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The success of the Brexit negotiations show that we're finally getting our country back

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Disclamer: this is directly copied from the independent website and is the work of Mark Steel written 07.09.17.

"Proper British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and weeing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers

They don’t know how it’s going to work or when it will start or who will be allowed here, but the leaked Brexit papers show at last they’re going to STOP THE IMMIGRANTS from doing all those jobs they do. So we can walk past a field in Hereford with tons of rotting apples no one has picked and be PROUD because we’ll be certain no Pole has been picking them off trees, so they can lie on the ground rotting like PROPER BRITISH apples full of BRITISH MAGGOTS because we’ve GOT OUR COUNTRY BACK.

And half the staff in London restaurants are from the EU, but now we can look forward to going out to eat, fetching an empty plate from the kitchen and enjoying an ENGLISH meal, that isn’t cooked or prepared and doesn’t consist of any food so we can look out of the window for an hour and then leave because we’ve got SOVEREIGNTY.

We can lie on hospital trolleys singing the National Anthem between screams, enjoying the freedom of knowing none of our taxes are going towards foreign nurses so we can stick a Union Jack in our open wound as it turns septic, shedding tears of happiness because we’re in charge of our affairs again.

This is the boost the low-paid have been waiting for, because poor wages are caused by immigration. For example, the nurses have gone several years without a rise, because of a pay cap imposed by Bulgarians. The Prime Minister tried her best to give them more money, but Bulgarians took her guinea pig hostage and threatened to squirt carpet cleaner in its eye unless she kept them poor, so what could she do?

The staff at McDonalds went on strike this week against dreadful pay, because Ronald McDonald is a Romanian – the tight-fisted foreign clown, coming over here and setting up burger chains that pay £7 an hour. Luckily, once we’re out of the EU, we’ll rely on investment from America, where I’m sure their burger chains treat staff with far more kindness.

The slogan the Government seems keen to adopt is British jobs for British workers. This may involve a bit of thought, as it’s hard to be sure what a British job is. Making pie and mash is a solid British job – though obviously not the bit involving pastry because that’s French.

Spitfire Pilot is a highly British job – except that one-fifth of them were Polish, and being Jacob Rees-Mogg sounds British but has a whiff of medieval Italian Pope.

But PROPER British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and pissing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers.

The new system will be fair, because foreigners will be entitled to stay here for two years before they’re replaced. This won’t put them off in any way, because all of us, when choosing where to move to, like to select somewhere that’s going to kick us out two years later.

After all, the first questions we ask an estate agent before deciding to relocate are “What are the schools like?”, “Are there nice parks nearby?” and “Do they have a rule that we’ll be kicked out after two years, because we don’t want to become institutionalised?”

This seems only fair, because the 300,000 British who live in Spain are all critical to the local economy. Many of them are top-quality, high-grade criminals. We don’t just send them any local burglar: they get our finest bank robbers, hit men and plotters of major heists, to provide skills the Spanish are often short of.

They also take many of our most talented and professional pensioners, who are so skilful they can live in a Spanish village for twenty years and still not have the slightest idea how to say “please” in anything but English.

So it’s encouraging that the negotiations are going so smoothly. David Davis warned us: “No one said Brexit will be easy,” and this is true, as no one did – except his negotiating colleague Liam Fox, who said a Brexit deal “should be the easiest in history”, but it would be unfair to interpret this as suggesting it might be easy.

In some ways the Conservatives are making it look easy, because they clearly haven’t got the slightest idea what they’re doing. It’s like if I was at a meeting of a Formula 1 team that were asking for ideas about how to improve an engine. I’d just sit there and look at diagrams, occasionally saying, “What’s this bit?” while reading a copy of Viz.

This means some clauses are a slight surprise, such as the rule we have to pay £50bn to leave. Luckily we’re all prepared for this, as this bill was always mentioned throughout the referendum campaign, with complete honesty. Sometimes the exact figures were slightly off, so they came out as £350m every day would come TO us FROM the EU, which we could spend on the National Health Service, but that’s just a detail. Everyone accepted there would be lots of numbers and that’s the main thing.

