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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I'm not sure about them being a "Naughty Twosome" - all I said was park on the driveway and seventeen of them showed up in a transit with a caravan.
On the plus side - they made a lovely job of the tarmac.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I saw Mysteriousguy last night. He donned a super hero suit, and flew through the night sky with such fluidity, fighting crime with ease. Who is this Mysterious Guy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met up with Ejay yesterday. He's completely different to what's in his photos. Bald, at least 65 years of age and toothless. His "tattoos" are actually scribbled on with permanent marker.
A complete disappointment.
I ran for the hills.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met up with Ejay yesterday. He's completely different to what's in his photos. Bald, at least 65 years of age and toothless. His "tattoos" are actually scribbled on with permanent marker.
A complete disappointment.
I ran for the hills. "
It's true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met Boldgirl recently and was surprised to find out that she's really really timid. Never even got to first base, never mind score a home run!!
 "
Met PolarBear in the Kings Arms - 4'7" and ginger - no wonder his pics are all B&W!
PS - the white shirt? His Mum's work blouse  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bumped into Knight the other day at the boozer. Top bloke, spent hours listening to his stories of dragon slaying.
Glad we arranged to meet again soon. C U next Tuesday mate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met Ejay at the "Fab's Hottest Men 2015" club (we're VIP members). I stroked his beard, he stroked mine. We proceeded to make sweet coitus with the promise we wouldn't tell anyone of our delicious secret.
Oh wait... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met Ejay at the "Fab's Hottest Men 2015" club (we're VIP members). I stroked his beard, he stroked mine. We proceeded to make sweet coitus with the promise we wouldn't tell anyone of our delicious secret.
Oh wait..."
Fucking hell hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst having a quiet beer the other day was rudely interrupted my the young whiper snapper EJay. No matter how many times he boasted about the number of cruches he did before leaving the house he just wouldn't get the message until I bought him a Pina colada with a sparkler and a wee umbrella. He skipped off happily after that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After watching the way he moved across the dance floor I realised who Ejay was - when he passed out and face planted into the managers table I realised that was a Roofie Colada.... Mind the umbrella broke his fall.... or his nose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After many naughty messages finally met up with Sensual Temptress last night. What can I say, she's a demon in the bedroom, very demanding!! Watch out for her ulterior motives though guys, make sure you're tooled up.
Oh btw Sensual you still owe me for the screws! |
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"After many naughty messages finally met up with Sensual Temptress last night. What can I say, she's a demon in the bedroom, very demanding!! Watch out for her ulterior motives though guys, make sure you're tooled up.
Oh btw Sensual you still owe me for the screws!"
Lmao ! ! I always pay my debts hehe ! X  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lola - she was a showgirl..
Dopey bint forgot to take the headdress off - thing was so big it blocked the doors in Costa - hence having to be back at Mums before the curfew! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was asked to stop off at the kebab shop on the way round to Lolas. She likes her dirty meat apparently. Was a bit miffed though that I spent the rest of the night on all fours on her kitchen floor scrubbing. Pfft! |
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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago
Just where I need to be. |
Polar..Seiously send a cub round to do a man's job!! When I told him to get on all fours he started to clean my floors with his tongue. Strange man, but got a shiny clean floor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lola 02.
Don't meet her she's boring and rubbish in bed. Within 10 minutes I was half asleep and wanted to leave.
* Obviously designed to keep you to myself*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forgot to mention it but PolarBear's dementia can be a little worrying - Knights not Dragon's.
Oh and sorry about her sitting on the Landlords car - its the tail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to play...... I don't really know if I'm supposed to know you guys a little better than I do though    "
Just jump in - feet first.
We won't be offended.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was dark, he hid in the shadows, couldn't actually see him but he had a very high pitched voice. I got the feeling it may have been a very short lady standing on a tea chest.
Very firm handshake though. The fist is still very tender |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was dark, he hid in the shadows, couldn't actually see him but he had a very high pitched voice. I got the feeling it may have been a very short lady standing on a tea chest.
