FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Who holds the power on fab
Who holds the power on fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? |
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"It is true, and then men start threads like this to make themselves feel better
Or because they like the attention "
I love it when I get a little attention, who doesn't? Women get loads on here I'm sure and I imagine most love it |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
I don't think I hold the power - it's a man's decision to meet me. I do think some women believe they hold all the cards and some men think that way too.
And yes, I meet men I wouldn't normally meet in the outside world - in so far as I wouldn't be sure if they were interested or not if I met them in a vanilla setting and this site helps to remove that question. Are they 'out of my league'? No. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guys that show interest on here are no different looks wise to the ones who show me interest off of here.
Just on here i know where we both stand and prefer it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only in the sense that an online site of any kind will automatically give you access to people you would never otherwise meet. I don't look at any interactions or relationships I have in terms of power - I prefer equality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
I see it as mutual terms. If we like each other we meet. I don't meet outside Fab for many reasons.
I've met really hot people off here that I wouldn't have had a chance to meet outside of Fab.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab isn’t all about single men meeting single women, it can be women meeting other women, plus couples and that can be MF, MM or FF. Couples meeting couples. Its not just one dimensional. |
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By *luteguyMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
Holding power over what exactly?
If you send someone a message and they don’t respond because they aren’t interested for a variety of different reasons, that’s just a normal interaction, wouldn’t be any different in real life.
Everyone has the power to choose who they interact with and who they spend time with. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
No-one on here holds any more "power" than anyone else - it's within each of us as individuals to control our own level of "success" from the site by having the right approach and expectations.
Had you asked who gets the most attention on here OP then that might have been a different matter  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree"
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic |
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"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic "
Ah my favourite kind of messages, those. I just love the sincerity!  |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic "
I don’t even reply to those type of messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic
Ah my favourite kind of messages, those. I just love the sincerity! "
You look peng and I’ve met you in person albeit briefly  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have zero power on here. I definitely can't bippity-boppity-boo any of the hotties I desire into my bed. "
I think some would disagree with you Dana! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have zero power on here. I definitely can't bippity-boppity-boo any of the hotties I desire into my bed.
I think some would disagree with you Dana! "
Dana you're hot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you believe that OP?
That sounds like you are implying that the ladies of fab can just decide that thay are gonna get who they want on a whim. And the fella doesn't get a say in it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have zero power on here. I definitely can't bippity-boppity-boo any of the hotties I desire into my bed.
I think some would disagree with you Dana!
Dana you're hot!"
Even women find you hot Dana  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic "
Those are exactly the people to avoid (for me)
Dont confuse power with standards
It’s my experience on here that men, more so than women, will focus on getting laid more than who they want to meet for said activity.
So whilst it looks like the economics of the situation fall into supply and demand, as has been pointed out - all parties have to consent to meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i don't like this question but I understand it ...
If you open up the women sarching for men or couples searching for men then you get all pages filled with men online (,very.. humbling,) but vice versa you're lucky if you get 2 pages online and there's some "power" in that. (More choice usually equals propensity to ignore and choose/set higher standards/control pace of meet).
I mean you don't get guys blocking girls and saying (single girls I'll find you)...
However I think maybe the "top" 20 ~ of men have the ability too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
In theory ladies do, simply because there's more choices available to them. Unfortunately for them it means that they have an hours and hours a day task on their hands just to wade through their rammed mailboxes and try and unearth decent meets amongst all the great wall of shite.
That's power I can well do without. Not counting ongoing conversations, I get 20 messages a day tops and whilst that isn't as many ladies/couples to choose from there's lovely females in their number that I meet regularly and have lots of fun with, without the huge chore that comes with having "power".
I'm very happy with Fab and the fun it provides, and I'd hate to be a single lady on here personally, "power" or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is true, and then men start threads like this to make themselves feel better"
The lad is bored and likes controversy. I'm sure the little lamb is harmless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is true, and then men start threads like this to make themselves feel better
The lad is bored and likes controversy. I'm sure the little lamb is harmless "
Haha thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is true, and then men start threads like this to make themselves feel better
Or because they like the attention
I love it when I get a little attention, who doesn't? Women get loads on here I'm sure and I imagine most love it"
Actually it gets boring when you get attention from guys not meeting your criteria cos all they've done is look at the "pretty pictures".
