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The Week in Tory (again)
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"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them." They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.. | |||
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"@RussInCheshire had some time off but he's returned with an updated list of fun facts from the last few weeks. 1. Theresa May couldn’t agree a Withdrawal Agreement (WI) because – in news that will shock the millions who warned about this – it’s impossible due do without accepting EU rules, or harming NI, or breaking up the UK, or crippling the economy, or all of the above 2. Nevertheless, Boris Johnson agreed a WI from the EU 3. Then Tories voted to accelerate the Withdrawal Agreement through parliament, specifically so it wouldn’t have to face scrutiny 4. And Boris Johnson withdrew the whip – sacked – 21 Tories who didn’t support the delay 5. Then he won an election by promising the WI was "oven-ready" and "brilliant" 6. Later, in a massive shock, it was discovered the WI contains all the problems that prevented May from agreeing it 7. So the govt announced it would just break the law and ignore its own treaty 8. Each MP’s Oath of Allegiance includes "I will give my loyalty to the United Kingdom… uphold its democratic values … and observe laws faithfully" 9. All 5 living ex-PM’s oppose this plan 10. Every living ex-Tory leader opposes it (except IDS, but c’mon, it’s IDS) 11. So now the govt which sacked 21 MPs for opposing the WI is threatening to sack any MPs who support the same WI 12. The actual Police Minister said it’s OK to break the law 13. The Lord Chancellor, Britain’s highest law officer, said it’s OK to break the law 14. The Attorney General, responsible for advising the govt on legal matters, said it’s OK to break the law 15. The Lord Chancellor and Attorney General are barristers, and the Bar Council guidelines say you will be struck-off if you "knowingly advise a client to break the law" 16. Same day, Foreign Secretary and irony no-fly-zone Dominic Raab said Iran "must comply with its legal commitments and treaties" 17. Gavin Williamson and Mark Francois were nominated for the MP Of The Year Award 18. This was the last known sighting of Mark Francois 19. Michael Gove said in a July speech "failures of policy and judgement", are generating a "crisis of authority" and "Politicians like me must take responsibility for the effect of their actions" 20. Gavin Williamson is still in his job 21. But the head of Ofqual was sacked 22. And the most senior education civil servant had to stand down 23. In fact, resignations by senior civil servants are up 14% in a year 24. But 44% of new senior appointments are personal friends of Michael Gove, in one of those amazing coincidence things 25. Other amazing coincidences, a sub-thread: a. Public First, a company led by Govt and Cummings associates, was handed a contract to help Ofqual with the exams fiasco. The contract wasn’t put out to tender b. Gove appointed ex-girlfriend Simone Finn as adviser to Cabinet Office. Finn immediately paid her own company to "shake up the Cabinet Office" c. Gove handed a contract (without tender) to PWC, a company that pays him £5000 per hour to give speeches d. Gove gave £21k to Signal AI, a company associated with Gove and Cummings, to ask Tunisians what they think about Covid e. Faculty AI, associated with Gove and Cummings, got £400k to analyse tweets by UK citizens. So if I vanish one dark night, tell my family I tolerated them f. And another contract went to the cousin of Tory MP Tom Tugendhat to "analyse the awarding of govt contracts", which is like a spiral, wrapped inside a Möbius strip, encased in a corkscrew, and tethered to a twat 26. Anyway, back to the fun: Home Secretary and Nurse Ratched cosplayer Priti Patel authorised “more painful” Taser guns, clearly anticipating more determined rioters 27. She then abandoned a deportation flight after it was found every passenger had leave to stay in the UK 28. Matt Hancock said we should get back to work as there is "little evidence" coronavirus is passed on in offices, having seen Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings catch coronavirus in their office 29. Then he voted for himself to continue to work remotely for 11 more weeks 30. Tories told us to lose weight 31. Then they paid us to go and eat out 32. Then they told us face-masks were essential 33. But not in schools 34. Then they were essential in schools 35. Then they told us to keep social distancing 36. Then they held a meeting of 50 PMs in a room with a capacity for 29 37. Then only 8 minutes later, they tweeted that the were updating advice to ban meeting in groups of 30 38. Then they banned you from meeting more than 6 people 39. But you can still go to the pub, 30 of you can attend a wedding or (more likely) a funeral, 30 of you get in a rugby scrum, and you can sit on a packed train carriage with 80 other people 40. Oh, and obviously, grouse-shooting is exempt. After all, what are we: French!? 41. And the new ban didn’t start for a week, and excluded the St Leger horse racing meet, where 3640 people crowded together making money for The Jockey Club; and isn’t it amazing that Matt Hancock is MP for Newmarket, where his major donors The Jockey Club are based? 