late you timewaster
says you when it's your go at the song contest."
your so demanding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have we really become so sheep like that we've lost the ability to think independently? Do we need the opinions of total strangers before we meet others?
Every Sunday I cook chicken using basically the same ingredients: it never tastes the same. My children will rave about it one week, one will another won't...different permutations. Therefore, one mans meet/meat...pun intended!
For me verifications are used solely to show the person is who he says he is in his pictures. How he performs is of no consequence to me that's someone else's opinion, I like to find things out myself.
As for time wasting: again they differ between individuals. In three years of swinging I've never had a timewaster! But for me a timewaster is someone who doesn't turn up once a time and place has been set.
Talking and losing interest, being able to firm up a meeting date, cancelling in ample time etc does not constitute a time waster to me: life happens and people are allowed to change their mind! |
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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I have to say I do get a little P----d when I am asked to supply a verification by somebody I have had a meet with.
Some guy's seem to think it's a god given that you will do one for them, when you don't they seem to think they can respond with rude, abusive and dam right stroppy emails. The worst by far was one guy who made it his mission to complain to several of the people I know and socialise with on this site, that i was a fake and was a total waste of time meeting.......... Seemed funny to me, as he spent an entire weekend at my home and made no attempt to leave for 48hrs lol
Heho nowt as queer as folk lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One does not have to provide a verification for another person he/she has met in person/cam'ed/spoken on the phone.
If one does not like the other person, one does not have to leave a verification.
Since it is up to the receiver to choose whether to display a verification or not, one hardly ever sees a negative verification on display.
Hence nearly all verifications are good.
Therefore, one should bear this in mind when reading people's verifications, in that they are often bias, as in in favour of the receiver.  |
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"I have to say I do get a little P----d when I am asked to supply a verification by somebody I have had a meet with.
Some guy's seem to think it's a god given that you will do one for them, when you don't they seem to think they can respond with rude, abusive and dam right stroppy emails. The worst by far was one guy who made it his mission to complain to several of the people I know and socialise with on this site, that i was a fake and was a total waste of time meeting.......... Seemed funny to me, as he spent an entire weekend at my home and made no attempt to leave for 48hrs lol
Heho nowt as queer as folk lol"
i agree in this case he was wrong in his actions, but if he was good enough to spend the weekend with what was your problem with writing a verification for him ?????  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do members leave polite verifications for people the have met, weren't keen on and would never meet them again? Surely this is pointless and just midleads other users.
I can understand to a point if they have actually turned up and it just didn't work out but I have heard from some people who have told me not to meet x or y but they have verified them non the less????
Do people feel obliged to have to leave one to get one back?
At the same time I think there should be a name and shame for those who don't turn up or are time wasters or how else do you let others know!"
Haven't read all the responses. Could probably quote them verbatum and you'd swear i was pshychic - but no.
Good question!
A verification is to say that the person is who they say they are.
It is NOT marks out of 10 for performance.
There are polite people here with some decorum - thank Christ.
Swinger does not = Filthy mouthed and still tells about sex as if they were a teenager who has never had any.
Imaging we meet. I demand Cunnilingus for three hours and you only do two and a half hours. Should i refuse to give you a verification or say that you were crap at sex OR just not mention the fact that you weren't very good even though I had two and half hours of it?
Just be polite xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You wouldn't go out and buy a new car or mobile phone without considering how good they are and their reliability first would you? Same goes for singles and couples on here. "
Wow - If you consider phones and cars to be the same as sex go to the showroom and fill your boots. Leave the sex to people who appreciate people.
I have this image of a slave market with someone poking up vaggies in a tightness test  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No its not pointless, if the meet was fine but there was no mutual attraction but I didnt want to meet them again, i would leave a nice verification to say what i thought of them. If ive had a meet where the person doesnt turn up, or turns up but takes one look and walks off, i wouldnt verify them, equally if i have met and played with someone and it was not a good meet, for whatever reason, i would not verify them |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
People you don't want to meet again are still genuine, and that's the only point of verifications.
I verify everyone I meet as genuine, but I don't include blow by blow accounts - I prefer to concentrate on their positive personality traits as I perceived them.
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"You wouldn't go out and buy a new car or mobile phone without considering how good they are and their reliability first would you? Same goes for singles and couples on here.
Wow - If you consider phones and cars to be the same as sex go to the showroom and fill your boots. Leave the sex to people who appreciate people.
I have this image of a slave market with someone poking up vaggies in a tightness test "
I WILL RESIST ANSWERING WITH THE SAME RUDENESS! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sent a varification to one guy once...
A real stinker of one too.
