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Sister LisaB's Sunday Morning Confessional - the proxy edition...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You know you are sinful; confess all, and forgiveness may be yours.
I have no t'internet today, so today's judgements on your wickedness will be overseen by Fr Thomas O'Malley, the fabber formally known as Mr Alleycat  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you one of those dodgy fathers I've heard about? Gloryhole in the confessional booth types?  "
I can be whatever you want to be, Swing, I mean my child, I mean um... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure I want to step into your confessional Father, looks like a dark placed "
Fear not my child, my hands are warm, my heart pure, my mind not so much. Confess all child |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm definitely not sitting on your knee to give my confession... "
Who said anything about knees
And, of course, the very mention of your reluctance suggests sinful thoughts, so the offer of confession remains open |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I watched a couple play with each other whilst I wanked last night, I watch a friend take a few cock last night whilst I watched and enjoyed and I had my arse spanked by another friend  "
And they knew you were there my child? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ooo father, I'm sure that wasn't what the confessional box was designed for. I wasn't a sinner before but I need forgiveness now  "
This could be a long confession but I'll persevere my child |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This looks decidedly dodgy but I am about to flirt with my boss all day, and I'm going to enjoy it   "
Your distrust of this confessional should be added to your (growing) list. See me for evening confessional |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooo father, I'm sure that wasn't what the confessional box was designed for. I wasn't a sinner before but I need forgiveness now
This could be a long confession but I'll persevere my child "
Perseverance is good. Back in the box we go, we may be some time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you one of those dodgy fathers I've heard about? Gloryhole in the confessional booth types?
I can be whatever you want to be, Swing, I mean my child, I mean um..."
Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it? "
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Didn't think I had anything to confess, but now I think I do.
Tried to fix a broken bridge, didn't do a very good job of it and have probably offended the other party as a result of my effort.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forgive me father...for instance have sinned..
Yesterday I had impure thoughts.....filthy thoughts... "
This is only natural my child: Forgiven (although almost not forgiven for lack of detail) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I went to see my fwb yesterday just for half hr for a chat. Left just over an hr later no chat but had lots of sex and now I have bruises lol "
Bruises? A reminder that I can work in mysterious ways: Forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Didn't think I had anything to confess, but now I think I do.
Tried to fix a broken bridge, didn't do a very good job of it and have probably offended the other party as a result of my effort.
"
You tried, my child. Persevere: Forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers "
I'm not looking for forgiveness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forgive me father...for instance have sinned..
Yesterday I had impure thoughts.....filthy thoughts...
*for I have "
They weren't the omitted details I was eluding to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perseverance is good. Back in the box we go, we may be some time
You shall be absolved.
*eventually"
I think father that it might take some time to absolve me of all sins. Going to be a long day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I confess i scoffed a whole bag of family size revels last night.
I know gluttony is a sin  "
Gluttony may be a sin, but your confession goes a long way to absolving yourself. The final part, however, must consider whether a) you scoffed the coffee monstrsoties created by Satan himself, and b) whether your gluttony deprived anybody else? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers
I'm not looking for forgiveness "
In that case, I know just the person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perseverance is good. Back in the box we go, we may be some time
You shall be absolved.
*eventually
I think father that it might take some time to absolve me of all sins. Going to be a long day "
Well we'd better get started then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to see my fwb yesterday just for half hr for a chat. Left just over an hr later no chat but had lots of sex and now I have bruises lol
Bruises? A reminder that I can work in mysterious ways: Forgiven "
Oh thank you father. Yes I have bruises and bite marks. But I did have jelly legs for nearly an hr after lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perseverance is good. Back in the box we go, we may be some time
You shall be absolved.
*eventually
I think father that it might take some time to absolve me of all sins. Going to be a long day
Well we'd better get started then "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgive me father...for instance have sinned..
Yesterday I had impure thoughts.....filthy thoughts...
*for I have
They weren't the omitted details I was eluding to. "
I know....but I'll save myself and behaving with decorum as one should |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do have another confession to make ....
Yesterday I had evil thoughts...truly horrible and wished a thousand midgees to bite someone on there bollocks  |
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Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been 7 long days since my last confession.
I have had impure thoughts every day, mostly about my hubby but the occasional black gentlemen I see while on my travels.
I flirted outrageously with another black gentleman in London, promising him he could do anything and everything he wanted to my body. So he did and I'm shamed to say I enjoyed it, probably more than I should have for he debased me in the most foul, sexual manner possible.
