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This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back 
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This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
Stupid question but why didn't you just say no?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
First dibs when it gets turned into bacon?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help. |
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
I cooked your pig for bacon
Problem solved
Mrs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you were about, why not? It's a friend and they only need feeding once a day - not that hard work really
If not happy with it, not available, why didn't you just say 'sorry I cant'? |
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By *km45Man
over a year ago
Narnia |
"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
Depends how close 'friends' you are. Ask her to check properly with you next rather than via a text in case you already have plans |
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This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
well its a bit late now but you should have invited a few of us round for a bbq n a lil play  |
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It wold be fun to look after a porky friend for a weekend, bring it on 
Some people don't appreciate what happens in their lives and look back at missed opportunities later on.
What an experience that could be  |
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help."
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't mind if I'd been asked in advance, especially if I didn't have any plans. Though wouldn't be happy if my friend just took it for granted that I'd care for her piggy without checking if I had plans for over the bank holiday weekend beforehand. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
Sounds like a job for the RSPCA rather than you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were about, why not? It's a friend and they only need feeding once a day - not that hard work really
If not happy with it, not available, why didn't you just say 'sorry I cant'?"
Yep this exactly. |
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
"No" not in your vocabulary then? |
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"How much looking after does a pig need?
It may have been a house pig  "
The pig is a full sized adult pig. He is kept in an outbuilding because he's huge & dangerous if he escapes. If any of you are asked to feed a pig…my advice is…open the door, try to avoid getting trampled on as the pig stampedes towards the food, throw the food at it & shut the door, pronto!! |
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
You know you're being used right?!! |
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
just say that bacon sandwich was delicious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
She's using you to fund things she wants and you're allowing that.
Tell her to pay for her own stuff.
I have a friend who is always skint, i don't offer to pay for anything and if she asks me for a loan i refuse if she didn't pay me back the last time. I'm not here to fund her life and we're still friends. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
She's taking the piss. If she can't afford the food or to dispose of the horse then why have the animals.
Tell her no next time and if she tries that emotional blackmail again inform her you'll call the RSPCA. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"No" not in your vocabulary then?"
After reading the full details I can see why the op couldn't refuse...
Although sounds like the friend needs to get her priorities sorted |
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This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
"
Did you look after the pig ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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so this friend can afford to own a horse and a pig - id say sell one or both if she cant afford or manage to get to them or keep them herself- an occasional favour is one thing but you seem to be doing way more than that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh. It's one of those threads where the back story slowly unravels...  "
Always when no one is sympathetic. Then we must read how AWFUL the other person is. |
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Yes & he's fine & I avoided the stampede
However, I am allowing the behaviour (as other posts have pointed out) & I think the real issue is that the welfare of the animals-as other people have said.
If anyone wants a pet pig…you know where I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh. It's one of those threads where the back story slowly unravels...
Always when no one is sympathetic. Then we must read how AWFUL the other person is. "
Things like this usually happen to empathetic people, who might also be people pleasers, AND who are more likely to have a kind of memory loss from being used/abused before.
So yes sometimes you think about how you feel firstly before you think about why you feel that way because you aren't comfortable mentioning the bad stuff about someone else (as a people pleaser) and you forgot about it because you want to stay friends and bypass your own feelings and thoughts for someone elses right to be happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
Rspca she can't care for her animals they need to be rehomed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WOW! It sounds like you know me "
Used to be me at one time, believe that or not. I still have the fog surrounding things that bother me sometimes and overlook (by forgetting about) stuff i shouldn't.
You can still have your friends and not let them walk all over you. But you've got to get comfortable with enforcing boundaries and get comfortable with getting rid of anyone who doesn't respect them, either out of your life for good or by distancing yourself from them until they respect you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friends look after my dog pretty much every time I go away.
In return, I usually treat them to some drinkies, duty free chocs and a meal out. I also pay for them to go away for a long weekend between their birthdays (which are only 2/3 weeks apart).
TBH kennels would probably be cheaper, but the peace of mind I have knowing that he is being looked after is worth its weight in gold. |
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"WOW! It sounds like you know me
Used to be me at one time, believe that or not. I still have the fog surrounding things that bother me sometimes and overlook (by forgetting about) stuff i shouldn't.
You can still have your friends and not let them walk all over you. But you've got to get comfortable with enforcing boundaries and get comfortable with getting rid of anyone who doesn't respect them, either out of your life for good or by distancing yourself from them until they respect you."
