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Reticence
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Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today"
Quite outspoken sometimes I have to filter though as I could set off a lot of triggers. Nothing said on here affects me. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
I frequently type a post out and then delete it incase it gets taken the wrong way or if what I’m saying has already been said ten different ways by other people.
This is my third draft of this post   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind "
Really? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bit of both!
Sometimes I write a post then delete it and think ‘ah it’s not worth it’.
Other times I’ll just post whatever I want and not give a shit. I’ll always TRY to be fair and objective (that’s always my intention) but with the written word it’s not always easy to see the ‘tone of voice’ or ‘body language’ involved so people can interpret things the wrong way.
As long as I can see things are fair I can take criticism and challenge easily and don’t get upset. But will get irked when I can see that things are said that are unfair or unjustified, and then I’ll often call it out and add my 2p worth! |
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind "
I'm much the same usually unless a serious topic resonates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
Really?"
yes sexy bum really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind "
  well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is it? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads  "
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really get involved in anything serious. I tend to just keep it light, flirty and hair flicky.
I do on occasion reconsider certain jokes that I might make, generally if I think it's too twisted then other people would think I'm a horrific human being.
This is also an awful lot of words for me to use in one post. Someone pointed out that I usually talk in seven words or less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the first to admit i sometimes step over the mark and can go to far.
Sometimes the only way is to be blunt with people.
But recently I have had messages from people saying I can be balanced and thought provoking.
I have posted about my experiences, relationships and other things so I'm fairly open to discuss some subjects.
I do guard against somethings and some topics I will not get involved in for my reasons.
But in all I feel the majority are good people and good to talk too |
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"I only post in the fun, flirty threads. Not afraid of voicing my opinion but in a message I find it's hard to convey meaning sometimes x"
So reticent in choice of threads? Is that because your preference is to keep it light or out of a fear of upsetting anyone? |
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"I frequently type a post out and then delete it incase it gets taken the wrong way or if what I’m saying has already been said ten different ways by other people.
This is my third draft of this post "
I do this quite often too... You should have seen me agonise over the wording of my original post!! |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I frequently type a post out and then delete it incase it gets taken the wrong way or if what I’m saying has already been said ten different ways by other people.
This is my third draft of this post
I do this quite often too... You should have seen me agonise over the wording of my original post!! "
I can imagine, I’d be exactly the same  |
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"I write the first thing that comes into my head. Very rarely change my mind about posting. It doesn't always go in my favour x"
Brave. Well done you! How do you feel if it doesn't go in your favour? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for me. A lot of threads now,i have no interest in. Same old ones. But every now and again a juicy one pops up and i think yes. Something to get teeth into . Lexi |
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"I only post in the fun, flirty threads. Not afraid of voicing my opinion but in a message I find it's hard to convey meaning sometimes x
So reticent in choice of threads? Is that because your preference is to keep it light or out of a fear of upsetting anyone? "
Used to post in a lot of other threads but my meaning in a message was often misunderstood. I have strong opinions but dislike upsetting people anyway, love a good debate but mood and tone can't be felt in a message. I prefer to have no drama in here, have enough IRL. Now I stick to the light hearted ones x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will only add to a post if I have an honest opinion or think I can add something to it. When on previously I had several 'altercations' with posters because our views differed.
There are so many threads on here that are now boring and repetitive that I won't even bother looking at them, let alone comment.
Too many sycophants too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today"
I often delete then ignore someone rather than respond and its happening more and more you can see what is happening on here at times people bait then aim to take things out of context to orchestrate an attack on someone which is sad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is it? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hold back a lot
Really? You've always struck me as someone quite confident and I find a lot of the topics you raise quite fresh. "
Ah, thank you! And yes, I do. I can get really passionate about some topics and I really need to hold back, or I’ll jusy get myself wound up and annoyed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get bored half way through typing a paragraph and delete it.
"
Hehe. This is also me. I think oh f@#k it. Probably be ignored anyway. Also noticed men reply to me a lot more than women do  . Lexi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will only add to a post if I have an honest opinion or think I can add something to it. When on previously I had several 'altercations' with posters because our views differed.
