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Bisexual visibility day
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Apparently today is bisexual visibility day. I have to say I didn't know this until I came across this article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49753820#share-tools
It paints rather a negative picture...
What are people's experiences? Has your experience been different on fab than in the rest of your life?
Mrs TMN x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'm only openly bisexual on here and apart from one or two relatively minor instances (bigots in threads) have only ever had positive experiences with people in the overwhelming majority either being accepting or welcoming of my bisexuality.
I know that is vastly different from real world experiences though and having read that article it doesn't surprise me the reactions that people being totally open and honest in their day to day lives get - not sure whether the stigma that still exists around bisexuality in general is because of fear, lack of understanding or perhaps a mixture of both but it does seem to be one of the last taboos around sexuality in the wider context of society at large and even to an extent in the so called liberated and open-minded world of swinging - a good example of this being that male bisexuality is still frowned on in most clubs unless it's on a designated bi night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm bisexual and it's not because I'm greedy. I'm very much attracted to men and women, I've had relationships with both which I've found very fulfiling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am bi...not openly outside of fab much...isn't that greedy it's just I find different forms of the human being attractive..I love who they are not what they are..but many people don't think get how one can be attracted to both and actually I ve found, in my experience that it can be the gay male that is most objectionable to bi males..in ones I ve known  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am bi...not openly outside of fab much...isn't that greedy it's just I find different forms of the human being attractive..I love who they are not what they are..but many people don't think get how one can be attracted to both and actually I ve found, in my experience that it can be the gay male that is most objectionable to bi males..in ones I ve known "
Unfortently lesbains are like that with bisexual women as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am bi...not openly outside of fab much...isn't that greedy it's just I find different forms of the human being attractive..I love who they are not what they are..but many people don't think get how one can be attracted to both and actually I ve found, in my experience that it can be the gay male that is most objectionable to bi males..in ones I ve known
Unfortently lesbains are like that with bisexual women as well."
Did wonder if it could be the male ego coming out of the gay blokes I ve met...one was real aggressive in his attitude..interesting to know it same for the ladies..personally the human former is amazing and equally admired by myself sometimes.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One could argue being on the swinging scene is greedy. Whether you're the straightest swinger in town or not. Being open to, potentially, having sex with a person regardless of gender is no big deal to my eyes.
To my ears, though, saying "you're just greedy" to someone who is prepared to admit they are bi is the same as saying "what you do isn't natural" to a gay person. One could argue both statements are true but they're not very nice.
But I could well just be suffering from Monday afternoon grumpiness so maybe don't take that offensively if you can help it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've often thought that bisexuality was just greedy  
I'm sure that's intended as a joke but I've heard that from gay men and women intended as an insult "pick a side"...
"
They want everyone to accept them for there sexuailty, why can't they accept bisexual people for there's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm only openly bisexual on here and apart from one or two relatively minor instances (bigots in threads) have only ever had positive experiences with people in the overwhelming majority either being accepting or welcoming of my bisexuality.
I know that is vastly different from real world experiences though and having read that article it doesn't surprise me the reactions that people being totally open and honest in their day to day lives get - not sure whether the stigma that still exists around bisexuality in general is because of fear, lack of understanding or perhaps a mixture of both but it does seem to be one of the last taboos around sexuality in the wider context of society at large and even to an extent in the so called liberated and open-minded world of swinging - a good example of this being that male bisexuality is still frowned on in most clubs unless it's on a designated bi night."
Spot on analysis. When I'm browsing I usually put in the search criteria to show bi people. The results obviously show relatively few people but at least I know that if I contact the person I wont be upsetting them by stating I am bi. |
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"I've often thought that bisexuality was just greedy
I'm sure that's intended as a joke but I've heard that from gay men and women intended as an insult "pick a side"...
"
Yeah it was. Inspired by what my bisexual girlfriend has told me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Within our culture, monogamy is ingrained so it is socially accepted, nay demanded, that people have a life partner.
Heterosexual and now homosexual coupling for life is the norm, that people will be in a committed relationship forever. Society cannot compute serial monogamy, polygamy or anything else that doesn't fit the life partner mould. (The exception being James Bond or any young virile male that plays the field).
