FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Revenge is a dish best served cold....
Revenge is a dish best served cold....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Don't know what it is... I would not let it brew... Get him a drink and invite an apology  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics"
I like the subtlety of both! 
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics
I like the subtlety of both!
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying... "
I'd thank you for this, I love gravy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics
I like the subtlety of both!
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying...
I'd thank you for this, I love gravy"
Gravy with milk and two sugars though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics
I like the subtlety of both!
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying...
I'd thank you for this, I love gravy
Gravy with milk and two sugars though? "
Valid point |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I'd take in cupcakes tomorrow, make them a brew and then say "we seem to have had a bad week... shall we start again Monday?" Revenge is wasteful negativity. The majority of people would find it really hard to be horrible to someone who is actively nice to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics
I like the subtlety of both!
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying...
I'd thank you for this, I love gravy
Gravy with milk and two sugars though? "
Drawing pin in his gravy with two sugars: there's an idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd take in cupcakes tomorrow, make them a brew and then say "we seem to have had a bad week... shall we start again Monday?" Revenge is wasteful negativity. The majority of people would find it really hard to be horrible to someone who is actively nice to them."
Don't listen to this snowflake!
Revenge is necessary and therapeutic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd take in cupcakes tomorrow, make them a brew and then say "we seem to have had a bad week... shall we start again Monday?" Revenge is wasteful negativity. The majority of people would find it really hard to be horrible to someone who is actively nice to them."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are lovely. He's gone way beyond that. This is Acas-level unpleasantness."
All the better for reserving your legal position... Fimsicality might work against you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd take in cupcakes tomorrow, make them a brew and then say "we seem to have had a bad week... shall we start again Monday?" Revenge is wasteful negativity. The majority of people would find it really hard to be horrible to someone who is actively nice to them."
Great idea |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get him a glass of orange juice and mix a good dollop of lactulose in it as well
He’ll never know until it hits him later!"
I'd have to usurp his PA for this, but I'd love to see him sweat! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are lovely. He's gone way beyond that. This is Acas-level unpleasantness.
All the better for reserving your legal position... Fimsicality might work against you "
This thread is purely for therapy and to lighten my dark mood. I'm not so masochistic that I'd worsen my professional position. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are lovely. He's gone way beyond that. This is Acas-level unpleasantness.
All the better for reserving your legal position... Fimsicality might work against you
This thread is purely for therapy and to lighten my dark mood. I'm not so masochistic that I'd worsen my professional position. "
Then you have wasted my time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are lovely. He's gone way beyond that. This is Acas-level unpleasantness.
All the better for reserving your legal position... Fimsicality might work against you
This thread is purely for therapy and to lighten my dark mood. I'm not so masochistic that I'd worsen my professional position.
Then you have wasted my time "
But you made me giggle, so consider your contribution worthwhile! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stink palm
Is this when you fart in your hand throw it at them?
It's a Mallrats thing. Just make sure you have chocolate pretzels "
Why i love kevin smith |
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Personally i like to confront people head on and ask what the problem is, can we resolve it like adults? If not then stay out of my way. You do and ill do me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slam his cock in the photocopier, whilst he cries salty tears of woe set it to reduce 50%, blitz the print button, and then throw copies around the office replete with a mocking cackle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Be sickeningly sweet to him/her ... Nothing pisses them off more than that
*Here speaks the voice of experience on this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
Personally i like to confront people head on and ask what the problem is, can we resolve it like adults? If not then stay out of my way. You do and ill do me "
Oh. Yes. Or alternatively you could do that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Slam his cock in the photocopier, whilst he cries salty tears of woe set it to reduce 50%, blitz the print button, and then throw copies around the office replete with a mocking cackle "
love this! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
Personally i like to confront people head on and ask what the problem is, can we resolve it like adults? If not then stay out of my way. You do and ill do me "
Tried this. Didn't work. |
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I think the best revenge, if you need any, is to treat yourself, so that you're nourished and stronger as an individual - as well as outside of someone else's circle of hate etc.
As compelling as getting back at somebody else, potentially to hurt them, as they've been hurting us, I don't think it's good for us as people, as it perpetuates the myth that doing harm and hurting others is the right thing for us all to do.
Keep yourself as safe as possible and improve your wellbeing as much as you can. Surround yourself with great people who will uplift you. |
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Like all bully sorts. They not interested in sensible conversation. They are generally miserable and get enjoyment from riling others. Best thing to do is demonstrate zero f given .
They will carry on so long as they provoke a reaction . Douchebags everywhere sadly  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like all bully sorts. They not interested in sensible conversation. They are generally miserable and get enjoyment from riling others. Best thing to do is demonstrate zero f given .