There are so many threads on here that are now boring and repetitive that I won't even bother looking at them, let alone comment.
Too many sycophants too."
^^^^^^^  |
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"A bit of both!
Sometimes I write a post then delete it and think ‘ah it’s not worth it’.
Other times I’ll just post whatever I want and not give a shit. I’ll always TRY to be fair and objective (that’s always my intention) but with the written word it’s not always easy to see the ‘tone of voice’ or ‘body language’ involved so people can interpret things the wrong way.
As long as I can see things are fair I can take criticism and challenge easily and don’t get upset. But will get irked when I can see that things are said that are unfair or unjustified, and then I’ll often call it out and add my 2p worth! "
You've pretty much confirmed my own opinion of you. I enjoy your posts and comments. There are people who's threads I gravitate towards.. You're one of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get bored half way through typing a paragraph and delete it.
"
yes I do that sometimes, not bored though I'm never bored, just the thought that made me start typing goes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I write the first thing that comes into my head. Very rarely change my mind about posting. It doesn't always go in my favour x
Brave. Well done you! How do you feel if it doesn't go in your favour?"
I sometimes forget it's not group chat I'm on and forget people might not want me to be that honest or my opinion at all. I'm also blunt which not every one appreciates. It's often taken the wrong way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I regularly start typing passionately, only to stop and think, can I be bothered to get drawn into a debate I've read numerous times on the forums.
I'm not afraid to express my opinion regardless of its popularity. |
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"My mood dictates how I post most days. A bit of everything you've said there OP.
I'll try and stay light hearted where possible. A wee bit of mischievousness can creep in on the odd occasion too but there are also times that I find I am frustrated at many things I read on here and will spend an age typing out an essay in reply... only to delete it after taking a deep breath   "
Summed it up pretty well there... I see a lot of myself in what you've just said. |
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums! "
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be "
I want a forum without mods  |
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"I don't really get involved in anything serious. I tend to just keep it light, flirty and hair flicky.
I do on occasion reconsider certain jokes that I might make, generally if I think it's too twisted then other people would think I'm a horrific human being.
This is also an awful lot of words for me to use in one post. Someone pointed out that I usually talk in seven words or less."
I doubt you could be horrific if you tried Goldilocks 
I appreciate your lack of reticence with me |
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"I'm the first to admit i sometimes step over the mark and can go to far.
Sometimes the only way is to be blunt with people.
But recently I have had messages from people saying I can be balanced and thought provoking.
I have posted about my experiences, relationships and other things so I'm fairly open to discuss some subjects.
I do guard against somethings and some topics I will not get involved in for my reasons.
But in all I feel the majority are good people and good to talk too"
I can understand that. I've seen topics on here that cut a little too close to home for me and I'll simply leave the thread without commenting. Some things can be cathartic, others can be like opening old wounds. |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"Oh, I'm very shy and seldom speak my mind
Why so shy?
Hint: check my green arrow
Dear God man... You've almost killed as many threads as I have!!! should we form a club??? "
Shhh -i'm supposed to be undercover |
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"I am forever typing things and deleting them. "
Snap! Sometimes it's because I've had second thoughts. Other times it because I'm having a busy day and I know I won't have the time to respond properly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really get involved in anything serious. I tend to just keep it light, flirty and hair flicky.
I do on occasion reconsider certain jokes that I might make, generally if I think it's too twisted then other people would think I'm a horrific human being.
This is also an awful lot of words for me to use in one post. Someone pointed out that I usually talk in seven words or less.
I doubt you could be horrific if you tried Goldilocks
I appreciate your lack of reticence with me "
You'd be surprised. I have a really twisted sense of humour. However, I do also know my audience. I'll say things to my friends that I wouldn't say on here because it's all on the understanding that I'm not really like that or I don't really think that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am forever typing things and deleting them.
Snap! Sometimes it's because I've had second thoughts. Other times it because I'm having a busy day and I know I won't have the time to respond properly "
Almost didn't bother posting this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be I want a forum without mods "
Would just be thread full of slanging matches. |
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"I get bored half way through typing a paragraph and delete it.
