FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When did fab become so “age’ist”?
When did fab become so “age’ist”?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
age is just a number you can't breach  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ooooooor we can accept that people have age filters set because that is their preference, and it isn’t ageist 
Is my straight husband homophobic for not fucking men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the fact there are more younger people joining these days probably adds to the number of age restrictions you see.
But yes, people have the restrictions because that's their preference. It's all good saying you enjoy meeting older people, that's your preference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being older does not mean more experience, even when it does, it doesn't necessarily mean good experience. I know, I am older! Plus... I like men to look the age I feel, that is what attracts me to them, hence my play age limits, although they are not set in stone, but it is rare I deviate from that   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the fact there are more younger people joining these days probably adds to the number of age restrictions you see.
But yes, people have the restrictions because that's their preference. It's all good saying you enjoy meeting older people, that's your preference. "
She likes old dudes ^ |
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"And so the tone is set....
Another thread where the OP regrets trying to start a conversation."
My filters are set widely. I, personally, am less bothered by age than many. But I detest the term "ageism" for things like this. This stuff isn't discrimination with large life consequences, and you can't make someone want to have sex with you.
Is open mindedness a good thing? Maybe, in some situations. But if faced off against "people should have less bodily autonomy because I want them", bodily autonomy wins every time. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
If people didn't use the filters and you mailed them and they replied saying no thanks you are too old, is that any better? Or should they carry on talking to you even if they didn't fancy someone of your age? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I would imagine that it's exactly the same as it ever was, the only thing that's changed has been that you now no longer fit into people's age brackets.
It's not ageist, or anything else. It's simply a case of preference.
These kind of threads pop up constantly OP, usually started by guys who are butt hurt because they're finding that they're not matching the majority of criteria and start crying foul or blaming 'isms'. Short guys saying people are heightist, Caucasian guys lamenting others requests for BBC, Asian guys decrying their lack of meets, older guys claiming profiles are ageist, fat guys railing against people only wanting gym fit folk...
The list goes on.
It's all based on entitlement OP, people want what they want, if that doesn't include you, then in the nicest possible way; tough shit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
You were younger and didn’t notice probs and I bet you had an age range before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep getting i need to lower my age limit i point out i prefer older "
I get the opposite... Does my head in tbh because it is always from guys I wouldn't fancy if they were younger either  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
I frequently get told I should be more flexible and raise/lower my age limits. Why? They are my preferences, if people don't like it then it's not my problem. They don't apply when I'm meet g people at organised socials, parties and clubs as there are people of all ages there, and I have no control over who attends them. I've also had people picking my veris apart because of this, ie, "you met them but won't meet me" etc, which is why I've chosen not to display them anymore. |
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"I frequently get told I should be more flexible and raise/lower my age limits. Why? They are my preferences, if people don't like it then it's not my problem. They don't apply when I'm meet g people at organised socials, parties and clubs as there are people of all ages there, and I have no control over who attends them. I've also had people picking my veris apart because of this, ie, "you met them but won't meet me" etc, which is why I've chosen not to display them anymore. "
Oh god I hate that. Yes, I did. Because he's not a prick. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I frequently get told I should be more flexible and raise/lower my age limits. Why? They are my preferences, if people don't like it then it's not my problem. They don't apply when I'm meet g people at organised socials, parties and clubs as there are people of all ages there, and I have no control over who attends them. I've also had people picking my veris apart because of this, ie, "you met them but won't meet me" etc, which is why I've chosen not to display them anymore.
Oh god I hate that. Yes, I did. Because he's not a prick."
Sad that I have to hide them, most are from socials. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the fact there are more younger people joining these days probably adds to the number of age restrictions you see.
But yes, people have the restrictions because that's their preference. It's all good saying you enjoy meeting older people, that's your preference.
She likes old dudes ^"
Older not old! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
When we first joined years ago we didn't change the age limit on our profile at first (we didn't even realise it was there) but after about 3 days of being active on the site we realised that a lot of single guys over 50 were messaging us.
