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Eavesdropping
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was shopping for a dress this morning. The lady in the dressing room beside me while wasn't skinny shw also wasn't overweight to me. She had a small bit of a tummy. I had just came out of the dressing room to look in the full length mirror and she came out to show her other half the dress. Now while it wasn't exactly flattering I was gobsmacked listening to them.
Her: I don't really like this one as I think it makes me look big.
Him: Theres no making you look big your just fat.
She just walked back into the dressing room. Now I was trying different dresses. She obviously got dressed and came out. I could here him asking her why aren't you trying on the rest and her replying I don't see the point. He then tells her well we could look for something makes you look less fat.
My skin was crawling listening to the conversation so half dressed I walked out and gave him a piece of my mind. You shouldn't have been eavesdropping was his reply and he grabbed her by the hand and walked away. As they walked away he turns and says I suppose it could be worse she could be as fat as you.
My question is would you have said something or ever been in a similar situation and what did you do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've learnt through bitter experience not to get involved in other couples discussions. I don't agree with his comments, he is a cock and she condones it by not challenging the status quo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eurgh, awkward really in any situation.
I feel for the girl in question, it's hard to be confident when the person you care about most is knocking you down 
She will find her backbone one day, I'm sure.
As for him, he must have some deep insecurities if he feels like he has to say demeaning things about others like that.
I would have struggled to bite my tongue too. |
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no i would not of said anything. Their relationship plus if he was inclined to be abusive you might of made things worse for her when she got home. No doubt he would of taken you having a go at him out on her anyway in some form |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be so upset hearing that. My first husband often was that sort of dirtbag and you just believe it when you hear it enough. I hope you chiming in made her realise that he’s just cruel. I also hope she ditches him and he joins fab and is deleted from everyone’s inbox forever. |
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You're absolutely right to be disgusted. I don't know if I would have had the nerve to said anything but I would have been dying to. I think if I did say anything it would be directly to the woman and leave the man out of it. I would simply say she's not fat and maybe say how good she looked in something she tried on.
I would focus on building her up and not bother criticising an ignorant arsehole who probably won't change. The message would be clear but presented in a more positive way. I don't think he's the one who needs to be told how to treat a lady - she is.
In the conversation you reported I would want to conclude with "It could be worse. I could be as ignorant and disrespectful to my partner as you are." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well it depends. If the woman seems to be okay with that I wouldn't have said anything.
It is not my problem but hers and if she was happy to be talked like that...fair enough.
If it wasn't the case, I would have shit inside the mouth of that person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it depends. If the woman seems to be okay with that I wouldn't have said anything.
It is not my problem but hers and if she was happy to be talked like that...fair enough.
If it wasn't the case, I would have shit inside the mouth of that person "
Not literally btw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but its not your place to butt into a conversation of strangers in that way no matter how you felt about it. If it was a minor maybe or involved threats but not for this "
I agree. If there's no potential violence indicated, a stranger wouldn't know the dynamics of the relationship. They might always be abusive to each other in various ways - some couples just seem to be permanently warring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
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"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
"
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him"
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
P |
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"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
P"
i would just get a good hiding when we got home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
Pi would just get a good hiding when we got home"
Mine was more mental than physical, the physical came when I dared to stand up to him and tell him he was wrong, or stand up for myself when he was verbally attacking me, for example me questioning how he dared say I didn't love my own son because I had to work New Years Eve and he swore blind I was out partying and lying about my whereabouts when I was on my knees sweeping up confetti from fucking party bangers at 2am when we closed at work. Got a beating for not telling the truth, when the truth was I was at fucking work.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well it depends. If the woman seems to be okay with that I wouldn't have said anything.
It is not my problem but hers and if she was happy to be talked like that...fair enough.
If it wasn't the case, I would have shit inside the mouth of that person
Not literally btw "
Damn, someone has just asked me if I'd do that and, whilst it isn't my thing, I could have pointed him in your direction  |
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"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
Pi would just get a good hiding when we got home
Mine was more mental than physical, the physical came when I dared to stand up to him and tell him he was wrong, or stand up for myself when he was verbally attacking me, for example me questioning how he dared say I didn't love my own son because I had to work New Years Eve and he swore blind I was out partying and lying about my whereabouts when I was on my knees sweeping up confetti from fucking party bangers at 2am when we closed at work. Got a beating for not telling the truth, when the truth was I was at fucking work.