42. So now the R number (which Boris Johnson was "absolutely committed to keeping below 1") is at 1.7 43. Matt Hancock made a big deal of £60k compensation for families of NHS workers who died fighting Covid. The govt simultaneously stopped all their benefits 44. Hancock then started a scheme to financially support those forced to self-isolate, paying them up to (that’s “up to”) £13 a day 45. In preparation for the forthcoming homelessness epidemic, Tory councils voted to fine people £1000 for being too poor have anywhere to sleep 46. The govt said it was "ramping up to 150k tests a fortnight" 3 months after they claimed they were doing "over 100k tests a week" 47. Matt Hancock said he was changing the law to allow nurses to give flu vaccinations, unaware nurses already give over 93% of flu vaccinations 48. Then he launched a campaign to fight obesity, and immediately closed the agency responsible for delivering it 49. And then he advertised for a person to replace the head of Public Health England. The advert said no experience in health is required. In a pandemic. 50. The govt announced Operation Moonshot!, an exciting-sounding £100bn plan to test 10m people a day using technology that doesn’t exist, delivered by the people behind the PPE crisis, Brexit, Gavin Williamson, and Chris Grayling literally failing his own intelligence test 51. Meanwhile, we ran out of home testing kits 52. Then more shortages led us sending people on 500-mile round trips for a Covid test, in what experts have dubbed “the full Cummings Experience” 53. Six months after the first case in the UK, despite having diligently spent over £1bn on contracts with sweet suppliers and dormant companies with no employees, the UK still is not capable of producing a single piece of hospital-standard PPE 54. Researchers from King’s College London found Tories “employed overt disinformation” with “new levels of impunity” in the 2019 General Election 55. The govt was “formally warned for threatening press freedom” (putting us in the same classification as Russia) by the Council of Europe, which the UK co-founded in 1949 to protect human rights 56. It was then reported Boris Johnson plans to opt out of human rights laws 57. Meanwhile, a cross-party group of MPs is threatening to sue Boris Johnson if he continues to ignore calls for an enquiry into Russian interference in UK politics. People connected to the Putin regime paid £160k to play tennis with Boris Johnson 58. The leader of Scottish Tories tweeted “I would have no hesitation in voting against any legislation which would allow chlorinated chicken or hormone-injected beef. That’s a categorical assurance.” 59. He then voted to allow chlorinated chicken and hormone-injected beef 60. The govt voted not to implement the recommendations of the Grenfell Tower enquiry 61. The Secretary of State for Work and Pensions was quoted as saying “it is not my job to worry about people starving to death in the UK” 62. The govt announced new Covid restrictions with a densely worded 10-page legal document, released at 11.38pm on Sunday night, just 22 minutes before police, hospitals, health officials, local councils, schools and businesses had to implement them 63. The document ends: “no impact assessment has been done”, surprising nobody familiar with Brexit 64. Environment news, and as a liveable world slips relentlessly from our grasp, the UK spent just £2000 – not a typo - tackling environmental damage to the British countryside 65. They spent £46m (2300 times as much) telling us to get ready for a Brexit that didn’t happen 66. And the Tory-appointed head of the Environment Agency endorsed proposals to weaken laws on the cleanliness of rivers, lakes and coastlines 67. Meanwhile the Fisheries Minister posed "catching mackerel" with a rod that had no line in a sea that has no mackerel, and I had to order a fresh barrel of satire 68. Nine months into Boris Johnson’s "levelling up" agenda, the gap between rich and poor pupils has grown 46% 69. And finally, because no list of abject failure is complete without him, Chris Grayling literally resigned from Intelligence " You must have a sad life being able to write all this pointless crap.Also how can Grayling resign from intelligence he does not have any to start with lol | |||
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"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.." ... indeed, cultism before our very eyes    | |||
"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.." Replace the l with an n and that gives us a more accurate assessment | |||
" You must have a sad life being able to write all this pointless crap.Also how can Grayling resign from intelligence he does not have any to start with lol" I don't write it, @RussInCheshire does. I just copied it from his page on the thread unroller. If I researched all that I'd probably lose my mind. And you've objected to the Grayling point. Any of the rest of it you don't agree with? Obviously you'll be showing your working along with your objections? | |||
"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.. Replace the l with an n and that gives us a more accurate assessment "Was christened a Catholic..  | |||
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"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.. ... indeed, cultism before our very eyes "Reporting the truth, even with a touch of humour, is reporting the truth. It is not cultism I suppose being heavily into cultism yourself, you wouldn't realise that. | |||
