FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > First point of contact message!
First point of contact message!
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What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At least he didn't ask how are you, how's your day, had a nice weekend, or how's fab treating you?
He showed originality at least, even if in poor taste. |
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"One just received saying. I will pay... I mean seriously."
Yea...have had a few of them, but I just think they are sad people! But slightly more concerned by the fkwit(can I say that? lol) that sent the message in question!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a single male perspective, I take time to read all profiles top to bottom of which I send initial message too. I appreciate any requests they make "title message as..." "send facial picture" "state where you would like to meet" and always address both parties of a couple.
I send a greeting, a few compliments and like to add some light humour whilst never make demands.
But I do find myself getting lazy if I go through a spell of not replies and start sending generic copy and paste "hi how are you?"! (Totally unproductive I know) but I'd much appreciate a simple thanks but no thanks.
But I must admit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's par for the course on Fab. You have 2 options.
Accept you'll receive a number of twattish messages, which you can delete, then block the sender.
Or you can block everyone and only message the people who interest you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i nice opening message i get
if you were a washing machine, i would love to put my dirty load in
i average one a day
"
Reply "your a wet load, some i am just going to hang you out to dry"! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i nice opening message i get
if you were a washing machine, i would love to put my dirty load in
i average one a day
Reply "your a wet load, some i am just going to hang you out to dry"! "
 . *you're |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
If im guessing your words correctly i've played this fantasy as the victim and it was fun 
But to answer your thread OP i did that with a long term FWB and wouldn't even consider it with anyone i wasn't very close to let alone as a first message. So no i dont personally think you are expecting too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i nice opening message i get
if you were a washing machine, i would love to put my dirty load in
i average one a day
Reply "your a wet load, some i am just going to hang you out to dry"! "
 :-..
with some on here that would say whats adress i am on my way lol i delete |
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"At least he didn't ask how are you, how's your day, had a nice weekend, or how's fab treating you?
He showed originality at least, even if in poor taste. "
I suppose you are right about the "usual" messages, maybe I am being to picky...I am not in any way shape or forum a prude, and even expect rude/offensive messages, but that one was just in very poor taste! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
I actually had one guy as a point of contact asking me if I'd let him eat my poo! That one went too far. Most just generate eye rolls. Not much surprises me anymore. |
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much??
I actually had one guy as a point of contact asking me if I'd let him eat my poo! That one went too far. Most just generate eye rolls. Not much surprises me anymore. "
I am beginning to get like that myself(tho the message in question defo got a bee in my bonnet)....but that's NOT a good thing, when nothing surprises you anymore... where abusive/crude/vulgar/disturbing messages SHOULD surprise us! Ok, maybe not crude! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much??
I actually had one guy as a point of contact asking me if I'd let him eat my poo! That one went too far. Most just generate eye rolls. Not much surprises me anymore.
I am beginning to get like that myself(tho the message in question defo got a bee in my bonnet)....but that's NOT a good thing, when nothing surprises you anymore... where abusive/crude/vulgar/disturbing messages SHOULD surprise us! Ok, maybe not crude! lol"
I completely agree with you. It is not a good thing when you become desensitized to things. You need to worry when you reply 'ooh do go on....' . That's when it's time to come off fab |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"At least he didn't ask how are you, how's your day, had a nice weekend, or how's fab treating you?
He showed originality at least, even if in poor taste. "
This is sadly true. Dont want boring but bloody hell he went bit far the other way. |
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
No, you are not expecting too much.
A first message should be respectful. A first message should try and get you interested in the person who sent the message. A first messge should show they are interested in you as a person. A first message should be tailored to you.
For example don't send a woman a first email teling her what you would do to her if you met. Well unless she has asked fort that in her profile lol.
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
He threw his toys out of the pram because you rejectd him and told him his approach needs to be looked at. You hurt his ego. |
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much??
He threw his toys out of the pram because you rejectd him and told him his approach needs to be looked at. You hurt his ego. "
I was very polite, considering the message!  |
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much??
He threw his toys out of the pram because you rejectd him and told him his approach needs to be looked at. You hurt his ego.
I was very polite, considering the message! "
You was too polite lol. If the guy can't respect you it's their loss. |
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The first message is a tricky one, men seem to get it wrong all the time.
I think the best thing to do is for all the women on Fab to send me an opening message and I'll see what the quality is really like. As this will mean I get rather a lot of messages you'll need to make them inventive, some polite and some a little more flirty and so on.
But one thing is common - no cock shots
*waits by inbox* |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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i'd say a good majority of first messages i get are good enough lately, i just might not fancy the guy or might already be busy chatting or most likely not be able to think of an answer because the message hasn't got anything to reply to.
but (as i do get a lot of messages) i also see a lot of crap ones where the guy seems clueless that i am not providing him some sex service. he doesn't even consider that i might not even find him attractive, or might not be into him just coz he has a fetish for whatever i like. it's like these people do not understand that anything outside of themselves and their needs might be important. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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i say anything polite and interesting is good for a first message.
doesn't have to be long or detailed, and if you're actually compatible it shouldn't even take much thinking about.
have your profile as your detailed introduction and not your message. message people who it's obvious you are compatible with, not just that you think they might be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The one thing I've learnt from fab is guys really having got a fucking clue how to treat women. "
Some guys because there are some very decent polite and respectful guys on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The one thing I've learnt from fab is guys really having got a fucking clue how to treat women.
