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Bad jokes that make you laugh

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Post your bad jokes that no matter how many times you hear them or how cheesey they are they still make you laugh.

I'll start

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

I don't know why did the elephant paint his balls red.

So he could hide in a cherry Tree.

Have you everseen an elephant I'm a cherry Tree?

No!

Must work then.

How did the native die?

I don't know how did the native die!

Picking cherries

Your turn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just went on a once in a lifetime holiday.

i tell you what, never again

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Post your bad jokes that no matter how many times you hear them or how cheesey they are they still make you laugh.

I'll start

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

I don't know why did the elephant paint his balls red.

So he could hide in a cherry Tree.

Have you everseen an elephant I'm a cherry Tree?

No!

Must work then.

How did the native die?

I don't know how did the native die!

Picking cherries

Your turn "

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's white and hides up trees?

A fridge

That's all I've got lol xx

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What's white and if it falls out of a tree will kill you?

Rupert, Rupert the fridge

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By *ushtush300Couple over a year ago

Southport

whats white and grey? An elephant in a Fridge

Whats black and white and red all over a newspaper

What do you call a fish with no fins Bob

What do you call a man with three balls - Whod you robyourbollockoff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went to a zoo once, the only animal there was a dog...

It was a shitzu..

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By *edheadsruleCouple over a year ago

lancashire

My 7 yr old favourite joke....

What do you call 2 robbers?

A pair of nickers.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a mouse called Elvis.

He got caught in a trap.

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By *ortland51Man over a year ago

Glasgow

Two cows in a field. One turns to the other and says;

"Here, are you worried about this mad cow disease thing?"

"Nah, not me mate" replies the other cow, I'm a helicopter"!

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 08/04/16 09:55:09]

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 08/04/16 09:56:47]

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? he wiped his arse lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's brown and sticky.

A stick.

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By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

What did Spock see when he looked in the toilet?

The Captain's Log.

What does a Captain in the British army see when they look in the toilet?

The Officer's Mess

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Man walks into a Bar.......................................... Says fuck me that hurt!!

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"whats white and grey? An elephant in a Fridge

Whats black and white and red all over?

A chopped penguin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two birds sat on a perch and one says to the other 'can you smell fish?'

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two snowmen in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots?

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By *omguyMan over a year ago

Romford

Two buckets of sick are walking down a road and one starts crying. "Whats wrong?" the other asks, "Sorry, i always get emotional in this street, I was brought up round here"

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

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By *attoodGent90Man over a year ago

Cambs

The wife came home the other day to find me using her hair dryer on my cock,

What are you doing? She asked,

I replied,

Warming up your dinner!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a condom in your hole.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!

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By *ustcantgetenuf50Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it."

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!"
i think this one went a little way over your head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!i think this one went a little way over your head"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a sith lord with no arms and no legs?

Darth Mat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!i think this one went a little way over your head

Not at all pal,it was extremely obvious you were comparing a veiny hotdog to a cock.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!i think this one went a little way over your head

Not at all pal,it was extremely obvious you were comparing a veiny hotdog to a cock."
told you it went over your head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you tell the difference between a weasel n a stoat?....

Well a weasel is weasily wegocnised n a stoat is stoataly different...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?....To see his flatmate.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?.....

Finding a vein in your hotdog

With all the crap they put in those things I think finding a vein would be the least of your worries!i think this one went a little way over your head

Not at all pal,it was extremely obvious you were comparing a veiny hotdog to a cock.told you it went over your head

Aye ok then pal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two nuns in a bath, one says "where's the soap?"

The other replies "yes it does"

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Two nuns in a bath, one says "where's the soap?"

The other replies "yes it does""

All time favourite

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Two cows in a field. One turns to the other and says;

"Here, are you worried about this mad cow disease thing?"

"Nah, not me mate" replies the other cow, I'm a helicopter"!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off"

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Man says to his friend, "walking by the train tracks last night, came across a girl and took her back to mine. Had sex all night long."

Friend asks, "was she pretty?"

Man shrugs his shoulders, "dunno...never found her head!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2 cannibals are eating a clown. Half way through eating him 1 turns to the other and says

'does this fucker taste kinda funny?'