Very good advice-thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WOW! It sounds like you know me
Used to be me at one time, believe that or not. I still have the fog surrounding things that bother me sometimes and overlook (by forgetting about) stuff i shouldn't.
You can still have your friends and not let them walk all over you. But you've got to get comfortable with enforcing boundaries and get comfortable with getting rid of anyone who doesn't respect them, either out of your life for good or by distancing yourself from them until they respect you.
Very good advice-thank you "
You're welcome.
Shame you have to change yourself to stop people taking advantage but it does work, and it can take months (or even years) for some people to get that you have boundaries, this is their problem and they need to learn other people have boundaries but they will only learn if you enforce them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
Get rid. She's not a friend. |
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"My friends look after my dog pretty much every time I go away.
In return, I usually treat them to some drinkies, duty free chocs and a meal out. I also pay for them to go away for a long weekend between their birthdays (which are only 2/3 weeks apart).
TBH kennels would probably be cheaper, but the peace of mind I have knowing that he is being looked after is worth its weight in gold."
And there it is…reciprocity |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Ledbury |
"How much looking after does a pig need?
It may have been a house pig
The pig is a full sized adult pig. He is kept in an outbuilding because he's huge & dangerous if he escapes. If any of you are asked to feed a pig…my advice is…open the door, try to avoid getting trampled on as the pig stampedes towards the food, throw the food at it & shut the door, pronto!!"
You are correct, pigs can be twats (yes, this is a technical term.. ). Is it shut in all the time with no access to a run? Is there no way you can chuck the food in over the gate.
IMO, if the pig is currently well fed, I would suggest very forcibly that she sends it on ASAP. If the animal isn't being mistreated, then it isn't an RSPCA job. Even if it was, they are a charity and really have little or no practicable exoertise when it comes to farm animals. The body responsible for the well being of livestock is Animal Health who are part of Trading Standards.
You may well find that for the price of a couple of bags of pig nuts in fuel and the promise of sausages, a local farmer may be able to take it in to kill for her if you ask nicely. |
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"How much looking after does a pig need?
It may have been a house pig
The pig is a full sized adult pig. He is kept in an outbuilding because he's huge & dangerous if he escapes. If any of you are asked to feed a pig…my advice is…open the door, try to avoid getting trampled on as the pig stampedes towards the food, throw the food at it & shut the door, pronto!!
You are correct, pigs can be twats (yes, this is a technical term.. ). Is it shut in all the time with no access to a run? Is there no way you can chuck the food in over the gate.
IMO, if the pig is currently well fed, I would suggest very forcibly that she sends it on ASAP. If the animal isn't being mistreated, then it isn't an RSPCA job. Even if it was, they are a charity and really have little or no practicable exoertise when it comes to farm animals. The body responsible for the well being of livestock is Animal Health who are part of Trading Standards.
You may well find that for the price of a couple of bags of pig nuts in fuel and the promise of sausages, a local farmer may be able to take it in to kill for her if you ask nicely. "
Is youre mate fit lol |
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Can't afford to feed her animal but can go away?
I hope you've kept receipts of everything you've paid for?
I'd write it all down & ask her to start a repayment plan.
She's taking you for a ride x
JG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'"
you need to knock that on the head if she is unable to get to her animals then she shouldnt have them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This weekend my 'friend' went away partying & sent me a text asking if I'd look after her pet pig. I'm really fed up because this meant I couldn't do anything. Don't know what to say to her when she gets back
It's a one off for a friend, no major drama really is it? You said you'd look after her pig, I wouldn't say much but hint that you won't do it again maybe? She may give you a thank you and that might help.
You're right…if it was just done off and if I'd agreed to do it beforehand…however…
Animal lovers, you may find the following distressing!! :
For weeks now, (months on & off) I've been driving her around to feed her horses almost every day (her pig is elsewhere). She's my friend & she doesn't have a car, I do. I also recently paid for her dead horse to be disposed of when it was euthanised as she din't have the cash.
The pig had run out of food & she told me in a text that I needed to buy the food & feed him otherwise he'd have no food or fresh water for three days. To me, stupidly or not, this isn't really a choice. She is 6 miles away but has no car…
I'm starting to feel uneasy about this 'friendship'
She's taking the piss. If she can't afford the food or to dispose of the horse then why have the animals.
Tell her no next time and if she tries that emotional blackmail again inform her you'll call the RSPCA."
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