FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Swingers my arse!
Swingers my arse!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it"
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
"
because im not and never was a swinger also was never a dater just liked casual sex no pressure and that then evolved into something more
Iv tried sharing before in the past i dont like it im too competetive to swing |
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"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
"
They came here looking for one thing and found something else they preferred I guess .
A bit like going into a shop for one particular item and coming out with something else .
It’s an odd one for sure , unless they specifically say in their profile they are looking for love and exclusivity . In which case one can only wonder why they would be looking for that on a swinging site . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
"
With dating though, people can still date other people if they both want to, unless they decide to be in an exclusive relationship. |
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This is me, I stopped meeting other people simply because I wanted to, I started meeting my partner 3-4 times a week, I loved everything about him, we played out different scenarios, were loving towards each other and I didn’t want anyone else, simple as that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here."
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out.... "
Okay, one bit of that was random and didn’t make any sense. |
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"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out.... "
People really shouldn’t worry about the actions of other people if it doesn’t affect them directly or at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out....
Okay, one bit of that was random and didn’t make any sense. "
Yes, I noticed that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out....
Okay, one bit of that was random and didn’t make any sense. "
Interpretation..... ......my comments are a gift, yours to do what you like with, wank on them or bin them if it suits . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they want to take time alone to build and develop their relationship before deciding whether to swing together or not? Isn't a strong relationship the basis of a good swinging one?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they want to concentrate on building the foundation blocks and concreting their future as best they can to give them the best chance at "ever after" with as few complications as possible.
Once those foundation blocks are sturdy, trust is well and truly cemented.
Just because they don't want to swing alone anymore doesn't mean they won't swing as a couple.
They need time to bond and grow together
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they want to take time alone to build and develop their relationship before deciding whether to swing together or not? Isn't a strong relationship the basis of a good swinging one?
"
Most ppl on fab aren't swingers in my experience though, I know it's the name of the site, but still..... .....why the assumption they must want to swing or share? Half the folk on here are just horny and wanting a shag, a lot of ppl needing love too.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they want to concentrate on building the foundation blocks and concreting their future as best they can to give them the best chance at "ever after" with as few complications as possible.
Once those foundation blocks are sturdy, trust is well and truly cemented.
Just because they don't want to swing alone anymore doesn't mean they won't swing as a couple.
They need time to bond and grow together
P"
that makes bags of sense |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe they want to take time alone to build and develop their relationship before deciding whether to swing together or not? Isn't a strong relationship the basis of a good swinging one?
Most ppl on fab aren't swingers in my experience though, I know it's the name of the site, but still..... .....why the assumption they must want to swing or share? Half the folk on here are just horny and wanting a shag, a lot of ppl needing love too...."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they want to take time alone to build and develop their relationship before deciding whether to swing together or not? Isn't a strong relationship the basis of a good swinging one?
"
I thought this too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They probably use this site as a dating site as some people are more honest about their sexual desires on here. On dating sites people tend to be more reserved or lie to get a fuck.
On here we know they want a fuck. If there's more it's a pleasant surprise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out....
Okay, one bit of that was random and didn’t make any sense.
Interpretation..... ......my comments are a gift, yours to do what you like with, wank on them or bin them if it suits. "
I’ll just scroll passed them, like I usually do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe they want to concentrate on building the foundation blocks and concreting their future as best they can to give them the best chance at "ever after" with as few complications as possible.
Once those foundation blocks are sturdy, trust is well and truly cemented.
Just because they don't want to swing alone anymore doesn't mean they won't swing as a couple.
They need time to bond and grow together
P"
Being a builder I fully understand this explanation. |
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By *avartMan
over a year ago
Barnsley |
People's needs and wants change. Some are simply trying things out and decide or realise what it is they actually want.
Live and let live. To be honest, you can pick faults with many things that people do or say on here.
I'm really not interested in picking apart what people do or do not do.
I'd prefer if Fab didn't have status updates as many of them are basically drivel and people moaning a la Facebook. However, I can just skim over them.
I think anyone who has a moan on here about anything has a very simple solution. Don't use Fab. End of. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
"
I think it might be (for those that do swing swing swing) that they want to consolidate their new relationship and boundaries and communication etc so as to be able to ensure the swinging bit is done in a healthy fashion, as and when they do, with no negative impact on the primary relationship - and because they’re all excitable and taken up with getting to know the new partner that they simply don’t want to swing for a bit.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They need time to bond and grow together
P
Being a builder I fully understand this explanation.
This is clearly a Gardening reference. "
That’s the only bit I didn’t understand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps some of them don’t like the idea of sharing and are fundamentally monogamous "
Each to their own, but I do dislike those who look down on us that do share. Or worse those that say they want to join a couple but if they had a partner they wouldn’t share. |
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Personally, I think with a new relationship you need to get to know each other.
I think it's a good idea to step away until you're comfortable and secure in your relationship. Meeting on here you know what each other likes, it's making it work as a couple.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps some of them don’t like the idea of sharing and are fundamentally monogamous
Each to their own, but I do dislike those who look down on us that do share. Or worse those that say they want to join a couple but if they had a partner they wouldn’t share."
Yep. I find that a bit hypocritical too. However everyone is allowed preferences  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your currently not looking yourself OP 
How would you know, you haven’t looked at my profile, wait a minute are you looking in stealth mode ?!"