"God.... you write some bollocks" Which part of the OP isn’t true?? | |||
"God.... you write some bollocks Which part of the OP isn’t true?? " I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you get a wonderful and comprehensive answer. | |||
"God.... you write some bollocks Which part of the OP isn’t true?? I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you get a wonderful and comprehensive answer." Yeah, I am looking forward to it | |||
"God.... you write some bollocks" Ironically...  | |||
"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.. ... indeed, cultism before our very eyes "Imagine thinking 'no you!' is a good comeback. | |||
"Russ has done about 15 of these now and he's finding fresh material every time! And still people defend them. They will to their dying day some of them.. Cultism.. ... indeed, cultism before our very eyes
Imagine thinking 'no you!' is a good comeback. "Lighthearted ... very much in line with the nature of the op. | |||
"God.... you write some bollocks" A concise critique. | |||
"Point 25. f. is the one that I "enjoyed" the most. I say it every time this comes out. Can you imagine the hue and cry arising from the media if this list was about a Labour government? Yet this lot are basically getting a free pass from the majority of the print and TV news." Agreed. I quite liked 25 e), too. It's all quite a litany of incompetence and failure, isn't it? Apparently, even Fraser Nelson thinks Boris has only got six months to save his premiership. | |||
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"Christopher grayling has been appointed advisor for Hutchinson ports. He will be paid 100k a year for 7 hours work a week. And people still believe that if you work hard in life you get what you want in life." Well with his huge success at overseeing railways and his unique talent for ferry spotting he was obviously a shoo in. "It's not what you know it's who you know" was never a more apt maxim. | |||
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"Christopher grayling has been appointed advisor for Hutchinson ports. He will be paid 100k a year for 7 hours work a week. And people still believe that if you work hard in life you get what you want in life. Well with his huge success at overseeing railways and his unique talent for ferry spotting he was obviously a shoo in. "It's not what you know it's who you know" was never a more apt maxim." V true | |||
"40. Oh, and obviously, grouse-shooting is exempt. After all, what are we: French!? I'm still laughing about this "It's lawful to have 30 or so shooting grouse but only 6 can bird watch..  | |||
"Christopher grayling has been appointed advisor for Hutchinson ports. He will be paid 100k a year for 7 hours work a week. And people still believe that if you work hard in life you get what you want in life. Well with his huge success at overseeing railways and his unique talent for ferry spotting he was obviously a shoo in. "It's not what you know it's who you know" was never a more apt maxim. V true" Maybe he'll advice on costings.. | |||
"I sometimes wonder about Grayling. I wonder if there was a Frankenstein's monster situation with him, where the aim was to create the ultimate man. Only the experiment went horribly wrong and the world ended up with the ultimate idiot." No thats Hancock | |||
"@RussInCheshire had some time off but he's returned with an updated list of fun facts from the last few weeks. 1. Theresa May couldn’t agree a Withdrawal Agreement (WI) because – in news that will shock the millions who warned about this – it’s impossible due do without accepting EU rules, or harming NI, or breaking up the UK, or crippling the economy, or all of the above 2. Nevertheless, Boris Johnson agreed a WI from the EU 3. Then Tories voted to accelerate the Withdrawal Agreement through parliament, specifically so it wouldn’t have to face scrutiny 4. And Boris Johnson withdrew the whip – sacked – 21 Tories who didn’t support the delay 5. Then he won an election by promising the WI was "oven-ready" and "brilliant" 6. Later, in a massive shock, it was discovered the WI contains all the problems that prevented May from agreeing it 7. So the govt announced it would just break the law and ignore its own treaty 8. Each MP’s Oath of Allegiance includes "I will give my loyalty to the United Kingdom… uphold its democratic values … and observe laws faithfully" 9. All 5 living ex-PM’s oppose this plan 10. Every living ex-Tory leader opposes it (except IDS, but c’mon, it’s IDS) 11. So now the govt which sacked 21 MPs for opposing the WI is threatening to sack any MPs who support the same WI 12. The actual Police Minister said it’s OK to break the law 13. The Lord Chancellor, Britain’s highest law officer, said it’s OK to break the law 14. The Attorney General, responsible for advising the govt on legal matters, said it’s OK to break the law 15. The Lord Chancellor and Attorney General are barristers, and the Bar Council guidelines say you will be struck-off if you "knowingly advise a client to break the law" 16. Same day, Foreign Secretary and irony no-fly-zone Dominic Raab said Iran "must comply with its legal commitments and treaties" 17. Gavin Williamson and Mark Francois were nominated for the MP