"
I'm glad I'm not the only one who had that face while reading that. What utter fuckin shite |
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
Just be polite and not too graphic on the first message for me. Even a 'hi' gets a reply. Anything that includes calling me a sissy or a slut goes straight in the bin (means they definitely haven't read my profile.) Anything too directly sexual on a first message tends to go the same way.
My all time favourite was simply
I WANT 2 FUK UR ARS.
A veritable hat trick of crudeness, caps lock abuse and 'txt spk' where it doesn't belong. |
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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Devil's advocate, your profile says no how are yous etc, so no chit chat basically, so this guy was just getting right down to business. Might be pretty extreme, but that's what he was after and let you know from the outset. |
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I think that there is a lot of misconception over what SUB & DOM mean. Obviously the OP's username states that they are a SUB... to those who don't know better, that just means that they want to be "Made to do" whatever they're told.
I often think that those on here who advertise themselves as SUB/DOM must be inundated with ill educated crap, and get very few offers of anything more balanced.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely send first messages as I have no clue what to say, so I sit here patiently by my inbox forever in hope...
Alternatively I may message in reply to a forum post that amuses me, I will always thank a person for a wink though |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"I think that there is a lot of misconception over what SUB & DOM mean. Obviously the OP's username states that they are a SUB... to those who don't know better, that just means that they want to be "Made to do" whatever they're told.
I often think that those on here who advertise themselves as SUB/DOM must be inundated with ill educated crap, and get very few offers of anything more balanced.
Cal"
i took domme off my profile pretty quick when i realised what type of people that attacts.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Devil's advocate, your profile says no how are yous etc, so no chit chat basically, so this guy was just getting right down to business. Might be pretty extreme, but that's what he was after and let you know from the outset. "
I agree with this really. If they say "hi how are you" they get slated. If they say "you have amazing boobs" they get
I expect a certain type of message. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and text.
At least if they start with the important questions they won't waste people's time if they aren't compatible.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some guys forget we are real live women not just sex craved robots.
Someone reprogram this one!
Fuzz
Pervbot rebooted (in kinky boots)"
And nothing else I hope?!
Fuzz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The one thing I've learnt from fab is guys really having got a fucking clue how to treat women. "
In my experience many guys are great and do know how to treat women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some guys forget we are real live women not just sex craved robots.
Someone reprogram this one!
Fuzz
Pervbot rebooted (in kinky boots)
And nothing else I hope?!
Fuzz"
A weird metallic smile. |
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"Do you ever have a bad day. You're a little upset, get a 'u ok?' Message, then think 'he knows I'm having a bad day', then remember most say that! "
Oh I'm a bugger for those ones if I'm having a bad day "Hi u ok?"
Then I unleash my bad day woes on them. Literally list everything that's pissing me off or upsetting me and it's starts "actually no I'm not, but since you asked ......
Then then get a full blown essay. You know full well they aren't even gonna get to the end of reading it and don't give a shit.
You asked mate, you shall receive! |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"The one thing I've learnt from fab is guys really having got a fucking clue how to treat women. "
I would be a rich man if I had a pound for every woman that has said those exact words to me at socials and in private messages .
I blame it on objectification something some guys unconsciously do when aroused it seems because I'm sure the same guys who sent the type of messages the op is talking about would be up in arms if it was guys sending there daughter sister or mother such messages over social media , |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I think that there is a lot of misconception over what SUB & DOM mean. Obviously the OP's username states that they are a SUB... to those who don't know better, that just means that they want to be "Made to do" whatever they're told.
I often think that those on here who advertise themselves as SUB/DOM must be inundated with ill educated crap, and get very few offers of anything more balanced.
Cal"
this
sadly one can expect allsorts of accusations and assumptions being made about not only your sexuality but also your personality by the uneducated masses when your honest about your sexual preference ,
but that's par for the coarse when it comes to anything that isn't biblically preached sexual practise . |
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You are a fuck dream...cheers I know
How are you? Oh free counselling
How is fab treating you?
I don't treat fab it treats me
Where is the manor? If I wanted you to know you would.
What are you into?
Writes a list of freaky shit
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By *100Man
over a year ago
Essex |
I normally look at the update status to see what their up to then comment or compliment on what they are doing and I usual get a pleasant reply, politeness will get you anywhere in life |
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"I think that there is a lot of misconception over what SUB & DOM mean. Obviously the OP's username states that they are a SUB... to those who don't know better, that just means that they want to be "Made to do" whatever they're told.
I often think that those on here who advertise themselves as SUB/DOM must be inundated with ill educated crap, and get very few offers of anything more balanced.
Cal"
Tell me about it!
"What will you do to me?" is often asked in a first message. Usually with "hun" or "babe" added... ...sigh.
Sub men are seen as sissies. The subs I meet are "high flyers": company directors, bankers, partners in law firms etc, alpha males always in control who just want to relinquish that for a moment.