Because now we can stand in a market and know our beetroot can be triangular without being confiscated by the EU, should we so desire – that’s got to be worth £50bn.

And to make it happen, we have the joy of the government having to introduce Henry VIII laws, so to get out of the outdated bureaucratic EU, we have to go forward into the sixteenth century.

By 1 December they’ll introduce an Ethelred the Unready law, allowing the government to burn down a village and hand our womenfolk to the Danes, because it’s all going brilliantly and makes us PROUD.

Credits: Mark Steel

I had to share

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

he does have a point!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Political forum?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Excellent

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By *ost SockMan  over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss. "

Whole heartily agree, albeit for the leave point of view.

The only thing I know for certain is that whoever is proved right once the dust has settled the "losers" won't accept it gracefully and hold their hands and say sorry, we were wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ah the great eu that would prosper u a all....but in reality we have gone back to the bleak house times of dickens with food banks and soup kitchens.

Well that worked well eh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in "

Sounds like a classic causation by correlation error.

Surely the UK government must have had a hand in those changes?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

Sounds like a classic causation by correlation error.

Surely the UK government must have had a hand in those changes? "

Should have said a bit more to this.

Being in the EU isn't the direct reason for all these to happen, but if things are going downhill while we're in the EU, isn't it better to leave and try and go at it alone?

As the old phrase goes, if nothing changes, it will stay the same. And I believe leaving the EU is the change Britain needs to stop us all slowly going down the pan

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss. "

Not in the politics forum their not. The harder the fact, the greater the evidence, the quicker a Brexiter will dismiss it!

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By *ost SockMan  over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

Not in the politics forum their not. The harder the fact, the greater the evidence, the quicker a Brexiter will dismiss it! "

I used to lurk there and was silently cheering you on the whole time.

I had to stop looking though, for my sanity (and because your photos made my jealous too)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wait till all the Jeremy Kyle watchers are forced out to do these jobs on zero hours contracts and lose there JSA or benefits once they refuse

The Tories then can proclaim what a great job there doing bringing down unemployment

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"Wait till all the Jeremy Kyle watchers are forced out to do these jobs on zero hours contracts and lose there JSA or benefits once they refuse

The Tories then can proclaim what a great job there doing bringing down unemployment "

it's ok for this guy to slag our British young ppl

It's what he does but watch him explode if any says anything negative about young immigrants wtf

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wait till all the Jeremy Kyle watchers are forced out to do these jobs on zero hours contracts and lose there JSA or benefits once they refuse

The Tories then can proclaim what a great job there doing bringing down unemployment it's ok for this guy to slag our British young ppl

It's what he does but watch him explode if any says anything negative about young immigrants wtf "

Were have i slagged off our young people off....this will be reality its happening now....how do you think the Tories can claim the unemployment figures have gone down.

My post wasn't about immigrants...it was about what will happen once they have been kicked ou....something that totally went over your head....as usual

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By *ilent.KnightMan  over a year ago

Swindon


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've not been at war with the Germans

Yea let's start a war

"

FTFY

I'd be interested in seeing how the EU was a major factor to each of these though.

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By *ilent.KnightMan  over a year ago

Swindon


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

Sounds like a classic causation by correlation error.

Surely the UK government must have had a hand in those changes?

Should have said a bit more to this.

Being in the EU isn't the direct reason for all these to happen, but if things are going downhill while we're in the EU, isn't it better to leave and try and go at it alone?

As the old phrase goes, if nothing changes, it will stay the same. And I believe leaving the EU is the change Britain needs to stop us all slowly going down the pan"

The flip side isn't if something changes, it will get better. However I suspect you've done more thinking than that. My fear is many others didn't ....

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"Wait till all the Jeremy Kyle watchers are forced out to do these jobs on zero hours contracts and lose there JSA or benefits once they refuse

The Tories then can proclaim what a great job there doing bringing down unemployment it's ok for this guy to slag our British young ppl

It's what he does but watch him explode if any says anything negative about young immigrants wtf

Were have i slagged off our young people off....this will be reality its happening now....how do you think the Tories can claim the unemployment figures have gone down.