Because he wasted my time.
He still has this though doesnt show on his profile. lmao
so sometimes its not what you see re varifications... its what you dont see   |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Why do members leave polite verifications for people the have met, weren't keen on and would never meet them again? Surely this is pointless and just midleads other users.
I can understand to a point if they have actually turned up and it just didn't work out but I have heard from some people who have told me not to meet x or y but they have verified them non the less????
Do people feel obliged to have to leave one to get one back?
At the same time I think there should be a name and shame for those who don't turn up or are time wasters or how else do you let others know!"
I think sometimes people get verifications confused with recommendations...they are two seperate things.
So if we have met someone, wether we decide to play or not, if they were who they said they were when they turned up, then we would verify them as just that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and when we have met them and things weren't quite as wonderful as expected, but a polite veri is left anyway, what about the guys who get narki when you dont display their veri!?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and when we have met them and things weren't quite as wonderful as expected, but a polite veri is left anyway, what about the guys who get narki when you dont display their veri!?!"
never had that to be honest
I have a few verifications i dont have on show
I dont show veri's if they to graphic, i dont see what it matters how good my blow jobs are, how many times they managed to make me cum etc so id sooner not show them
Never had anyone mail me asking why tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All because you have met someone and didnt like them does not mean they not genuine, so why not verify them?!"
I don't want verifications from EVERY meet, one should be enough to say the person is real, looks like their pic and turned up.
Thankfully the people I meet don't like dozens of verifications either.
The only people I verify now are those I've met from other sites to kick start their fun here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and when we have met them and things weren't quite as wonderful as expected, but a polite veri is left anyway, what about the guys who get narki when you dont display their veri!?!
never had that to be honest
I have a few verifications i dont have on show
I dont show veri's if they to graphic, i dont see what it matters how good my blow jobs are, how many times they managed to make me cum etc so id sooner not show them
Never had anyone mail me asking why tho "
But are those validations actually saying how good your blowjobs are?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But are those validations actually saying how good your blowjobs are?
"
you know what i mean dont get saucy lol
Some guys just seem to have to give a step by step account of the full session and i just dont see why thats needed |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I think rugby hit the nail on the head.... some people see varification as recommendation and I think that is why the waters are so muddied
All that I need to see in a verification is "turned up, genuine, and they were who they said they were"
everything else in absolutely subjective, I don't want to see a blow by blow account of a meet, I think that is actually indiscrete and a massive turn off....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do members leave polite verifications for people the have met, weren't keen on and would never meet them again? Surely this is pointless and just midleads other users.
I can understand to a point if they have actually turned up and it just didn't work out but I have heard from some people who have told me not to meet x or y but they have verified them non the less????
Do people feel obliged to have to leave one to get one back?
At the same time I think there should be a name and shame for those who don't turn up or are time wasters or how else do you let others know!
I think sometimes people get verifications confused with recommendations...they are two seperate things.
So if we have met someone, wether we decide to play or not, if they were who they said they were when they turned up, then we would verify them as just that."
As has been pointed out the problem seems to be separating the 'subjective' from the 'objective'. Perhaps a simple 'tick box' form would be better suited including items such as;
Punctuality?
Profile Accurate?
Profile Pictures Current?
The subjective aspects are not really relevant because as someone famous and clever once said; "One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter". Just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As has been pointed out the problem seems to be separating the 'subjective' from the 'objective'. Perhaps a simple 'tick box' form would be better suited including items such as;
Punctuality?
Profile Accurate?
Profile Pictures Current?
The subjective aspects are not really relevant because as someone famous and clever once said; "One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter". Just a thought "
totally seconded - although some verifications contain "recomendations", that is not what they are primarily about.
Personally, we will verify the "genuineness" within above criteria and would add a bit more as and when we feel we want to do so.  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
As has been pointed out the problem seems to be separating the 'subjective' from the 'objective'. Perhaps a simple 'tick box' form would be better suited including items such as;
Punctuality?
Profile Accurate?
Profile Pictures Current?
The subjective aspects are not really relevant because as someone famous and clever once said; "One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter". Just a thought "
that would solve the problems... just a simple tick box would then solve the issue of varification....
if they were going to split it up, then have a "recommendation" section, people can write what they like.. or again have the choice of showing them or not.... and again people can take those with a pinch of salt..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You wouldn't go out and buy a new car or mobile phone without considering how good they are and their reliability first would you? Same goes for singles and couples on here.
Wow - If you consider phones and cars to be the same as sex go to the showroom and fill your boots. Leave the sex to people who appreciate people.