Last night, while hubby was in the toilet brushing his teeth, I took out my favourite toy and proceeded to use it, knowing full well my hubby would walk in to find me thus. I then took full advantage of his aroused state to satisfy myself. His needs, sadly, were secondary in my thoughts. Thankfully he rose to the occasion and performed like a true professional. I am truly blessed with a sinful mind and body.
Don't forgive me father for I'd rather be punished |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bruises? A reminder that I can work in mysterious ways: Forgiven
Oh thank you father. Yes I have bruises and bite marks. But I did have jelly legs for nearly an hr after lol "
Let's not push it now |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"This looks decidedly dodgy but I am about to flirt with my boss all day, and I'm going to enjoy it
Your distrust of this confessional should be added to your (growing) list. See me for evening confessional "
Yes Father |
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Father O'Malley please forgive me, I'm struggling with my impure thoughts. I keep getting flashbacks of an incredibly mouthwatering (amongst other things) meet. This is being reinforced by whom I met and his extraordinary ability to stimulate my mind to send messages that arouse a certain part of my body. Surely I can be forgiven with such an extraordinary imagination influencing my mind, I'm clearly not to blame |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Forgive me father...for instance have sinned..
Yesterday I had impure thoughts.....filthy thoughts...
*for I have
They weren't the omitted details I was eluding to.
I know....but I'll save myself and behaving with decorum as one should "
As is right and proper: double forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Didn't think I had anything to confess, but now I think I do.
Tried to fix a broken bridge, didn't do a very good job of it and have probably offended the other party as a result of my effort.
You tried, my child. Persevere: Forgiven "
The door on that one is truly closed now, I heard the lock being superglued as well, there's no reopening it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been 7 long days since my last confession.
I have had impure thoughts every day, mostly about my hubby but the occasional black gentlemen I see while on my travels.
I flirted outrageously with another black gentleman in London, promising him he could do anything and everything he wanted to my body. So he did and I'm shamed to say I enjoyed it, probably more than I should have for he debased me in the most foul, sexual manner possible.
Last night, while hubby was in the toilet brushing his teeth, I took out my favourite toy and proceeded to use it, knowing full well my hubby would walk in to find me thus. I then took full advantage of his aroused state to satisfy myself. His needs, sadly, were secondary in my thoughts. Thankfully he rose to the occasion and performed like a true professional. I am truly blessed with a sinful mind and body.
Don't forgive me father for I'd rather be punished"
This will require some discussion with Sister Lisa. Rest assured however, that our punishment will be robust but fair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers
I'm not looking for forgiveness
In that case, I know just the person "
Had a feeling you might  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This looks decidedly dodgy but I am about to flirt with my boss all day, and I'm going to enjoy it
Your distrust of this confessional should be added to your (growing) list. See me for evening confessional
Yes Father "
We clearly have a lot of work to do this evening |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Father O'Malley please forgive me, I'm struggling with my impure thoughts. I keep getting flashbacks of an incredibly mouthwatering (amongst other things) meet. This is being reinforced by whom I met and his extraordinary ability to stimulate my mind to send messages that arouse a certain part of my body. Surely I can be forgiven with such an extraordinary imagination influencing my mind, I'm clearly not to blame "
Clearly the devil is at work here. However, to ensure this is the case, and because you are enjoying this far too much, you must come in, tell all, and these sins may be absolved |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Didn't think I had anything to confess, but now I think I do.
Tried to fix a broken bridge, didn't do a very good job of it and have probably offended the other party as a result of my effort.
You tried, my child. Persevere: Forgiven
The door on that one is truly closed now, I heard the lock being superglued as well, there's no reopening it."
