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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket? |
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"
I would, if they dont stick by you why should you bother? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had a conversation with
A person about a friend who had a baby and just asked if they had seen them and were they ok ra ra ra and she told the said person i was gossiping about her! Actually gob smacked as iv always been so kind and to imply id be hurtful is mental! She also said she got told it by another friend which is friggin window licking crazy because i had it with her!
Talk about the wheels spinning but the hamsters
Dead x |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
o o OO o o |
"I had a conversation with
A person about a friend who had a baby and just asked if they had seen them and were they ok ra ra ra and she told the said person i was gossiping about her! Actually gob smacked as iv always been so kind and to imply id be hurtful is mental! She also said she got told it by another friend which is friggin window licking crazy because i had it with her!
Talk about the wheels spinning but the hamsters
Dead x "
Then i’d personally distance myself.
If they are so quick to believe other people instead of coming to you and asking you directly, like a grown up, then i’d fuck them off. Permanently. |
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"
Wow that sounds rough and a bit unfair if the people you are close to won't give you the benefit of the doubt.
I would probably give it another go just to get my point across however it may make me feel differently about them. |
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Sounds like a pot stirrer, they can't live without causing drama & your just the latest target.
Just remind yourself that they must have an intensely boring life to be behaving like that.
Personality, I cut folk like that out. Can not be bothered with it. |
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Yes.
Very recently, explaining to a very dear friend how I was feeling.
I don't regret what I wrote, as it's how I felt, but I could have worded it better, avoided a lot of confusion, misunderstanding & hurt.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She's in a sad situation and trying to be what she couldn't be.
Im very shocked and iv apologised to her if i upset her but that she has misunderstood.
Shame really but hey ho! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds like handbags to me, if you lose them over such a pathetic reason I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest."
No i agree, just a little disappointed |
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"Sounds like handbags to me, if you lose them over such a pathetic reason I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.
No i agree, just a little disappointed "
I can understand being disappointed but at least you know now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x |
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"
I've been in that situation to and it normally sorts itself out in the end.
Chucking it in the fuck it box depends on how much you value their friendship. Maybe they need time to think about things and will contact you at some point but there's no point throwing away good friends unless you know there's nothing to resolve.
I hope things resolve for you. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I've been in a similar situation - where possible if you clarify your intent and what happened then it normally resolves itself. I do think the strength of the friendship comes into play as well as the maturity of both parties; if it means a lot to you and you're both willing to openly communicate about it then it fixes itself. If not? Meh, you're better off without them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x"
Yes iv done that today actually and she is fine ,im trying to sort it xx |
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If you're ok with the person you "gossiped" about I'd forget the other two.
How did you voice your concerns? Did you use language like you used about the others further up? Why did you ask someone else and not the person you were concerned about?
I'm not disbelieving you, just trying to see the bigger picture and why someone would interpret your actions differently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let it all cool down for a few days, maybe a week, and then approach it again when you and everyone else is calm. Until then please dont give any fucks to it, please  |
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"
Every day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x
Yes iv done that today actually and she is fine ,im trying to sort it xx"
That's great 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"
Yes, quite a few times. It's partially my fault as I don't always explain myself very well. I do tend to clash with certain people though, theyve a tendency to distort what I've said, to make me look stupid, or the guilty party.
Stand up to those kind of people, if you've not done anything wrong, then push back.. Hard! They'll think twice before doing it again.
Pays to check yo'self first though, talk to a close friend who you know says things as they see them. Perhaps it is you, you've only just realised, or yet to realise, you may be partially, or completely at fault. Takes a brave kind of person to hold their hands up and apologise once they know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?
I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!
And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!
Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?
Yes, quite a few times. It's partially my fault as I don't always explain myself very well. I do tend to clash with certain people though, theyve a tendency to distort what I've said, to make me look stupid, or the guilty party.
Stand up to those kind of people, if you've not done anything wrong, then push back.. Hard! They'll think twice before doing it again.
Pays to check yo'self first though, talk to a close friend who you know says things as they see them. Perhaps it is you, you've only just realised, or yet to realise, you may be partially, or completely at fault. Takes a brave kind of person to hold their hands up and apologise once they know."
I agree, good idea to check with someone impartial but truthful. Might just be the way you said it.
If they don't listen to your explanation/ apology, don't beat yourself up about it. You know what you meant OP. |
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