The suspicion lies within small minded people who cannot comprehend either being able to switch your affections between genders or that *shock horror* sex can be for recreation!
Hence why doggers, swingers or any "liberated" individual or couples are treated with distain (albeit tainted with envy no doubt).
By declaring yourself bi, you are declaring you are going to move from one relationship to another or stray with someone else to satisfy your own sefish needs.
I do not share this view by the way as everyone seems to take me literally at the moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Within our culture, monogamy is ingrained so it is socially accepted, nay demanded, that people have a life partner.
Heterosexual and now homosexual coupling for life is the norm, that people will be in a committed relationship forever. Society cannot compute serial monogamy, polygamy or anything else that doesn't fit the life partner mould. (The exception being James Bond or any young virile male that plays the field).
The suspicion lies within small minded people who cannot comprehend either being able to switch your affections between genders or that *shock horror* sex can be for recreation!
Hence why doggers, swingers or any "liberated" individual or couples are treated with distain (albeit tainted with envy no doubt).
By declaring yourself bi, you are declaring you are going to move from one relationship to another or stray with someone else to satisfy your own sefish needs.
I do not share this view by the way as everyone seems to take me literally at the moment.
"
This
 |
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"One could argue being on the swinging scene is greedy. Whether you're the straightest swinger in town or not. Being open to, potentially, having sex with a person regardless of gender is no big deal to my eyes.
To my ears, though, saying "you're just greedy" to someone who is prepared to admit they are bi is the same as saying "what you do isn't natural" to a gay person. One could argue both statements are true but they're not very nice.
But I could well just be suffering from Monday afternoon grumpiness so maybe don't take that offensively if you can help it. "
Is it really the same?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One could argue being on the swinging scene is greedy. Whether you're the straightest swinger in town or not. Being open to, potentially, having sex with a person regardless of gender is no big deal to my eyes.
To my ears, though, saying "you're just greedy" to someone who is prepared to admit they are bi is the same as saying "what you do isn't natural" to a gay person. One could argue both statements are true but they're not very nice.
But I could well just be suffering from Monday afternoon grumpiness so maybe don't take that offensively if you can help it.
Is it really the same?! "
That was supposed to say "normal" not "natural" forgive me I'm tired. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I've just got round to reading the article. It's an interesting read and seems honest journalism, definitely true in my experience too.
*sigh*
Sadly in the land of fab, some aspects are better, some worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Didn't know it was, don't care it is, say enough about my sexuality in the forums as it is anyway 
Never been a fan of this Special Day stuff myself.
I didn't read the article, but I've saved it for a relative to digest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not shy about being bi. On here, anyway. In real life, no one needs to know. I’m not ashamed of it or anything I just don’t see the need to tell people. "
I think I'm about to out myself as bi somewhere outside of Fab. Four years ago, I'd have died inside at the thought of that.
Now, it's just a tool in the arsenal, for lack of a better phrase, for something else I want to do in life.
Not nervous, not concerned, even where close family or friends are concerned.
If it wasn't for what I want to do,I'd happily keep it like you, public on Fab and private in public. Gotta war to win though  |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
Yes I am bi !! But for years I repressed my desire due mainly to personal circumstances.Now I am older but free to do as I wish ,and now having fun and loving it .Thank you all you lovely fab people you make me feel I have come home at last |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
I am now very concerned about all the invisible bis around for the rest of the year.. is there a scanner or something so I dont bump into them?
How does it work if you cross time zones, do you suddenly become invisible after midnight? What if you are flying?
Are you invisible under your clothes or do they get he invisibility thing too. How do you know you look good if you cant se yourself in the mirror 364 days a year? How do haircuts work?
Fuck. So many questions..
Help please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m bi but only accepted that last Feb, and only a few trusted friends know away from Fab. My family are not accepting of bisexuality at all, so are unaware. I have a couple of gay cousins who are tolerated, but the odd jibe can be made about them, and they still like to make the “cock in shit” or “just because he likes it up the arse” comments.