I'm very sorry to hear this my child: Double forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon "
We're going to need to start all over again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers
I'm not looking for forgiveness
In that case, I know just the person
Had a feeling you might "
Oh no, she says you were just too wicked |
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"Father O'Malley please forgive me, I'm struggling with my impure thoughts. I keep getting flashbacks of an incredibly mouthwatering (amongst other things) meet. This is being reinforced by whom I met and his extraordinary ability to stimulate my mind to send messages that arouse a certain part of my body. Surely I can be forgiven with such an extraordinary imagination influencing my mind, I'm clearly not to blame
Clearly the devil is at work here. However, to ensure this is the case, and because you are enjoying this far too much, you must come in, tell all, and these sins may be absolved "
Then you'll need forgiveness too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Father O'Malley please forgive me, I'm struggling with my impure thoughts. I keep getting flashbacks of an incredibly mouthwatering (amongst other things) meet. This is being reinforced by whom I met and his extraordinary ability to stimulate my mind to send messages that arouse a certain part of my body. Surely I can be forgiven with such an extraordinary imagination influencing my mind, I'm clearly not to blame
Clearly the devil is at work here. However, to ensure this is the case, and because you are enjoying this far too much, you must come in, tell all, and these sins may be absolved
Then you'll need forgiveness too "
So you meant to say that we'll need Sister Lisa here too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll ask for forgiveness on my deathbed. Thanks anyway father
And I shall be there (not in a creepy way you understand) to absolve you "
The angelic emoticon is pouring it on a bit thick... Not sure you are as innocent as you seem... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Father - I have urges to flirt with your biceps
I clearly have my work cut out with you, don't I?
Oh..!! That's rather devil-ish of you Father..?? 
Shall I pinch it? "
These urges must not be forced down (sontk speak), they need to worked through so please step forward my child |
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"Father O'Malley please forgive me, I'm struggling with my impure thoughts. I keep getting flashbacks of an incredibly mouthwatering (amongst other things) meet. This is being reinforced by whom I met and his extraordinary ability to stimulate my mind to send messages that arouse a certain part of my body. Surely I can be forgiven with such an extraordinary imagination influencing my mind, I'm clearly not to blame
Clearly the devil is at work here. However, to ensure this is the case, and because you are enjoying this far too much, you must come in, tell all, and these sins may be absolved
Then you'll need forgiveness too
So you meant to say that we'll need Sister Lisa here too? "
FFM is that allowed on such a thread |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll ask for forgiveness on my deathbed. Thanks anyway father
And I shall be there (not in a creepy way you understand) to absolve you
The angelic emoticon is pouring it on a bit thick... Not sure you are as innocent as you seem... "
A scandalous slur if ever I've heard one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again "
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Then you'll need forgiveness too
So you mean to say that we'll need Sister Lisa here too?
FFM is that allowed on such a thread "
The powers on high have commanded me to create such a scenario, and so it shall be. Do not question the almighty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought so. That's not the body of Christ you are offering me is it?
It's majesty isn't enough for you? Forgiveness is slipping through your fingers
I'm not looking for forgiveness
In that case, I know just the person
Had a feeling you might
Oh no, she says you were just too wicked "
Scandalous rumours |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time "
This is progress my child |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a mff Thursday and spent all last night with a male friend my ladybits are full of cum
You mean you wasted Friday night? Not forgiven "
Ok, forgiven (a bit)! |
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"Then you'll need forgiveness too
So you mean to say that we'll need Sister Lisa here too?
FFM is that allowed on such a thread
The powers on high have commanded me to create such a scenario, and so it shall be. Do not question the almighty "
I shall not question Father |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I may or may not have sent a cock pic to a lady in a 'send a naughty pic' thread.
But if I did, would I get forgiveness? "
Given the context, forgiveness must be yours: |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child "
Still a way to go father. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father. "
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father.
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me "
And so have I now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I may or may not have sent a cock pic to a lady in a 'send a naughty pic' thread.
But if I did, would I get forgiveness?
Given the context, forgiveness must be yours: "
Great stuff. Until next week, have a great day op.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father.
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me
And so have I now "
The spirit of the holy Fab is strong with you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I may or may not have sent a cock pic to a lady in a 'send a naughty pic' thread.
But if I did, would I get forgiveness?
Given the context, forgiveness must be yours:
Great stuff. Until next week, have a great day op. "
You are most welcome, my child |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father.
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me
And so have I now
The spirit of the holy Fab is strong with you "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father.
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me
And so have I now
The spirit of the holy Fab is strong with you
"
I also sense a little bit of persistent wickedness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well i just went to my local RC church and they've never heard of you! Bloody imposter priest.. come on you need to be flogged for this almighty sin you are commiting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I delivered my friends cold coffee because I was too busy talking to a sexy bastard "
I'm sorry, but I only have one choice: Unforgiven... repent and report back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i just went to my local RC church and they've never heard of you! Bloody imposter priest.. come on you need to be flogged for this almighty sin you are commiting "
Calm, my child. My internet degree in Theology is in the post. Now come in while there's still hope for your soul |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i just went to my local RC church and they've never heard of you! Bloody imposter priest.. come on you need to be flogged for this almighty sin you are commiting
Calm, my child. My internet degree in Theology is in the post. Now come in while there's still hope for your soul "
Im going in nowhere.. plus you havent given anyone communion after... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we'd better get started then
You'd better come in
I coming father, or should I say that in the box soon
We're going to need to start all over again
Yes father, I shall hold on longer this time
This is progress my child
Still a way to go father.