Very firm handshake though. The fist is still very tender "
had just trapped my balls in my fly & had to stand on the tea chest to ensure it didn't get knicked  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Probably won't show this veri as we didn't see eye to eye "
We had a great time, despite a misunderstanding about him not coming as Saruman for my Lord of the Rings themed party. All he had to do was whitewash his hand, but no, he just lowered his hand by 3 inches and claimed it was Gimli son of his dad's loin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably won't show this veri as we didn't see eye to eye "
Really disappointing meet. Was so looking forward to those hands but he wouldn't take his mittens off  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably won't show this veri as we didn't see eye to eye
Really disappointing meet. Was so looking forward to those hands but he wouldn't take his mittens off "
Mis-representation in its greatest form!
DIdn't moan once
Wasn't a twat
And no bollocks
Although the Barmaid did run screaming from the Snug..... |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
He turned up claiming to be hung like a horse but instead arrived clapping coconuts together to make an equine sound. He then insisted I wear a helmet like in Knightmare and proceeded to spend the meet ordering me to go left a bit, right a bit etc. Plus I beat him at chess and he didn't slay either of my knights in the process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mere shadow of what I had expected"
Met this man a few nights ago.Great with his hands, but the rest is still a mystery, can't wait to meet the rest of him xx |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Sandl40 - it was lovely to see them, but they could have told me they were crime fighting vigilantes prior to this, as they left part way through the meet to save an old lady from Scunner Campbell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have been carrying my tits around in my handbag since she left. Seemed such a nice person too. Why she felt the need to steal my entire bra collection I don't know. I would have given her one if she asked nicely. Seems our bust measurement is the only thing we have in common after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wondergurl :
I wondered what all this swinging was about and what they all get upto. This lovely lass left me in no doubt whatsoever.
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. (lyric from a song but i forget which lol)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Canis turned up very late saying something about being followed by a pack of dogs on heat. I suggested it may have been the Bonio biscuits he had in his pocket. I did have to smack his nose a couple of times when he stuck it where it shouldn't have been and my slippers have mysterious bite marks on them. Only having one ball didn't handicap him in any way,he was all over me like a dog on a meaty bone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like pissing on an electric fence I was buzzing during our meet. What started as a game of strip Connect 4 rapidly descended into 17 minutes of passion. Awesome. We then built a fort with scatter cushions and sheets and drew moustaches onto pictures of famous people whilst eating Skittles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ptrichor - was a bit weirded out as the tie really is a pencil...
Apparently theres a larger one keeping his back straight but I didn't want to ask where he was keeping it.... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Knightslayr:
I couldn't wait to get him undressed but it took 2 and half hours to get him out of all that tin suit and chainmail. I was left exhausted and frustrated. He lived up to his name and my night was slain.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Licketysplits:
An amazing pair..
an amazing trick with the tongue...
but I wasn't the only one living up to my name that night...
On the plus side - my armour got cleaned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Licketyslits, sure lived up to her name, took one look at me and couldn't get away fast enough. "
If you have seen one silhouette avatar you have seen them all
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Scrumdiddly
Supercalefragelisticexpialidocious!
#enoughsaid "
Miss Cariadus:
Wandered in, shouting like that one from Gavin and Stacey...
Necked the two pints that were on the bar, the guys next to them and then proceeded to pilfer a barrel from behind the bar!
To top it off a fight broke out when it turns out she'd borrowed Ejays heels. Poor lad had only popped in to see PolarBear |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Knightslayr - NOT what I was hoping for. His steed was a small moped, with a pizza box on the back, for a starter, as opposed to the mighty destrier I was expecting. His armour was nice and he had gotten a Blue Peter badge for it, but did have a hole in the back, where he'd used some of it for wrapping a piece of salmon in.
He did make up for this by having a mighty sword, but whilst this was great for slicing the Battenberg, it did not make the meet. Top guy, all the same, though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tinatitz
If I remember rightly, it was as wonderful meet with Tina....I'm not precicely sure though as it was 22 months ago...she gave me a tit wank and i've literally just found my way out today....
It does mean I was present for the next 37 meets she had...I've been living lost in her cleavage surviving off biscuit crumbs and semen...
Someone call me an ambulance please!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mysterious guy......is actually a mysterious lady!
I lost count of the number of times I had to tell her I didn't need the drive tarmacing...."
we didn't actually meet, his drive was too muddy to walk up in stilletos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet knight slayer yesterday for wot i was hoping was going to be a night of him slayin her (me ) but instead he put on srek puss in boots n every time the dam dragon came on he licked the tv svreen |
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