My post wasn't about immigrants...it was about what will happen once they have been kicked ou....something that totally went over your head....as usual "

you called them Jeremy Kyle watchers and said when they refuse the jobs what do you call that a pat on the back lol were did it go over my head if that's you talking nice about them fuck knows what you say when your talking shit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wait till all the Jeremy Kyle watchers are forced out to do these jobs on zero hours contracts and lose there JSA or benefits once they refuse

The Tories then can proclaim what a great job there doing bringing down unemployment it's ok for this guy to slag our British young ppl

It's what he does but watch him explode if any says anything negative about young immigrants wtf

Were have i slagged off our young people off....this will be reality its happening now....how do you think the Tories can claim the unemployment figures have gone down.

My post wasn't about immigrants...it was about what will happen once they have been kicked ou....something that totally went over your head....as usual you called them Jeremy Kyle watchers and said when they refuse the jobs what do you call that a pat on the back lol were did it go over my head if that's you talking nice about them fuck knows what you say when your talking shit "

But were does it say young people....and btw...the youth of this country voted remain and for Labour....im on there side all the way

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby

Aw behave yourself mate you know for a fact you ment the young who else is going to take on the low paid jobs with zero hours contracts

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aw behave yourself mate you know for a fact you ment the young who else is going to take on the low paid jobs with zero hours contracts "

Lots of older people do...in fact there an older guy on another thread saying he has ....most have no choice if there unemployed...that how most if not all employment agencies work

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby

So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol"

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people....

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By *illwill69uMan  over a year ago

moston

Fact is before the referendum we were told an out vote would make Britain great again because the EU was an awful, weak organization that was bad for its members and especially bad for us. Before May triggered article 50 we were told it would be easy provided we had the strong and stable leadership of May and the Tories who would lead us to a red white and blue brexit, and no deal was better than a bad deal.

Now we are being told that the Tories are reintroducing a 500 year old law to give ministers the power to alter laws without parliamentary oversight but only for 2 years after we leave the EU because its the only way to do things. While at the same time we are being also being that the EU negotiators look silly, don't know what they are doing, are too strong and inflexible in protecting EU citizens and member states. Of course at the same time Mrs May's strong and stable government are writing to Japanese car manufacturers giving them secret deals effectively bribing them to stay for a little while after brexit and begging the CEO's of the FTSE100 to sign an open letter saying what a great job they are doing.

And finally has anyone noticed how the brexit hard sell is slowly changing from how great it will be to it won't be as disastrous as many have predicted to we will survive it.

Personally I don't want to survive I want to thrive.

So with any luck come 2022 everyone will have been very rudely awakened and the corrupt self serving ultra right wingers that are the modern tory party will be kicked out of power and we will get the first truly socialist government in 50 years that will work for the majority rather than an elite minority.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

Sounds like a classic causation by correlation error.

Surely the UK government must have had a hand in those changes?

Should have said a bit more to this.

Being in the EU isn't the direct reason for all these to happen, but if things are going downhill while we're in the EU, isn't it better to leave and try and go at it alone?

As the old phrase goes, if nothing changes, it will stay the same. And I believe leaving the EU is the change Britain needs to stop us all slowly going down the pan"

Not really.

There are a great many issues within the eu but since I was 18 Ive found myself dissatisfied with the vast majority of british politicians and their lack of pragmatism and foresight.

The fact is our government could have easily put in legislation to ensure that companies have to provide technical traineeships for nationals, like just about every other memberstate has, the political will just wasnt there.

As for steel and coal, this is largely down to the prior being outcompeted in the country by larger internation companies (outsourcing) and the latter is now more cost than its worth. (Dangerous job, high cost to set up vs too cheap export, then you have carbon tax, and the cost to the taxpayer in the form of eventual environmental damage and air quality decline offset schemes.)

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By *robertsCouple  over a year ago

Leicestershire


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in "

Absolutely spot on pal !

I couldn't have said it better myself.

We don't make or produce anything anymore, we have no industry!

