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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d be an early victim, taken out whilst busy reassuring everyone it was a figment of their imagination.
If I survived as far as the terrified ‘running through a wood’ bit I reckon I’d have a good chance by then though. I’m pretty good at outdoor direction finding. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
No volunteering, no wandering away from the group.
Never investigate a strange noise.
Find a big sharp pointy thing or better still a big shooting thing, stand in the corner and wait till daylight.
I'm in it for the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Um, not very long. I think I'd be the useless one sobbing in the corner. I'd be an easy kill.
(IF ANYONE IS SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT MURDERING ME PLEASE DON'T I'M JUST KIDDING I'M NOT AN EASY KILL AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH ME!! YEAH YOU BETTER BE SCARED!)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Um, not very long. I think I'd be the useless one sobbing in the corner. I'd be an easy kill.
(IF ANYONE IS SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT MURDERING ME PLEASE DON'T I'M JUST KIDDING I'M NOT AN EASY KILL AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH ME!! YEAH YOU BETTER BE SCARED!)
"
Fuck sake guess Ill have to find something else to do for Halloween so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fuck sake guess Ill have to find something else to do for Halloween so"
Yeah you better find something else!! I'll knock you out  I'm so hard *flexes muscles* |
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Remember the golden rules of survival everyone: Don’t have sex - you’ll die! Don’t take drugs - you’ll die! Don’t split up from the group in a wholly chivalrous yet injudicious attempt to check out the darkened cellar/bedroom etc - you’ll die!
Also - if fleeing from the masked killer, be mindful to jog rather than sprint or else you’ll invariably fall arse over head over the obligatory tree root/box/random piece of inconveniently discarded debris and sprain your ankle thus making you the next victim  |
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As a bonus survival technique, when faced with the somewhat ominous threat of a serial killer/monster at large, always be sure to align yourself with any goody two shoes virgins or nerds within your group - for they generally have the best chances to survive |
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"Remember the golden rules of survival everyone: Don’t have sex - you’ll die! Don’t take drugs - you’ll die! Don’t split up from the group in a wholly chivalrous yet injudicious attempt to check out the darkened cellar/bedroom etc - you’ll die!
Also - if fleeing from the masked killer, be mindful to jog rather than sprint or else you’ll invariably fall arse over head over the obligatory tree root/box/random piece of inconveniently discarded debris and sprain your ankle thus making you the next victim "
I’ll add.... don’t say ‘I’ll be right back’, you won’t be; don’t believe the cocky one who yells ‘yes we beat it / got away’ you’re next as the last word escapes your mouth; and always look forwards when running, better chance of survival |
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"As a bonus survival technique, when faced with the somewhat ominous threat of a serial killer/monster at large, always be sure to align yourself with any goody two shoes virgins or nerds within your group - for they generally have the best chances to survive "
Note to director.... need people from outside Fab  |
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"Remember the golden rules of survival everyone: Don’t have sex - you’ll die! Don’t take drugs - you’ll die! Don’t split up from the group in a wholly chivalrous yet injudicious attempt to check out the darkened cellar/bedroom etc - you’ll die!
Also - if fleeing from the masked killer, be mindful to jog rather than sprint or else you’ll invariably fall arse over head over the obligatory tree root/box/random piece of inconveniently discarded debris and sprain your ankle thus making you the next victim
I’ll add.... don’t say ‘I’ll be right back’, you won’t be; don’t believe the cocky one who yells ‘yes we beat it / got away’ you’re next as the last word escapes your mouth "
Ha ha - absolutely, if any one in your group starts to celebrate and gloat that the killer is dead, immediately distance yourself from their immediate proximity as their gory death is imminent  |
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Statistically, as long as their not getting d*unk, engaging in premarital sex and bullying other characters, ladies have a better chance of survival in horror movies.
Therefore, chaps, dress as a woman - it could save your life  |
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I would hope I could survive most of the film by not popping down to the cellar, not popping up to the attic, not popping out to the barn, not popping out to investigate that weird noise we all hear, not popping out to the woods to find that mysterious cave everyone talks about, I think I got it sussed |
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Another quickie tip: Never ever travel by car when a killer is at large; It will inevitably not start when you need it to and/or will break down at the very worst possible moment - both of which may well lead to your grisly demise.
Instead always travel by bike, especially one with a basket on the front as if your lucky, ET might be sitting in it and you can fly to safety |
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