Of The Year Award 18. This was the last known sighting of Mark Francois 19. Michael Gove said in a July speech "failures of policy and judgement", are generating a "crisis of authority" and "Politicians like me must take responsibility for the effect of their actions" 20. Gavin Williamson is still in his job 21. But the head of Ofqual was sacked 22. And the most senior education civil servant had to stand down 23. In fact, resignations by senior civil servants are up 14% in a year 24. But 44% of new senior appointments are personal friends of Michael Gove, in one of those amazing coincidence things 25. Other amazing coincidences, a sub-thread: a. Public First, a company led by Govt and Cummings associates, was handed a contract to help Ofqual with the exams fiasco. The contract wasn’t put out to tender b. Gove appointed ex-girlfriend Simone Finn as adviser to Cabinet Office. Finn immediately paid her own company to "shake up the Cabinet Office" c. Gove handed a contract (without tender) to PWC, a company that pays him £5000 per hour to give speeches d. Gove gave £21k to Signal AI, a company associated with Gove and Cummings, to ask Tunisians what they think about Covid e. Faculty AI, associated with Gove and Cummings, got £400k to analyse tweets by UK citizens. So if I vanish one dark night, tell my family I tolerated them f. And another contract went to the cousin of Tory MP Tom Tugendhat to "analyse the awarding of govt contracts", which is like a spiral, wrapped inside a Möbius strip, encased in a corkscrew, and tethered to a twat 26. Anyway, back to the fun: Home Secretary and Nurse Ratched cosplayer Priti Patel authorised “more painful” Taser guns, clearly anticipating more determined rioters 27. She then abandoned a deportation flight after it was found every passenger had leave to stay in the UK 28. Matt Hancock said we should get back to work as there is "little evidence" coronavirus is passed on in offices, having seen Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings catch coronavirus in their office 29. Then he voted for himself to continue to work remotely for 11 more weeks 30. Tories told us to lose weight 31. Then they paid us to go and eat out 32. Then they told us face-masks were essential 33. But not in schools 34. Then they were essential in schools 35. Then they told us to keep social distancing 36. Then they held a meeting of 50 PMs in a room with a capacity for 29 37. Then only 8 minutes later, they tweeted that the were updating advice to ban meeting in groups of 30 38. Then they banned you from meeting more than 6 people 39. But you can still go to the pub, 30 of you can attend a wedding or (more likely) a funeral, 30 of you get in a rugby scrum, and you can sit on a packed train carriage with 80 other people 40. Oh, and obviously, grouse-shooting is exempt. After all, what are we: French!? 41. And the new ban didn’t start for a week, and excluded the St Leger horse racing meet, where 3640 people crowded together making money for The Jockey Club; and isn’t it amazing that Matt Hancock is MP for Newmarket, where his major donors The Jockey Club are based? 42. So now the R number (which Boris Johnson was "absolutely committed to keeping below 1") is at 1.7 43. Matt Hancock made a big deal of £60k compensation for families of NHS workers who died fighting Covid. The govt simultaneously stopped all their benefits 44. Hancock then started a scheme to financially support those forced to self-isolate, paying them up to (that’s “up to”) £13 a day 45. In preparation for the forthcoming homelessness epidemic, Tory councils voted to fine people £1000 for being too poor have anywhere to sleep 46. The govt said it was "ramping up to 150k tests a fortnight" 3 months after they claimed they were doing "over 100k tests a week" 47. Matt Hancock said he was changing the law to allow nurses to give flu vaccinations, unaware nurses already give over 93% of flu vaccinations 48. Then he launched a campaign to fight obesity, and immediately closed the agency responsible for delivering it 49. And then he advertised for a person to replace the head of Public Health England. The advert said no experience in health is required. In a pandemic. 50. The govt announced Operation Moonshot!, an exciting-sounding £100bn plan to test 10m people a day using technology that doesn’t exist, delivered by the people behind the PPE crisis, Brexit, Gavin Williamson, and Chris Grayling literally failing his own intelligence test 51. Meanwhile, we ran out of home testing kits 52. Then more shortages led us sending people on 500-mile round trips for a Covid test, in what experts have dubbed “the full Cummings Experience” 53. Six months after the first case in the UK, despite having diligently spent over £1bn on contracts with sweet suppliers and dormant companies with no employees, the UK still is not capable of producing a single piece of hospital-standard PPE 54. Researchers from King’s College London found Tories “employed overt disinformation” with “new levels of impunity” in the 2019 General Election 55. The govt was “formally warned for threatening press freedom” (putting us in the same classification as Russia) by the Council of Europe, which the UK co-founded in 1949 to protect human rights 56. It was then reported Boris Johnson plans to opt out of human rights laws 57. Meanwhile, a cross-party group of MPs is threatening to sue Boris Johnson if he continues to ignore calls for an enquiry into Russian interference in UK politics. People connected to the Putin regime paid £160k to play tennis with Boris Johnson 58. The leader of Scottish Tories tweeted “I would have no hesitation in voting against any legislation which would allow chlorinated chicken or hormone-injected beef. That’s a categorical assurance.” 