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By *ilent.KnightMan  over a year ago

Swindon


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

Absolutely spot on pal !

I couldn't have said it better myself.

We don't make or produce anything anymore, we have no industry! "

And the EU were complicit in this by ....

Many would argue this was thatcher. Not the EU.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A double dip recession, coal mines have gone, steels almost gone, nhs failing, construction not what it used to be, more food banks than ever

All while we've been in the EU

Yea let's stay in

Absolutely spot on pal !

I couldn't have said it better myself.

We don't make or produce anything anymore, we have no industry! "

And leaving will help how?

EU legislation actually helped safeguard qhat industry we had from being bought up and outsourced in somecases.

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... "

your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Disclamer: this is directly copied from the independent website and is the work of Mark Steel written 07.09.17.

"Proper British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and weeing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers

They don’t know how it’s going to work or when it will start or who will be allowed here, but the leaked Brexit papers show at last they’re going to STOP THE IMMIGRANTS from doing all those jobs they do. So we can walk past a field in Hereford with tons of rotting apples no one has picked and be PROUD because we’ll be certain no Pole has been picking them off trees, so they can lie on the ground rotting like PROPER BRITISH apples full of BRITISH MAGGOTS because we’ve GOT OUR COUNTRY BACK.

And half the staff in London restaurants are from the EU, but now we can look forward to going out to eat, fetching an empty plate from the kitchen and enjoying an ENGLISH meal, that isn’t cooked or prepared and doesn’t consist of any food so we can look out of the window for an hour and then leave because we’ve got SOVEREIGNTY.

We can lie on hospital trolleys singing the National Anthem between screams, enjoying the freedom of knowing none of our taxes are going towards foreign nurses so we can stick a Union Jack in our open wound as it turns septic, shedding tears of happiness because we’re in charge of our affairs again.

This is the boost the low-paid have been waiting for, because poor wages are caused by immigration. For example, the nurses have gone several years without a rise, because of a pay cap imposed by Bulgarians. The Prime Minister tried her best to give them more money, but Bulgarians took her guinea pig hostage and threatened to squirt carpet cleaner in its eye unless she kept them poor, so what could she do?

The staff at McDonalds went on strike this week against dreadful pay, because Ronald McDonald is a Romanian – the tight-fisted foreign clown, coming over here and setting up burger chains that pay £7 an hour. Luckily, once we’re out of the EU, we’ll rely on investment from America, where I’m sure their burger chains treat staff with far more kindness.

The slogan the Government seems keen to adopt is British jobs for British workers. This may involve a bit of thought, as it’s hard to be sure what a British job is. Making pie and mash is a solid British job – though obviously not the bit involving pastry because that’s French.

Spitfire Pilot is a highly British job – except that one-fifth of them were Polish, and being Jacob Rees-Mogg sounds British but has a whiff of medieval Italian Pope.

But PROPER British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and pissing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers.

The new system will be fair, because foreigners will be entitled to stay here for two years before they’re replaced. This won’t put them off in any way, because all of us, when choosing where to move to, like to select somewhere that’s going to kick us out two years later.

After all, the first questions we ask an estate agent before deciding to relocate are “What are the schools like?”, “Are there nice parks nearby?” and “Do they have a rule that we’ll be kicked out after two years, because we don’t want to become institutionalised?”

This seems only fair, because the 300,000 British who live in Spain are all critical to the local economy. Many of them are top-quality, high-grade criminals. We don’t just send them any local burglar: they get our finest bank robbers, hit men and plotters of major heists, to provide skills the Spanish are often short of.

They also take many of our most talented and professional pensioners, who are so skilful they can live in a Spanish village for twenty years and still not have the slightest idea how to say “please” in anything but English.

So it’s encouraging that the negotiations are going so smoothly. David Davis warned us: “No one said Brexit will be easy,” and this is true, as no one did – except his negotiating colleague Liam Fox, who said a Brexit deal “should be the easiest in history”, but it would be unfair to interpret this as suggesting it might be easy.