Sadly you can’t always educate or change the behaviour of others. I love my family, and don’t want to be disowned, so keep things to myself- besides which, my sex life is my own affair x Viv x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a gay work colleague on a works night out we were the last two at the pub, he was d*unk and deliberately provoking straight men he was being a right arse, he then asked me if there was only one man or one woman left who would I go with and I said both I am bi he looked shocked, and it shut him up as he was provoking a reaction from me and I told him honestly I was bi, lol he thinks I was joking and we have never discusses it ever again. Personally it's no one's business I am only bi within the swing lifestyle and not in my normal life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am bi and enjoy meeting different people...the social side is as important as playing...always happy to be in a club or meeting fellow fabbers whatever there sexuality or kink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not shy about being bi. On here, anyway. In real life, no one needs to know. I’m not ashamed of it or anything I just don’t see the need to tell people. "
My views exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not shy about being bi. On here, anyway. In real life, no one needs to know. I’m not ashamed of it or anything I just don’t see the need to tell people. "
A few months ago I broke up a relationship I was in with a lady. We had been together for about 8 months and there was several reasons for the break up. My being bi was not one of them. She was fine with me being bi, and when I told her early on in the relationship about being bi she was fine with it. In fact she said to me if I had any male bi friends that she would like to see me play with one and get involved herself. We did this more than once and she loved it. After the break up she said she would destroy me and my reputation, nobody outside our relationship knew about my bi side except for some friends in the LBGT community who used a pub that we frequented. A couple of weeks after the break up I was in that local pub chatting with some friends, both male and female - most of whom are in the LBGT community - when one of them told me that my ex gf had been spreading word round about me being bi, plus showing some pictures on her phone she'd taken of me when I cross dressed for her. I wasn't very happy at what she had done but one of the gay guys said she'd done me a favour really as now the folks around our friendship knew I'm bi that made things easier in some ways when chatting amongst ourselves knowing I'm not anti LBGT. Also I felt a lot easier knowing that my secret was out, but, I still don't let strangers know about my sexuality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not shy about being bi. On here, anyway. In real life, no one needs to know. I’m not ashamed of it or anything I just don’t see the need to tell people.
A few months ago I broke up a relationship I was in with a lady. We had been together for about 8 months and there was several reasons for the break up. My being bi was not one of them. She was fine with me being bi, and when I told her early on in the relationship about being bi she was fine with it. In fact she said to me if I had any male bi friends that she would like to see me play with one and get involved herself. We did this more than once and she loved it. After the break up she said she would destroy me and my reputation, nobody outside our relationship knew about my bi side except for some friends in the LBGT community who used a pub that we frequented. A couple of weeks after the break up I was in that local pub chatting with some friends, both male and female - most of whom are in the LBGT community - when one of them told me that my ex gf had been spreading word round about me being bi, plus showing some pictures on her phone she'd taken of me when I cross dressed for her. I wasn't very happy at what she had done but one of the gay guys said she'd done me a favour really as now the folks around our friendship knew I'm bi that made things easier in some ways when chatting amongst ourselves knowing I'm not anti LBGT. Also I felt a lot easier knowing that my secret was out, but, I still don't let strangers know about my sexuality. "
I am glad it ended positively for you, though how awful of her, and a relationship is a private affair between two people, when it breaks up there should be an understanding that it stays private, and I can't understand how people can be so cruel and nasty, but I wish you all the best xx |
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My son came out to me as bisexual when he was 17, I always thought he was gay so I told him bisexual was just an extra part of him that I wasn’t aware of.
When discussing it at work with a colleague who was now in a same sex relationship with a lady after being engaged to a man years before she said there was no such thing as bisexuality and my son was gay but confused!! She was really adamant that people who are bisexual are really gay!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son came out to me as bisexual when he was 17, I always thought he was gay so I told him bisexual was just an extra part of him that I wasn’t aware of.
When discussing it at work with a colleague who was now in a same sex relationship with a lady after being engaged to a man years before she said there was no such thing as bisexuality and my son was gay but confused!! She was really adamant that people who are bisexual are really gay!