Dont get me wrong, a lot of the older people on here seem to have more respect for people compared to the younger ones and they have more patience too, we would happily chat to them, but when it comes to meets then its different.
The wife has always said that if she knows the person is either the same age as our parents or close then it would feel strange meeting them and playing and she wouldn't feel comfortable at all, so now we do have a maximum age and we stick to it as as I respect how she feels and we only do this if both of us is fully comfortable and happy with the whole thing , besides there are plenty of people on here who will only meet older people, so it works both ways
Hubby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. "
it's a small window 10 years
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years "
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. "
We also get the younger ones too (under our min age range) who use the excuse like "well im on only 5 years under" as a good enough reason for us to meet them etc, yeah we may let a year up or down slip but we have our limits for a reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. "
really oh my I'm an eligible bachelor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new
"
Carry on meeting older people then
You're more likely to be in their bracket |
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. "
when I say this I'm always told I'm on the wrong site but if people want to date why not ? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. really oh my I'm an eligible bachelor "
In Woking lol, I don't live in Surrey anymore |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. when I say this I'm always told I'm on the wrong site but if people want to date why not ? "
I'm always being told that too, but I've found dating sites a lot worse than here. People lie on there saying they are looking for dating and relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My preference is men in there mid 40s. It's not ageist it's just I've found that guys that age are the ones i tend to enjoy the most who I can be open with and tend do meet regularly with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
could always legally change it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And so the tone is set....
Another thread where the OP regrets trying to start a conversation."
The internet is no place for a conversation, just grandstanding and abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep getting i need to lower my age limit i point out i prefer older
I get the opposite... Does my head in tbh because it is always from guys I wouldn't fancy if they were younger either "
See age is age. Unavoidable really! We've exchanged a few messages on my singles profile a couple of years ago, but I think I was 39 then.
But do I start pissing and moaning about it? Hell no! Instead it's far better for myself and my better half to focus on those whose age limits we do fit inside? Common sense really, time whinging is wasted time. 
B |
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
M8.... you got older....... s'all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. when I say this I'm always told I'm on the wrong site but if people want to date why not ?
I'm always being told that too, but I've found dating sites a lot worse than here. People lie on there saying they are looking for dating and relationships. "
people never lie on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
You probably notice it more because you now find yourself in the less desirable age bracket OP! |
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What really cracks me up are the people who set odd upper limit boundaries like '43' for example... What happens to a person when they hit 44 that suddenly kills any potential attraction off to the point you don't even want to hear from people of that age?! 'But if you're still only 42'then message away, it's all great!'
I would have thought people that have such arbitrary yet specific deal breaker limits must actually end up on missing out on a lot of quality opportunities just because they're too busy auto-disqualifying people... 40s must be one of the most difficult age groups to generalise about because although some people look 'spent' and ready for the knacker's yard by the time they are 39, others people could pass for 25 aged 50. Oh well, their loss etc etc. |
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People usually have a pretty good idea of the age range that they are most attracted to.
Yes, there will always be outliers but opening your age range too much, means too many messages from people that you have no interest in.
This is why we like clubs, you chat and if it goes well things more to sex. You don't need to know their age.
Nita |
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"Was on fab a while ago solo then as part of a couple. Back again solo but am finding that there appears to be more profiles than ever with a maximum age restriction set.
I always found meeting older people fun as I usually learnt or experienced something new. Plus a cross mix of age and experience at the parties I hosted or clubs I visited made the whole experience much richer and enjoyable.
Am I alone in thinking this?"
Hi OP,
I’m personally genuinely more attracted to men in their mid to late 30’s up to early 40’s.