I have this image of a slave market with someone poking up vaggies in a tightness test
I WILL RESIST ANSWERING WITH THE SAME RUDENESS!"
Okay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As has been pointed out the problem seems to be separating the 'subjective' from the 'objective'. Perhaps a simple 'tick box' form would be better suited including items such as;
Punctuality?
Profile Accurate?
Profile Pictures Current?
The subjective aspects are not really relevant because as someone famous and clever once said; "One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter". Just a thought
that would solve the problems... just a simple tick box would then solve the issue of varification....
if they were going to split it up, then have a "recommendation" section, people can write what they like.. or again have the choice of showing them or not.... and again people can take those with a pinch of salt....."
perhaps we can have an e-bay scoring on performance too?
i think it would be pointess writing an accurate verification if it was a horrendous meet...the person would just not post it. i agree with others, they write them in the hope of getting a positive one in return.
i've met one guy so far who was honest about his verification, which read like he was a stud when in reality, nothing more than a coffee had occured! he posted it on his profile nontheless.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't want to see a blow by blow account of a meet, I think that is actually indiscrete and a massive turn off....
"
They are just gross. When I read crap like "Mmmmmm his cock tasted so good!MmmMmMMM" I want to hurl.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i see a verification as someone who is genuine and who is the same as the profile.
if someone i have met does not match the photo or the profile then i don't leave a verification
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide"
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves. |
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as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves. "
i have a few verifications on my profile. not through insecurity but i feel that if the people involved have taken the time to write one, i am obliged to post it.
im secure enough in myself that if i got a negative veri i would post it. i know enough to realise im not everyones ideal meet so why not be up front about it, would actually say a lot more about me than just positive feedback |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves.
i have a few verifications on my profile. not through insecurity but i feel that if the people involved have taken the time to write one, i am obliged to post it.
im secure enough in myself that if i got a negative veri i would post it. i know enough to realise im not everyones ideal meet so why not be up front about it, would actually say a lot more about me than just positive feedback "
A quick glance at your verifications actually raises an interesting question (not about *you* but in general) - repeat veris from the same people. You list shows you have clearly met 3 or 4 members many times (so it could be said that you have 4 times less verifications if you like! ).
So, what do people think about repeat veris? I'd feel weird leaving one and I'd never show a repeat on our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves. "
In total agreement, we also feel that when we see excessive lists of verifications its akin to "bedpost notching".
Eveyone can choose, we prefer not to publicise ours, purely from a discretion point of view. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In total agreement, we also feel that when we see excessive lists of verifications its akin to "bedpost notching".
Eveyone can choose, we prefer not to publicise ours, purely from a discretion point of view. "
Yes that's the phrase I was looking for As that's certainly also how it comes across.
I think we have 3 showing. Mostly they just show, I think, that we are real decent people, not morons. One, the longer one, is off someone who we now think of as a "friend" so we keep it there for that reason.
We hide the other 867494743967647355959.
 |
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as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves.
i have a few verifications on my profile. not through insecurity but i feel that if the people involved have taken the time to write one, i am obliged to post it.
im secure enough in myself that if i got a negative veri i would post it. i know enough to realise im not everyones ideal meet so why not be up front about it, would actually say a lot more about me than just positive feedback
A quick glance at your verifications actually raises an interesting question (not about *you* but in general) - repeat veris from the same people. You list shows you have clearly met 3 or 4 members many times (so it could be said that you have 4 times less verifications if you like! ).
So, what do people think about repeat veris? I'd feel weird leaving one and I'd never show a repeat on our profile."
my personal interpretation of repeat veris displays a genuineness of the people involved, in that they have chosen to revisit rather racking up bed post notches, which is not what im about.
i have been very fortunate indeed to collect around me a circle of friends that socialize together with the benefit of playing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If, as has been said, too many can be off putting, I wonder if too few can be?
Do we get less "attention" as we have only 3 verifications - not seen as "experienced"?
(using "us" as an example, not a definition) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i look to see if someone if meet verified more than photo verified some verifications i look at and get put off instantly
i know this is a swingers site but someone who isnt fussy makes me not want to play with them |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I think it ismportant to leave a verfication to basically say they are who they say and the person in the pictures....
I dont look at lots of verfications as bedpost notches. I look at the positive side of it that a number of people have met this person and is clearly well liked.
Not a lover of 3 vefications by the same person tho. Think once you have left or or even 2 at the most that is enough.
I have met alot of people but if someone thinks that means I am a slut or bedpost notch counting then they are very wrong.
I have met a number of people from socials from another site and also people from here. If I had more free time I may have more verfications.