In some ways the Conservatives are making it look easy, because they clearly haven’t got the slightest idea what they’re doing. It’s like if I was at a meeting of a Formula 1 team that were asking for ideas about how to improve an engine. I’d just sit there and look at diagrams, occasionally saying, “What’s this bit?” while reading a copy of Viz.

This means some clauses are a slight surprise, such as the rule we have to pay £50bn to leave. Luckily we’re all prepared for this, as this bill was always mentioned throughout the referendum campaign, with complete honesty. Sometimes the exact figures were slightly off, so they came out as £350m every day would come TO us FROM the EU, which we could spend on the National Health Service, but that’s just a detail. Everyone accepted there would be lots of numbers and that’s the main thing.

Because now we can stand in a market and know our beetroot can be triangular without being confiscated by the EU, should we so desire – that’s got to be worth £50bn.

And to make it happen, we have the joy of the government having to introduce Henry VIII laws, so to get out of the outdated bureaucratic EU, we have to go forward into the sixteenth century.

By 1 December they’ll introduce an Ethelred the Unready law, allowing the government to burn down a village and hand our womenfolk to the Danes, because it’s all going brilliantly and makes us PROUD.

Credits: Mark Steel

I had to share

"

Utter deluded opinioned shite.

Should say, pay immigrants shit wages and exploit them, instead of paying a decent wage and give better conditions, so at the end of the week, when those have done a job YOU won't do, so you csn shovel a cheaper kebab or pizza down your gullet after swigging beer and spewing up on the street and a low paid 'slave' cleans your spew up, you can say your a proud European.

Ive eorked in orchards, and driven tractors in all weather. And I know for a fact you haven't done anything like that, otherwise you wouldnt have copied and pasted that utter, ignorant shite.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Disclamer: this is directly copied from the independent website and is the work of Mark Steel written 07.09.17.

"Proper British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and weeing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers

They don’t know how it’s going to work or when it will start or who will be allowed here, but the leaked Brexit papers show at last they’re going to STOP THE IMMIGRANTS from doing all those jobs they do. So we can walk past a field in Hereford with tons of rotting apples no one has picked and be PROUD because we’ll be certain no Pole has been picking them off trees, so they can lie on the ground rotting like PROPER BRITISH apples full of BRITISH MAGGOTS because we’ve GOT OUR COUNTRY BACK.

And half the staff in London restaurants are from the EU, but now we can look forward to going out to eat, fetching an empty plate from the kitchen and enjoying an ENGLISH meal, that isn’t cooked or prepared and doesn’t consist of any food so we can look out of the window for an hour and then leave because we’ve got SOVEREIGNTY.

We can lie on hospital trolleys singing the National Anthem between screams, enjoying the freedom of knowing none of our taxes are going towards foreign nurses so we can stick a Union Jack in our open wound as it turns septic, shedding tears of happiness because we’re in charge of our affairs again.

This is the boost the low-paid have been waiting for, because poor wages are caused by immigration. For example, the nurses have gone several years without a rise, because of a pay cap imposed by Bulgarians. The Prime Minister tried her best to give them more money, but Bulgarians took her guinea pig hostage and threatened to squirt carpet cleaner in its eye unless she kept them poor, so what could she do?

The staff at McDonalds went on strike this week against dreadful pay, because Ronald McDonald is a Romanian – the tight-fisted foreign clown, coming over here and setting up burger chains that pay £7 an hour. Luckily, once we’re out of the EU, we’ll rely on investment from America, where I’m sure their burger chains treat staff with far more kindness.

The slogan the Government seems keen to adopt is British jobs for British workers. This may involve a bit of thought, as it’s hard to be sure what a British job is. Making pie and mash is a solid British job – though obviously not the bit involving pastry because that’s French.

Spitfire Pilot is a highly British job – except that one-fifth of them were Polish, and being Jacob Rees-Mogg sounds British but has a whiff of medieval Italian Pope.

But PROPER British jobs such as knight, chimney sweep, coming 26th in Eurovision and pissing in a foreign fountain will be reserved for BRITISH workers.