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By *oward1978Man over a year ago

Rotherham

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Knock knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've just bought a 50" television for £300. It was cheap because the volume button doesn't work and at that price I couldn't turn it down

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By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

I was at the Olympics last year. Walking thru the Athletes Village I saw a man carrying a long stick.

I called out "Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"

He replied:

"Actually I'm German. And how did you know my name is Walter?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Knock knock

Who's there?

Cows go

Cows go who?

No you fool cows go moo

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By *avid0894Man over a year ago

Paisley

Why can't a penguin fly?

Because it's a chocolate biscuit!

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By *ibbyhunterCouple over a year ago

keighley

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?.........a wonky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

A chicken sees-a-salad

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By *avid0894Man over a year ago

Paisley

Someone ask me if I am a horse

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By *wo4FemCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

Knock knock

Who's there?

Little man

Little man who?

Little man who can't reach the doorbell.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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By *heekychMan over a year ago

Bracknell

????

What do you call a bloke with no shins..?

TONY

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?

Giant footprints in the butter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't johovist witnesses celebrate Halloween?

Cause they don't like opening the door tae strangers.

#boomboom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's worse than finding a dead woman in a bin?

Finding a dead woman in 10 different bins.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's a joke for any one in Manchester.

M60.

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By *indmill and weetabixCouple over a year ago

Kettering

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow

Interrupting Co MOOOOOO

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People are always fascinated when I tell them about my talking pony, although I can never prove it because he's always a little hoarse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is red, white and black and can't turn around in a telephone box?

A nun with a javelin through her head ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did the cheese say to the mirror?

Halloumi

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple over a year ago

dukinfield

Why do girls wear make up and perfume?

Cos they're ugly and smell like pooh!

Got told this when I was 7 years old and no matter how many times I've hear/told this it make me chuckle like im 7 again!

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By *udistnorthantsMan over a year ago

Desborough

Shakespeare walks into a pub and the landlord shouts, "Oi you! You're Bard!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sausage and an egg in an oven.

Egg says "It's hot in here!"

Sausage says "Fuck me a talking egg! "

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By *rozacMan over a year ago

london

Why do cows have hooves?

Because they lactose

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By *im ZeeMan over a year ago

north staffs/cheshire

Why do cows wear bells?

'Cause their horns don't work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The magic tractor went down the road and turned in to a field

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had this racing snail once, but it just wasnt fast enough. I tried taking its shell off, but that just made it sluggish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A woman walks into a bar and asked for 'a double entendre'? So the barman gave her one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Post your bad jokes that no matter how many times you hear them or how cheesey they are they still make you laugh.

I'll start

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

I don't know why did the elephant paint his balls red.

So he could hide in a cherry Tree.

Have you everseen an elephant I'm a cherry Tree?

No!

Must work then.

How did the native die?

I don't know how did the native die!

Picking cherries

Your turn

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries

"
Nice one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a dear with no eyes........

No idear

What do you call a dear with no eyes and legs....

Still no idear

What do you call a dear with no eyes and legs and dick....

Still no fucking idear....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you call a dear with no eyes........

No idear

What do you call a dear with no eyes and legs....

Still no idear

What do you call a dear with no eyes and legs and dick....

Still no fucking idear....

What do you call a deer, with no legs, no eyes, no dick and sitting on top of the kichen free standing cupboard?

Still no fucking idea a'tall boy.

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By *ack2071Man over a year ago

bromsgrove

How do you make a hormone?

Put sand in her Vaseline.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A guy knocked on my door the other day, asking for donations for the local swim team.

I just gave him a glass of water.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Went to the doctors today and told him ,

"Doc I feel old, i hate westerners and I have an urge to blow myself and others to bits!"

"Aahh" he replied

"Nothing to worrie about....your just having a MID LIFE ISIS"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A good friend of mine recently got struck off from the medical profession for sleeping with his patients.

Shame really he was a bloody good vet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you make a bear cross?

Nail two together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw 8 legs of venison for sale they wanted £150 i thought that's too fuckin dear

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By *omez42Man over a year ago

gloucester

I threw a boomerang, and wondered how it worked.

And then it hit me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the road.

To get to the other side fs

Boom boom.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the playpark?

To get to the other slide.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol

What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

That one got me laughing for hours at a family Christmas and they make fun of me to this day about it

H x

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