"
I've done that too... In fact I think a comment I was about to post on a thread bored me so much one night that it inspired me to do the Yawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnn thread instead |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be I want a forum without mods
Would just be thread full of slanging matches. "
Yeah and how fun would that be |
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"I will only add to a post if I have an honest opinion or think I can add something to it. When on previously I had several 'altercations' with posters because our views differed.
There are so many threads on here that are now boring and repetitive that I won't even bother looking at them, let alone comment.
Too many sycophants too."
It can be a bit samey... And I know this thread is in itself far from original. I find myself title-hopping to see if anything stands out or looks like fun, and obviously certain people's posts I'll find more interesting than others, because of similar interests or sense of humour |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
Recently (fuck, for some time) I've not really seen the point in posting on any particularly "controversial" threads - I think it got to the point where my narrative was being told to me and it's the same few outspoken voices arguing the same things over and over again about the same topics. Besides, I'm enjoying keeping it fairly light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be I want a forum without mods
Would just be thread full of slanging matches. "
many threads are and I've noticed you get embroiled to sometimes |
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"I often delete then ignore someone rather than respond and its happening more and more you can see what is happening on here at times people bait then aim to take things out of context to orchestrate an attack on someone which is sad. "
I mentioned to a friend last night that I was finding the forums quite aggressive recently. I'm hoping it's just a temporary phenomenon. I'd like to think that if and when I'm ready to meet again, it'll be with a smile and not ducking from missiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do pick and choose the threads I post in, I try and keep it lighthearted and fun. Some are very close to home so I scroll past, and some have me rolling my eyes. Occasionally there’s one I would love to give my opinion on but would mean putting myself up to be judged and no one can say what they would do in my situation unless they have been through it. So yes I’m reticent x |
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By *rallvalCouple
over a year ago
Dunfermline |
I usually avoid any confrontation online as I had a bad case of cyberstalking in the 90s.
There are a lot of nutters out there, most are simply keyboard warriors but some will hunt you down and email you photos of your kids. I have been cyber paranoid ever since.
I have a few red buttons, usually someone spouting off rubbish in an area where I have some professional expertise
I have to restrain myself because I can easily prove things but that would mean outing myself by posting my credentials. Winning an online arguement is not worth being outed and losing my source of income.
Walking away is a lot easier.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely find a thread when I feel my opinion could be controversial.
If it's a more provocative thread and someone has already said what I would then I leave it.
If not I weigh up the pros and cons of posting, if I know it will entice response I decide if I have time or energy to deal with that before I decide if I post. |
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"I write the first thing that comes into my head. Very rarely change my mind about posting. It doesn't always go in my favour x
Brave. Well done you! How do you feel if it doesn't go in your favour?
I sometimes forget it's not group chat I'm on and forget people might not want me to be that honest or my opinion at all. I'm also blunt which not every one appreciates. It's often taken the wrong way x"
Chatrooms can be worse really. Things flare up quicker and well thought out responses aren't possible, because things have moved on or escalated while you've been typing.
The way I see it is, if someone doesn't want everyone's opinion, they can always ask the people they want answers from privately. It's an open forum  |
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Usually I say what I think, however on one occasion said something that was not only said when at a low point, that was both degrading and out of character, in a supposed "banter" thread.
It left me feeling crap, fuming at letting myself down and above all, allowing something like that be associated with Mrs FGoS.
Lesson learned and never to be repeated. Shocked myself with that one  |
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" I regularly start typing passionately, only to stop and think, can I be bothered to get drawn into a debate I've read numerous times on the forums.
I'm not afraid to express my opinion regardless of its popularity."
I've done pretty much the same thing as the first part of your comment on many occasions.
I do find myself choosing my words or not giving my opinion on some issues though. Since my return to the forums (not very long ago), I've tried to stick with the lighthearted stuff... Not exactly kiss/fuck/avoid... But not politics either... Middle ground and humour... But even that backfires on occasion. |
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"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be
I want a forum without mods "
I think that would quickly become a Forum of maybe a dozen big personalities fighting for attention. An interesting social experiment though maybe? We might all be surprised. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I try to stay in the positive light hearted threads and not get drawn in, so I can't really say anything controversial but I'm not ever afraid to speak my mind
well yes, exactly! It’s not worth the drama of saying anything untowards or controversial on Fab is there? There are plenty of other sites on t’internet for that! But they are the most entertaining threads
Ha, yes thats true on the Forums for sure! But there’s more to Fab than just the forums!