The new system will be fair, because foreigners will be entitled to stay here for two years before they’re replaced. This won’t put them off in any way, because all of us, when choosing where to move to, like to select somewhere that’s going to kick us out two years later.

After all, the first questions we ask an estate agent before deciding to relocate are “What are the schools like?”, “Are there nice parks nearby?” and “Do they have a rule that we’ll be kicked out after two years, because we don’t want to become institutionalised?”

This seems only fair, because the 300,000 British who live in Spain are all critical to the local economy. Many of them are top-quality, high-grade criminals. We don’t just send them any local burglar: they get our finest bank robbers, hit men and plotters of major heists, to provide skills the Spanish are often short of.

They also take many of our most talented and professional pensioners, who are so skilful they can live in a Spanish village for twenty years and still not have the slightest idea how to say “please” in anything but English.

So it’s encouraging that the negotiations are going so smoothly. David Davis warned us: “No one said Brexit will be easy,” and this is true, as no one did – except his negotiating colleague Liam Fox, who said a Brexit deal “should be the easiest in history”, but it would be unfair to interpret this as suggesting it might be easy.

In some ways the Conservatives are making it look easy, because they clearly haven’t got the slightest idea what they’re doing. It’s like if I was at a meeting of a Formula 1 team that were asking for ideas about how to improve an engine. I’d just sit there and look at diagrams, occasionally saying, “What’s this bit?” while reading a copy of Viz.

This means some clauses are a slight surprise, such as the rule we have to pay £50bn to leave. Luckily we’re all prepared for this, as this bill was always mentioned throughout the referendum campaign, with complete honesty. Sometimes the exact figures were slightly off, so they came out as £350m every day would come TO us FROM the EU, which we could spend on the National Health Service, but that’s just a detail. Everyone accepted there would be lots of numbers and that’s the main thing.

Because now we can stand in a market and know our beetroot can be triangular without being confiscated by the EU, should we so desire – that’s got to be worth £50bn.

And to make it happen, we have the joy of the government having to introduce Henry VIII laws, so to get out of the outdated bureaucratic EU, we have to go forward into the sixteenth century.

By 1 December they’ll introduce an Ethelred the Unready law, allowing the government to burn down a village and hand our womenfolk to the Danes, because it’s all going brilliantly and makes us PROUD.

Credits: Mark Steel

I had to share

"

Do you have thoughts of your own or are you a sheep that relies on others to make your mind up? Never read such utter shite

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Brexitors are deluded to think they will get a good deal lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Brexitors are deluded to think they will get a good deal lol."

Its looking that way unfortunately. Feelings of animosity from the EU with the talk of a 'divorce bill'

Settling an account is acceptable but being fined/punished is another

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had "

Are you a mind reader now ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Brexitors are deluded to think they will get a good deal lol."

As my grandmother said ."A promise is comfort to a fool"

Brexit made to many promises .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

Not in the politics forum their not. The harder the fact, the greater the evidence, the quicker a Brexiter will dismiss it! "

As a forum lurker I feel I must add that the remainders are equally guilty of this. Hard facts don't seem to enter on either side of the argument...why bother with facts when pig ignorance and bullshit is so much easier?

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had

Are you a mind reader now ? "

no but everyone on here can read what you said you like to look down your nose at ppl it's sad realy mate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Brexitors are deluded to think they will get a good deal lol.

As my grandmother said ."A promise is comfort to a fool"

Brexit made to many promises ."

That is right and the brexit debate was dumbed down and will come back to bite markets.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?"

Same here. I cant see that as an attractive proposal for others to want to come to the uk, not sure who draws the plans lol.

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?"

stay away parents lots of ppl work away from home tho and don't take there family don't think many Brits take there family's to Saudi for instance

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?"

Bollocks! Plenty work abroad and don't take their families

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had

Are you a mind reader now ? no but everyone on here can read what you said you like to look down your nose at ppl it's sad realy mate "

Like i said my post went way over your head quite a while back....but you carry on thinking what you like

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By *xplicitlyricsMan  over a year ago

south dublin


"l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?

Bollocks! Plenty work abroad and don't take their families"

Yes doctors sometimes travel to places like Dubai without their families for example. But thats because they can earn £25,000 per month over there, more than a junior doctor earns in a year in the UK.