I feel bad if I dont leave a verfi,it is more about what has not been said than what has been said. I normally leave one and then see if the guy is happy to do one back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was let down pretty badly and i left him a verification which said that he wasted my time and energy and cash getting down to London for him to go home after a few drinks and say we are friends !!
then he left the site and come back on recently and said sorry i want u etc he was blocked instantly
so i wouldnt give him a good one as cost me over 150 quid in all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here "
Not really, while it's not strictly genetic behaviour, it is fairly natural to seek out a balance, a moderation of things. As a species we've had the luxury of managing to discover that not enough, or too much of anything tends to be bad for us so it's only natural it becomes akin to instinct to view non-related things in this way as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here "
No not at all,we have met people without veri's,not long ago we met a lovely guy who had been on the site for 6months no veri's and no pic on profile,he was one of the nicest guys we had met of here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here "
I don't post verifications and it doesnt seem to put folk off.
Never a poster nor a postee be, I have an aversion to them for many of the points above.
did have one man almost in tears as i refused to write one, a point i made prior to the meet, and nothing he needed as he had quite a few un der his belt already....recent ones too.
i did eventually concede and wrote an honest verification...it never made it to his profile.
damned if you do, damned if you don't! |
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Verifications as i have said before i read them to prove that someone is genuine, whatever else is written is between the two people and i see it as subjective. As i play in my own home it is paramount for me to put my safety first and formost above anything else, vericifications is just one system i use to check out potential meets.
Secondly, i tend to leave a duplicate verification for someone if i have known them a long while and havent left them one for ages, basically to say that yes ive found them great and am still happily playing with them.
Thirdly, i actually had a guy message me the other day who happened to mention how many couples i had played with. I checked my verifications and i havent played with any of the couples ive been verified by.
Fourthly, i dont put up all my verifications but having been on the site almost three years and a regular social attendee im going to have far more than someone who has only been on the site a couple of months. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"i was let down pretty badly and i left him a verification which said that he wasted my time and energy and cash getting down to London for him to go home after a few drinks and say we are friends !!
then he left the site and come back on recently and said sorry i want u etc he was blocked instantly
so i wouldnt give him a good one as cost me over 150 quid in all "
If we met someone and either party decided to not want to play, then we would accept it, not complain we have wasted any time or effort.
I would imagine everyone has that in place, as I am sure you wouldn't play if you really didn't want to. Was youe meet just doing the same thing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't list any verifications or friends now. Safer that way. No teddies to duck! lol "
Well we have done the same after reading this. Thanks for the pointer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Makes me smile when I see verifications of peeps who try to retain some annonymity by listing themselves as say Mark and Jane. Then on the verifications, it may say, great night etc, Dave and Julie were the most perfect hosts etc etc |
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here
No not at all,we have met people without veri's,not long ago we met a lovely guy who had been on the site for 6months no veri's and no pic on profile,he was one of the nicest guys we had met of here."
i was careful to say many and not all were put off by no verifications. i myself meet people with no pics and veris, everyone deserves a fair chance to either prove themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As has been pointed out the problem seems to be separating the 'subjective' from the 'objective'. Perhaps a simple 'tick box' form would be better suited including items such as;
Punctuality?
Profile Accurate?
Profile Pictures Current?
The subjective aspects are not really relevant because as someone famous and clever once said; "One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter". Just a thought
that would solve the problems... just a simple tick box would then solve the issue of varification....
if they were going to split it up, then have a "recommendation" section, people can write what they like.. or again have the choice of showing them or not.... and again people can take those with a pinch of salt....."
That's not a bad idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves.
i have a few verifications on my profile. not through insecurity but i feel that if the people involved have taken the time to write one, i am obliged to post it.
im secure enough in myself that if i got a negative veri i would post it. i know enough to realise im not everyones ideal meet so why not be up front about it, would actually say a lot more about me than just positive feedback
A quick glance at your verifications actually raises an interesting question (not about *you* but in general) - repeat veris from the same people. You list shows you have clearly met 3 or 4 members many times (so it could be said that you have 4 times less verifications if you like! ).
So, what do people think about repeat veris? I'd feel weird leaving one and I'd never show a repeat on our profile."
To be honest, recent verifications are useful from our point of view as it shows that the people are presently active. In this sense nowt wrong with re-verification. |
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"i was let down pretty badly and i left him a verification which said that he wasted my time and energy and cash getting down to London for him to go home after a few drinks and say we are friends !!
then he left the site and come back on recently and said sorry i want u etc he was blocked instantly
so i wouldnt give him a good one as cost me over 150 quid in all
If we met someone and either party decided to not want to play, then we would accept it, not complain we have wasted any time or effort.