Remember my child, I have special powers vested in me
And so have I now
The spirit of the holy Fab is strong with you
I also sense a little bit of persistent wickedness "
Sorry father, feeling very wicked today |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I delivered my friends cold coffee because I was too busy talking to a sexy bastard
I'm sorry, but I only have one choice: Unforgiven... repent and report back
Oh I won't repent "
Report back anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i just went to my local RC church and they've never heard of you! Bloody imposter priest.. come on you need to be flogged for this almighty sin you are commiting
Calm, my child. My internet degree in Theology is in the post. Now come in while there's still hope for your soul
Im going in nowhere.. plus you havent given anyone communion after... "
That's a very good point. Step this way and I'll pop something in your mouth |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I had a mff Thursday and spent all last night with a male friend my ladybits are full of cum
You mean you wasted Friday night? Not forgiven
Ok, forgiven (a bit)! "
Only a bit, well I'll have to try harder next week lol |
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"I delivered my friends cold coffee because I was too busy talking to a sexy bastard
I'm sorry, but I only have one choice: Unforgiven... repent and report back
Oh I won't repent
Report back anyway "
I tried to wash away my sins in the shower but I ended up touching myself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had a mff Thursday and spent all last night with a male friend my ladybits are full of cum
You mean you wasted Friday night? Not forgiven
Ok, forgiven (a bit)!
Only a bit, well I'll have to try harder next week lol "
Sister Lisa and I shall look forward to it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I delivered my friends cold coffee because I was too busy talking to a sexy bastard
I'm sorry, but I only have one choice: Unforgiven... repent and report back
Oh I won't repent
Report back anyway
I tried to wash away my sins in the shower but I ended up touching myself "
You are the gift that keeps on giving |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I delivered my friends cold coffee because I was too busy talking to a sexy bastard
I'm sorry, but I only have one choice: Unforgiven... repent and report back
Oh I won't repent
Report back anyway
I tried to wash away my sins in the shower but I ended up touching myself
You are the gift that keeps on giving "
*ahem, I mean: We'll look forward to receiving your sins (so to speak) next Sunday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I've spent a hour outside getting sweaty with a shovel and now I am inside contemplating sex. I am weak. "
To clarify, your sin is to have contemplated it rather than act on it or that you had sweaty shovel play? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Scandalous rumours
The video footage suggests otherwise...
The camera always makes things look smaller. Honest
I always thought it added "
Oh oh oh oh hi
Ahem definitely takes away inches. Lots of inches |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Scandalous rumours
The video footage suggests otherwise...
The camera always makes things look smaller. Honest
I always thought it added "
See, my child, busted |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Father O'Mally, thank you for tending to this sinful flock in my absence.
If you have any sins to confess, now is the time... "
Sins you say? No Sister, I really don't have any idea what you might be talking about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Scandalous rumours
The video footage suggests otherwise...
The camera always makes things look smaller. Honest
I always thought it added
See, my child, busted "
It's true! Hung like a hamster |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there "
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So, Fr O'Malley, what sins have you to confess?
Sister LisaB "
I think this might be an opportune moment to hand the reins back to you, Sister. Good luck, you're going to need it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me "
I've seen something of you |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I've spent a hour outside getting sweaty with a shovel and now I am inside contemplating sex. I am weak.
To clarify, your sin is to have contemplated it rather than act on it or that you had sweaty shovel play? "
I contemplated. I sinned. But I deserved the sin! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I've spent a hour outside getting sweaty with a shovel and now I am inside contemplating sex. I am weak.
To clarify, your sin is to have contemplated it rather than act on it or that you had sweaty shovel play?
I contemplated. I sinned. But I deserved the sin! "
I believe Father O'Malley should have been the judge of that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me
I've seen something of you "
No need to blush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me
I've seen something of you
No need to blush "
That was the thought of what I did |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me
I've seen something of you
No need to blush
That was the thought of what I did "
Not just once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's lying sister Lisa, he took me into the confessional box and that definitely wasn't the Holy Ghost in there
As you might say to the Holy Ghost, you've seen right through me
I've seen something of you
No need to blush
That was the thought of what I did
Not just once "
I know. Such a bad girl |
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