No???? Really??? You don't mean people actually *hushed whisper and a quick glance round to ensure nobody is in earshot* 'meet' do you?
You're absolutely right of course. Many facets to Fab, and the Forums are just one of them. We can all pick and choose which aspects we want to use, or even take a break from, if need be
I want a forum without mods
I think that would quickly become a Forum of maybe a dozen big personalities fighting for attention. An interesting social experiment though maybe? We might all be surprised. "
You could argue that now. let's have a purge |
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"Oh, I'm very shy and seldom speak my mind
Why so shy?
Hint: check my green arrow
Dear God man... You've almost killed as many threads as I have!!! should we form a club???
Shhh -i'm supposed to be undercover"
Mum's the word
Shit... Is that PC to say? Should I have said parents or guardians?? Or caregivers?? Or... Or... Or... |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
" I regularly start typing passionately, only to stop and think, can I be bothered to get drawn into a debate I've read numerous times on the forums.
I'm not afraid to express my opinion regardless of its popularity.
I've done pretty much the same thing as the first part of your comment on many occasions.
I do find myself choosing my words or not giving my opinion on some issues though. Since my return to the forums (not very long ago), I've tried to stick with the lighthearted stuff... Not exactly kiss/fuck/avoid... But not politics either... Middle ground and humour... But even that backfires on occasion. "
Tell me about it -that's why I just say fuckit and head into the messy stuff -honestly, how much more damage can I do |
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"I don't really get involved in anything serious. I tend to just keep it light, flirty and hair flicky.
I do on occasion reconsider certain jokes that I might make, generally if I think it's too twisted then other people would think I'm a horrific human being.
This is also an awful lot of words for me to use in one post. Someone pointed out that I usually talk in seven words or less.
I doubt you could be horrific if you tried Goldilocks
I appreciate your lack of reticence with me
You'd be surprised. I have a really twisted sense of humour. However, I do also know my audience. I'll say things to my friends that I wouldn't say on here because it's all on the understanding that I'm not really like that or I don't really think that. "
Yeah... I know what you mean, people who have known you since you were the Milky Bar kid will just laugh off things that others might go and stop buying Nestlé over
Loving the Cousin It look by the way! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am usually pretty outspoken both on Fab as well as in real life. Probably one of the few people who wouldn't say stuff online that I wouldn't dare utter in person. Having said so, I don't really venture much into the forums, but when I do I just read and comment/reply accordingly.
If I see a thread or comment that I disagree with, I'm not one to shy away from a fight and I would usually come out and make my point unless someone already has done so for me. I don't set out to deliberately offend people either on the forums but if I do then I can't stop them from choosing to be offended. I'm 100% real in person as well as in real life. Straight-up banter, straight-up talk, and straight-up sex when that comes about! |
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"I am forever typing things and deleting them.
Snap! Sometimes it's because I've had second thoughts. Other times it because I'm having a busy day and I know I won't have the time to respond properly
Almost didn't bother posting this "
We appreciate the effort |
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"I will speak up if I want to or I think I ought, I will just try to choose my words carefully.
But, having done that, if I state something intentionally I will stand by my word."
Is choosing words carefully a form of reticence though I wonder? Do diplomacy and reticence go HD and in hand? |
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today"
If anything I'm a little too honest about the things I post. But I find it easier to be like this when I have a screen to hide behind. I'm less open in person. |
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"Recently (fuck, for some time) I've not really seen the point in posting on any particularly "controversial" threads - I think it got to the point where my narrative was being told to me and it's the same few outspoken voices arguing the same things over and over again about the same topics. Besides, I'm enjoying keeping it fairly light."