It was different when i was new to site forums, many many years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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NOT TRUE,
I still haven't had a meet yet. Apart from being played once by a no show, I have actually made the decisions not to meet as I am after something very specific. I do not struggle off of fab as I'm sure many don't. However it's clear to see that guys look at this as a place where they can easily find horny women and they are right, they will find horny women but there is a difference between horny and easy
Play your own game...make your own rules. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
They hold no power over me, I along with anyone else can say no thanks ..
only those folk who are willing to say yes when they're actually thinking no have given the other power over themselves..
Know your worth, hold onto your standards and if you're thinking no thanks say so.. |
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Women, then mostly men in a couples profile (note mostly) 
Then by age.
All due to supply and demand, don't know what the ratio is, but must be something like thousands of men hundreds of couples, some women.
But distorted as profiles can't be linked, so a couple could also have a his and hers single profile too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think I hold the power - it's a man's decision to meet me. I do think some women believe they hold all the cards and some men think that way too.
And yes, I meet men I wouldn't normally meet in the outside world - in so far as I wouldn't be sure if they were interested or not if I met them in a vanilla setting and this site helps to remove that question. Are they 'out of my league'? No."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If women hold the power the men hand it to them willingly.
Not necessarily because some women use sex as a weapon
And men have no defence against this on fab? "
Depends on how hot she is |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
Ladies will only meet on their terms if men allow it  |
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"If women hold the power the men hand it to them willingly.
Not necessarily because some women use sex as a weapon
And men have no defence against this on fab?
Depends on how hot she is "
So you hand those women the power. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If women hold the power the men hand it to them willingly.
Not necessarily because some women use sex as a weapon
And men have no defence against this on fab?
Depends on how hot she is
So you hand those women the power. "
I think I should stop thinking from my D |
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I think the man does because he can drive to your place or somewhere in his lunch break, he travels with his work so can meet lots of different people where as people with kids or husbands dont have so much free time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic
Ah my favourite kind of messages, those. I just love the sincerity! "
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"If i want to meet takes 2 to agree
It helps if the guy is saying you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe before even seeing your face pic
Ah my favourite kind of messages, those. I just love the sincerity! If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me"
Haha! Always loved that line...it's so cheesy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab?
Ladies will only meet on their terms if men allow it "
That only works if all men have standards. Remember some men will fuck anything with a pulse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
"
You do have a point  .
We should leave this sex site and find a swingers' site |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab?
Ladies will only meet on their terms if men allow it
That only works if all men have standards. Remember some men will fuck anything with a pulse"
Quite right...some women will too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
"
Maybe not that quietly, but it's a good point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
"
The OP says " is it true you hold the power and meet guys on your terms?"
Just hilarious
And says it all really |
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"I don't think I hold the power - it's a man's decision to meet me. I do think some women believe they hold all the cards and some men think that way too.
And yes, I meet men I wouldn't normally meet in the outside world - in so far as I wouldn't be sure if they were interested or not if I met them in a vanilla setting and this site helps to remove that question. Are they 'out of my league'? No."
A very considered response from a young lady I hope to sync with one day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
"
Clunky wording but don't think that's what OP said or insinuated at all  |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
No different to the real and natural world IMHO -after all, how lucky are most men when trying to find a partner in the real/ vanilla world? Most tend to let themselves down with their own Neanderthal rutting stag behaviour - no wonder women seem "picky" to these individuals - god forbid that they may be allowed to exercise a rational choice in the matter... |
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"No different to the real and natural world IMHO -after all, how lucky are most men when trying to find a partner in the real/ vanilla world? Most tend to let themselves down with their own Neanderthal rutting stag behaviour - no wonder women seem "picky" to these individuals - god forbid that they may be allowed to exercise a rational choice in the matter..."
Sometimes better to go without. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
Clunky wording but don't think that's what OP said or insinuated at all "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Easy way to know is have a woman and a man write the same status and see how many messages they get. The status should simply say “looking to meet tonight”.