They will carry on so long as they provoke a reaction . Douchebags everywhere sadly "
He wins the douchebag trophy. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"
This thread is purely for therapy and to lighten my dark mood. I'm not so masochistic that I'd worsen my professional position. "
As this is the case and the drawing pin (although a sowing needle is harder to see) / laxative has already been mentioned along with try talk it through.
Think it was Ctl alt arrow down = upside down computer screen.
The obvious tape over computer mouse optical eye, plus then remove plug (if wired) from computer or swap with nearest computer.
Loosen power lead so only just connecting.
Double sided strong tape to draws.
Ink toner to phone ear piece and underneath the desk edge.
Move keys about on the computer.
Ask a friend to post a large ish box with a return address for the nearest adult cinema.
Disclaimer, some or all of the above are rather childish and could involve a smile on your face which could cause your face to say I'm guilty, it was me.
Take notes, times, dates of any incidents, etc.
Good luck op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Spice up their sandwiches *cough* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
This thread is purely for therapy and to lighten my dark mood. I'm not so masochistic that I'd worsen my professional position.
As this is the case and the drawing pin (although a sowing needle is harder to see) / laxative has already been mentioned along with try talk it through.
Think it was Ctl alt arrow down = upside down computer screen.
The obvious tape over computer mouse optical eye, plus then remove plug (if wired) from computer or swap with nearest computer.
Loosen power lead so only just connecting.
Double sided strong tape to draws.
Ink toner to phone ear piece and underneath the desk edge.
Move keys about on the computer.
Ask a friend to post a large ish box with a return address for the nearest adult cinema.
Disclaimer, some or all of the above are rather childish and could involve a smile on your face which could cause your face to say I'm guilty, it was me.
Take notes, times, dates of any incidents, etc.
Good luck op "
Comprehensively creative!
Thanks.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alternatively slit a small hole in the lining of his office chair and stuff a few king prawns in it. Give it a week and his area will stink like a cheesy bell end. Just lace this with a few suggestions like "jeez does someone around here have halitosis?" and soon everyone will think it's him |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Do you and i work together? Ive had exactly the same this week...and i am so gonna try soms of these! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d leave them be. It’s been my past experience that when folk are being cunts in work then there is usually shit going on at home.
That doesn’t excuse them being cunts. But you know they’re being cuntish and deep down they’re probably aware they are too.
Rise above it, with dignity. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Alternatively slit a small hole in the lining of his office chair and stuff a few king prawns in it. Give it a week and his area will stink like a cheesy bell end. Just lace this with a few suggestions like "jeez does someone around here have halitosis?" and soon everyone will think it's him "
Something similar actually happened last week!! Haddock next to a heating pipe.... I promise, it wasn't me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Order a bouquet of flowers to yourself, to be delivered to the office when it's busy, containing a heartfelt apology from him to you.
Do it anonymously online- it will be impossible to trace back to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On second thoughts, ignore my above advice, knowing the snowflakes of today, someone would complain..."
I don't think it's being a snowflake to complain about physical violence, watch what you post on the forum |
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
Personally i like to confront people head on and ask what the problem is, can we resolve it like adults? If not then stay out of my way. You do and ill do me
Tried this. Didn't work.
So at least they are aware you know that this person has issues with you, make it clear that your not into playing silly school playground games but if it Carries on then settle it old school and follow them into the bathroom and smash their face in lol, problem solved bully sorted. Just make sure there's no witnesses  "
Jeez...check out Carlin over here...
"BACK GRASS!!"
(reference for those that don't get it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HDPO9UG_CY4) |
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"On second thoughts, ignore my above advice, knowing the snowflakes of today, someone would complain...
I don't think it's being a snowflake to complain about physical violence, watch what you post on the forum "
He started it, I finished it.
Don't see a problem with that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
You're a sexy individual and his a guy. Making him want what he will not get... your famouse home cooked meals  |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Take his mother, send him a piece of her in the post every day.
Or
Drawing pin on his chair
Both are timeless classics
I like the subtlety of both!
I fight a daily temptation to swap my managers coffee for gravy granules...think it would feel very satisfying... "
A better one is to phase in decaff for a few weeks then make a switch to super strength espresso...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember when I found porn mags in a tool box in my ex's bedroom whilst he was at work. I set fire to them out the back and replaced them with pages of men in pants from the freemans catalog. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just let people know that talking about any physical violence you have done in your life or intend to do to people is not allowed on the forum
Thanks"
You’re having a busy morning ruggers !
