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Is revenge best served cold?
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
As many of you know, I moved to a new camp last year after what can only be described as the year from hell at my old base.
It took a Brigadier and a Colonel to arrange my move as my boss at the time refused to release me. I'd been bullied, humiliated, berated and put upon. Jason had to put up with me being depressed and there were alot of tears shed.
I moved, and I love my job. My boss is fantastic, I have a CV that has progressed beyond belief, I love all my boys, I have responsibility and although I am overworked, I don't moan about it.......... I love it.
In the shops today, I saw someone from my old base looking like crap. As she was the principal bully, I didn't think she would speak to me, but she did and I took great delight in telling her how happy I was, how I'm up for a major promotion, how much I'm doing and the fact that I have my own, fabulous, office and Officers who take me with them to all sorts of places and who show that they really do appreciate me.
I left her looking fairly dejected and with her imploring me to find her a job at my base because she is in trouble for being a total waste of space........ to which my reply was..... "But L**y, you'd actually have to do some work and you wouldn't be able to spend all day on your phone."
I left her virtually in tears, I turned on my heels and left the shop singing.
The feelings of elation are over whelming and I have a disgusting, self satisfied grin over my chops.
It's taken me a year to shove my happiness in someones face so, am I just being mean, or is revenge really a dish best served cold? |
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Some call it mean some call it shove it in her face... Some may say that you turned to tables on the bully. I was recently subjected to a bit of a hate campaign at work by an ex collegue who decided that after she left would report me for a comment I put on facebook 4 months after it happened, Not only did I have to face a disaplinary hearing which turned out no further action will be taken but I had to wait months for the outsome.
Karma is a funny thing but I think one day the woman in question will see the error of her ways. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
mean.... if she goes out and throws herself in front of a bus...she may be so low. Extreme I know...., but at least she spoke to you x
I was once treated like shit by a manager, I transferred... and exactly 4 years later, I came back as this guys boss...
I saw only 1 option... show him what great management looked like..... and I did.
That felt much better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say that that was serving revenge. More a case of poetic justice or karma catching up with them?
But regardless, whilst I wouldn;t go out of my way to get revenge on people, having been bullied at work I know that I too would love to see one of them and know they were having a shit time while able to tell them how well I was doing.
I'd be grinning for sometime in your position right now! |
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"mean.... if she goes out and throws herself in front of a bus...she may be so low. Extreme I know...., but at least she spoke to you x
I was once treated like shit by a manager, I transferred... and exactly 4 years later, I came back as this guys boss...
I saw only 1 option... show him what great management looked like..... and I did.
That felt much better. "
To be honest, I do feel a bit mean but then I've realised that the only reason she spoke to me was to see if I'd help her to get a job a where I work.....
As the poster above said, I've already shown her really, by getting out and getting on.
Oh well........ what goes round, comes round |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it takes alot of strength to recover from bullying. i was bullied at school and it still haunts me to this day. I am finally getting my confidence back in myself with the help from all he nice people on here.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 good on you ... hubby moved from our old job where we got hassle ect and now in a much better job
last week i saw that a few of them got made to work 4 days 24/4 so cudnt go off base made me smile |
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"it takes alot of strength to recover from bullying. i was bullied at school and it still haunts me to this day. I am finally getting my confidence back in myself with the help from all he nice people on here.. "
I was bullied at school over my weight then in the 4th year I was beaten up at school and did not return for a year my school work was brought to my house. I then developed an eating disorder and went down to about 8 stone at 6ft I looked awful.
I get comments now about the way I look and the memories come flooding back. Its upsets me and have become a sensitive person that sometimes takes things too personally and that is a trait one I don't want but one that was created out of bullying.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't say that that was serving revenge. More a case of poetic justice or karma catching up with them?
But regardless, whilst I wouldn;t go out of my way to get revenge on people, I too would love to see they were having a shit time while able to tell them how well I was doing.
I'd be grinning for sometime in your position right now!"
*Nods in agreement* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I`ll be honest..when I was younger I would have felt it was ok to rub her nose in it ...
Today I`d think t`was mean....a petty indulgence, that really didn`t seperate me from her...
F |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"it takes alot of strength to recover from bullying. i was bullied at school and it still haunts me to this day. I am finally getting my confidence back in myself with the help from all he nice people on here.. "
me too.... and 35 years later I still feel it. I look at the bullys now and smile... I truly hold no malice,,
I was artistic, camp and dressed different and a very easy target... but I can hold my head high, I never changed, I never compromised my look, my passion for individuality... I vowed then I would celebrate difference and I have.
It helped me become a great people manager... so in a way I thank them, I build a fantastic career and I enjoy the rewards.
When I see them today, I smile. Why... They didn't win................. |
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"mean.... if she goes out and throws herself in front of a bus...she may be so low. Extreme I know...., but at least she spoke to you x
I was once treated like shit by a manager, I transferred... and exactly 4 years later, I came back as this guys boss...
I saw only 1 option... show him what great management looked like..... and I did.
That felt much better. "
+++ to infinity.
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"I`ll be honest..when I was younger I would have felt it was ok to rub her nose in it ...
Today I`d think t`was mean....a petty indulgence, that really didn`t seperate me from her...
F"
I know.
But the feeling of 'you bullied me and you made my life a misery, but just look at me now' was just over whelming.
I'll flog myself with birch sticks later for being a rotten old trout.  |
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"
It helped me become a great people manager... so in a way I thank them, I build a fantastic career and I enjoy the rewards.
When I see them today, I smile. Why... They didn't win................."
Do you know something......... after todays 'episode' I'm going to remember what you've said View and take that with me as I progress up the career ladder.