I’m rather torn when it comes to the swinging lifestyle because I want to be free to see who I want but I’m scared I’ll get an STI if I take risks so I’m careful and get home test kits pretty often, in an attempt to ‘narrow things down’ if I was to discover I was infected (sometimes there are no symptoms). I read this recently and it doesn’t make for easy reading... especially the bit about older people not using protection! https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/23/dangerous-liaisons-why-syphilis-and-gonorrhea-have-returned-to-haunt-britain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What really cracks me up are the people who set odd upper limit boundaries like '43' for example... What happens to a person when they hit 44 that suddenly kills any potential attraction off to the point you don't even want to hear from people of that age?! 'But if you're still only 42'then message away, it's all great!'
I would have thought people that have such arbitrary yet specific deal breaker limits must actually end up on missing out on a lot of quality opportunities just because they're too busy auto-disqualifying people... 40s must be one of the most difficult age groups to generalise about because although some people look 'spent' and ready for the knacker's yard by the time they are 39, others people could pass for 25 aged 50. Oh well, their loss etc etc. "
Ha, I used to have 33-43. I changed it slightly but the guys I usually date are mid to late 30s so I’m not sure why I have some 40s but I’m keeping an open mind. I only sleep with people I would actually date in the real world. Guys close to my age are not usually my type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People should fuck whoever asks, whether they fancy them or not.
Bonobos are like this and they have a great life. We should be more like Bonobos. "
If we were offered an imaginary foursome with Albert Steptoe and Bella Emberg we'd like the option to be able to pass, thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What really cracks me up are the people who set odd upper limit boundaries like '43' for example... What happens to a person when they hit 44 that suddenly kills any potential attraction off to the point you don't even want to hear from people of that age?! 'But if you're still only 42'then message away, it's all great!'
I would have thought people that have such arbitrary yet specific deal breaker limits must actually end up on missing out on a lot of quality opportunities just because they're too busy auto-disqualifying people... 40s must be one of the most difficult age groups to generalise about because although some people look 'spent' and ready for the knacker's yard by the time they are 39, others people could pass for 25 aged 50. Oh well, their loss etc etc. "
Their actual upper limit might be 40 but they put 43 to allow for any variation.
People often lie about their age anyway. There are some clear pensioners on here who claim to be under 50.
Even if someone is within the age range on my profile, I might not want to fuck them.  |
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"People should fuck whoever asks, whether they fancy them or not.
Bonobos are like this and they have a great life. We should be more like Bonobos.
If we were offered an imaginary foursome with Albert Steptoe and Bella Emberg we'd like the option to be able to pass, thanks."
Bononbos a great life? Not seen many with large houses or driving ferraris |
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"I’m keeping an open mind. "
Awesome! :D I wish more people did. I always assumed that the swinging scene was open-minded but if you spend too much time on Fab it starts to make it look like actually the opposite may be true...
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"People should fuck whoever asks, whether they fancy them or not.
Bonobos are like this and they have a great life. We should be more like Bonobos.
If we were offered an imaginary foursome with Albert Steptoe and Bella Emberg we'd like the option to be able to pass, thanks.
Bononbos a great life? Not seen many with large houses or driving ferraris "
Exactly. Too busy fucking to have time to worry about shallow materialism! |
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"People should fuck whoever asks, whether they fancy them or not.
Bonobos are like this and they have a great life. We should be more like Bonobos.
If we were offered an imaginary foursome with Albert Steptoe and Bella Emberg we'd like the option to be able to pass, thanks."
What about if they were in the prime of youth and looking hot AF? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m keeping an open mind.
Awesome! :D I wish more people did. I always assumed that the swinging scene was open-minded but if you spend too much time on Fab it starts to make it look like actually the opposite may be true...
"
There’s an open mind and there’s clear preferences. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. really oh my I'm an eligible bachelor
In Woking lol, I don't live in Surrey anymore really not good economics on your part "
Actually it is. I now have no mortgage and only have to work part time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I have more problems with younger people objecting to my age range lately. Maybe because I've upped it a bit both ends. it's a small window 10 years
It is. But that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date, not hook up. really oh my I'm an eligible bachelor
In Woking lol, I don't live in Surrey anymore really not good economics on your part
Actually it is. I now have no mortgage and only have to work part time. "
damn |
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