I would imagine everyone has that in place, as I am sure you wouldn't play if you really didn't want to. Was youe meet just doing the same thing?"
i fully agree with you rugby, a social meet is just that. its not a guarantee that anything further is going to take place. i would have thought that this is a mutually understood fact.
if he had not met your expectations would you have played anyway just so you go VFM. i think not somehow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here "
yeah but at the end of the day everyone does just as they please. so who cares. |
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here
yeah but at the end of the day everyone does just as they please. so who cares."
judging by the varied opinions offered in this thread i think quite a few people care, just not in the same way, which is to be expected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it appears that many are put off meeting others with no verification, now those with too many are frowned upon.
CATCH 22 springs to mind here
yeah but at the end of the day everyone does just as they please. so who cares.
judging by the varied opinions offered in this thread i think quite a few people care, just not in the same way, which is to be expected "
yeah that's what I mean but you said it much better than me xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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perhaps then, by what is said above, it is the verification process that has been abused. if it was used solely to confirm that the person is who they say they are and turn up...that, surely is it, job done.
to me, anything beyond that is slightly crass and unnecessary.
If it was only to verify their existence, perhaps folk wouldnt be so concerned about writing a good or bad one and meets wouldnt demand that you write one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i meet someone that i dont want to meet again, i will verify them. If i meet someone and its not a good meet, i wont, simple.
Just because there is no mutual attraction, doesnt mean that the person is not nice, polite etc therefore surely deservedly of a verification?
And no it is not right to name and shame those that dont turn up, people change their minds, are too scared to say that they have done so, or its a single male with a couples profile, and many other reasons. |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
i was asked to leave a verification for a guy i had met for a coffee, only reason he asked was he had a meet with a female but would only meet if verified, i didnt and he got a bit nasty with me, he has now left site coz i didnt verify him ....... he threw his teddy out the cot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A verification is a way of confirming that someone is who they say they are - not if they have played with someone or not. It does seem a little quizzical to refuse to verify someone you've met as genuine, as it implies that there is an ulterior motive for not doing so.
But then there is the freedom of choice to consider as it isn't mandatory to verify every person you meet.
A veritable minefield this issue can be sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
as for i did this and that on one i would hate as its like bragging so any i have like that i hide
I must admit, when I see a long page of verifications that read like a cross between Mills & Boon and Readers Wives, I really wonder if that person is so insecure they need all the back slapping to make them feel good about themselves.
i have a few verifications on my profile. not through insecurity but i feel that if the people involved have taken the time to write one, i am obliged to post it.
im secure enough in myself that if i got a negative veri i would post it. i know enough to realise im not everyones ideal meet so why not be up front about it, would actually say a lot more about me than just positive feedback
A quick glance at your verifications actually raises an interesting question (not about *you* but in general) - repeat veris from the same people. You list shows you have clearly met 3 or 4 members many times (so it could be said that you have 4 times less verifications if you like! ).
So, what do people think about repeat veris? I'd feel weird leaving one and I'd never show a repeat on our profile."
I've shown 2 from some people because one is the social meet, one is the play meet, i wouldnt verify or show another if i meet them on a regularish basis though as i dont see the point. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"Can I be nosey and ask why you wouldn't verify him as he was real and did meet for coffee?"
Am also curious.
If you met someone that said they are male and 30ish then if they turned up and were a female and 50ish then yes no verfication as they arent what they said they were.
But if you met a man for a coffee and chat and he asked if you would verify him why would you not?
If it helps him then great, there may be another woman meeting a man 50 miles away for coffee and then verifing him and then you may meet this man knowing that another woman has verified him.
I do think I guess a few others have said that the verify process needs to be altered maybe to the tune of confirming the person in the pics/phone/cam is the person you meet for a coffee or meet.
If a person has verfications then it makes me feel better. Would I meet a none verified person for a coffee,yes if I was interested in them. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"Can I be nosey and ask why you wouldn't verify him as he was real and did meet for coffee?"
I asked the question and the reply I got back seemed rather unfair to me. Not going to bother to put it all on here as was a private message in answer to my questioning like you.
After reading the reply it sounds like a woman scorned to me.
Sorry to the lady as am sure you will come on and be rude about me now but was having a discussion and people will give their opinions like I did.
Now leaving this well alone so the lady can have the last word on the subject. 
Can I get in that coffin???? |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
i think its a person choice if they wish to leave a verification for the other person, since there was only a cock pic on the profile and no face pic and we only had a coffee how do i know that the pic was his |
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