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I`ll be honest..when I was younger I would have felt it was ok to rub her nose in it ...
Today I`d think t`was mean....a petty indulgence, that really didn`t seperate me from her...
F
I know.
But the feeling of 'you bullied me and you made my life a misery, but just look at me now' was just over whelming.
I'll flog myself with birch sticks later for being a rotten old trout. "
Its afterwards when our conscience can be our guide...least yer honest with yerself..
Some things can be rectified...takes courage and two people could grow..
I never suffered from bullies so mayhaps I don`t fully understand the dynamics..
I like yer honesty..its human to fuck up.. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
It helped me become a great people manager... so in a way I thank them, I build a fantastic career and I enjoy the rewards.
When I see them today, I smile. Why... They didn't win.................
Do you know something......... after todays 'episode' I'm going to remember what you've said View and take that with me as I progress up the career ladder.
Thank you"
and I promise you, it works... it gives you a second sense into how people are feeling, you know if something is wrong.. and being able to proactively speak to it.. opens a door that maybe someone would take time to open. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the risk of being reincarnated as a squashed fly.
There are one or two people in my life that spit on my serenity and ruffle up my happy aura..... and I'm going to get them. |
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Madchick I would have done exactly the same as you if I had met someone treating me like this your moving on and moving up. I wouldn't call what you did as revenge you did nothing malicious to this person just showed them the error of their ways.
Good for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you'd gone out of your way to put something elaborate into place or said something really mean then perhaps you'd be right to feel like you'd been unfair. But a comment that was presumably entirely true, well it's just pointing out a fact isn't it? And if she doesn't like that, perhaps she should do more work! |
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"If you'd gone out of your way to put something elaborate into place or said something really mean then perhaps you'd be right to feel like you'd been unfair. But a comment that was presumably entirely true, well it's just pointing out a fact isn't it? And if she doesn't like that, perhaps she should do more work!"
i have to agree,it wasnt revenge,just honesty.If she felt crap cos of how well you are doing,what were you meant to do... lie? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you'd gone out of your way to put something elaborate into place or said something really mean then perhaps you'd be right to feel like you'd been unfair. But a comment that was presumably entirely true, well it's just pointing out a fact isn't it? And if she doesn't like that, perhaps she should do more work!
i have to agree,it wasnt revenge,just honesty.If she felt crap cos of how well you are doing,what were you meant to do... lie? "
"Ooh yes you'd be great, we need someone who's surgically attached to their phone it's just what we're missing"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you'd gone out of your way to put something elaborate into place or said something really mean then perhaps you'd be right to feel like you'd been unfair. But a comment that was presumably entirely true, well it's just pointing out a fact isn't it? And if she doesn't like that, perhaps she should do more work!
i have to agree,it wasnt revenge,just honesty.If she felt crap cos of how well you are doing,what were you meant to do... lie?
"Ooh yes you'd be great, we need someone who's surgically attached to their phone it's just what we're missing" "
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"If you'd gone out of your way to put something elaborate into place or said something really mean then perhaps you'd be right to feel like you'd been unfair. But a comment that was presumably entirely true, well it's just pointing out a fact isn't it? And if she doesn't like that, perhaps she should do more work!
i have to agree,it wasnt revenge,just honesty.If she felt crap cos of how well you are doing,what were you meant to do... lie? "
As you know exactly where I work and what I do.............you understand how I feel about mobiles at work and their over use. To be fair, I'm suprised her fingers don't have callouses......... We did look at her usage over a week, she averaged over 200 texts (sent and received) per DAY.
""Ooh yes you'd be great, we need someone who's surgically attached to their phone it's just what we're missing" "
I do wish I'd used that line......... but I must not be mean.... bad maddie, bad maddie  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Revenge should always be served in the manner you choose. If someone deserves it then make sure they feel the pain or discomfort i always think. Some are just not worth it though so tell them what you think and walk off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At my last place of work, my boss informed me about the need to be more approachable, especially to those who were in more senior positions, to yield to their needs and wants, to listen more to their often less than inspiring ideas etc...
This was said during my yearly appraisal 7 months after my late partner's sudden death.
He went on to say he appreciated I had less time and therefore less patience when dealing with the so called movers and shakers, as I had to scale back my unpaid hours due to changes in personal circumstances, like keeping my late partner's dog as my own.
He admitted he should have supported and stood up for me more. 
4 months later, the company decided to close the plant, giving the employees over 2 years of notice.
Initially I was going to stay till the end, as I knew my boss would appreciate all the help he could get.
Then I thought better of it, and decided to leave, as I no longer felt my efforts were being appreciated.
I have heard about the hardships my ex-boss, peers and reportees had to face since my departure; especially my ex-boss, and I do not feel at all guilty about leaving him high and dry.
I am a strong believer of what goes round comes around. So those who had been mean to me should better watch their backs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres never a truer saying than "what goes around, comes around".
People normally trip themselves up eventually."
Totally..;-)
My favourite Buddist wisdom:
If you wait patiently on the river bank... eventually you will see the corpses of your enemies floating past...
She floated... You were there to see...
Karma... ;-);-) |
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"you turned into her now your the bully not nice feeling is it"
Had I turned into her, I'd have ignored her, spread malicious rumours about her, hidden her work to make it look like I was a dimwit, ridiculed her behind her back to her superiors, organised nights out without inviting her, made my work colleagues chose 'sides' and generally made her working life an absolute misery.
As it was, I told her the truth after listening to her whinging and moaning (and yes, I made all the right sympathy noises).
The only thing I am guilty of is not walking away and being the bigger person.
As it was............... fuck, it felt good to put a year of pure misery in its place.
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