As you should lady! I'm in a happy place and trying to do the same. I cried over something this morning though and let it get to me. It's not always easy to avoid controversy. |
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"I do pick and choose the threads I post in, I try and keep it lighthearted and fun. Some are very close to home so I scroll past, and some have me rolling my eyes. Occasionally there’s one I would love to give my opinion on but would mean putting myself up to be judged and no one can say what they would do in my situation unless they have been through it. So yes I’m reticent x "
Some threads really do hit home. There was a gaslighting one in recent times that I couldn't even bring myself to read, let alone have the composure to comment on.
Some days I feel stronger than others and more ready to take on certain topics, but for the most part I stick to the easier, more fun stuff xx |
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"I usually avoid any confrontation online as I had a bad case of cyberstalking in the 90s.
There are a lot of nutters out there, most are simply keyboard warriors but some will hunt you down and email you photos of your kids. I have been cyber paranoid ever since.
I have a few red buttons, usually someone spouting off rubbish in an area where I have some professional expertise
I have to restrain myself because I can easily prove things but that would mean outing myself by posting my credentials. Winning an online arguement is not worth being outed and losing my source of income.
Walking away is a lot easier.
"
What if you're not arguing? What if you walk away but the argument follows you? Is there a point when you say enough and stand your ground? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' ..."
Reticent. Did this three or four times yesterday. |
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"I rarely find a thread when I feel my opinion could be controversial.
If it's a more provocative thread and someone has already said what I would then I leave it.
If not I weigh up the pros and cons of posting, if I know it will entice response I decide if I have time or energy to deal with that before I decide if I post. "
That's a pretty healthy attitude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do pick and choose the threads I post in, I try and keep it lighthearted and fun. Some are very close to home so I scroll past, and some have me rolling my eyes. Occasionally there’s one I would love to give my opinion on but would mean putting myself up to be judged and no one can say what they would do in my situation unless they have been through it. So yes I’m reticent x
Some threads really do hit home. There was a gaslighting one in recent times that I couldn't even bring myself to read, let alone have the composure to comment on.
Some days I feel stronger than others and more ready to take on certain topics, but for the most part I stick to the easier, more fun stuff xx"
Yes sometimes the subject is hard to read and I can only give away snippets as they bring back all the old feelings. That’s not healthy so I back off x |
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"Usually I say what I think, however on one occasion said something that was not only said when at a low point, that was both degrading and out of character, in a supposed "banter" thread.
It left me feeling crap, fuming at letting myself down and above all, allowing something like that be associated with Mrs FGoS.
Lesson learned and never to be repeated. Shocked myself with that one "
I was shocked to find I had offended someone recently as something I said was not meant in any way to be offensive. I tend to stick to lighter topics, threads with a little bit of fun to them, to smile and make others smile, so I was completely blindsided by the negative reaction. I was ashamed of myself for offending someone, and apologised. As a result I found myself deleting more comments than publishing them today. It made me question myself and my humour. |
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"I am usually pretty outspoken both on Fab as well as in real life. Probably one of the few people who wouldn't say stuff online that I wouldn't dare utter in person. Having said so, I don't really venture much into the forums, but when I do I just read and comment/reply accordingly.
If I see a thread or comment that I disagree with, I'm not one to shy away from a fight and I would usually come out and make my point unless someone already has done so for me. I don't set out to deliberately offend people either on the forums but if I do then I can't stop them from choosing to be offended. I'm 100% real in person as well as in real life. Straight-up banter, straight-up talk, and straight-up sex when that comes about! "
You make a good point. Maybe there should be another thread to balance this one... A do you choose to be offended type thread.
Maybe a topic for another day! |
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today
If anything I'm a little too honest about the things I post. But I find it easier to be like this when I have a screen to hide behind. I'm less open in person."
I doubt you're in the minority there. I'm probably more reticent online than I am in person. I can be quite fierce
Some of it is down to an awareness that people who don't know me well might take some of the things I say seriously. Here in the Lounge in particular I watch what I say as cultural references may not be understood by the majority of Lounge users, and terminology varies from country to country. For example where I come from, a foof is something broken beyond repair.. Not part of the female anatomy but also because I'm in a minority here, which means that my actions might reflect on, or lead people to form opinions on, my nationality. Its a balancing act... Sometimes you fall. |
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' ...
Reticent. Did this three or four times yesterday."