I wonder who would get more   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
What do you mean by ‘wouldn’t have a chance to meet ouside’? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 1st thought would be to say that women have the power because of the sheer man / woman ratio, the perception is that women can choose to meet who they want.
The reality is different, women do get rejected by the confident, secure men who know exactly what they seek and won’t settle.
So I guess it’s not gender specific, it’s more about the individual.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 1st thought would be to say that women have the power because of the sheer man / woman ratio, the perception is that women can choose to meet who they want.
The reality is different, women do get rejected by the confident, secure men who know exactly what they seek and won’t settle.
So I guess it’s not gender specific, it’s more about the individual.
"
Best answer yet.
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"No different to the real and natural world IMHO -after all, how lucky are most men when trying to find a partner in the real/ vanilla world? Most tend to let themselves down with their own Neanderthal rutting stag behaviour - no wonder women seem "picky" to these individuals - god forbid that they may be allowed to exercise a rational choice in the matter...
Sometimes better to go without. "
There you go exercising your free choice and all your fancy womanly wiles ...just typical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t like the idea of women holding the power. I think it’s equal as both parties have to agree so both have the option to say yes or no x "
I don't like the idea of power in relationships full stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No different to the real and natural world IMHO -after all, how lucky are most men when trying to find a partner in the real/ vanilla world? Most tend to let themselves down with their own Neanderthal rutting stag behaviour - no wonder women seem "picky" to these individuals - god forbid that they may be allowed to exercise a rational choice in the matter..."
Ain't that the truth? |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
The only power we should be discussing is the power of attraction, and that works both ways.
Since the numbers are heavily tilted to favour selection from the woman's perspective, it's to be expected that only a small minority of men won't be hurting for both interest and meets. That's called natural selection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only power we should be discussing is the power of attraction, and that works both ways.
Since the numbers are heavily tilted to favour selection from the woman's perspective, it's to be expected that only a small minority of men won't be hurting for both interest and meets. That's called natural selection."
Indeed! And these are the ones we're all scrambling to neet |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"No different to the real and natural world IMHO -after all, how lucky are most men when trying to find a partner in the real/ vanilla world? Most tend to let themselves down with their own Neanderthal rutting stag behaviour - no wonder women seem "picky" to these individuals - god forbid that they may be allowed to exercise a rational choice in the matter...
Ain't that the truth?"
Not that I haven't on occasion been guilty of said behaviour - difference is I try to learn from my mistakes not repeat them - I think my disclaimer should be "warning, subject to wild inconsistency" |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"Any man who asks to see me can apply his own terms and conditions. If he doesn't like mine-which are few-and I don't like his, we won't meet."
My, you're quite organised with your application forms and all... |
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There's about 15 men to every woman on here. . Assuming women mainly want to meet men and men mainly want to meet women then women clearly have the market power.
In the same way that in a time of high unemployment anyone offering a job has market power over those seeking the job.
It's all supply and demand. There's a product in short supply. (women offering casual sex) and high demand. (men wanting causal sex). Consequently power lies with the supplier. |
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"I don’t like the idea of women holding the power. I think it’s equal as both parties have to agree so both have the option to say yes or no x
I don't like the idea of power in relationships full stop"
Nor I but you see it all the time. I've watched the dynamic between a couple I know. One witholds money to exert power the other witholds communication to regain it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think women hold the power on here.
But that’s just because of the ratio of men to women.
I think some use it as a power trip and enjoy the “control” they have. Which is a bit ridiculous in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ming the merciless holds the ultimate power. Hail Ming!"
But others have suggested it's Mr Burns or He-Man. I'm confused now, who does hold the power, I thought it was She-Ra
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
Clunky wording but don't think that's what OP said or insinuated at all "
The OP said, and I quote 'hence you meet guys on your terms as in who, when and how!'
I think it's exactly what he insinuated, what else could you read into that statement? If you take this away from a woman you have taken away free will and surely everyone has a right that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's why i said it's really clunky, women, 9/10 will be responding not initiating, also due to safety they will be deciding where..