I, for one am glad you’re around to keep us all safe, keep up the good work
#appreciateamod
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember when I found porn mags in a tool box in my ex's bedroom whilst he was at work. I set fire to them out the back and replaced them with pages of men in pants from the freemans catalog. "
I’d have left the porn mags there but put on every other page a sticky note saying “you’ll go blind” “i know what you’re doing” “the next 4 pack of loo roll is on you” and see if he mentioned it
You’re more hardcore than me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You've all (well, nearly all) given me a chuckle and helped to alleviate the mood.
I'm being ultra-professional and doing my job to the best of my ability so that I have the best possible defence. Thanks, you lovely Fabsters. |
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Creed seeds in his keyboard
Tape over the sensor on his mouse
Post it note his entire desk
Or failing this...
A Chewbacca Roar Contest
1: Circulate a flier announcing a fake “Chewbacca Roar Contest” in your office. The more fliers the better!
2: Put his works desk phone number as the “Official Contest Number.”
3: Watch as Chewie calls flood in.
Ss  |
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"Creed seeds in his keyboard
Tape over the sensor on his mouse
Post it note his entire desk
Or failing this...
A Chewbacca Roar Contest
1: Circulate a flier announcing a fake “Chewbacca Roar Contest” in your office. The more fliers the better!
2: Put his works desk phone number as the “Official Contest Number.”
3: Watch as Chewie calls flood in.
Ss "
* Cress seeds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've all (well, nearly all) given me a chuckle and helped to alleviate the mood.
I'm being ultra-professional and doing my job to the best of my ability so that I have the best possible defence. Thanks, you lovely Fabsters. "
Hugs xx
Working with crap people is shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With just he desktop on his screen do a print screen (make sure the mouse pointer is in the bottom right hand corner of the screen so it cant be seen). then paste into paint and sace as a picture. now delete all the icons off of the desk top then set the picture you created as his desktop picture.
Sit back and watch confusion rain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With just he desktop on his screen do a print screen (make sure the mouse pointer is in the bottom right hand corner of the screen so it cant be seen). then paste into paint and sace as a picture. now delete all the icons off of the desk top then set the picture you created as his desktop picture.
Sit back and watch confusion rain"
*save
Funny idea tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
So what did you do in end? |
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Many may years ago, we had a boss who was a complete idiot. Always demanding and demeaning so when he asked for a sandwich he got an extra special one! We never realised how good bread is at cleaning a toilet bowl rim, especially in the men’s toilets!! 
Karma my friend! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
So what did you do in end?"
I waited patiently for him to wreck his own career, which he's done. He was fired last week.
I'm conflicted about how I feel as he has a wife and children. But for him.... no pity whatsoever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
So what did you do in end?
I waited patiently for him to wreck his own career, which he's done. He was fired last week.
I'm conflicted about how I feel as he has a wife and children. But for him.... no pity whatsoever. "
Karma has a way of sorting things
Some people will ha- ng themselves with their own rope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Extra hot chilli in their sandwhich.
Laxatives in their drink.
They teach for the laxatives to counteract the chilli.
I don’t recommend this by the way I have heard of others doing it in the past.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
So what did you do in end?
I waited patiently for him to wreck his own career, which he's done. He was fired last week.
I'm conflicted about how I feel as he has a wife and children. But for him.... no pity whatsoever.
Karma has a way of sorting things
Some people will ha- ng themselves with their own rope"
It took almost two years, but he's gone now. |
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!"
Be overly nice - counteract the animosity. Horrid people don’t know how to cope with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just walk away and move on.
Revenge just brings around more revenge and before you know it its like world war 3 and nobody needs any of that especially with things as they are for everyone right now.
If you've got the time and effort to apply it to revenge then you have both spare that you can apply to enjoying your own life instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
So what did you do in end?
I waited patiently for him to wreck his own career, which he's done. He was fired last week.
I'm conflicted about how I feel as he has a wife and children. But for him.... no pity whatsoever. "
I bet it feels good though
The only way to feel better about bullying unpleasant knobbers at work is to not have them anywhere near you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's an unpleasant individual at work who's made my week pretty damn horrid. I've considered the voodoo doll and sharp pins in the nether regions; what other ideas can you give me to restore some justice? Be as creative as you like, you Fab people!
So what did you do in end?
I waited patiently for him to wreck his own career, which he's done. He was fired last week.
I'm conflicted about how I feel as he has a wife and children. But for him.... no pity whatsoever.
I bet it feels good though
The only way to feel better about bullying unpleasant knobbers at work is to not have them anywhere near you."
True. Sadly, I had to leave first, but all my ex colleagues are thrilled that he's gone.
Two years on, I'm in a much happier place than when I started this thread. |
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