"
I think your colleague is either a little misinformed or simply anti bisexual. Gays in the LBGT group that I know said to me that they're gay and only attracted to the same sex and have absolutely no interest in the opposite sex at all. They told me they're not jealous of us bisexuals and said there's room in this world for people of all sexual persuasions, it's just bigotry that has to be overcome. |
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"My son came out to me as bisexual when he was 17, I always thought he was gay so I told him bisexual was just an extra part of him that I wasn’t aware of.
When discussing it at work with a colleague who was now in a same sex relationship with a lady after being engaged to a man years before she said there was no such thing as bisexuality and my son was gay but confused!! She was really adamant that people who are bisexual are really gay!
I think your colleague is either a little misinformed or simply anti bisexual. Gays in the LBGT group that I know said to me that they're gay and only attracted to the same sex and have absolutely no interest in the opposite sex at all. They told me they're not jealous of us bisexuals and said there's room in this world for people of all sexual persuasions, it's just bigotry that has to be overcome. "
She is a bit of an awkward person and just wanted to have an opinion and this gave her the most attention. Probably has no recollection of saying it and if we were having a similar conversation today she would have a different opinion. You would think when she is gay she would have a more understanding attitude to others or maybe that's me being presumptuous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always considered everyone to be a subtle shade of lilac and no one to be pink or blue.
Enough alcohol, cash or someone particularly attractive can turn even the straightest person bi.
I find the vast majority of men grotesque, it's almost unknown for me to find a man attractive but occasionally an older man can get a second glance.
I like the idea of being with a man a fancy, but I don't generally fancy a man.
Women on the other hand almost all of them attract me to some degree. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I always considered everyone to be a subtle shade of lilac and no one to be pink or blue.
Enough alcohol, cash or someone particularly attractive can turn even the straightest person bi.
I find the vast majority of men grotesque, it's almost unknown for me to find a man attractive but occasionally an older man can get a second glance.
I like the idea of being with a man a fancy, but I don't generally fancy a man.
Women on the other hand almost all of them attract me to some degree."
I will have to disagree with you there. The vast majority of CIS people are quite firmly in the pink or blue camps. To get someone inebriated enough for them to consider otherwise would imply a lack of consent. And throwing money into it, well that's just desperate. Smacks of coercion or prostitution. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With the exception of one other person off here, Fab is the only place I feel comfortable being openly bisexual. Having lived for 45 years plus as if I was straight, denying the possibility of being bisexual, despite contradictory experiences, l find too difficult to undo. Therefore the only person who needed to know, I finally found the courage to tell early this year. |
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"I'm only openly bisexual on here and apart from one or two relatively minor instances (bigots in threads) have only ever had positive experiences with people in the overwhelming majority either being accepting or welcoming of my bisexuality.
I know that is vastly different from real world experiences though and having read that article it doesn't surprise me the reactions that people being totally open and honest in their day to day lives get - not sure whether the stigma that still exists around bisexuality in general is because of fear, lack of understanding or perhaps a mixture of both but it does seem to be one of the last taboos around sexuality in the wider context of society at large and even to an extent in the so called liberated and open-minded world of swinging - a good example of this being that male bisexuality is still frowned on in most clubs unless it's on a designated bi night."
Your opening paragraph is so not true, this never read the rest ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Inequality I say, nobody bats an eyelid if a woman is bi, a guy being bi somehow is made out to be seedy. Why, we ain't doing nothing a woman wouldn't do! This , exactly this .!!"
It is one of those that will never go away..it's a bit like if a lady sunbathes naked and neighbour sees her and he sees her she can complain of peeping Tom but if other way around he can be done for exposure. ..some things have a stigma that thru ignorance may never go away...my gf and I had this conversation yesterday...two women playing and most guys finding out love it , two guys playing and most guys finding out would be throwing jibes , derision..it's the way of it, such is life...no wish to offend anyone just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I can see bi men get a raw deal on here and subsequently complain, I have seen plenty of bi profiles where they are discriminating against or excluding gay men. Just saying |
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