IMO OP is trying to wrap his head around hundreds of years of tradition/culture of courting women + the BIG fact that men 100% and unequivocally outnumber women on every site. Really is a big question about society when you think about it.
Power is such a one sided word, this is a 3 dimensional problem(/reality?)
and i don't think deciding mutually will take away ones free will.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's about 15 men to every woman on here.
Really? - I'd love to know where you get your figures from"
That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"There's about 15 men to every woman on here.
Really? - I'd love to know where you get your figures from
That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back"
Sorry, but all that tells me is how many men vs women are online at a particular point in time & nothing about how many regularly log in and engage with the site. Even if you were right at that particular point in time it tells me nothing about averages - just looking at the forum posts tells me it is nothing like a 15 to 1 ratio and if anything closer to the 50% ratio - which would suggest at least a little cognitive bias going on for a fair few members of e hard done by set on here - just because males tend to make more approaches on here does not necessarily translate to them being in the majority |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back"
Yes -I'd love to see how impartial your "thoroughly researched" methods are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any man who asks to see me can apply his own terms and conditions. If he doesn't like mine-which are few-and I don't like his, we won't meet.
My, you're quite organised with your application forms and all... "
I have to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
So true that is mate I have never been made to feel so ugly before I joined this site |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"It is true, and then men start threads like this to make themselves feel better
Or because they like the attention
I love it when I get a little attention, who doesn't? Women get loads on here I'm sure and I imagine most love it"
You imagine wrongly! Crass messages, crap profiles? People or can't read or more likely just decide to ignore everything that has been written? Yeah I love that attention |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
Clunky wording but don't think that's what OP said or insinuated at all
The OP said, and I quote 'hence you meet guys on your terms as in who, when and how!'
I think it's exactly what he insinuated, what else could you read into that statement? If you take this away from a woman you have taken away free will and surely everyone has a right that? "
I think the OP isn’t about taking away a woman’s free will, it’s insuating that some women are meeting men who wouldn’t look twice at them in the real world
Hence the ‘women hold all the power” line. For me though if that’s what he means, then more fool the men that give themselves up so easily.
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab?
So true that is mate I have never been made to feel so ugly before I joined this site "
very true and by some less than pretty females |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rolls eyes and tuts!
You mean to say OP there are some women who are on here who don't agree to meet and fuck anyone who asks ?
Omfg
Doesn't she know she is in a swingers site and men think because she is on a swingers site she is in effect giving up any right to choose who she would like to meet!
Unbelievable lol
I can't believe the cheek of us unrealistic females with all the power!
Sat quietly seething at this post.
Clunky wording but don't think that's what OP said or insinuated at all
The OP said, and I quote 'hence you meet guys on your terms as in who, when and how!'
I think it's exactly what he insinuated, what else could you read into that statement? If you take this away from a woman you have taken away free will and surely everyone has a right that?
I think the OP isn’t about taking away a woman’s free will, it’s insuating that some women are meeting men who wouldn’t look twice at them in the real world
Hence the ‘women hold all the power” line. For me though if that’s what he means, then more fool the men that give themselves up so easily.
"
in the name of nsa any holes a goal sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I certainly don't have power on here, and would never ever view it that way either. I don't have the power over men, they decide if they want to meet me.
For me when meeting it's about it all being mutual and fair when it comes to when and where.
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab?
So true that is mate I have never been made to feel so ugly before I joined this site "
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"There's about 15 men to every woman on here.
Really? - I'd love to know where you get your figures from
That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back
Sorry, but all that tells me is how many men vs women are online at a particular point in time & nothing about how many regularly log in and engage with the site. Even if you were right at that particular point in time it tells me nothing about averages - just looking at the forum posts tells me it is nothing like a 15 to 1 ratio and if anything closer to the 50% ratio - which would suggest at least a little cognitive bias going on for a fair few members of e hard done by set on here - just because males tend to make more approaches on here does not necessarily translate to them being in the majority"
We are open to messages from everyone. About 95% of our messages are from single men. |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"
We are open to messages from everyone. About 95% of our messages are from single men. "
Again all that tells me is the demographic your profile appeals to / that it is men that are most likely to make the first approach - by way of comparison, look at the forum averages and notice how many women are engaging and posting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not really sure who holds the power - probably the owners of the site i.e. it attracts lots of visitors BUT the % of people who actually meet is tiny in comparison to visitor numbers. As for single ladies - lol - just forget it - we've had one in 7 years (under various profiles) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There's about 15 men to every woman on here.