59. He then voted to allow chlorinated chicken and hormone-injected beef 60. The govt voted not to implement the recommendations of the Grenfell Tower enquiry 61. The Secretary of State for Work and Pensions was quoted as saying “it is not my job to worry about people starving to death in the UK” 62. The govt announced new Covid restrictions with a densely worded 10-page legal document, released at 11.38pm on Sunday night, just 22 minutes before police, hospitals, health officials, local councils, schools and businesses had to implement them 63. The document ends: “no impact assessment has been done”, surprising nobody familiar with Brexit 64. Environment news, and as a liveable world slips relentlessly from our grasp, the UK spent just £2000 – not a typo - tackling environmental damage to the British countryside 65. They spent £46m (2300 times as much) telling us to get ready for a Brexit that didn’t happen 66. And the Tory-appointed head of the Environment Agency endorsed proposals to weaken laws on the cleanliness of rivers, lakes and coastlines 67. Meanwhile the Fisheries Minister posed "catching mackerel" with a rod that had no line in a sea that has no mackerel, and I had to order a fresh barrel of satire 68. Nine months into Boris Johnson’s "levelling up" agenda, the gap between rich and poor pupils has grown 46% 69. And finally, because no list of abject failure is complete without him, Chris Grayling literally resigned from Intelligence " If it hasn’t affected a TP voter then its forgivable. Don’t provide evidence it depresses them, be positive. | |||
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"So glad I've got better things to do than write pages of crap like that "It’s difficult, isn’t it, when faced with a comprehensive list of the incompetence and cronyism of the people you support, to muster a decent response. What part of it do you think is crap by the way? | |||
"So glad I've got better things to do than write pages of crap like that
It’s difficult, isn’t it, when faced with a comprehensive list of the incompetence and cronyism of the people you support, to muster a decent response.
What part of it do you think is crap by the way?"That question assumes they actually read it all; which is highly unlikely. | |||
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"So glad I've got better things to do than write pages of crap like that "Yet you took the time to read it and comment on it  | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
"...and the reported Italy trip. | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party "What's the banking leaks? | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?"Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked. | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked. "Thought that was well known? Just seen the Perugia thing. | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party "Shhhh, you aren’t allowed to criticism the government | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked.
Thought that was well known?
Just seen the Perugia thing."Well yes but this puts meat on the bones. A few people will be looking over their shoulder after this one. | |||
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"After just 4 days @russincheshire has enough for another #weekintory. I'm on mobile and can't copy it yet but check his twitter for more fun & games "This is a very sad game for the UK | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked.
Thought that was well known?
Just seen the Perugia thing.
"Damn, the airport made a mistake. I so wanted that one to be true! ;-) | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked.
Thought that was well known?
Just seen the Perugia thing.
Damn, the airport made a mistake. I so wanted that one to be true!
;-)"
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"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked.
Thought that was well known?
Just seen the Perugia thing.
Damn, the airport made a mistake. I so wanted that one to be true!
;-)"Apparently he has a doppelgänger, let’s hope it is the fake Boris that is doing the Cobra meeting tomorrow | |||
"Have a feeling with the banking leaks. This is going to be another good week for the Tory party
What's the banking leaks?
Been another round of banking leaks. Some murky money being washed in the square mile no questions asked.
Thought that was well known?
Just seen the Perugia thing.
Damn, the airport made a mistake. I so wanted that one to be true!
;-)
Apparently he has a doppelgänger, let’s hope it is the fake Boris that is doing the Cobra meeting tomorrow
"Funniest thing about the apparent non-story was the response when Schapps was asked if Johnson was secretly in Italy on air. He hedged , trotting out the old "not as far as I'm aware" line. Even when they're 99.99% confident of facts, politicians are scared to state them. Especially since Johnson is capable of pulling pretty much any bullshit. | |||