Three or four isn't bad. I do it a lot more than that |
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By *rallvalCouple
over a year ago
Dunfermline |
"I usually avoid any confrontation online as I had a bad case of cyberstalking in the 90s.
There are a lot of nutters out there, most are simply keyboard warriors but some will hunt you down and email you photos of your kids. I have been cyber paranoid ever since.
I have a few red buttons, usually someone spouting off rubbish in an area where I have some professional expertise
I have to restrain myself because I can easily prove things but that would mean outing myself by posting my credentials. Winning an online arguement is not worth being outed and losing my source of income.
Walking away is a lot easier.
What if you're not arguing? What if you walk away but the argument follows you? Is there a point when you say enough and stand your ground? "
No.
We are on here to meet people. Forum chats are an added extra but no chat is worth being stalked and outed.
I am in a registered profession with a 'conduct unbecoming' and 'bringing into disrepute' clause that means I can lose my job so I walk. |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"
I am in a registered profession with a 'conduct unbecoming' and 'bringing into disrepute' clause that means I can lose my job so I walk."
I have one of those too -but I cycle everywhere instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i have something to contribute to the discussion then i will post it...
I've been here for so long i don't really care what people think of my opinion but i do delete more than i post |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"I'm a little bit reticent as I'm wary of words being misinterpreted. "
At the end of the day, they're just words -what could possibly go wrong -it's not like they start wars or anything |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I tend to call it as I see it, and try and offer a balanced response when I do - that can sometimes get me into trouble if I've misinterpreted the intent of an OP and am one of the first to respond.
There are times I delete what I've typed/posted, but it's rare.
My biggest failing is typing a long response and losing myself in it, often realising after I'm done that the point I was originally intending to make I've not actually made, or not done as clearly as I intended. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I enjoy the silly light hearted threads. I do occasionally comment on other things but I don’t like the tit for tat, back and forth responses. I did find myself doing that on a recent thread then ended up laughing at myself for getting drawn in! It really is pointless and doesn’t achieve anything. I do draft and delete at times but I suppose that’s because I don’t care enough to post.
Sometimes you read a comment on a thread and know who has posted it before you read the name. There are those who just seem bitter or spoiling for a fight and I don’t really want to interact with them so I don’t. It’s avoid from me
If I feel strongly I will comment but generally light hearted and fun is how it works best for me |
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today
If anything I'm a little too honest about the things I post. But I find it easier to be like this when I have a screen to hide behind. I'm less open in person.
I doubt you're in the minority there. I'm probably more reticent online than I am in person. I can be quite fierce
Some of it is down to an awareness that people who don't know me well might take some of the things I say seriously. Here in the Lounge in particular I watch what I say as cultural references may not be understood by the majority of Lounge users, and terminology varies from country to country. For example where I come from, a foof is something broken beyond repair.. Not part of the female anatomy but also because I'm in a minority here, which means that my actions might reflect on, or lead people to form opinions on, my nationality. Its a balancing act... Sometimes you fall. "
Ah fuck 'em. You know what you mean and that's all that counts. Its up to other people to educate themselves on other cultures and if they still don't know then why not just ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find yourself reticent on the Forums or are you outspoken?
Do you find yourself deleting comments without clicking 'post message' because you don't know how they will be interpreted or do you just throw stuff out there and let the die fall where it may?
Do you take the duck's back approach or do things deeply affect you?
Answers wrapped round a bourbon cream please... I'm eating my feelings today"
I just say what I think or sometimes I say what I don't think. Nobody knows me so it doesn't matter if I post something that I wish I hadn't have. In real life I'm more conscientious but having said that, I genuinely wouldn't want to offend anybody on here. I have only deleted posts for embarrassing grammar mistakes, never because the point that I've ended up making looks a little on the crass side.
A high percentage of the stuff posted on here is stupid and infantile. I mean, what kind of adult would post "kiss/fuck/buy a pint" night after night? Anybody who gets offended by the kind of people that post on this site really shouldn't be on here. I don't include racism, body shaming, piss-taking of the not very bright or any other common 'isms' in that. There's no place for that kind of stuff anywhere. |
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