Really? - I'd love to know where you get your figures from
That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back
Sorry, but all that tells me is how many men vs women are online at a particular point in time & nothing about how many regularly log in and engage with the site. Even if you were right at that particular point in time it tells me nothing about averages - just looking at the forum posts tells me it is nothing like a 15 to 1 ratio and if anything closer to the 50% ratio - which would suggest at least a little cognitive bias going on for a fair few members of e hard done by set on here - just because males tend to make more approaches on here does not necessarily translate to them being in the majority
We are open to messages from everyone. About 95% of our messages are from single men. "
You're both way out IMHO, I'm afraid.
Looking at who is online now is flawed; men think about sex far more often of average than women, so it therefore reasonable that they will be logged in more often, giving skewed results. Also the very ratio means a certain number of men, I would guess at about 15% copy and paste carpet bomb every single female and couple within a certain radius. Whereas a lot of women do what I do and very rarely do they send out a first contact. So the stat of 95% of messages being from single chaps is also deeply flawed.
On the flip side, using the amount of people of either gender present on the forums won't give you an average result either; far from it. The forums probably wouldn't suggest even numbers anyway IMHO, about 1 woman to 3 men perhaps, but more women than men will want to interact socially in a less pressure environment to get a feel for others full stop and will also use this as a way to get a more well-rounded personal idea of what another forum user is like.
I think the only fairly accurate way of judging how many men per women are on site is to do a local search in several areas for users nearby fullstop and not just online now, and work out a mean average. I think this was done amongst forumites at a point in time a couple of years ago and the figure came out between 1 in 6 and 1 in 7. This doesn't however take into account the amount of fake profiles and bearing in mind that almost all fake profiles will be female, followed by couples (as how can a wind up merchant have much mischief with a single guys profile) I would then reason that the ratio would perhaps be in the region of 1 woman for every 8 - 9 guys or thereabouts. |
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"There's about 15 men to every woman on here.
Really? - I'd love to know where you get your figures from
That's an estimate but it's thoroughly researched that men outnumber women and if you want some proof, search men for women+couples then search women for men+couples. Count how many online now and come back
Sorry, but all that tells me is how many men vs women are online at a particular point in time & nothing about how many regularly log in and engage with the site. Even if you were right at that particular point in time it tells me nothing about averages - just looking at the forum posts tells me it is nothing like a 15 to 1 ratio and if anything closer to the 50% ratio - which would suggest at least a little cognitive bias going on for a fair few members of e hard done by set on here - just because males tend to make more approaches on here does not necessarily translate to them being in the majority
We are open to messages from everyone. About 95% of our messages are from single men.
You're both way out IMHO, I'm afraid.
Looking at who is online now is flawed; men think about sex far more often of average than women, so it therefore reasonable that they will be logged in more often, giving skewed results. Also the very ratio means a certain number of men, I would guess at about 15% copy and paste carpet bomb every single female and couple within a certain radius. Whereas a lot of women do what I do and very rarely do they send out a first contact. So the stat of 95% of messages being from single chaps is also deeply flawed.
On the flip side, using the amount of people of either gender present on the forums won't give you an average result either; far from it. The forums probably wouldn't suggest even numbers anyway IMHO, about 1 woman to 3 men perhaps, but more women than men will want to interact socially in a less pressure environment to get a feel for others full stop and will also use this as a way to get a more well-rounded personal idea of what another forum user is like.