Whats so attractive about working for the NHS or Britain that people will choose that instead of Dubai where they earn a lot more money or the EU where they can stay with their families? Or are you just aiming to get the people who arent good enough to get jobs in either of these places?

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By *oxychick35Couple  over a year ago

thornaby


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had

Are you a mind reader now ? no but everyone on here can read what you said you like to look down your nose at ppl it's sad realy mate

Like i said my post went way over your head quite a while back....but you carry on thinking what you like "

lmao there ya go again you can't help yaself bless

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"l like mark steel.... he tells it in the same way someone like frankie boyle does... its not that the points made aren't valid, the way that the points are made are what rub people up the wrong way.....

i am glad that he brought up the tory proposal that "skilled" workers would only be allowed to be here for 3 years...

i am sure if you are a fruit picker it would be an inconvience.. but lets say you need doctors or teachers?

how are you going to convince someone to bring themselves and uproot their families if they are only guarenteed 36 months... I certainly wouldn't do that to mine! or are you actually potentially asking people to be stay away parents?

Bollocks! Plenty work abroad and don't take their families

Yes doctors sometimes travel to places like Dubai without their families for example. But thats because they can earn £25,000 per month over there, more than a junior doctor earns in a year in the UK.

Whats so attractive about working for the NHS or Britain that people will choose that instead of Dubai where they earn a lot more money or the EU where they can stay with their families? Or are you just aiming to get the people who arent good enough to get jobs in either of these places?"

You answered your own question there, dubai for more money, or the eu, where the better economy for their families. The idea of it isn't exactly ideal, however; that doesn't mean it wont roll over into another and i can't see people with the skills needed being deported

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So calling them Jeremy Kyle watches was a compliment to the UlKs unemployed or right Iv got it now lol

I feel sorry for some of our unemployed and some i don't...the purpose of my post is soon they wont have any choice...it will be either accept a zero hour contract or lose your benefit...that was the bit that went straight over your head

But please show me where i've said the young people.... your right you didn't say young but that's what you ment tho but it does t matter anyway you still called them Jeremy Kyle watchers coz you like to judge and slag ppl off who you don't know It never went over my head mate you would like to think it had

Are you a mind reader now ? no but everyone on here can read what you said you like to look down your nose at ppl it's sad realy mate

Like i said my post went way over your head quite a while back....but you carry on thinking what you like lmao there ya go again you can't help yaself bless "

Dear oh dear you dont really get it do ya...bless ya!!1

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss. "

Exactly. I voted leave based on sensible debate. I don't agree with you but i respect your decision because it's based on sensible reasoning

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

Exactly. I voted leave based on sensible debate. I don't agree with you but i respect your decision because it's based on sensible reasoning "

So you believed the 350m on the side of that bus?

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By *robertsCouple  over a year ago

Leicestershire

When all is said and done It was still the right decision to leave and time will tell it was the right decision for the uk, I have absolutely no doubt about that for many many reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the fundamental flaw with your optimistic fantasising is that it's not all said and done for another 18 months

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"When all is said and done It was still the right decision to leave and time will tell it was the right decision for the uk, I have absolutely no doubt about that for many many reasons. "

No doubt at all? How about a drop of 96% of nurses from the EU registering to work in the UK. Does that worry you?

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By *andS66Couple  over a year ago

Derby


"Ah the great eu that would prosper u a all....but in reality we have gone back to the bleak house times of dickens with food banks and soup kitchens.

Well that worked well eh "

And brexit is the cause of food banks is it?

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By *illwill69uMan  over a year ago

moston


"And brexit is the cause of food banks is it?"

No, but brexit is a part of the same political sickness that has led British voters to vote against their own self interest for the last 30 odd years and for many to demand even more radical right wing policies when those are the very things that are harming them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

Exactly. I voted leave based on sensible debate. I don't agree with you but i respect your decision because it's based on sensible reasoning

So you believed the 350m on the side of that bus? "

I said sensible reasoning. I wasn't sure about the figures bandied about but the way he focused on single issues and the manner he presented it was daft and didn't help the brexit cause

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm implacably against Brexit, and usually quite like Mark Steel.