The sub has the power...hardly a sissy.
I just like the forums on Fab, I use other sites to find what I'm looking for.
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?"
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen "
it's one word, google it and see if no tall men turns up in results, i think it will not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen
it's one word, google it and see if no tall men turns up in results, i think it will not."
just trying to lighten the mood  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen
it's one word, google it and see if no tall men turns up in results, i think it will not.
just trying to lighten the mood "
there's nothing funny about men, young man. *insert dominatrix emoji here* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen
it's one word, google it and see if no tall men turns up in results, i think it will not.
just trying to lighten the mood
there's nothing funny about men, young man. *insert dominatrix emoji here*"
*insert bitten off more than he can chew emoji* |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
That is Height Descrimination:
#NoTallMen
it's one word, google it and see if no tall men turns up in results, i think it will not.
just trying to lighten the mood
there's nothing funny about men, young man. *insert dominatrix emoji here*
*insert bitten off more than he can chew emoji* "
haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is no correct first contact message. It's a lottery..."
This. You may send a message to woman and she thinks it is brilliant. However send the same message to 50 other women and they may think it is shit.
Your message should be based around the persons/couples profile. Therefore every message youy send should be unique.
Before sending messages make sure your profile is good. A lot of women and couples have said before opening a message they receive they look at the senders profile. If they don't like the profile the message gets deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that there is a lot of misconception over what SUB & DOM mean. Obviously the OP's username states that they are a SUB... to those who don't know better, that just means that they want to be "Made to do" whatever they're told.
I often think that those on here who advertise themselves as SUB/DOM must be inundated with ill educated crap, and get very few offers of anything more balanced.
Cal
i took domme off my profile pretty quick when i realised what type of people that attacts. "
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i nice opening message i get
if you were a washing machine, i would love to put my dirty load in
i average one a day
"
Maybe it was the same guy who messaged that identical intro to me too! What class! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?"
I agree it's the majority. Not just 'some'. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
RXXE that's a crosfitt term.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?"
I didn't say some and I certainly didn't say all. This is my experience, not everyone else's. Others, of course will have different experiences with men to me, but I simply cannot comment as I haven't experienced it yet. My opinion still stands and even more true for 'some' men in the vanilla world.
Yes I may be choosing the wrong type of guys but I am new to doing this on my own. I hope with more experience brings knowledge.
In my experience the guys I have spoken to haven't been quite on the mark when trying to understand what it is I want from fab.
My point was proven this weekend when out trying to enjoy myself and minding my own business. A number of guys touched me when it was clearly not wanted. The way they spoke to me made me throw up a little in my mouth.
A small number of males from previous meets have become more and more demanding and wanting to meet me within the hour. When I turn them down I get nothing but shit. (Yes I have blocked them)
All of this (and other personal reasons) have made me come to the conclusion that right now (apart from the few exceptions ) I will no longer meet single men.
So to conclude my original statement. I didn't say ALL as I haven't spoken to ALL men on fab. I'm not likely to either.
Peace out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've just been wished "Happy birthday" followed by a very long description of what he'd give me as a present.
My birthday is in April
 "
Happy birthday! |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I've just been wished "Happy birthday" followed by a very long description of what he'd give me as a present.
My birthday is in April
Happy birthday! "
At least got it in early lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?"
Yes because its not all men is it. In fact i find most men are great and the very opposite so i will say that whenever possible. Also im married to a man who treats women (and me especially) in a great way and never treats women in a bad way so i will defend him and others like him. Male bashing is so frequent on here when in reality its not ALL men. I am a woman who is part of a couple who meets men and most guys are great and respectful and fun even if they dont match what we are looking for. |
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"notice one comment has been picked up on in particular.
if someone doesn't think to say 'some' guys instead of all guys, this means a good majority of guys are doing it and so she doesn't really think about the few that don't.
is not #notallmen really needed every time someone speaks about the majority of men?
Yes because its not all men is it. In fact i find most men are great and the very opposite so i will say that whenever possible. Also im married to a man who treats women (and me especially) in a great way and never treats women in a bad way so i will defend him and others like him. Male bashing is so frequent on here when in reality its not ALL men. I am a woman who is part of a couple who meets men and most guys are great and respectful and fun even if they dont match what we are looking for."
exactly the same for me |
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"
My birthday is in April
Happy birthday!
Have a merry x-mass"
Thanks folks
My blunt reply was "it's not my birthday"
His was "oh I'm sorry, I could have sworn it was"
Obviously there's nothing on profiles that shows when out birthdays are, I have to applaud his ingenuity at an attempt to garner a response.
If he hadn't included some of the degrading acts, he may not have got blocked
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is "ok" in your eyes as a first point of contact message? Guys seem to think its ok to send ANYTHING! One I just got "Are you into rxxe(cant post that word) fantasy?" My, and I thought quite polite, reply was "I think you need to work on your first point of contact message" To which I basically got a "fuck you" reply too! Am I expecting too much?? "
We are happy with a "hi, saw your profile check ours, if you like it get in touch" type message, no real need to say anymore????
If we like it, we'll get in touch! |
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