P"
mine was both. but at least its in both our pasts now and weve moved on. This thread just brought back memories |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
Pi would just get a good hiding when we got home
Mine was more mental than physical, the physical came when I dared to stand up to him and tell him he was wrong, or stand up for myself when he was verbally attacking me, for example me questioning how he dared say I didn't love my own son because I had to work New Years Eve and he swore blind I was out partying and lying about my whereabouts when I was on my knees sweeping up confetti from fucking party bangers at 2am when we closed at work. Got a beating for not telling the truth, when the truth was I was at fucking work.
Pmine was both. but at least its in both our pasts now and weve moved on. This thread just brought back memories"
So true.
I must sound at times like I dwell on it, it's so not the case at all, but I do share my experiences to give other people insight into how abuse can work, and that yes, you can come out the other side and have a bright future.
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
what would your ex have done if a random stranger had overheard him and had a go at him
Given the stranger a mouthful of abuse, then tried to justify his actions to me, that he was protecting me. He would have more than likely then have tried to play it cool and say that I should have continued trying different clothes on coz eventually I'd have found something that looked half decent and if I'd found it in the first place that none of that would have happened.
They're clever twisty motherfuckers
Pi would just get a good hiding when we got home
Mine was more mental than physical, the physical came when I dared to stand up to him and tell him he was wrong, or stand up for myself when he was verbally attacking me, for example me questioning how he dared say I didn't love my own son because I had to work New Years Eve and he swore blind I was out partying and lying about my whereabouts when I was on my knees sweeping up confetti from fucking party bangers at 2am when we closed at work. Got a beating for not telling the truth, when the truth was I was at fucking work.
Pmine was both. but at least its in both our pasts now and weve moved on. This thread just brought back memories
So true.
I must sound at times like I dwell on it, it's so not the case at all, but I do share my experiences to give other people insight into how abuse can work, and that yes, you can come out the other side and have a bright future.
P"
Good to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
"
That makes horrific reading, what a horrible excuse for a man.
As for the OP, I probably would of said something too!
Domestic violence is not just physical, it can also be emotional abuse, and it is illegal.
If he speaks to her like that in public then it is sickening to think about how he speaks/treats her indoors |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
That makes horrific reading, what a horrible excuse for a man.
As for the OP, I probably would of said something too!
Domestic violence is not just physical, it can also be emotional abuse, and it is illegal.
If he speaks to her like that in public then it is sickening to think about how he speaks/treats her indoors "
I just couldn't say nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
That makes horrific reading, what a horrible excuse for a man.
As for the OP, I probably would of said something too!
Domestic violence is not just physical, it can also be emotional abuse, and it is illegal.
If he speaks to her like that in public then it is sickening to think about how he speaks/treats her indoors
I just couldn't say nothing "
If she is a victim of domestic abuse, by saying something to defend her, could provoke him to beat her when they get home
I personally wouldn't say anything, only if he started swearing, then I would confront him, that way it takes the interest away from her and is diverted to him alone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sounds rather familiar to me.
I remember buying myself a new work top, was a purple colour, only cheap from an asda sale.
Put it on and the ex starting going off at me for wasting money (even though he went to the pub most nights)
Anyways, he said well you've taken the label off now so that's fucked it for being able to take it back, what colour would you say it is.... I'd go for *grabs and twists my stomach* PLUM-P"
Some people really are evil. Her confidence is probably already shot to shit, here's hoping one day she finds her inner fight. Tragic thing is it usually happens when you've already given up, when you no longer care about anything. You just realise that you no longer don't care if you die, but you just know you can't continue to exist this way.
P
That makes horrific reading, what a horrible excuse for a man.
As for the OP, I probably would of said something too!
Domestic violence is not just physical, it can also be emotional abuse, and it is illegal.
If he speaks to her like that in public then it is sickening to think about how he speaks/treats her indoors
I just couldn't say nothing
If she is a victim of domestic abuse, by saying something to defend her, could provoke him to beat her when they get home
I personally wouldn't say anything, only if he started swearing, then I would confront him, that way it takes the interest away from her and is diverted to him alone."
I've been where she is and it stook a stranger saying something for me to realise that what he was doing was wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have tried to compliment her. I wouldn't have said anything to him as I'd be scared he would become abusive towards me and I wouldn't want to put myself in danger over words.
My brother and his fiancée are like that. She's plus size, and the things he says to put her down are horrendous. But she gives as good as she gets. What's the point in a relationship like that? I hope this woman in question gets away from him anyway, that kind of relationship isn't worth it. |
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