I don't think banging on about chimney sweeps etc helps the "cause" much though - it's easily dismissed.

Serious, hard facts and evidence are much harder to dismiss.

Exactly. I voted leave based on sensible debate. I don't agree with you but i respect your decision because it's based on sensible reasoning

So you believed the 350m on the side of that bus?

I said sensible reasoning. I wasn't sure about the figures bandied about but the way he focused on single issues and the manner he presented it was daft and didn't help the brexit cause"

Farage and geldoff on their bsrges in the Thames was f*ing hilarious though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When all is said and done It was still the right decision to leave and time will tell it was the right decision for the uk, I have absolutely no doubt about that for many many reasons.

No doubt at all? How about a drop of 96% of nurses from the EU registering to work in the UK. Does that worry you?"

It'll continue to worry me if our government continues shoving its thumbs up its arse, and doesnt increase training capacity, funding and courses.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The sad thing is brexit makes some sense in terms of risk reduction (distance from Eu IF*** it goes badly wrong, more strength in decision making etc. ) but the planning, approach and implementation couldn't be much worse and has become economic suicide and backed the UK into a corner of desperation and thus negotiation weakness

*** a very low probability if but possible

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ah the great eu that would prosper u a all....but in reality we have gone back to the bleak house times of dickens with food banks and soup kitchens.

Well that worked well eh

And brexit is the cause of food banks is it?"

Yes it is as it makes people poorer so many have to open.

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By *illwill69uMan  over a year ago

moston


"The sad thing is brexit makes some sense in terms of risk reduction (distance from Eu IF*** it goes badly wrong, more strength in decision making etc. ) but the planning, approach and implementation couldn't be much worse and has become economic suicide and backed the UK into a corner of desperation and thus negotiation weakness

*** a very low probability if but possible "

I for one understand where you are coming from but think you are wrong. There is no probability (low or otherwise) that the EU will fail. There is a remote possibility that the USA will eventually launch an overt rather than continue its failed and failing covert economic war against the EU in an effort to maintain its global economic and fiscal dominance. But in my opinion this has already failed because the US corporations who have driven this covert war have already gutted US economic dominance and handed it to China in an attempt to destabilise the EU which, from where I am looking, is doing perfectly OK thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Willwill you know better than most that all empires come to an end eventually....

I agree it's a very very very low chance in the next 10 years withstanding a world war or something

It is "Imminent" to your typical think as a plank tabloid brexiter

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By *illwill69uMan  over a year ago

moston


"Willwill you know better than most that all empires come to an end eventually....

I agree it's a very very very low chance in the next 10 years withstanding a world war or something

It is "Imminent" to your typical think as a plank tabloid brexiter "

Again I agree with what you say, but remember I am the one who voted leave because I believe we (the UK) are toxic to the EU and need to spend some time experiencing the realities of living in a country dominated by a pro US corporate culture government without the protecting umbrella of 'unelected' Brussels bureaucrats stopping elected representatives of the people sell us out in order to trousers the bribes of the big business billionaires.

I accepted that I was voting myself into quick poverty, but now I realise that the tory fascists are attempting to change the rules so much I may have voted myself into slavery.

Funny how many are still cheering...

I am seriously beginning to think this country has lost its collective sanity.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Admirable

I think you overestimate the capacity of people to learn their lesson. Look at the extreme cognitive dissonance from all the die hards as their world view crumbles by the minute

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By *illwill69uMan  over a year ago

moston


"Admirable

I think you overestimate the capacity of people to learn their lesson. Look at the extreme cognitive dissonance from all the die hards as their world view crumbles by the minute "

If our population are so obtuse they refuse to learn then we as a nation deserve to go the way of the Mayans and Carthaginians. In the same way if humanity is so greedy and short sighted that it refuses to believe the mounting evidence of the damage we are doing to spaceship earth then we too deserve the dame fate as the Dodo.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Thanks op. Spot on!

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