I think the only fairly accurate way of judging how many men per women are on site is to do a local search in several areas for users nearby fullstop and not just online now, and work out a mean average. I think this was done amongst forumites at a point in time a couple of years ago and the figure came out between 1 in 6 and 1 in 7. This doesn't however take into account the amount of fake profiles and bearing in mind that almost all fake profiles will be female, followed by couples (as how can a wind up merchant have much mischief with a single guys profile) I would then reason that the ratio would perhaps be in the region of 1 woman for every 8 - 9 guys or thereabouts."
I have done what you said in the last paragraph a few times and the figures always come out at something like 75% men 20% couples 5% women. When I have publicised those findings on here, people have done similar searches in their areas and come up with similar figures.
So we have a ratio of 1 single man to 15 single women and I man to3-4 couples.
Bearing in mind many couples will not meet single men and taking into account fakes your ratio of 1 mam to 8-9 genuine couples or women willing to meet them is probably about right.. |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"On the flip side, using the amount of people of either gender present on the forums won't give you an average result either; far from it. The forums probably wouldn't suggest even numbers anyway IMHO, about 1 woman to 3 men perhaps, but more women than men will want to interact socially in a less pressure environment to get a feel for others full stop and will also use this as a way to get a more well-rounded personal idea of what another forum user is like.
I think the only fairly accurate way of judging how many men per women are on site is to do a local search in several areas for users nearby fullstop and not just online now, and work out a mean average. I think this was done amongst forumites at a point in time a couple of years ago and the figure came out between 1 in 6 and 1 in 7. This doesn't however take into account the amount of fake profiles and bearing in mind that almost all fake profiles will be female, followed by couples (as how can a wind up merchant have much mischief with a single guys profile) I would then reason that the ratio would perhaps be in the region of 1 woman for every 8 - 9 guys or thereabouts."
I never said the forums was an accurate reflection either -just that it does not seem to cirraborate the 15 to 1 ratio.
In terms of the general population, there is approximately a 50/50 split for single people (along gender lines) -so why would the forum conceivably be any different? |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"I think the only fairly accurate way of judging how many men per women are on site is to do a local search in several areas for users nearby fullstop and not just online now, and work out a mean average. I think this was done amongst forumites at a point in time a couple of years ago and the figure came out between 1 in 6 and 1 in 7. This doesn't however take into account the amount of fake profiles and bearing in mind that almost all fake profiles will be female, followed by couples (as how can a wind up merchant have much mischief with a single guys profile) I would then reason that the ratio would perhaps be in the region of 1 woman for every 8 - 9 guys or thereabouts."
I don't think this would work either as a lot may choose not to have their location broadcast -this is especially so for women who are fearful of their personal safety or may choose to have their profiles hidden |
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"Ladies, Is it true that you hold the power on fab hence you meet guys on your terms as in Who, when & how? who otherwise you wouldn’t have a chance to meet/date outside fab? "
Snap . They've got the power . |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"TI have done what you said in the last paragraph a few times and the figures always come out at something like 75% men 20% couples 5% women. When I have publicised those findings on here, people have done similar searches in their areas and come up with similar figures.
So we have a ratio of 1 single man to 15 single women and I man to3-4 couples.
Bearing in mind many couples will not meet single men and taking into account fakes your ratio of 1 mam to 8-9 genuine couples or women willing to meet them is probably about right.. "
Again this in no way accounts for hidden profiles or those that choose to not share their location -until the site itself gives us a real breakdown, all user surveys are just a wild guess and bear no reflection on reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the power to choose how I act and respond on here, as do others. No one holds holds your power unless you give it to them. Even then you have chosen to give it to them so you still have the power to choose even if you aren’t aware of it. |
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"TI have done what you said in the last paragraph a few times and the figures always come out at something like 75% men 20% couples 5% women. When I have publicised those findings on here, people have done similar searches in their areas and come up with similar figures.
So we have a ratio of 1 single man to 15 single women and I man to3-4 couples.
Bearing in mind many couples will not meet single men and taking into account fakes your ratio of 1 mam to 8-9 genuine couples or women willing to meet them is probably about right..
Again this in no way accounts for hidden profiles or those that choose to not share their location -until the site itself gives us a real breakdown, all user surveys are just a wild guess and bear no reflection on reality."
Obviously, it's not 100% accurate, but it's not a wild guess either. |
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