Yes, I’m always in stealth mode, I’d be in big trouble otherwise  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your currently not looking yourself OP
How would you know, you haven’t looked at my profile, wait a minute are you looking in stealth mode ?!
Yes, I’m always in stealth mode, I’d be in big trouble otherwise "
Ditto  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your currently not looking yourself OP
How would you know, you haven’t looked at my profile, wait a minute are you looking in stealth mode ?!
Yes, I’m always in stealth mode, I’d be in big trouble otherwise
Ditto "
It’s safer that way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Selfish fuckers, reducing the pool of genitalia. How dare they."
Maybe there should be a rule only men can get together, thus reducing the competition whilst keeping the ladies available! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Selfish fuckers, reducing the pool of genitalia. How dare they.
Maybe there should be a rule only men can get together, thus reducing the competition whilst keeping the ladies available! "
bugger off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Selfish fuckers, reducing the pool of genitalia. How dare they.
Maybe there should be a rule only men can get together, thus reducing the competition whilst keeping the ladies available! "
If you run for pm I’ll vote for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair point well made
Do see a few single swingers saying they wouldn't share if they were in a couple ...
But... it's a site for all, and up to the individuals how they use it
Just seen quite a few forumites who are off the market,cause they met their beloved on here.
I think that's sweet myself. Why not if that's what they want to do? May aswell force them to have sex with an old man of a specific ethnicity. How dare they make their own personal choices....
.....we need more rules here to keep the riff raff out....
Okay, one bit of that was random and didn’t make any sense.
Interpretation..... ......my comments are a gift, yours to do what you like with, wank on them or bin them if it suits.
I’ll just scroll passed them, like I usually do."
 |
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I would think the reason is that when you meet someone and there's a really deep connection, you're captivated, infatuated, besotted etc that you might indeed take a bit of a sabbatical from swinging for a while, certainly during the initial stages of the relationship, but then if both parties were into the lifestyle beforehand there's usually a fairly good chance they'll be back into the scene as a couple later in. I'd love to have a like-minded partner for adventures in swinging but I might need a period of exclusivity for a while whilst building the bond of trust that would make that kind of partnership work... |
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We didn’t plan it - it just sort of happened a few months after we met. We’ve met as a couple since but he became really ill then as he got better my health declined. But I’m fixed now & we’re hoping to get back to it in the autumn
J x |
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"Perhaps some of them don’t like the idea of sharing and are fundamentally monogamous
Each to their own, but I do dislike those who look down on us that do share. Or worse those that say they want to join a couple but if they had a partner they wouldn’t share."
I find those types quite hypocritical. |
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"I would think the reason is that when you meet someone and there's a really deep connection, you're captivated, infatuated, besotted etc that you might indeed take a bit of a sabbatical from swinging for a while, certainly during the initial stages of the relationship, but then if both parties were into the lifestyle beforehand there's usually a fairly good chance they'll be back into the scene as a couple later in. I'd love to have a like-minded partner for adventures in swinging but I might need a period of exclusivity for a while whilst building the bond of trust that would make that kind of partnership work... "
Exactly! |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
"
Why does it matter?
I would prefer to date from this site but that’s because I want to carry on in a sexually non monogamous way, but I see no reason why people can’t do as they choose.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do a lot of single people on the forums who fall for another forumite, immediately stop swinging and seeing other people, did they use this place as a dating site, if so why not a conventional one ?
Thanks in advance X
Why does it matter?
I would prefer to date from this site but that’s because I want to carry on in a sexually non monogamous way, but I see no reason why people can’t do as they choose.
V x "
Due to the laws of entropy nothing matters, I just needed something to do while I waited for the kettle to boil for my Pot Noodle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally, I think with a new relationship you need to get to know each other.
I think it's a good idea to step away until you're comfortable and secure in your relationship. Meeting on here you know what each other likes, it's making it work as a couple.
"
Exactly this x |
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"Maybe they want to take time alone to build and develop their relationship before deciding whether to swing together or not? Isn't a strong relationship the basis of a good swinging one?
"
I agree with this. The couples who are in committed, open, honest relationships, and choose this lifestyle because it suits them, have an advantage IMO. They are already secure in their relationships and go home together, no matter what they get up to.
Perhaps some singles would like to be in that kind of relationship, or just discover it along the way, so if it comes along, there's nothing wrong with it. Why not take time out to see where it will lead? It doesn't matter where you meet that special someone.
Right or wrong, fab isn't just a swinging site to me. Perhaps it was intended that way, but I believe, it appeals to people who wish to live an alternative lifestyle and want to be able to discuss things such as we all do on these forums. That rarely happens with people you meet on dating sites because of the stigma attached to any behaviour deemed as promiscuous. Alternative can be lots of things. Not all of us actually want to participate in group sex, parties and clubs, and many men find sharing their partners difficult. It's only a problem when he does what he likes but she isn't allowed. What about voyeurs? Socially unacceptable everywhere but in a swinging club! Some people just want an incredibly fulfilling sex life and if it leads to something more long-term, then there's nothing wrong with that. Each to their own. Dating sites just don't cut it... and there is little difference at the end of the day because people still want sex, they just dress it up as 'looking for a relationship' because they are stuck in the Vanilla way of thinking and don't want to be judged by society. |
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